dreamlikenewyork

If you see this BS article circulating social media, please never send me any of them. For one, I'd prefer your own words. Second, I hate overused positive platitudes even when I'm well... please stop to think how I would feel receiving them when I'm not and can't help not being well.

Finally, if ANYONE says to me by text or in person "Don't let the darkness steal the beautiful person you have inside you", "You will not let these bad thoughts win", or "I'll be there to hug you when the sun comes up", please 1) delete yourself from my life because you don't get depression at all, and 2) I will vomit on you.

Finally, if anyone shares this, don't tag me in it. It'll ruin my day and I'll unfriend you and block you like the first person who did it.

Over and out.

Fuck's sake, I need fresh air.

feeling : shitted off

beautifulday

Who: Sasha Stanford and Justin Campbell
What: "I know that we have been through so much pain."
Where: Upstate, NY
When: After this

Sasha was woken by Justin starting to have another nightmare, though it didn’t seem to be as severe as the one the night before. He was crying, pulling away in his sleep and getting caught up in a tangle of sheets damp from sweat. Sometimes, touching Justin to try to get his attention was the worst thing you could do, but Sasha had to try. He had realised there were certains ways he could touch Justin that didn’t trigger him. He had to have been in a pretty deep sleep him, because he was disoriented at first, forgetting they were away from home when he tried to reach for his lamp and it wasn’t there. Here at the cabin, there was only one lamp and it was on Justin’s side.

He softly put his hand over Justin’s forehead and stroked the tips of his fingers through his hair. “Justin, baby, it’s Sash. Wake up up for me,” he urged, keeping his voice gentle but with enough volume to try to break through Justin’s dreaming. He took one of Justin’s hand, lacing their fingers together and it wasn’t long before Justin jolted awake and tried to pull his hand out of Sasha’s. Sasha seized that moment to reach over Justin to flick the lamp on so he would be able to see him. Justin’s eyes were red and swollen, but looked frightened and frenzied. His face glistening with a thick sweat mixing with the tears. His breathing was heavy and rapid, but Sasha could see he came out of it pretty easily. His eyes clocked Sasha, and then they scanned the room, taking in their surroundings.

“Shhh, it’s okay. It’s only me. I’m here. Sit up, baby. I’ve got you...” He had to get Justin sitting in case he started being sick. The night before, he nearly choked when the sickness hit. It wasn’t easy, Justin reflexively fought him a little, but soon let him let him sit up. Sasha knelt beside him, softly massaging the nape of his neck with one hand and holding his head with the other. Justin wasn’t retching. Tears were still falling and he was struggling to catch his breath, but he just leaned into Sasha heavily, trying to draw his brain back to reality. Sasha kissed his forehead and waited. He would wait as long as it took, at the ready for however Justin’s body was going to respond.

( Justin felt horrible, but that wasn’t new... )

LOG, COMPLETE

beautifulday

Who: Sasha Stanford and Will Jackson
What: Biting the bullet
Where: Lakehouse, Upstate NY
When: Simultaneous to this

Contrary to the joking, Justin and Sasha hadn’t gone to their room to fuck. They had gone because Justin was getting teary again and he didn’t want to cry in front of everyone. It had been a really difficult therapy session for him. With his healthcare team looking at a couple of new therapy regimes, including one Ari would work on him with, it meant dredging stuff up. Will coming back out of the blue had shaken Justin, so that was inevitably stuff he would need to be talking through in therapy. The night before, Justin also had another one of his bad nightmares. The sort where he could scream the whole place down and sound like someone was trying to murder him. It was hard. He did the best fucking job he could to keep his head above water, but sometimes, he was too tired to manage it.

Justin took a quick shower while Sasha sorted out his medication and found the PJs Justin packed. As soon as they had gotten back to the cabin’s room they were sharing, Justin lost it a little. He was just saying over and over again, “I can’t do it. I can’t do it. Not today.” He hadn’t outwardly shown how shaken he was, though. No one realised too much that he wasn’t in the best headspace. Yet, he still wanted to come. It sounded like fun and he had to start getting used to things somewhere. He wanted it to be now. That didn’t mean he would manage it. It might take a lot of false starts before he could. Sasha knew it was his responsibility to ensure Will understood this, especially considering he seemed to stop understanding Justin long ago. That was the hardest part for Sasha. Will had hurt Justin almost beyond repair and now he had to entrust the person he loved more than life itself in his hands again? Without any guarantee Justin would be okay? It was tough, and Sasha didn’t want to prolong the process. It was true, he wanted to get on with it like ripping a band-aid off, so he could at least assess the lay of the land and hopefully feel like he had more control over the situation.

