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Feb. 11th, 2015
"I won't worry my life away."
Feb. 11th, 2015 10:48 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
tomorrowneverknowsWho: Billy Willis with Ajay Bellerose
What: Painful necessity
Where: Home
When: Tuesday night
It was hard for Billy to maintain an awareness of what was going on with the rest of the world right now. It was taking all his rapidly depleting stocks of strength and energy to process what he was dealing with. It had hit from out of the blue, so fast and without warning that no one had really accepted it yet. Billy was right at the top of that list too.
That night, he was so sick. He was sitting on the bathroom floor hugging the toilet bowl while he threw up over and over again. The first day of chemo hadn’t been that bad. It went smoothly and managed to lull him into a false sense of security. When the chemo started to be administered, he discovered he was holding his breath to the point he made himself woozy and nearly passed out. The nurse assigned to him was amazing, probably having done this hundreds of times before. She calmed him down and got them all freezer pops which they encouraged Billy to suck on during the treatment because he would start to feel parched and dehydrated when the chemicals started to enter his system.
Ajay had turned his down, and Jude - trying his hardest to be the best big brother he could throughout this - had eaten Ajay’s for him. Though, considering Ajay got the red one and Jude used to literally crash tackle Billy for the red ones when they were kids, it wasn’t like it was a desperate sacrifice on his part. Billy felt when the chemo really started to pump through his system. He was on a bed, he had plenty of blankets and pillows to keep him comfortable, there was a huge TV, internet access, tea, coffee, food if he was hungry. If he didn’t have his veins speared with IV needles, this could almost be a luxury holiday.
Almost.
It was a four hour dose for Billy. The nurse recommended he try something light to eat because patients seemed to go better with something in their stomach. He was brought a sandwich and ate half of it. Jude stepped in once again and polished off the other half. What was a big brother for after all? Jude was a given for Billy. He was always there. He was his rock. There was no question that he would be here for him through this crap, however long it needed to go on for. Ajay’s presence was the huge impact for Billy. He wanted Ajay there, he needed him there. Ajay sitting holding his hand for the entirety of the 4 hours made all the difference in the world. Despite knowing he shouldn’t, Billy felt like he was letting Ajay down. He had promised Ajay so deeply that he would be there by his side to help him through the his fight with the very destructive eating disorder. Billy felt guilty, and Ajay knew he did.
( It was a lot for them to work through... )
NARRATIVE, COMPLETE
What: Painful necessity
Where: Home
When: Tuesday night
It was hard for Billy to maintain an awareness of what was going on with the rest of the world right now. It was taking all his rapidly depleting stocks of strength and energy to process what he was dealing with. It had hit from out of the blue, so fast and without warning that no one had really accepted it yet. Billy was right at the top of that list too.
That night, he was so sick. He was sitting on the bathroom floor hugging the toilet bowl while he threw up over and over again. The first day of chemo hadn’t been that bad. It went smoothly and managed to lull him into a false sense of security. When the chemo started to be administered, he discovered he was holding his breath to the point he made himself woozy and nearly passed out. The nurse assigned to him was amazing, probably having done this hundreds of times before. She calmed him down and got them all freezer pops which they encouraged Billy to suck on during the treatment because he would start to feel parched and dehydrated when the chemicals started to enter his system.
Ajay had turned his down, and Jude - trying his hardest to be the best big brother he could throughout this - had eaten Ajay’s for him. Though, considering Ajay got the red one and Jude used to literally crash tackle Billy for the red ones when they were kids, it wasn’t like it was a desperate sacrifice on his part. Billy felt when the chemo really started to pump through his system. He was on a bed, he had plenty of blankets and pillows to keep him comfortable, there was a huge TV, internet access, tea, coffee, food if he was hungry. If he didn’t have his veins speared with IV needles, this could almost be a luxury holiday.
Almost.
It was a four hour dose for Billy. The nurse recommended he try something light to eat because patients seemed to go better with something in their stomach. He was brought a sandwich and ate half of it. Jude stepped in once again and polished off the other half. What was a big brother for after all? Jude was a given for Billy. He was always there. He was his rock. There was no question that he would be here for him through this crap, however long it needed to go on for. Ajay’s presence was the huge impact for Billy. He wanted Ajay there, he needed him there. Ajay sitting holding his hand for the entirety of the 4 hours made all the difference in the world. Despite knowing he shouldn’t, Billy felt like he was letting Ajay down. He had promised Ajay so deeply that he would be there by his side to help him through the his fight with the very destructive eating disorder. Billy felt guilty, and Ajay knew he did.
( It was a lot for them to work through... )
NARRATIVE, COMPLETE
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Feb. 11th, 2015 11:30 pmprivateinvestigationsSpent all fucking night tailing a shit fucking lead, and now I'm in a bad fucking mood with a nose full of fucking snot. Cuntballs.