@ muserevival | 105.3. Private Diary

[zedblaze]

HERE @ muserevival

Time Heals

I don't know how much more of this I can take. I don't even know what the 'this' is that I mean. Is it the PEP, or is it life in general? I don't know. The lines are blurred. Is all this a sign that I should have just followed my gut instinct back then and ended it, rather than running? Everything that crosses my mind has a question mark hanging over it like a dark cloud.

( Is it possible that you can just run out of fight? That you just get so exhausted from running and fighting that you can't go on anymore? They say time heals, but I'm starting to think that's all a farce... )

"Bloodstained heart..."

[thankfuckforlife]

Who: Richie Jameson with Zed Blaze and Caleb Leary
What: Running out of fight
Where: Zed's place
When: After THIS

"Richie... where's your mom?"

"I don't know. Off doing mom things. She forgot her phone."

"Fuck."

"Wait, what's wrong?"

"I just... need her help..."

"What sort of help? Where are you?"

"At home. Don't worry."

"But Zed--"

The line was abruptly cut off. Zed had hung up. Richie looked at his mom's cell phone in his hand with a frown. He quickly hit the recall button, but Zed's phone went directly to voicemail. It was maybe a beat or two of hesitation for Richie before he put his mom's phone back down on the kitchen bench and bounded over to grab his backpack up off the floor by the sofa. He was waiting for Adrian to call to tell him he was on his way, but there was just something in Zed's voice.

( Zed never asked for help... )

COMPLETE

"Because I'm only human, and I bleed when I fall down."

[pullmysteth]

Who: Riley Bryant with Zed Blaze
What: Emergency Intervention
Where: ER, Mount Sinai
When: After THIS

Riley had dealt with many, many patients who had just attempted suicide. Professionally, he knew how to face those hard cases. This one, though, it was hitting him quite deeply and personally. So much so that one of the other physicians on duty that night asked him if he wanted her to take Zed Blaze's case. He might have taken her up on it if it was just another face in the crowd, but Richie said this guy was like family to him. Riley knew the importance of family.

( Zed was a mess when he arrived by ambulance... )

COMPLETE

"You know that I could use somebody..."

[bemydownfall]

Who? Caleb Leary and Sally Jennings
What? Face to face
When? After Caleb's text conversation with Nick
Where? Mt. Sinai, outside Zed's room

Nick's advice had stuck with Caleb, and he'd found himself standing in the hallway near Zed's room, hoping that someone would come out of the room or go in and be able to tell him how Zed was doing. There was still an overwhelming amount of guilt. How could he ask someone who loved Zed how he was doing when he'd been there... he had fucking been in the same house when Zed had cut his wrists? If he was any kind of friend, he would've known. He would've done something to stop it... something to help him. This was bullshit. He'd let him hurt himself. He hadn't stopped it. And the fact that he couldn't have, even if he'd wanted to wasn't doing anything to sway his feelings of guilt.

It was so heavy, in fact, that he was seriously about to walk away... until a pretty blonde girl was walking out of the room with tears in her eyes, and as much as he wanted to walk away and not bring more pain, he had listened to that voice long before... the one that told him that his absence would be less painful than his presence. It had cost him Zoran. He wasn't going to make that mistake again. So he stopped her then and there with a deep breath. "Hi," he said to her softly. "I'm... I'm a friend of Zed's, and I'm really sorry to bother you... I just... I wanted to ask how he's doing."

@ muserevival // 105.2. Quote

[givemesomelove]

HERE @ muserevival

"Sometimes life is gonna hit you in the head with a brick. Don't lose faith." - Steve Jobs

Once Sally's job was based in the City, there was an executive family decision that she, instead of their parents, would be listed as Zed's in-cast-of-emergency contact. Brett was currently living with their grandparents in Boston while he finished college, having decided to take a couple of years out to travel before starting. That was where the family had been during the week, Sally included, for their grandparents 40th wedding anniversary. Though, Zed had been doing his elusive/evasive routine the last couple of weeks so no one pushed him to come along. Sometimes, he just needed space.

( By some sheer stroke of luck, Sally had come home from Boston early... )