( It wasn’t long after Justin climbed into bed that he crashed out... )

LOG, COMPLETE

friendsforever

Who: Layla Morton and Maryanne Spencer with the tribe!
What: Squad @ the Lakehouse!
Where: Upstate NY
When: Friday to Sunday

Everyone had packed up in cars, distributing themselves out between those who owned cars and had their licences. Maryanne and Layla both drove and they had shared-ownership of a purple that the boys all called the Lesbomobile. Just as they were packing the car up, Sasha flicked a text through to Layla saying he wasn't sure if they were coming because Justin was still in his therapy session, but if Will wanted to go, it was cool. He told her that if they came, they came, but if Justin wasn't up to it, he would send them a text to let them all know. So, Will was added to their car, along with her, Maryanne, Shannon and Fin. With Maryanne driving, Layla sat in the back with Will and Fin, Shannon in the front seat because he couldn't climb over to the back. Only, a mini being a small car with not much room to spare, they ended up having to pull over about halfway when Fin got carsick, an unfortunate downside to his Meniere's disease, a condition that affected his inner ear and caused bad dizziness sometimes.

Even if he did sound the warning that he was going to puke, this was likely not karma Will was hoping for, with Fin ended up puking on his leg, which saved any mess getting anywhere on the car interior. While Fin was busy upended his lunch all over the side of the road with Layla rubbing his back, and Shannon watching over protectively from the front seat, Will changed into another pair of jeans and could actually see the funny side of it. That was pretty telling. He wouldn't live it down now, not with their bunch, and he was taking it like a sport.

Fin slept the rest of the way and it was an uneventful drive beyond that, save for Shannon probably giving himself RSI of the next turning around frequently to check on Fin. They were one of the first to get there, which worked out well because Shannon had the keys to the cabin. Which was gorgeous. Plenty of room for them, and they could step out of the back door and in a few paces be on the pier out into the water. There were two smaller rooms with double beds, and the rest of the rooms were share-rooms with four double bunk beds. Meaning, it would be eight people to a room, but no one was bothered. There were just a lot of jokes about Sasha and Justin, and Fin and Shannon (who took the room with the attached bathroom that was fitted with disabled access for him) being the only ones who were going to get laid that weekend. Unless the couples got creative.

Cooper, one of the resident Aussies, cooked an epic barbecue for everyone the Aussie-way, which was mostly just chucking a whole pile of sausages onto the barbecue with onions and they were going to eat them with bread and ketchup. There was also some burgers and pieces of chicken, but predominantly they were Aussieing it up that night. Layla didn't hear again from Sasha and it was only after they were getting near the end of dinner that they pulled up in Sasha's car outside. Ultimately, Justin must have decided he was going to take a stab at it. Dory came running in first to greet everyone, but the way she skidded on the polished floors when she saw Will was pretty telling. She sneered a little at him and then moved on to the next person. Dory was probably going to be Will's biggest hurdle, it seemed.

It was an open-planned cabin, so the kitchen was connected to the sprawling living room area where most people were hanging out after dinner. They had brought a pile of board games to play that night, and even if there was TV, it was unlikely they would watch it. They never failed to keep each other entertained. Hand-in-hand, Justin and Sasha went straight to the kitchen where Cooper, Skylar, Cas and Merlin were chatting and still eating. Merlin wasn't eating anything. He was sitting on a can of Sprite because he hadn't been well through the week. Justin sat up on one of the countertops and Sasha stood between his legs, trying to coax him to have a sausage sandwich. He did soon relinquish and Sasha got him a sausage, diagonal on one piece of bread with onions and tomato ketchup. It was very Aussie, but then these days, so was Justin.

Sitting on the sofa, Layla watched as Justin and Sasha shared some kisses, softly smiling at each other as they did. She couldn't help but look over at Will to gauge his reaction. This was what he was going to have to get used. Justin and Sash were an affectionate couple, they didn't feel they had to hide anything. Which was exactly what their squad was all about, being a safe place for all of them to be comfortable being who they were. Will was watching too, but sensed Layla's gaze, which he met. He gave her a small smile and then looked to where Jett and Zeke were sorting through the board games so everyone could decide what to play first.

It wasn't too long before Justin and Sasha disappeared up the hall to the bedrooms, and a little while passed. "Okay, who had their money on J and Sash banging first? Time for you other bitches to cough up!" Skylar declared, smirking, dumping the Monopoly pieces on the board.

"Bet you're wishing you had x-ray vision, huh?" Layla joked, snatching up the dog piece for her and Maryanne because they were going to be playing in teams.

