"When the night has come and the land is dark, and the moon is the only light we see."

[theateroflove]

Who: Tori Kingston, Sasha Stanford and Zeke Wyatt + Squad
What: Chilling Out & Enjoying Memories
Where: Lakehouse, Vermont
When: After this

After the memorial when everyone had finished watching the wreaths and lanterns float across the lake, Cassidy had ushered Tori to one of the nearest cushy beanbag and unceremoniously planted him in it and told him to rest and relax. She brought him a mug of hot chocolate with marshmallows (which were also purple, Justin didn't miss a thing in his planning) and sat with him for a little bit to make sure he was okay. Probably double-checking he wasn't about to keel over and start bleeding and vomiting all over the place like the night he lost his shit at the neighbour's barbecue. Other than a lingering headache, a little dull nausea, and some wooziness if he stood too long, he was on the mend. He could've done without any of that crap, but he had to learn the hard way that there was nothing simple about grieving.

Soon, Sasha had come over and pulled another beanbag up beside him while Justin sat nearby playing the bongo drums and started to sing the classic song, Stand By Me, which was one of Andi's favourites. When Sasha asked him how he was feeling, Tori gave him a reassuring smile. "Better. Kind of done-in with all the emotion and still feeling a little rough with cracking my head on the pavement, but I think better than I have in awhile." He looked back over to Justin. "Did you give him a list of the songs she loved? I didn't know he could play the bongos. He blows me away, I feel so honoured to have the chance to work with him. Cas adores him. I love that he takes care of her and she can trust him to confide in. I can't believe he did all this for Ands and he barely knew her."

Comments

[beautifulday]

Sasha was still letting his gaze travel over to where the wreaths were still floating on the lake in the distance. They looked so beautiful and Justin had made sure there were plenty. Along with the fairylights and the glow from the fire crackling away, it all looked so beautiful. "You'll crash hard tonight, trust me. I always do when all this creeps up on me and gets overwhelming. But it's better to let yourself feel it. Unless, of course, you and Cas stay up late comforting each other..." He sipped his own mint hot chocolate and gave Tori a smirk. Then he laughed softly. "I didn't have to. Andi told him all her favourite music that one time she met him. For this sort of stuff, he has a photographic memory. Not just bongos, he plays normal drums too. I think he can play most sorts of instruments. Except maybe wind instruments. No, wait. He plays saxophone."

[playingtowin]

"Oh, man. Are you telling me I'm officially the last virgin? First they run out of marshmallows and now this. Fuck my life," Zeke joked as he came and sat on the pile of pillows near Sasha. It was more of an ice-breaker than anything. He was half expecting Tori to get up and excuse himself. He didn't even care about the marshmallows. He couldn't eat dairy and what was hot chocolate without marshmallows? He thought all the dairy substitutes for milk tasted shit so he had been sticking to tea. "Like any of us had any doubt J was a good blower. He looks so cool playing the bongos. I wanna learn. Think he'd teach me?"

He hesitated then, feeling nervous as he zipped his hoodie up a little further and stuffed his hands in his pockets. "Tor, I don't know if there's any easy way to say this, but... have I done or said something to upset you? I just feel like you've been avoiding me ever since you moved to New York. If you guys just want to chill together, I can leave. I don't mind..." Even if he really did because it would hurt like hell.

[theateroflove]

Tori only had a few moments to process what Zeke was saying before he got to that bit. No real time to get embarrassed about Sasha teasing him about sex or laughing at Zeke's joke about blowing. Not even the chance for the curiosity about oral sex to get the better of him and be tempted to ask Sasha about it to learn more. Not that he was sure Sasha would openly discuss that, being Ace. Sash but his subjective sex life wasn't something he discussed in exceptional detail, Tori had noticed. Zeke's question hit him out of the blue and the reflexive urge was to try to deny it, but he knew he couldn't. "I--" he began but then hung his head and bit his lip. "I just want you to know that I didn't really realise I was until... shit hit the fan. It's not what it seems. It's not you I'm avoiding, Z. It's just... just... fuck, I don't even know how to start."

