dreamlikenewyork | "You sound like you're sick..."

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"You sound like you're sick..."

Who? Jeff Hinton and Nick Matheson
What? Stepping in to lend a helping hand
When? After THIS
Where? Nick's apartment

Jeff wasn't exactly sure what to expect when he arrived at Nick's studio. The other guy had told him he was feeling pretty shit, and his brain was sort of foggy, which had made Jeff's decision for him. If Nick had just said he wasn't feeling well, but just wanted a lie down, Jeff would've understood and left him to it. But he'd openly admitted that he was planning to call someone to take him to the hospital, though he wasn't sure that he knew what he should be doing. Which again, set Jeff off with a red flag that Nick might really need someone to come and get him. So he'd decided then and there that he was going to go, collect Nick, and get him to the hospital as soon as possible.

He didn't drive often. Most people in the City didn't, as travelling by public transport was usually faster and more cost effective, but this was a hospital situation, and Jeff wasn't making Nick walk to the train to get there. So he drove over to Nick's in his beloved Honda Civic, and rang the buzzer on the door. He hoped like hell Nick could hear him.

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It was just a fact of the matter that, sometimes, Nick's every day functioning could be disrupted because he was diabetic. He could keep it under control a lot of the time, but occasionally, like had happened while he was in the middle of a translating session at the cop shop, his blood sugar could drop rapidly and suddenly. This had ended with him lying slumped on the top of the cop's desk with his head buried in the crook of his arm after he was fed some soda and Gummi Bears to try to get his levels back up. Only after he had been pretty forcefully sick into a trash can first. But because it had dropped so quickly on him, even once he started to come out of it, he didn't feel well and had to halt the session for another translator to come in and take his place. After that, Euan had driven him home and made sure he was okay to be alone.

At that point, he had began feeling better, so he had promise Euan he was fine. He crashed out on his sofa and when he woke up, he wasn't feeling well all over again. He had posted on Facebook before he had crashed out and when he woke up, Jeff had commented on the post. Nick could feel his head getting hazier and hazier. The buzzer rang just as Nick had found his glucose monitor and had it unpacked on his glass coffee table ready to test his BSL. He was clammy and shaky, feeling nauseous, and was starting to realise he probably needed to get to the hospital. He went to get the door, and when he opened it to Jeff, he greeted him with, "I'm really sorry about this. I know it's late and probably a pain in the ass."

It was pretty clear to Jeff that Alex and Ness had been right about things. He needed to be aware of what Nick's health problems were, or otherwise, he could go into a full panic if something happened when they were out together, and that wouldn't be good for anyone. He couldn't help Nick if he was freaking the fuck out. So he'd talked himself into staying calm on his way over, because he didn't want that panicked response to upset Nick or make him think that he couldn't handle it. He just didn't know how bad he might find Nick looking. Ordinarily, when Jeff went for a drive, it was with music blasting, but that wasn't the setting for his travel over to Nick's apartment. He wanted to be able to keep his focus. Ultimately, whether or not Nick needed the hospital, he didn't sound like he needed to be alone. Jeff wasn't a big fan of people being alone when they were sick, even if it was just a stomach bug. There was just no telling what might happen.

When Nick let him in, immediately apologetic, Jeff shook his head. "No. Don't be sorry. It's fine. You're not feeling well. That's not your fault, and it's not a pain in the ass. I don't mind. I'm kind of a night owl as it is." He was looking Nick over, and there was no doubt the other guy looked pale and tired, and Jeff wasn't planning on hanging around here long. "I'm parked in the parking garage across the street. Do you feel like you can walk over there with me? If not, I'll call an ambulance. Either way, I'm going with you, though." Nick's hands were shaking pretty seriously, and Jeff was worried for him. It had been a long time since he'd seen anyone looking that sick... if he could say for sure he ever had, which he didn't think he could. "Is there anything you need before we got to the car or I call the ambulance?" he asked softly. He didn't want to jump and overstep his bounds here, but he wanted to help in any way he could.