"Hell yeah. Have you seen their asses?" Sky threw back, ever the resident manwhore.

likefatherlikeson

Sasha Stanford ♥

friendsforever

Lake Cabin trip still on this weekend, tribe?

friendsforever

Who: Layla Morton and Will Jackson
What: LTNS
Where: Layla & Maryanne's Place
When: After this

Layla was in the midst of a pile of homework when the doorbell rang. Maryanne was busy rehearsing with the band, though at the moment, it was sans Justin’s help. Everyone knew he wanted to help, but he was trying to recover and recondition to return back to the stage after his hospital stay, and he was also busy supporting Sasha with a visit to Boston to see Andi’s parents. He had his hands full, and mostly at this point, his input was creative advice on what the band could run with while they got used to the exposure, rather than being directly involved. She had chatted with Sasha at school during the week, and he was definitely distracted.

Maryanne, on the other hand, wasn’t just loving every minute of working with the band, but she had taken a significant leap of courage and faith and auditioned for the role of Rusty in Footloose. Initially, she hadn’t thought she was good enough, didn’t think musical theatre was what she wanted, wasn’t sure she was cut out for acting. She definitely had the musical talent. It was quite possibly a knowing smirk Justin had giving her across the room at one of their hangout sessions that challenged Maryanne to giving it a shot. The subject of the auditions for Footloose had come up, but Justin was pretty tight-lipped about them. He had some swing when it came to who would be working with him, but it mostly seemed like he just didn’t want to discuss the technicalities of his job when he was off the clock. He had planted the original seed in Maryanne’s ear, though. It was a little while ago now, and he hadn’t directly told her she should do it. Mostly, he had just emphasised it was a role Caden was holding open auditions before, but it would be competitive as to talent, not experience in theatre performing. Caden never recruited on experience, it was always him looking for a special spark in a potential candidate and being able to see their potential. Just like he had with Justin all that time ago.

( Layla was the only one home, so she shoved her textbook aside and got up to go answer the door... )

LOG, COMPLETE

likefatherlikeson

I can't meet you for coffee on Tuesday.

likefatherlikeson

Dialectical Behavioral Therapy with the psych, and Interpersonal and Social Rhythm Therapy with Ari next on the menu. I'm tired #therapyguineapig

likefatherlikeson

Who: Justin Campbell and Sasha Stanford
What: TLC
Where: Boston, MA
When: After this

Even if he was shaken and went quiet after the cemetery, Sasha bounced back a little once they arrived at Andi’s parents’ place. He was still emotionally exhausted and confused, but he wasn’t questioning anything. He was tired, but somehow, visiting Andi at the cemetery and being sure he received clear signs that she was okay and at peace, it was cathartic for him. And it was soon clear that getting him to talk wasn’t on their agenda. Nothing really was. They were just over the moon to see him and spend time with him, to have the chance to spend time with Justin and get to know him. It was a beautiful and warm welcome, Mrs Kingston fussing like the typical loving mother she was and Mr Kingston asking Justin all about Australia. To Sasha, there was this surreal sensation like no time had passed at all, and he was a little shellshocked with that. The home was so familiar, it hadn’t changed aesthetically at all. But Andi was gone, and that change was so stark, Sasha really struggled at first. He couldn’t remember ever being there without her.

Mr and Mrs Kingston sensed that. They coaxed the boys to go upstairs and settle in, maybe take a shower and have a little rest. There were plans to order pizza for dinner and they could catch up over a meal and something yummy for dessert. Justin took the first shower, but only to quickly freshen up. When he got out of the en-suite with his towel wrapped around his waist, Sasha was curled up on the bed asleep. It really had emotionally wiped out. Justin had sat down beside him and drew the throw rug on the end of the bed over him and tucked it in. Sitting on the bedside table was Sasha’s wallet and keys, and on top of his phone, the feather they found at the cemetery. He never knew before how he felt about all that higher being or afterlife stuff. He never really believed, because all the things he had survived in his life made him wonder why he wasn’t entitled to some higher protection.

( Only now, it was beginning to feel like he had it and it felt like Andi was orchestrating it... )

LOG, COMPLETE

beautifulday

privateinvestigations

beautifulday

Who: Sasha Stanford and Justin Campbell
What: I'm loving angels instead...
Where: Boston, MA
When: After this

Justin did exactly what he didn’t want to do on the drive to Boston… fell asleep. He only realised when he was being woken gently by Sasha giving his hand a soft squeeze and stroking his cheek. He had been planning on talking to Sasha about Will on the drive but here he was, waking up groggy and disoriented with creased up the side of his face from the sweater Sasha must have wedged between his head and the window so he didn’t get a sore neck. “Shit…” he mumbled, looking around with a stretch and a yawn, peering out the window and seeing they were parked at the cemetery. “I thought we were going to see her folks first? Is there a bathroom here?”