[beautifulday]

"Tori...?" Sasha had no idea what was happening. He tried to think whether he had noticed Tori avoiding Zeke but it was so hard to know for him considering everything he had been dealing with with Justin, he couldn't know for sure. What he did know what was that this didn't sound like Tori at all and he was sure Zeke had to have been mistaken. Until Tori replied and it sounded like Zeke wasn't mistaken at all. Zeke was an amazing guy. He was kind and funny, why would anyone want to avoid him? Let alone Tori? He looked at Zeke who definitely looked and sounded hurt here, so this wasn't a misunderstanding. "A-Are you saying you're avoiding Z because he has cancer? Tori, you don't have to deal with this stuff alone."

tag will

[likefatherlikeson]

Justin had his hand resting on top of Fin's bongo drums, fingertips tapping the drum skin lightly as he watched something playing out between Sash, Zeke and Tori. It looked pretty serious but considering how emotional a day it was, he wasn't surprised. But Zeke seemed really upset and Justin worried about him. He knew he was in good hands with Sasha, though. And Tori. There was just probably a lot of stirred up feelings intermingling the grief of the day. Zeke had to deal with this in a whole different way to anyone else because he had the very thing that killed Andi in his veins right now. Out of the corner of his eye, he saw Will but he quickly handed Fin his drums back and grabbed Will's hand as he passed. "Don't. Just let them go. It's none of our business yet. They'll take care of him, you don't have to worry. Sit and eat." He tugged Will's hand to pull him towards the next bean bag over.

[musthavebeenlove]

The fact Justin wasn't going to Sasha probably said a lot. Will had been watching them here on this trip and they were so intuned to each other, the TLC was a constant two-way street. Even if Justin was the one freshly out of hospital, he still seemed to understand Sasha needed taking care of with what was happening. Will felt strange at the memorial because he didn't know Andi, but he felt as if he did. His stomach hurt when he saw Zeke break down the first time and it took him by surprise because right up to that minute, Zeke seemed composed. Quiet and weary but holding it together. It was just proof that looks could be deceiving and how people sometimes seemed on the outside was nothing like they were on the inside. That was where he fucked up with Justin in their relationship and there was no way he wasn't going to learn from all those lessons. He wanted to help Zeke through this but he also didn't want to stick his nose in where it wasn't wanted or prematurely before it was needed. He and Zeke were in their very early days, they were still learning each other. Even if it was with a little reluctance, he nodded and sat down beside Justin, reaching to grab a handful of Doritos, offering some to Justin. "I feel like an interloper. I don't want to upset him more than he is. Did you know Andi? Did you meet her? I guess I just assumed you knew her before you met Sash for some reason, with the Make-a-Wish thing."

[likefatherlikeson]

Justin smiled and declined the Doritos with a wave of his hand. "I can't. Still on mostly liquids. My life is an exciting banquet of yoghurt, jello, Gummi Bears and tea." He pulled his shirt up and pointed to the port for the tube feeding he needed a little longer before they saw how he went on a normal diet. "Don't feel like an interloper. You're Zeke's boyfriend. You belong here as much as any of us. Trust me, it means the world to them we can be here and do this for Andi. I only met her in person once, and it was I after I met Sash. Her wish wasn't the standard routine because she defaulted it to Sash and, well, I was still in Sydney when they contact my agent. She wrote me letters before she passed away, though. Her mom gave them to me when we went to stay with them for the weekend. It was awhile after she died, though. Sash couldn't face visiting her at the cemetery."

tag - fin! <3

[wordsofwisdom]

This was one of those moments Shannon wished he had working legs. There was no way in hell he could get up that slope back to the house without being pushed in his wheelchair. Zeke wasn't just crying, he was sobbing his heart out like he had been earlier at the pier. This was so hard for Shannon because Zeke rarely cried like this. Even when he had been told his cancer was back, he hadn't broken down sobbing like this. Everything was probably feeling too much with the painful reminders that cancer had taken Andi. Shannon remembered Zeke's first battle. To start with, he had been sicker than Andi and probably more likely to die than she was. Even though Shannon was in a coma at the time following his accident, his family told him Zeke had been really sick when he was first diagnosed and it was in the cancer unit he was admitted to where he met Andi and Sasha. "Shit, should I go to him? What the hell are they saying to him that's upsetting him this much?" he fretted to Fin helplessly. "He's going to make himself sick."

