dreamlikenewyork | "When the night has come and the land is dark, and the moon is the only light we see."

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"When the night has come and the land is dark, and the moon is the only light we see."

Who: Tori Kingston, Sasha Stanford and Zeke Wyatt + Squad
What: Chilling Out & Enjoying Memories
Where: Lakehouse, Vermont
When: After this

After the memorial when everyone had finished watching the wreaths and lanterns float across the lake, Cassidy had ushered Tori to one of the nearest cushy beanbag and unceremoniously planted him in it and told him to rest and relax. She brought him a mug of hot chocolate with marshmallows (which were also purple, Justin didn't miss a thing in his planning) and sat with him for a little bit to make sure he was okay. Probably double-checking he wasn't about to keel over and start bleeding and vomiting all over the place like the night he lost his shit at the neighbour's barbecue. Other than a lingering headache, a little dull nausea, and some wooziness if he stood too long, he was on the mend. He could've done without any of that crap, but he had to learn the hard way that there was nothing simple about grieving.

Soon, Sasha had come over and pulled another beanbag up beside him while Justin sat nearby playing the bongo drums and started to sing the classic song, Stand By Me, which was one of Andi's favourites. When Sasha asked him how he was feeling, Tori gave him a reassuring smile. "Better. Kind of done-in with all the emotion and still feeling a little rough with cracking my head on the pavement, but I think better than I have in awhile." He looked back over to Justin. "Did you give him a list of the songs she loved? I didn't know he could play the bongos. He blows me away, I feel so honoured to have the chance to work with him. Cas adores him. I love that he takes care of her and she can trust him to confide in. I can't believe he did all this for Ands and he barely knew her."

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"Not really still, more like again, I guess. I did, I was fine. I'm so freaking jinxed." Asher hastily pushed Amarlie's hand away again so Blaize and Zenith didn't see her fussing over him. He didn't want to worry them. He was glad he made it through the memorial ceremony without puking, though. It was Andi's day, she didn't need that nonsense. "It's not really any different to monogamy. There's just three of us. I like seeing them kiss and have sex with each other as much as I love them both doing it with me. Sometimes it's just two of us, or others it's three. There's no jealousy, I'm in love with both of them. I'm not joining in because I don't need to. And maybe a bit because my guts won't stop churning. Oh god, fuck my life..." He scrambled out of the beanbag and went over to the nearest tree with the back of his hand pressed to his mouth.

Amarlie jumped up and followed him. She stood by him and rubbed his back, leaning closer to analyse his face. "Hey, you're not pregnant, are you? Two baby daddies in the mix, the odds are stacked against you," she joked, though there was concern in voice about the fact Asher really was clearly unwell again. He looked peaky and wasn't usually the type to complain about anything unless it was genuine sickness. "You know, the least surprising thing in the whole world to me was you three falling in love. I didn't really understand what polyamory was before. That's how the conversation with my girls started. They wanted to know if I saw it coming. Blaize told me that he felt so lost when you and Zen started dating. So, my question is... why are you trying to hide from them that you're not feeling well again?"

A laughed escaped Asher but he didn't risk too much. He was so nauseous but he hoped it didn't eventuate into more puking. He was pretty sure he did enough of that to last at least the next decade of his quota. "Well, on the chance Arnie was right and dudes could get knocked up, my guys' trans biology wouldn't be able to pull it off, no matter how exceptional they are in bed." He crouched down, holding his stomach and trying to will it to stop ebbing and flowing closer and closer to emptying itself. "The age-old myth that two halves make a whole doesn't apply to us. I'm not saying Zen and I realised we were missing anything when there was only two of us in the relationship because we didn't. We only realised how right it was for three to make a whole. I don't want to worry them. I've already tainted this holiday with enough puke." He was actually worrying himself in knots which probably wasn't helping the stomach cramps. What if he had something awful like Zeke?

"N'aw, you'd be a cute preggo guy, Ashie," Amarlie teased, giving his hair a little ruffle. She could get away with that when he wasn't in supermodel picture-perfect mode. She crouched down with him, frowning in concern. "Is it pain or just feeling sick? Want me to come inside with you? You can lie down and stretch out a bit. But you know, they're going to bitchslap you if you're sick and don't tell them. You might not be two halves but you're three thirds and your relationship is no different to anything monogamous. They'll worry if you're not well and want to take care of you. You might just have a persistent bug, honey. Maybe it wasn't the hotdog at all. No one else is sick, though, so I don't think it's contagious. In the very least, Z and B would've caught it off you if it was." She brushed his hair back from his face and rubbed his back when she could see how much discomfort he was in. "At least we know it's not your appendix because you don't have one anymore."