“I don’t know, baby. You might need to find a tree,” Sasha told him, smirking a little. Justin had crashed about fifteen minutes out of New York after they made plans to hit a McDonalds drive-thru to get something to eat. He wasn’t really surprised when he noticed Justin go quiet and his eyes were drooping. Although Justin did sleep the night before, it wasn’t a settled sleep. Sometimes, his brain just didn’t cooperate with switching off and that meant even if he did sleep, he didn’t get rest. You could usually tell when that happened because Justin woke up and didn’t speak to anyone. You might get a grunt and he might clear the brain fog a bit with a shower, but he didn’t usually perk up until he had breakfast and tea. He was always content with letting Justin sleep, as Justin was with him when his head was mucking up on him. This time, it gave him some time alone with his thoughts, trying to process what he was feeling going to Boston for this visit. “I just felt like I needed to come here first. I don’t know why.”

( Justin rested his hand on Sasha’s thigh and leaned in to give him a kiss... )

LOG, COMPLETE

musthavebeenlove

Who: Will and Luke Jackson
What: Brotherly Bonding
Where: NYC
When: After this

Will was sitting on the living room floor in the middle of what looked like a baby store exploded around him. Countless toys - nothing isolated to gendered male toys either - some disposable nappies, baby wipes, a change mat, an open jar of baby food that was barely touch with a baby spoon sitting in it, five soiled bibs, one baby sock (fuck knows where the other went) and a large plush koala with a red t-shirt with Milo’s name embroidered on it that was bigger than Milo himself. Will decided he was going to nail this awesome uncle thing, but that didn’t mean he perfected the art just yet.

Milo was pulling himself up on furniture now and had grown so much since the last time Will saw him. He was still tiny for his age, and coming from a mother who had been addicted to drugs when she was pregnant with him did that. That didn’t make him less the best nephew in the entire world. On the contrary, he was adorable. Blonde hair, big blue eyes, long eyelashes, drooly smile, and giggles that Will thought was one of the best sounds in the world. “C’mon, buddy. You can do it. Look, just three or four steps and you’ll be here. I can catch you.” Will was trying to coax his nephew away from where he was holding himself up on the coffee table, holding his hands out to him. He got all of one and a bit steps before he fell on his butt again. “Ohhh! So close. Good job.”

( Luke arrived home from work, dragging his feet wearily and dumped his bag on one of the armchairs... )

LOG, COMPLETE

musthavebeenlove

Watch on YouTube

canadianheart

Sash trying to celebrity versus Sash trying to celebrity when someone mentions J.

likefatherlikeson

Who: Justin Campbell and Will Jackson
What: Ghosts from the past...
Where: Broadway, NYC
When: After this

ooc : moar retconning ahoy!

Justin’s training schedule was once again batshit crazy. Not just for him to recondition after faceplanting the stage and nearly dropping dead in front of a sell-out audience, but because he was poised to resume with a new Ariel and Rusty. It was a watch-this-space moment. Auditions for Rusty had happened the day before and Caden was in talks with his team about who would get callbacks. The private auditions for Ariel were the next day, and Justin still wasn’t convinced Cassidy would go through with it. He hoped she did. Not because he wanted her to get the part (even if that would be incredible), but because he knew it would help her emotionally when she had been struggling in her new skin, floundering in her new relationship, and basically not knowing what way was up.

For now, Justin was training with the Ariel understudy who had been holding the role. Rumour had it she was auditioning too, but Justin hoped she didn’t get it. He didn’t like how she hesitated in his lifts every single time they trained and their kisses on stage felt like they had the passion of a dead fish. If you were an actor, you should be able to fucking act. He was as gay as any gay person could be, and he still managed it with a straight chick over and over for months. Or maybe he was just out of sorts with the notion of new cast members joining again. It was never easy. He knew they wouldn’t all be as awesome as Merlin. It scared him, and it took a lot of focus and concentration to stop himself assuming they were all rapists. Not really a welcome anyone deserved, even if they kissed like dead fish.

( That morning, his mind was elsewhere... )

LOG, COMPLETE

givemethenews

Hey, babe. Do you think you'll get off on time today?

asskickingblahniks

Who: Gen Hart and Mark Campbell
What: Alone Time
Where: The Hamptons, NY
When: Friday

This time around, it was obvious to both Mark and Gen that making time for each other was vital. They had gifted Justin and Sasha with a couple of nights at The Plaza so they could get away and just have private time alone, but in doing that, they realised they needed to do the same thing. It was a pretty enlightening thing to realise you needed to take a leaf out of your teenage son’s book. They both constantly observed Justin and Sasha, if only because they needed to make sure Justin was on par with okay. He had his good and bad days, of course. But not all bad days meant disaster. All it meant was he was off-balance and needed to be watched in case he got worse. But it was obvious the kids had the right recipe for making a relationship work, even through all the challenges.