[truthrunswild]

Fin put his arm around Shannon's shoulders and gave him a kiss. "It's a memorial, baby. I don't know if they'd be so much saying something to upset him as he's just upset in general because the person we're having the memorial for died of cancer. Zeke's not having the best time on this trip. You know how you feel on your bad days. I know how I feel on mine. Just everything feels crappy. Try not to stress. I know that's easier said than done but they'll take care of him. Just see how he goes. I mean, it would feel pretty awful if any of these guys passed away. I can't even imagine trying to get through a memorial like that. I feel pretty lucky I've never had anyone close to me die." He offered Shannon some M&Ms. "Are you okay?"

[wordsofwisdom]

Shannon nodded, giving Fin an apologetic smile. "You're right, it's a bad day for him. I guess I just hate seeing him have them because I wish he didn't have to when he already did so much time with this horrible thing. Tonight was pretty fucking hard, I didn't realise it would rock me like it has. Like a reality check about Zeke having cancer again. You don't want to think about one of the people you love most in the whole world dying but I couldn't not tonight. I'm okay, just shaken, I guess." He rested his head on Fin's shoulder and watched the fire crackling and popping, Brody and Jett sitting by it roasting marshmallows. "I'm happy he's got Will, you know. I know at first I was a bit of a bitch about it. At least, to anyone but Zeke. I didn't want him to think I had an issue with it but he called me out on it. I just didn't want him to get hurt."

tag ainsley

[amareladanza]

Even not knowing Andi personally, tonight gave Harry a lot to think about. He had spent the last few days texting Nick back and forwards about where his head was, and his big brother's over-reaching message seemed to be trust his gut and follow his heart. It was easier said than done, of course, but at least it was a starting point. Or something like that. It was sobering to be at a memorial for someone who was their age and it sounded like she was one of those amazingly good people in this world who should never have died young. Even knowing she was dying, she was still doing good things and sending the messages that life was too short. So, he got up from where he was sitting near the fire and went over to Ainsley, who was looking at something on his phone. "Hey... do you wanna go for a walk by the lake?"

[groovykindoflove]

Even if Ainsley didn't know Andi and didn't even really know Tori, he felt really sad at this memorial. He wished he had known her because it sounded like she was a lot of fun. But cancer was nasty. It was the demon no one wanted to catch up with them and Ainsley's chest hurt when he watched Sash, Zeke and Tori crying. It was like this private moment between the three of them but they had invited everyone else to share it with that. That was so special. That was what dealing with the tough things in life was all about. Ainsley had learned that loud and clear recently. He had just been sitting off to the side listening to the music and watching what looked to be a tense exchange happening between Sasha, Zeke and Tori but he couldn't hear what was being said. Whatever it was, Zeke was really upset and Tori didn't look too far off it either. Then Harry came over and Ainsley looked up at him in surprise. He got up, brushing the grass from his jeans with a smile. This was an unexpected surprise. "Yeah. I'd like that. Have you eaten? I don't want you getting woozy again."

[amareladanza]

Harry laughed and nodded, waving his hand. "I've eaten. Don't worry. The showbiz types really know how to put on a good spread and lucky for me, the one who arranged this completely catered for a diabetic. Just have to go easy on the sugarfree gummi worms. We all know what that can lead to." It was such a nice night and he didn't really know what he was trying to achieve here. Maybe just progress or reconnecting with Ainsley without any anger or confusion. Like old times. "It's such a nice night and the lanterns look amazing on the water. She's got to be up there looking down thinking her BFF is going to marry a hell of a party planner. It's kind of nice that she's brought us all together like this, relaxing and enjoying the place."

tag asher!

[innocenteyes]

Amarlie had been sitting with Layla, Maryanne and Cas flicking through some photo albums Justin had somehow arranged to have here of Sasha's time growing up with Andi and Tori. Sasha was seriously be most adorable little kid. He had been one of those who looked tiny all his childhood with blonde curly hair that were borderline ringlets and had apparently had some exceptional growth spurts with puberty because he was now quite tall. He and Justin both were, they certainly towered over Amarlie but she had always been a short-ass. Now, she came over to where Asher was sitting by the fire nursing a bottle of water and nearby, Zen and Blaize were making out on one of the beanbags. "Okay, there's a bet going with the girls. They want to know if you guys feel jealous if two of you are making out and one of you isn't included. Give me your polyamorous wisdom, Obi Wan. You don't look jealous. You look... constipated. What is with that face, sweetie?" she asked, pinching his cheeks softly.

