dreamlikenewyork | [ TEXT ] To Brandon @ signofthetimes

Bitchpls. You have Justin. I'm less of a sassy bitch on socials than he is when he has good reason.

Fuck, don't I know it. Been on the receiving end more than I'd like to admit.

So... what gives? I spent ages at the management meeting detailing all the reasons why I didn't think you should have to damage control this so you didn't have to worry about it.

Been on the receiving end of Merlin's more than I'd like to admit lately. Must be something about Footloose. It hones the sass or something.

Picking my battles, I guess.

I heard about the fight. You guys okay? How's he doing?

You didn't owe them any justification, honey. They invaded your privacy.

I want to say yes but not really at the moment. Still feeling pretty rough. His surgery's scheduled for tomorrow afternoon. The prep's making him pretty miserable.

I know but I don't want anyone making up their own version of events, especially with regards to me being at the hospital in the middle of the night. Merlin deserves privacy too. If I just own it, I control it as much as I can.

Shit, that doesn't sound good. When can he go home? You guys are always better in your own private space.

Jess said they were really up in your face, despite it being pretty obvious you were stressed and not there in a professional capacity. I fucking hate fans who don't stay in their lanes.

We're used to not good. Two or three days after his surgery if he promises to take it easy. It's just laparoscopic.

It was 2 fucking am in the ER. They should've at least respected that no one is at the ER at 2 fucking am for the joy of it. I don't care who I am, don't be an entitled prick about anyone's space not your own. Having said that, I don't anyone speculating why I was there so I figured just put it out there and turn it into a nothingburger. So far as it being any fans' business. Merlin's fans already knew he was out sick from the show. It's up to him how much more he wants to say. Probably nothing.

Is everything okay, hon? I'm getting spidey senses from you like I do when Justin's acting a bit off. Usually means something's going on. Then again, I've learned over the years what signs to know if he's heading into an episode. You're a different sort of client, much harder to read.

It's worse because security were asked to make sure you weren't harassed or even approached. You don't think he'll say anything about why he was in hospital? I mean, that's fair. He's never been a big oversharer online. The only time he really was, was when you two hatched your clever coming out plan. He doesn't have separate socials like you and Justin.

So, you didn't learn the spidey senses training to be a Manager? I've got stuff going on. But I want to meet with you, Oly and Monty all at the same time to fill you in. There's been some change of plans.

It's not their fault. They were making sure the bay Merlin was in was overseen with security but I started having a panic attack and had to run to the bathroom. It was coming back that the fans spotted me and approached me in the corridor. My nerves were fucking shot, I lashed out a bit. I don't blame the hospital staff. I only thought to call my own security after the fact. Was too worried about Merlin to think of anything else. Merlin's more of a WhatsApp group and and totally random Instagramer/Tweeter. That's what his fans know and expect. He told me he's purposefully stepped a bit back since we got married because the shippers are scarier than our respective fans. That's why we were planning that first official appearance together but that's on hold now.

Edited 2023-06-26 11:24 (UTC)

That's probably more down to my fag hag training. A change with your work plans? Has Merlin put his foot down on you filling your schedule to the brim? You're only JUST getting better, hon. That I do get, though. Justin use to do the same after he's been out of action. After he nearly scalped himself on a treadmill, Mark had to pull dad rank on his workload.

A panic attack? Have you always had panic attacks? Are you going to go forward with a more coordinated PR strategy as a couple or does he prefer to just keep on doing his usual thing? I've never met his manager, so if you want to coordinate, maybe we could meet up and have a chat.

No. I mean, yeah, he has. We had a massive fight about it and he opened my eyes to some things I was being pretty dense about. But there's complications with the plans. Wait, what? How did he nearly scalp himself?

Not like this. I had a couple when I was sick before we heard Merlin was a donor match. This time was because I had this sudden freak out they might be about to diagnose him with some sort of cancer. He was really sick. Once my mind was there, I couldn't dial it back. He doesn't have a manager. He was scouted for this role and he's never wanted any other. Caden's mostly overseen shit for him.

Did he forgive you for being dense or are you still in the doghouse? The complications are what you need to talk to us about. He was having a manic episode and hadn't slept in days. Jus has self-harmed in a lot of unexpected ways. Working out like a cyborg was one of them. He was running on the treadmill and blacked out, fell and smacked his head on the frame of the machine. Ended up with a concussion and face that looked like he lost a few rounds with Mohammed Ali.

No one can blame you for having those traumas from when you were sick. Does he need one? Pretty sure I have room on my books for another very talented hottie. Seeing as my boyfriend is AWOL a lot these days.