Gen knew she had to do everything she could to not repeat past mistake. It was feeling surreal to her that it was actually working this time. She was happy, she was more on the ball, she had her fingers back in all the pies she needed them, she was back to momming, and her son was treating her like she was his mom again. Moreover, Sasha had warmed to her significantly, Paris was no longer pissed off with her, Mark had amped up his sexy flirting with her again, her in-laws pulled her back into their pack, and everything at work was running smoothly and on the ball. But in amongst achieving all that, it was just as important as anything else to work on that spark she and Mark were hoping to nurture.

( Which is what had them escaping to their beach house in The Hamptons... )

LOG, COMPLETE

playingtowin

School has been making me brain dead. Please tell me there's something fun going on this weekend.

itsrainingmen

up next, got some fun retconning in the works for this boy and a few other muses (he's been wanting out again for ages) - watch this space! ;)

likefatherlikeson

Are you okay, Cas? How's Merlin? I just wanted to say sorry again for sort of blindsiding you.

beautifulday

I wanna come home. I hate school. Why the fuck isn't it still summer? #missyou

americanskin

Snoozes with Daddy. I could watch him sleep forever ♥

wordsofwisdom

KARAOKE PARTAYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY! Everyone on board for today?! :D

likefatherlikeson

Today is World Suicide Prevention Day. You may feel powerless, but never underestimate the power you have to reach out to someone and offer them your strength when they have none. Join my friends and me today for Karaoke in the Park to recognise suicide prevention and raise money for helping young people with mental illness #shadesofviolet #werememberthosewholost #depressionkills #worldsuicidepreventionday

ifeelthelove

Who: Cassidy Cohen and Merlin Larson
What: Plucking up courage
Where: Merlin's place
When: After this

There was no doubt about the fact Cassidy had been thinking - a lot, and deeply - since her chat with Justin at the theatre, and the subsequent online chat with the squad. Fuck, did she love that bunch to many universes and back. They were so supportive and amazing, she often felt like she didn’t deserve them. What she did know was that she and Justin shared something in their pasts… abuse, trauma, pain. The fact he believed in her with this was so overwhelming and she felt like she couldn’t catch her breath. She didn’t understand it. Things like this didn’t happen to people like her. Or so she thought, because it was happening. Her head was spinning with it, not to mention spinning with what Justin had revealed about her family and Presley. It was a lot to process, and she made one huge mistake in it… tried not to burden Merlin with it.

The squad had called her out on it. She had been sabotaging herself without realising it. Trying to keep Merlin at arm’s length so he couldn’t get close enough to hurt her. And he had just been taking it, because he was a sweetheart and seemed to smile his way through everything. But she was terrified of the unknown. She had never gotten this close to someone before. She was dating - officially - and like the boys blatantly pointed out, that should be they were getting closer, not more distant. It was strange for Cassidy not to want to tell Merlin about this massive plot twist, and as soon as they pointed that out to her, she knew they were right. What she also realised was that if Justin could conquer that and have what he did with Sasha, maybe she wasn’t a total lost cause. She just felt lost and odd since her surgery, like she wasn’t attached to herself anymore. That was something else she hadn’t told Merlin. In fact, she had kept everything superficial between them. What the fuck mixed signals had she been sending him? And why the fuck was she away and not with him when he wasn’t feeling well?

( It was time to shelve her dumb. It was time to scrape the bottom of that barrel for even a hint of courage to face the changes life was throwing at her, or she really was going to look back and regret everything... )

LOG, COMPLETE

likefatherlikeson

When you get dragged to Fashion Week by your mom and sister #omgsoboooooooooooooored

thosethreewords

Hey, Cas - is it true? You're auditioning for Ariel?

whatdoesntkillyou

I wanna do something fun on the weekend. Who's up for it?

ifeelthelove

#currentmood

ifeelthelove

Who: Cassidy Cohen and Justin Campbell (with a side order of Sasha and Merlin)
What: Hoodwinked
Where: Broadway, NYC
When: Friday

Cassidy and Merlin didn’t have any specific plans for the weekend. Most weekends, they made a point of doing at least one thing together. Merlin’s schedule was mental now he had started studying with his college scholarship funded by Caden’s company and his work on the show. Merlin Skyped her the night before and told her that he was going to the theatre the next day because Justin was getting back in the saddle to prep for the auditions for Ariel and Rusty. Merlin and Billy always had rehearsals with Justin because they played the supporting male role to Justin’s lead. Cassidy didn’t think anything of it when Merlin asked if she wanted to come along and hang out while they rehearsed, explaining that Sasha was going to be there too.

