"Just gimme some truth..."

[texasbadboy]

Who? Garrett Holt and Fin Bennett
What? Tough love from the BFF
When? Thursday night
Where? Mt. Sinai

Garrett was thankful as hell that he'd made the move to New York when he did, because he would've been crazy worried about Fin finding out that his best friend had gone through surgery if he'd found out over Facebook from somebody else. It was nice to be able to come by, check in on Fin and make sure he was okay. Granted, when he'd first arrived, the other boy was sleeping, so Garrett passed the time quietly, playing games on his phone for a while. He couldn't leave until he talked to Fin, because the last thing he wanted was his best friend finding out that he'd slept with a guy, and not just any guy, but a guy he didn't like, from Facebook.

But Fin woke up groggily after about half an hour of casual phone gaming, and Garrett quickly tucked the device into his pocket, meeting his best friend's gaze. "Hey, dude," he told him with a small, warm smile. "That must've been one hell of a nap. How're you feeling?"

[ FACEBOOK ]

[niceguysfinishlast]

Random hook up was exactly what I fucking needed tonight. Cute Irish accent too.

[ FACEBOOK ]

[amareladanza]

I want to go home.

[ FACEBOOK ]

[whatabuzz]

Root Beet Floats @ Atlantic City! \o/ Love me some fun times.

[ FACEBOOK ] with Rhys Meyer

[multiplelove]

Well. I need to ask dudes to send me selfies more often.

[ PRIVATE JOURNAL ]

[likefatherlikeson]

Fri July 8th, 2016

In a week, I turn 17. 16 felt like the longest year of my life. I don't think people realise I had just turned 15 when I came to find Dad, or just how fucked up I was when I did. Some people know the censored version, but most just know I went through some bad shit sometimes before I came to New York. And that's okay. That's how I need it to be, because I don't want it to forever be that thing that everyone thinks about when they look at me. Because that's human nature. Especially when it comes to sexual abuse of a kid. I won't even say that out loud. I did - once - for a court statement. That's it. That's all it can be.

It came up in a session with Hunter before he got sick and had to stay away from work. He looked sick that last session, and even though I told him, he just said he was tired. I know that go-to excuse. I use it all the time without even thinking. Still, it was the first time it came up during this admission to this new place that still feels weird. I know it's helping me, but I don't want to be here. I'm getting better, but like Hunter reminded me, that's not a static thing. With bipolar or mental illness or past trauma, you don't just 'get better' like when you have the flu and you're well again. 'Getting better' is a lifelong thing.

( Lifelong. How long is lifelong? I didn't want it to be long at all a few weeks ago... )

[ FACEBOOK ]

[ifeelthelove]

Today is a day I need to go out and remind myself how pretty flowers and sunshine are.