"Speaking of... did you tell J about your miscarriage? I know you were stressing about it. But I also know you're relieved it happened. Sometimes, life takes decisions out of our hands. Like, seriously, if someone sat down with Zen, Blaize and me and asked why we weren't dating in a three-way, I probably would've wondered what the hell they were on about. The fact it just happened and made sense, it was like it was meant to be. You were worrying J would blame himself for it, weren't you?" Asher asked, giving her a faint smile. He knew her so well. It's cramps and nausea. It doesn't feel that different to appendicitis, you know. Maybe it grew back? Can it grow back? I think I'm going go take some Pepto. I don't want to hurl but maybe I'll feel better if I do."

It was a sobering question and a hard one. Amarlie kept rubbing Asher back but then stood and offered him both her hands to help him up. She wanted to take him inside to get the Pepto, knowing there was a bottle in the basket of supplies in the kitchen they brought along. Justin's grandmother from Sydney who was spending some time in New York while her husband went on a golfing tour in Scotland had packed things for every possible occasion from insect bites to diarrhoea to sunburn. As many of them as there was, just about everything had been used at some point. "I told him the other day. And he was incredible. We had a long talk and basically I have the best brother in the entire world. I know it was ultimately for the best. As sick as Jus has been, it's put a lot in perspective." She wrapped her arm around his waist. "C'mon, sickie. Let's get that Pepto into you. I don't think it can grow back. Tonsils can but I don't think tonsils give you stomach cramps. There's ginger ale too, it might help settle your stomach."

Asher's legs felt tired, like he had gone too hard on the treadmill. "You know, I think I feel a bit like I've got the flu. Maybe that's just it. Just achy and... blah. We were going to fuck so much on this trip, you know. We've all been so busy and I've been away on location shoots. Which was hard enough knowing you and your family were going through so much with J being hospitalised. How was Keegan with it all? I feel like I should've gotten to know him more by now, but it's a case in point with how crazy life has been." That was as good a description as he had. He sort of wanted to stay out here and hang with everyone but he just didn't feel good. Before she could have a chance to answer, he held his hand up and pulled away before he lost the little he managed to eat all over the grass at the base of the slope.

"Aw, sweetie," Amarlie murmured in sympathy. She pulled the hood of his hoodie down so he didn't get vomit on it and rubbed soft circles to his back. She looked over to where Blaize and Zenith were still making out, oblivious. If Asher didn't feel much better after this, she was going to have to shoot them a text to let them know. It was all well and good not wanting to bother them or stress them out but they were all in a relationship together now and that meant the good, the bad, the ugly and the puking. Ash really wasn't well and it sounded like more than a dodgy hotdog could be to blame. "I think you need to lie down and let me try to get some fluids into you and you're not going to be a difficult bitch about it or I'll tell Jesse."

Asher tried to reply but a second wave of sickness hit him. He had no idea how all this could come out of him considering he had only just started eating anything solid again the night before but his stomach was staging another epic rebellion. By the time it came to an end, he out of breath and coughing through the miserable aftershock retches. "No, just--" He choked on another cough, cutting himself off. "Fuck my life. Don't bother Jesse. It's not like I'm dying. Okay, maybe a little bit dying. My stomach won't stop cramping, the bitch. I don't want to be a pain the ass for anyone. My legs are aching. I really need to sit, or lie down, or go to the bathroom. Actually, it might be a stat on that last one. Shit, who did I piss off in a former life?"

Amarlie was still rubbing Asher's back but had moved on to hold his head too. He obviously wasn't as recovered as he hoped he was. "Okay, come on. I'm going to help you inside to the nearest bathroom. It's just a little further up, sweetie. Can you make it? Once you're done, you can lie down and I'll track down the Pepto for you, if you can keep anything down. You've just got a bug and you need to let it run its course without trying to be Superman and do too much too soon. Did you actually start to feel better and it's coming back or have you just still felt sick but not as bad? You might need to see a doctor, Ash. You might need antibiotics or something. You can't just pretend you're okay if you're not to not bother anyone. It's not your fault." She helped him get up to the house without getting vomited on and he bolted for the nearest bathroom which thankfully wasn't too far down the hall. She noticed Sash, Zeke and Tori were in the sprawling living area over from the kitchen but she didn't disrupt them and got about hunting for the medicine.