When they arrived at the theatre and wandered inside holding hands, the dynamics had switched a bit. It wasn’t Justin practicing. He was sitting on a stool by the piano up there where Sasha was sat playing. He was singing John Legend’s All Of Me to Justin, who was smiling more brightly than Cassidy had seen in a long time. She now knew how that felt because Merlin made her smile like that. She thought she never would. She thought she would always be too much baggage for any guy to love, or being trans made her too awkward to pull off in a normal sweet and loving relationship. Her and Merlin were in their early days, but they had fun and laughed a lot. There was nothing intimate yet. She was still terrified about that, terrified of being rejected again if she brought it up, so it was all just light and fun. Which she was okay with. She needed that for awhile, especially considering she still wasn’t sure she was used to her new body. It didn’t feel as fabulous as she thought it would. It felt foreign, strange and like she had to learn how to use it properly. It was surreal. She couldn’t even look much at herself naked because it felt odd.

“Wow, I didn’t know Sash could play,” Merlin noted in a whisper as they stopped in the aisle so they didn’t intrude on the moment.

( Cassidy smiled... )

LOG, COMPLETE

beautifulday

Who: Sasha Stanford and Justin Campbell
What: Quality Alone Time
Where: The Plaza, NYC
When: After this

Sasha woke slowly that morning, not even quite sure he was awake at first. There were slow and heavy-lidded blinks until he got his eyes open a little more, finding Justin lying right up close next to him watching him. Justin had his hands tucked under his pillow and smiled when Sasha finally pried his eyes open and met his gaze. Sasha, on the other hand, had his face smooshed into the very edge of the pillow and had been lying awkwardly with his nose nearly against the mattress. The fluffy cloud of white covers were engulfed in a cocoon around them. “Why y’wake?” he murmured sleepily, returning the smile.

After most of the benefit the night before and before music and dancing started, Justin and Sasha both hit a wall. Justin had done some mingling and talking to people but then he mostly stuck close to his circle when people kept asking him how he was after being in hospital. Sasha couldn’t dance and Justin didn’t feel like it either, even if a bunch of people asked him to. They had been sat at their table arms around each other and contently watching everything going on when Mark and Gen had come over to them. Justin got upset again at seeing his dad, the first time they got a chance to chat since his speech, and Mark told him how much he loved him and proud of him he was. They had a good long hug and Justin got his tears under control again. That was when Mark told them he and Gen were shouting them a couple of nights in The Plaza to rest and relax. They needed the private time alone after everything and deserved to be treated.

( Not just that, but it was one of the most expensive suites in the place because Mark and Gen both had high-up connections in New York... )

LOG, COMPLETE

privateinvestigations

aussielawyer

We're kidless. What should we do?

ifeelthelove

Doing the date thing, like a boss!

thosethreewords

Just for the record, I am not going to die happy until I see J lead you band tribe in this song. We can't get him drunk, so you're all going to have to get creative. Blackmail, maybe? Take Sash hostage until he does it? Ban him from watching Footloose until he caves?

Watch on YouTube

beautifulday

Who: Sasha Stanford with Justin Campbell
What: "I'll be there, by your side, baby."
Where: Shades of Violet Carers Benefit, New York City
When: After this

Sasha was a complete mess. He had started being a complete mess oh, about three lines into Justin’s speech when he saw that Mark was getting teary. If he was honest, he had been welling up hearing Justin sing his first song because he hadn’t heard him sing a register like that before and it was breathtaking. Once again a sign of how talented Justin was, all wrapped up in a package of a broken and sick teenager. Sasha knew in his heart that whatever was going to come would be emotional. It was maybe about a third the way in that it hit Sasha hard exactly why Justin wanted to be here that night. Why he had pushed to get to this performance. It wasn’t just about performing or singing or keeping his booking. This one was personal. Personal beyond belief. He was pretty sure everyone in that room had tears the further and further Justin got. It was only times like this that people were reminded just exactly how much he had survived, and why he was the best person to be an ambassador for this charity.

But Sasha really did just think all this was for Mark and that was why it was so important to Justin. It was why he was a mess, because he knew how much Justin loved his dad and feared losing him. Justin talked about that a lot and had confided in Sasha about it many times. For awhile there, he even believed he was the cause of Mark and Gen’s marriage failing. That the reason Gen wasn’t still there was because he was too much to handle, but she wasn’t related to him biologically, so she wasn’t obligated like his dad was. Mark deserved the honour because his kids were his world and his pride for Justin was boundless. Sasha adored Mark. He had become such a fantastic friend to his parents and he already felt like a father-in-law to him.