He did and I was out of the doghouse for a bit. Then back in it. Then I was on the sharp end of a bitch-out, which was a bit sobering. I'm not used to being on the end of it from him but he's been through a rough few weeks. Well, fuck. Poor dude. He's touched on some of the shit he's been through and Merlin's told me more but I don't think I'd be able to survive it and still work in the industry. It's pretty unforgiving, as you and I both know from personal experience. Is his return still up in the air? I heard Sash woke up.

I know and I've been rec'ed grief counselling but I have shit to sort out first. Getting Merlin through surgery and back home again is my focus right now. Well, you could always hit him up when he's feeling better. He's not in the best of moods right now but give him a bit to recover. We did have some vague plans to coordinate some of our PR but like I said, could be a change of plans.

So, when you fuck up, you really go the whole hog, huh? Got to say, I know that feeling really well. Don't take the bitching to heart. Pain can turn us into bitches. You'll sort things out when he's feeling better. From the last update I got, Sash's memory is affected but they're hoping it's short-term. They're still trying to figure out if there's any permanent damage from the brain injury. Jus isn't coping so well with that or his own injuries. He might have something to fight for again now. And, I say this in confidence because Merlin will know soon anyway, Sash doesn't know who Justin is. Well, he knows who he is, he just doesn't know they're together. Or that he's gay.

Oh, shit. Are you going to tell us you and Merlin are getting a divorce? Is that what you're hinting at? I know you're hedging something but I'd never have thought it would be something like this.

Apparently so. At least, definitely in this instance. Also when I first met you. Booze a contributing factor both times, among other things. Jeezus. I can't even fucking imagine how hard that is. I lost my shit completely with Merlin just being ill for a couple of days. Justin must feel like he's losing his mind. He's still not mobilising himself?

What?! NO. We're not getting divorced. Bloody hell. Just chill until I meet with you guys. I don't want to have to repeat everything a billion times to different people.

Oh, yes. I remember that rather well. Are you even supposed to have booze with your meds? I haven't spoken to him. Not many people have. He gets really agitated when he's in information overload or shuts down completely. I think he's been alternating between both, from what Reecy says. Not yet. He's only started physical therapy. It'll take a lot to regain strength and recondition. But you get that more than most.

I had to ask! Even if it's offensive. You guys have been through a lot. Okay, I'll stop grilling you. I stand by my offer I made when I signed you up, you can tell me to STFU and FO any time you need, I won't take it personally. Sometimes, it's a manager's job to get up in the faces of our clients and sometimes our clients just aren't in the mood. I never want to disrespect that. You're a friend more than just a client.

Big hard no but sometimes, it's way too easy to fuck up. Been doing it a lot lately. Shouldn't you be over there with Reecy? You guys are his big sisters in every way but blood.

I know and I appreciate the care and concern. I love you. That's why I signed you. You had my back with that fucking bearding contract when no one else did and I'd have never reached out to Merlin again without your help. I don't need you to STFU and FO, I just need you guys to chill and wait for a few days until we can meet.

So, I take your sojourn into boozeville again this time was as fun an chaotic as it was when I met you and when you decided to rescue Merlin from your Burden in Iowa that time? IIRC, on top of almost projectile vomiting everywhere, you were quite the drunk bitch both those previous times. This time, I don't think surplus people can help much with them both still in the ICU. Reec only got in to see him because the Clinical Nurse Manager is Mark's ex and only because Jus was borderline to a psychotic episode and Mark was out-of-action. Familiarity can help him when he's that unwell. I needed to be here for you returning to work anyway.

Do you have days where you wonder WTF you were thinking signing headstrong fag hags as the three most prominent members of your team? Monty looks all innocent damn, she can be scarier than me some days. We're chill. Worried, but chill. We know you're anything but with Merlin sick, so it's our job to be for you.

Pretty sure Merlin contemplated putting Mark on speed dial in case he needs a quickie divorce, even if just briefly. I don't remember a thing but I feel like I've kind of been missing the mark on the whole husband thing for awhile now. He's deservedly calling me out on it but I don't actually realise what I'm doing until he does. Which isn't right or fair on him. To say I need to get my shit together is an understatement. Yeah, but I'm probably going to need to put things on hold for a bit. You should go, even just to touch base for a few days. Go, I'll pay for your trip.

I'm told that if your cycles ever sycn up, I'm doomed. But no. I think I've got the best team in the world and I've never been happier. I know it's not an easy gig.

Never. He adores you, even when you're being a pain in the ass bitch. I'm sure he's just weary to be on the receiving end of it after everything. Shit, B. No, I can't let you do that. Anyway, even if you pause things, my job still continues because you've already kicked things off with your return. I can't get in the way over there.