Asher was stuck in the bathroom close to half an hour. By the time he felt like it was safe to come out, he was in a sweaty and exhausted mess. His body had dragged itself right back to square one and Amarlie was waiting for him with the bottle of Pepto and a little medicine cup filled with the garish pink sludge. "I think I'm just a little bit sick," he reluctantly relented, holding his thumb and index finger up close together. "I feel like hell, I need to lie down." He wasn't sure he was safe to try to swallow the Pepto yet. Instead, he headed for the stairs so he could go up to their room. Each step took energy he was pretty sure he had used up. About halfway up, he had to stop and rest. His shirt was sticking to his back with how much he was sweating. He rested his head down on his arm that was braced on the bannister.

"Ash! Baby, what the fuck are you doing?! Why didn't you tell us you were feeling sick again?" Zen came bolting up the steps to where Asher was leaning against the railing looking like he was trying not to vomit, Blaize in tow but a little slower in pace. They had both just received a text from Amarlie telling them Asher was inside being sick. They had been obliviously making out and hadn't noticed Asher was poorly. He swept Asher's hair back from his sweaty face, examining him. "You're roasting. Fuck, there's no way this isn't just food poisoning. That should've been out of your system by now. You couldn't keep anything down for days." Even if Asher was tall and well-built, Zen didn't think twice about scooping him into his arms and carrying him to their bedroom to help him lie down.

Asher had been lethargic and washed out since he fell ill but he had been keeping down some buttered toast and tea. He'd been sleeping a lot, though, which was fine because he was recovering from what they thought was a pretty nasty bout of food poisoning that seemed obvious at the time because no one else caught it. Even Blaize and Zenith, who shared a bed, bathroom, and saliva with him through kisses hadn't so much as had a stomach ache. Blaize had only been on the slow side with stiff and achy joints from his arthritis but that was normal for him. As soon as they were in their bedroom, Blaize collected the stainless steel trash can from the bathroom and wet a face cloth. "Hey, we made a pact to keep each other in the loop, especially with something like this. We should get you to a doctor. I'll ask Tori, he might know someone. Or maybe I could ask Brody. He grew up not far from here. When did the nausea come back, sweetie?" He sat on the bed and coaxed Asher to rest his head in his lap.

Amarlie was already getting her phone out of her pocket. "I'm on it. I'm shooting then both a text now. He just spent half an hour in the bathroom and came out looking even worse. He didn't want to worry anyone but he's sick as a dog and that entitles him to some worry. Try to at least get the Pepto down, sweetie," she coaxed, stroking Asher's hair where his head was nursed in Blaize's lap. "He might have a bug that needs antibiotics. I mean, he was abroad on locations shoots. Maybe he picked something up in the food or water. All it takes is one meal or even just swallowing water in the shower. Remember that time we went to Mexico and Blaize was as sick as a dog for a few days? It seems similar to that."

Asher issued a ragged sigh at the thought of trying to get the Pepto down his throat. He squeezed his eyes shut and took the cup to throw it back the best he could. He tried to think of anything but the nausea and had to hold his hand over his mouth when a fit of gagging on the medicine hit. He got it down but he was coughing and spluttering with his eyes watery in the wake of it. "I was just hoping it would go away," he mumbled and curled up on his side, hugging his stomach. "I was really careful in Bali and Brazil. I didn't even have ice in my drinks. Wouldn't it have started sooner than it did? I was back two weeks before we came to Vermont. Oh god--" He made a frantic grab for the trash can.

Amarlie made a good point. Asher had done a string of location photoshoots leading up to their break. Zenith and Blaize had gone with him to Bali and they spent about five days there together once Ash was done with work. "Now that you mentioned in, Mars, he had a bit of a stomach upset while we were there. Aw, babe..." As soon as Asher was throwing up again, he took the trash can and held it for him, rubbing his back with his other hand. Mostly it just seemed to be the Pepto and water on repeat. They thought he was doing so well that morning managing toast and tea without feeling sick after it. "Not being sick or anything. Spent the morning in the bathroom and then slept it off while B was making a video out by the pool."

Blaize smoothed Asher's hair back from his face. It was hard to just push away the building worry when someone you loved wasn't well. For most of this trip, Asher had either been in full grips of the nasty tummy bug or crashed out and exhausted trying to sleep it off. Both Blaize and Zen stuck close but once the worst of it passed, Asher just needed plenty of fluids, the aircon hiked up and the room dimmed. He had been pretty miserable and grumpy, but who wouldn't be feeling that sick? Blaize wasn't much better when his pain was dialled up. He had been known to get physically sick on the worst of his pain days. He was worried Asher was being sick again. "Would it have taken this long to get worse? It might not even be anything he's eaten for drank. I just think with everything that's happened with Zeke and Justin, we should get him checked by a doctor. There's three of us in this equation, love. Don't think we won't tag team you if we have to."

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"When the night has come and the land is dark, and the moon is the only light we see."

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