[shadowdays]

Asher scrunched his face up when he was getting his cheeks pinched and swatted her hands away. "Jealousy? Fuck, no. That's not how it works for us. I'm hot for watching them make out or fuck. At least, I would be if I didn't feel sick, shit." He leaned over nursing his stomach. Even the sight of the snack food was making him feel like he wanted to hurl. The last couple of days, he had started to feel human again after the evil hotdog of doom he was attacked by on the trip up here. This was so not fair. Surely it was someone else's turn. Not that he would wish this on any living human, even someone he vehemently disliked. "Hang on. How do they think it works? Like Sister Wives or some shit?"

[innocenteyes]

"Still? Ash, sweetie..." Amarlie said in concern and put her hand on his forehead to see if he had a fever. This didn't seem like a classic case of food poisoning. She had been talking to Zenith at breakfast and he said that Asher had bounced back and mostly he had just been tired the last few days but was eating normally again. "How sick do you feel? Zen said you stopped throwing up a couple of days ago. No, not Sister Wives. I guess they were just more trying to conceptualise it. Whether you just all have sex together like a threesome or you take turns with each other, like Blaize and Zen are doing right now. You know what a monogamous brain can be like, we just assume jealousy is a default or some shit. Are you not joining in because it's not your turn or because you feel sick?"

tag sash!

[likefatherlikeson]

It was never not going to be a draining and surreal night. Ever since the suggestion of a memorial for Andi at the lake was suggestion, Justin knew it would be hard for Sasha. He worried about him, of course he did. Even if he was trying to recover from another terrible episode of his mental illness, it didn't negate his care and concern for the guy he was in love with. It didn't matter how strong he knew Sasha was. That, too, didn't negate inevitable pain and sadness. Justin knew this was time Sasha needed with Tori and Zeke to regroup, being the only ones who knew Andi before she passed away. Justin felt like he knew her just as well but this memorial was more for them than anyone else. He sat back and rested, chatting on and off to his friends while he waited for Sash to take all the time he needed with Zeke and Tori. When he saw him exiting the house, he got up and met him at the end of the path, wrapping his arms around Sasha's waist and giving him a soft kiss. Then he brushed Sash's hair back from his face. "You okay, baby? You need anything?"

[beautifulday]

Sasha smiled seeing Justin and more than welcomed the kiss and cuddle. It was exactly what he needed but he didn't have any intentions of pulling Justin away if he had been chatting to other people. Tonight was about coming together as a team and supporting each other. It didn't matter that not everyone had met Andi, they still cared about her as if they had. "I'm doing okay. I'm pretty sure I'll sleep like a log tonight but I don't really want the night to end yet." He caught his lip between his teeth and glanced over to the pier. "Want to come down to the pier with me? It's such a nice night, I just want to spend a little time alone with you. Maybe we can listen to some music and talk? Zeke and Tori are okay. So much more to all this than just Andi's death. Zeke being sick again and what that might mean."

[likefatherlikeson]

"We could..." Sasha pulled a photograph out of the pocket of his sweatpants and held it up for Sasha to see. "Or I thought we could go for a swim. I realised it was heated when I stuck my toe in earlier and the doctor said hydrotherapy would be good with my recovery. If you wet hair looks as adorable as it does in this picture, it'd pretty much be a win all around." Tori and Andi's mom had given Justin some photo albums that she thought Sasha might like to keep. One had loads of photos in it of Sasha, Andi and Tori when they were younger from their summers here at the lakehouse. Sasha and Andi were probably about eight or nine in the picture and they were floating on pool inflatables drinking bottles of Coke. Sasha's hair was on the longer side and drying a little in the sun and the curls had formed little ringlets around his face. "I thought we could take this one home and frame it, put it on our mantel with all the other family photos."

tag zeke

[canadianheart]

Even though Jett and Zeke had broken up and were now dating other people, Jett didn't ever want Zeke to think he didn't care about him. That wasn't the deal when they agreed to stay friends. It could've been an awkward situation but Jett's dad told him it would only be as awkward as they let it. They were wise words and Jett found them sticking in his head as he watched how distressed Zeke was that night. But he waited because he knew it wasn't his place to come to the rescue straight away. He knew Sasha and Tori would, and Will, when Zeke needed more than a caring shoulder to cry on. He had been taking some glasses up to the kitchen to stack in the dishwasher when Sasha came out and told him Zeke had wanted to go to bed after they had a big heart-to-heart. It seemed like the right time so Jett went up the hall to the ground floor bedrooms and knocked on the door of the room Zeke and Will were sharing. Will answered and he gave him a smile. "Hey, I just, um... I wanted to check on Zeke. Just to let him know I was thinking about him."

