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musthavebeenloveWho: Will Jackson and Justin Campbell with Sasha Stanford
What: Work-in-Progress
Where: Casa de Campbell, NYC
When: After this
Will was nervous, but as soon as he saw that Justin Liked his post on Facebook, he somehow knew it was a turning point. Even if he and Justin had a complete emotional detachment after their breakup, he still knew that music spoke to Justin in ways no one could truly understand. It wasn’t up to anyone to understand it either. Justin’s brain had this amazing way of compartmentalising music into a safely locked box in his soul, away from the damaging force of his mental illness. He didn’t even understand it himself, but even on his worst days, Justin’s musical talent still shone through. He could play songs from the top of his head and his repertoire of lyrics was unbelievable. He could sing and play countless songs just from memory, and he learned to play songs by listening to them or watching them being performed rather than reading the music. He could read and write music, of course. He could also train people how to sing properly, but he couldn’t explain how he could do it. He never been able to, he always just said he could from a young age and couldn’t remember actually learning.
Justin’s dad believed it was dissociation. When Justin’s brain got so exhausted and drained of fighting itself, it needed a timeout. It could shut down, black things out. He might seem like he’s in a daze, other times he might do things on autopilot, not remembering he did them a few minutes before. He had large gaps of time in his past where he remembered nothing, yet still, it didn’t black out the worst of the worst. After their breakup, Will lay awake many nights thinking about Justin, wondering if he had dissociated any part of their relationship, blocked out all the bad bits. It wasn’t until he got back to New York and spoke to Justin that he realised Justin hadn’t blocked out any of it. He remembered every ounce of pain Will’s action - or non actions - had caused him.
( Coming back to New York had been a shock to Will’s system... )
LOG, COMPLETE
What: Work-in-Progress
Where: Casa de Campbell, NYC
When: After this
Will was nervous, but as soon as he saw that Justin Liked his post on Facebook, he somehow knew it was a turning point. Even if he and Justin had a complete emotional detachment after their breakup, he still knew that music spoke to Justin in ways no one could truly understand. It wasn’t up to anyone to understand it either. Justin’s brain had this amazing way of compartmentalising music into a safely locked box in his soul, away from the damaging force of his mental illness. He didn’t even understand it himself, but even on his worst days, Justin’s musical talent still shone through. He could play songs from the top of his head and his repertoire of lyrics was unbelievable. He could sing and play countless songs just from memory, and he learned to play songs by listening to them or watching them being performed rather than reading the music. He could read and write music, of course. He could also train people how to sing properly, but he couldn’t explain how he could do it. He never been able to, he always just said he could from a young age and couldn’t remember actually learning.
Justin’s dad believed it was dissociation. When Justin’s brain got so exhausted and drained of fighting itself, it needed a timeout. It could shut down, black things out. He might seem like he’s in a daze, other times he might do things on autopilot, not remembering he did them a few minutes before. He had large gaps of time in his past where he remembered nothing, yet still, it didn’t black out the worst of the worst. After their breakup, Will lay awake many nights thinking about Justin, wondering if he had dissociated any part of their relationship, blocked out all the bad bits. It wasn’t until he got back to New York and spoke to Justin that he realised Justin hadn’t blocked out any of it. He remembered every ounce of pain Will’s action - or non actions - had caused him.
( Coming back to New York had been a shock to Will’s system... )
LOG, COMPLETE