Oh, baby, are you doomed. So far, so good, though. You're, hand's down, one of the easiest celebs to work I've ever met and I can say that as someone who used to be the complete opposite.

I know he is but that apparently wasn't enough to prevent me doing it at least two more times since then, to the point he quit buffering his frustration and just basically outright chewed me out on it. We're a post-pandemic lockdown society. That you need to be here to do that job is bullshit and you know it. But okay. Just know, the offer will indefinitely stand and I don't need any notice if you want to take me up on it.

Do I get any sort of warning if you happen to be nearing syncing up or is that girls' business only? Do you miss the other life? The Broadway set, the acting, the being a front-facing celeb? I always wonder if I would if I chose to retire.

Dude. Why are you suddenly so basic when it comes to your marriage? You and Merlin always had such a rhythm. I'm envious of how easily you vibed from the start. I've never had that with anyone. Let me have this Team Brandon meeting first before I decide to jump ship to Oz. I know there's something you're not saying and I wouldn't be doing the job I promised if I wasn't on had if you needed help with it.

Hell, no, bud. That would be cheating. You might need to put in our contracts a promise we won't try to hand you your balls in a handbasket if you're being a diva bitch, though. Not that I have seen you do that. Sarcastic salty bitch sometimes, but not a diva. Well, with Jus, I have the best of both worlds. I'm back in the thick of the Footloose crowd again, so still involved with the Broadway scene. But I don't miss being a hustling celeb, which is what I was. I only ever had fame because I played Justin's love interest. I le it all go to my head and I don't like the person it made me. I let the hunger for it outshine my talent. I prefer being behind the scenes. Way more than I thought I would. But I do miss performing.

There's a reason. I just can't say why yet, Aut. I'm sorry. It'll make sense once we get Merlin home from hospital and I can meet with you guys. Our marriage isn't on the rocks or anything. Not even close. We're just having a rough patch with things out of our control getting in the way and disrupting that rhythm you're talking about.

Yeah, but Justin's perceived 'diva' streak is because he's extremely talented and has a lot of creative control over his work. Which he got to by proving he could walk the walk, so to speak. It's different for me. I have some creative input into the character but mostly, I get the script and perform. Job done. I don't need to be particular or sink extra focus into creating from scratch like Justin does. I have musical talent but I don't write music. Never have. I'm free to be a sarcastic salty bitch when there's something I think doesn't work and it's up to someone else to make the final decisions. The difficult thing is, I'm not the same person anymore that I was before I got cancer and nearly died. Everything in my life is different now. For the better. I'm trying to work out how that's supposed to translate to my work and job. It's proving harder than I anticipated. I'm realising I can't just pick up where I left off. I have to start all over again. I'm not even sure I'm comfortable showing my body on screen anymore like I did but it's in my contract, so I'll have to get my shit together. Why don't you do some bit parts here and there? You're a really talented dancer, you could get work. You should've waste talent like that.

I think Oly is going to be supremely relieved your marriage isn't on the rocks. She didn't want you guys to pop her celebrity divorce PR strategy cherry. All couples have those patches, especially when shit out of their control is pwning them.

Smooshie does his diva streak SO WELL that we can't really spite him it. Seriously, though, it's an ongoing joke we bug him about but he gives as good as he gets. The only time I ever saw him lose his shit about something not really relevant or justified was when he was unwell and having an episode, he apologised as soon as he was feeling more stable. It's always been such a privilege to see him work and I deserved him ghosting me when I took it for granted and treated him like shit. Also deserved my ex-fiancé cancelling our engagement and me. Fame can so easily go to your head. How come you see some immune to that? The showrunners know all that, babe. They meant it when they said they want to work with you closely integrating back into things how you need, and how what you've been through will inevitably affect how you play Saxon now. His absence in the show is for different reasons, of course, but you're a method actor. It's how you work. I think I've blacklisted myself in the business as an actress. It would be a struggle to even get auditions.

Oh, she'd love to orchestrate a good toxic PR divorce. Thankfully, it won't be mine. My current PR strategy is going to be extremely boring and vague until I figure out how the fuck to juggle shit again.

All us performers have those moments. It's only a problem when we let it define us. You learnt from that. That's all that matters. I'm not immune to it, I'm just not much of a fan of celebrity culture. My experience in the industry being kept in the closet tarnished it. I'd rather live on the peripheral of, just as much as I need to be there to keep the fans and the show's PR team happy. With all the connections you have? You'd get offers for roles without needing auditions, hon.

[ TEXT ] To Brandon @ signofthetimes

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