Will smiled back with an understanding nod. "He's still awake." He stepped aside for Jett to see Zeke propped up in the bed with a cup of tea. "Come in and have a chat. I was just going to go and let Shannon know he was okay."

[playingtowin]

As much as Zeke really wanted to camp outside in one of the amazing tents that had beds that looked so comfortable, he didn't want to be too far away from a bathroom. The stress left him with a crampy stomach but he knew it was just tension that had abated a lot since finally talking things out with Sasha and Tori. He felt a lot better than he had but it had left him tired and achy so he knew it was his body telling him he needed to be in bed to get some rest. Sasha made sure he was in Will's capable hands but he was surprised to find Jett had come to see him once he was lying down and finally letting himself unwind. He smiled when he saw Jett. "Hey. You didn't have to do that. It's nice to see you, though. Sorry, I didn't mean to make anyone worry. It's just been a pretty shitty night for me to navigate through. Do you want tea?" he offered, gesturing to the pot with cups over on the dresser.

[canadianheart]

Jett helped himself to some tea and came back to sit on the side of the bed beside Zeke. "You don't have to apologise to any of us, for any of it. Worry is what people who love you do, okay? It doesn't matter what sort of love it is. That doesn't dictate the rules." He sipped the tea and smiled at Zeke over the rim. "It was hard seeing you so upset and knowing I'm not the one to step in as first port of call anymore. I just wanted you to know that. We might not be dating but I still love you. I still care about you. I always will, Z. I wish you didn't have to be in so much pain, which is why I'm so glad you have Will. I think he might help break through that a little for you. Does he help? Get through the pain? I won't ask if you're happy. That's not fair on a day like today."

tag will!

[friendsforever]

Layla had been chilling around the fire with a few of the others, chatting and enjoying the music. It was such a sad event but Justin had done so well making it beautiful and everyone made sure it was full of love. Though with that came the sadness and it had been so hard seeing the boys break down like they had. She wasn't quite sure where everyone had dispersed to in the wake of the memorial but a lot would be worked through as it needed to be. She saw Will talking with Shannon for a little bit which was probably about Zeke. After they were done, Layla came up to Will before he went back inside and offered him a chocolate coin and a smile. "Penny for your thoughts? I thought, all things considered and how things have been progressing for you, you might want to talk? Old times sake." It had been a really long time since they just talked like they had so many times in the past.

[musthavebeenlove]

No matter how much things had settled and were moving forward for Will with Justin and their friends, things had still continued to be a little awkward with Layla. He knew that was mostly all on him. He had this sense that too much had changed between them and the way he treated her after all she did for him when he was fighting cancer meant that he didn't deserve his friendship. Now he was dating Zeke, his mindset had shifted a hell of a lot to places he was never sure he would have again. It meant a lot that she was extending the olive branch here again. This time, he knew it was time to leave the old water under the bridge. He laughed and took the coin. "You'd probably get the short end of the stick having to listen to all my thoughts. Talk about everything with Zeke, you mean? It's been a hard night."

[friendsforever]

"Never," Layla scoffed, giving a wave of her hand. Then she took his and pulled him over to the nearest pile of cushions. "I want you to tell me all about it. Don't forget, I've had some experience looking after someone with cancer. The poor darling is going through so much. So, how did things kick off with you two? I have a tiny bit of insider info via Maryanne. She and Sash have gotten close with them both singing back-up for Justin's charity work but I'd rather hear it from the horse's mouth. It's been a big step for you, getting back on the dating wagon. But you suit each other. I think it's sweet you're wanting to help take care of him. I don't want things to be awkward with us anymore. We've been through way too much as BFFs to let it all die in the ass."