( Truly, though, he just loved hearing Justin speak... )

COMPLETE

likefatherlikeson

Who: Justin Campbell and everyone important in his life
What: "It might have appeared to go unnoticed, but I've got it all here in my heart"
Where: Shades of Violet Carers Benefit, New York City
When: Friday night

The benefit turned out to be an incredible night. Right up until the last minute, Justin wasn’t going to go. Sasha’s reaction to him performing so soon after he had been seriously sick in hospital had hung over his head, and Sasha himself had still been recovering from the shitty step-up in his migraines. But Sasha had gotten better each day and now even though he was still weak on the one side, it wasn’t as incapacitating as it had been. The nausea and headache had both gone also.

Justin still hadn’t been going to go. Even if it was his friends’ band’s debut performance. They had all been rehearsing hard and sounded absolutely fucking incredible. He was so proud of them, and this benefit for carers of young people with mental illness was their ideal first show. Justin considered all his friends his carers in some way because they had all supporting him through some of the worst times of his life. He only learned at the last minute that it wasn’t just his friends in the band and his family who were going to the benefit, but all his friends as well and it had been Sasha who surprisingly convinced him to go.

( The tough part for Justin was returning to the public eye after his very public collapse on stage at the end of the show that night. Thank fuck it hadn’t been directly related to a bipolar episode this time... )

COMPLETE

playingtowin

Sash lives! Dude, how are you feeling?

beautifulday

dancethenightaway

Training session with the real-life Johnny and Baby. Wish me luck, I'll fucking need it :P

likefatherlikeson

livefortoday

That completely awesome moment when your other half tells you he bought a house for you as a wedding present and it turns out to be a fucking mansion #marriedarockstar #highlife #surprise

( Is this real life? )

picturesofyou

Just for the record, his photos make me come in my pants more than porn does.

innocenteyes

Who: Amarlie-Rose Satori and Justin Campbell
What: Brother & Sister D&Ms
Where: Casa de Campbell, Upper East Side
When: In the wake of this

Amarlie had her sketches of designs spread out over the living room so she could visualise what she had already worked on for the spread in FABULOUS. Living under the same roof with Gen proved to ultimately be invaluable, despite the false start. They had been working closely on what Amarlie would design for the feature on all her friends and where they fell on the LGBTQIA+ youth spectrum.

Because the living room in the attached apartment where she lived had been transformed into a music/games room, she had more room to spread out in the main living room. She was the only one at home who was awake that afternoon. Everyone else was either out or working (Gen was working from home in the office and Grandpa Campbell was painting Mark and Gen’s en-suite bathroom) Justin and Sasha crashed out after the horrible nightmare of Sasha being rushed to hospital because half his body was numb and he couldn’t speak or see properly. Even if it ultimately turned out to be nothing serious, it had still been an ordeal. They hadn’t gotten home from the hospital until later the previous night after Sasha went through a pile of tests to make sure it wasn’t something more serious or damaging going on. Which is why she absolutely didn’t not expect to see Justin up.

( When he shuffled into the living room, he looked like he had just woken up... )

LOG, COMPLETE

thosethreewords

That awesome moment when J changes his username to manicatthedisco.

zedblaze

Who: Zoran Jennings and Colby Knight
What: Better late than never
Where: Zoran's place
When: After this

Zoran was chilling out with a coffee and Netflix when Colby arrived home from work in the morning. He had been on a 24-hour on-call shift, which meant he had to stay at the hospital and got paged to patients as he was needed. Sometimes he got a bit of rest there, other times, he didn’t stop. Zoran knew this because he had been asking Colby a lot of questions about being a doctor now he knew he was one. He still couldn’t believe Colby managed to keep that from him, but it was a testament to the fact Colby was traumatised from their past too. Zoran understood that now. It was very much not one-sided and it was the foundation they were building on to move on with a new chapter and a fresh start.

Colby looked completely wrecked when he got in. He dragged himself in the door and dumped his bag on the sofa. “So, I take it that it was far from a breezy shift?” Zoran asked, standing so he could go and give Colby a hug. “Do you want a cuppa and something to eat? I’ll make it, you take a load off, love.” He rubbed Colby’s arms, giving him a sympathetic smile. Zoran was an insomniac and a night-owl, but his job was far from as intense as Colby’s.

“That sounds like fucking heaven,” Colby mumbled with a tired nod. He pointed over his shoulder. “I’m just going to take a quick shower and then I can tell you all about my crazy shift.”

( Zoran decided to make pancakes, remembering from childhood they were Colby’s favourite breakfast... )

LOG, COMPLETE

likefatherlikeson

Who: Justin Campbell and Riley Bryant with Sasha Stanford
What: Fighting more battles
Where: NYC
When: Day after this

Sasha woke up with an epic migraine the next morning. It was one of the horrible ones where he couldn’t lift his head off the pillow, and could barely even tolerate the feeling of the pillow against his head. It was stress, without a doubt. His migraines had increased in frequency since Justin fell ill, but he hadn’t had one this bad in while.

Justin again put the whole household on bitchy threats to keep the noise down. No music, no walking heavily on the polished boards, no shouting, no talking walking past their room. Everyone had plans for the day, so Justin got Sasha his medications (the thing under the tongue didn’t work, so he had to take a jab) and once they kicked in, he fell asleep. They had both been going to Sasha’s parents’ place in New Rochelle for a barbeque they were having, and staying overnight there but Justin had to call up Sasha’s mom and relay the bad news. She was his mom, though, she got that her baby had the migraine affliction. She promised to let the guests know they were sorry and she wanted to drop around later in the evening to check how Sash was doing.

( Justin planned to just lie and rest with Sasha for the day... )

COMPLETE

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Dream Like New York

Page Summary

likefatherlikeson - [ FACEBOOK ]
beautifulday - "I need you tonight, I need you right now."
beautifulday - [ FACEBOOK ]
beautifulday - "And I would do anything for love, I'd run right into hell and back."
friendsforever - "It all goes on around the lake."
likefatherlikeson - [ FACEBOOK ]
friendsforever - [ FACEBOOK ] Group Chat @ SQUAD
friendsforever - "I know I can't take one more step towards you, 'cause all that's waiting is regret."
likefatherlikeson - [ TEXT MESSAGE ] To Will @ musthavebeenlove
likefatherlikeson - [ FACEBOOK ]
likefatherlikeson - "You're in the arms of the angel, may you find some comfort here."
beautifulday - [ FACEBOOK ]
privateinvestigations - [ FACEBOOK ]
beautifulday - "'Cause I have been told that salvation lets their wings unfold..."
musthavebeenlove - "It's time that we all understand that we are brother to brother."
musthavebeenlove - [ FACEBOOK ]
canadianheart - [ FACEBOOK ] with Sasha Stanford
likefatherlikeson - "It must have been good, but I lost it somehow."
givemethenews - [ TEXT MESSAGE ] To Alex @ itsrainingmen
asskickingblahniks - "Shine bright like a diamond."
playingtowin - [ FACEBOOK ] Group Chat - Squad!
itsrainingmen - ooc - retconning incoming!
likefatherlikeson - [ TEXT MESSAGE ] To Cas @ ifeelthelove
beautifulday - [ TEXT MESSAGE ] To Justin @ likefatherlikeson ♥
americanskin - [ FACEBOOK ] with Lexie Cole, Lincoln Cole and Clint Chevalier
wordsofwisdom - [ FACEBOOK ] Group Chat @ SQUAD
likefatherlikeson - [ FACEBOOK ]
ifeelthelove - "Beneath your beautiful."
likefatherlikeson - [ FACEBOOK ] with Gen Hart and Amarlie-Rose Satori
thosethreewords - [ FACEBOOK ] Group Chat - Squad!
whatdoesntkillyou - [ FACEBOOK ]
ifeelthelove - [ FACEBOOK ]
ifeelthelove - "And all these dreams I saved for a rainy day, they're finally coming true."
beautifulday - "But something happened for the very first time with you..."
privateinvestigations - [ FACEBOOK ]
aussielawyer - [ TEXT MESSAGE ] To Gen @ asskickingblahniks
ifeelthelove - [ FACEBOOK ] with Merlin Larson
thosethreewords - [ FACEBOOK ]
beautifulday - "You think I'd leave your side baby? You know me better than that."
likefatherlikeson - "Thank god for you, the wind beneath my wings..."
playingtowin - [ FACEBOOK ] Group Chat @ SQUAD
beautifulday - [ FACEBOOK ]
dancethenightaway - [ FACEBOOK ] with Kyan Wilson and Reecy Chester
likefatherlikeson - [ FACEBOOK ]
livefortoday - [ FACEBOOK ] with Cruz Quinlan
picturesofyou - [ FACEBOOK ] with Blaize Lamont
innocenteyes - "The moment that I step outside, so many reasons for me to run and hide."
thosethreewords - [ FACEBOOK ] Group Chat - Squad!
zedblaze - "The trauma born inside."
likefatherlikeson - "And I will try to fix you."

"I'm making my way."

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