Edited 2015-09-04 15:39 (UTC)

"Just give me a couple of minutes?" Nick wanted to check his blood sugar, just in case there was a chance this was something else like a bug or a virus. He had spent time with Benny when he was sick, and chances were, he had been exposed to it. He had also had a recent trip overseas, so he might have just come down with something. There was always a chance he was just ill without needing to take precautions if it wasn't a potential medical emergency. He didn't want to clog up an ER bed someone else needed if he was unnecessarily concerned and just needed to rest in bed for a few days. But his stomach was upset, and if he started throwing up to the extent Benny had been, then he could be on a slippery slope to needing medical help anyway. The best place for him then would be in hospital on an dextrose infusion to keep his blood sugar at a safe level. Nick was just the sort of person who didn't like worry people unnecessarily, and didn't like to be a bother. He had been pretty independent for years now, but the fact of the matter was he couldn't always be a lone ranger if his diabetes was unstable or it could be life threatening.

His apartment was only a small studio, but he was in the market for something bigger now. He just hadn't had a chance to search for available properties since he got back from Italy and his bank account was now looking very healthy, to say the least. Part of him still didn't even really believe it was true, so maybe that why he wasn't rushing to use the money yet. He went back inside to sit on his sofa, lifting a glass of water with a shaky hand to his lips for a sip. He still hadn't unpacked, his suitcases piled up by the window across from his unmade bed. He went to checking his blood sugar levels then, pricking the side of his ring finger with the lancet and letting a couple of droplets of blood into the test strip so he could slot it into the digital monitor. He held it in his palm while he waited for the reading and rubbed his forehead slowly with his other hand.

Nick knew his body, and Jeff wasn't going to push him to hurry if he felt okay with taking a few minutes to test his blood sugar apparently. That made sense, as Jeff had done a little bit of research before he'd heard back from Nick about hypos and what they could entail. Nick looked the worse for wear, and Jeff was nervous, but he wasn't going to tell Nick how to suck eggs when it came to his own body. Jeff moved over to take a seat next to Nick on the couch, noting how shaky his hands were when he raised the cup to take a sip of water. "It's okay," he replied, once he'd settled into the couch. "I'm not going anywhere." He gave Nick a small smile of comfort as they sat there together, Nick waiting for the reading from his glucose meter. Jeff didn't want to just sit there like a lump, so after a moment, he very carefully rested his hand on Nick's back. The tight-fitting tank top he wore was clinging to him, and Jeff's hand rubbed gentle circles against his back. He knew there wasn't much he could do here, but he could offer comfort at the very least.

"Do these just hit you out of nowhere?" he asked softly, not really fully understanding the ins and outs of Nick's condition, but knowing that it was important for him to figure it out if he wanted to be a more consistent part of Nick's life. Which he did. He very much did. Things were just starting, but Jeff really liked Nick, and more than that, he wanted to get to know him better and understand where he was coming from in life... including his diabetes. "Or is it more something you kind of know is coming? Sorry if I'm being nosy. Or if you don't want to answer questions when you're not feeling well, I can wait until later." His tone was soft and gentle as he sat there next to Nick.

These sorts of episodes weren't all that far off how you felt with a hangover. Your body was depleted in the same way you get when you've had too much to drink. Only, with a side order of feeling like you were hungover and had the flu at the same time. He remembered when he was in high school and he first fell dangerously sick. He got ill at junior prom, where Maggie was his date, passed out and fell into his first diabetic coma. He had done that maybe four time since then too. Most of the time it was controlled, occasionally his system threw him a big FUCK YOU and it went haywire, and then there were the times he fell sick so quick he couldn't get medical attention soon enough with diabetic ketoacidosis. "It's okay. I don't mind you asking at all."

"This could either be because I've picked up a virus or because my body is all over the place timezone hopping. Could even be both. Usually I can feel it start to happen when it drops. I have to have something quickly like soda or candy to try to bring it back up, but I still could lose consciousness before it gives me that glucose hit. It's just like how anyone is when they faint, it takes a little while to recover from it. But if the sugar levels spike quickly and a lot, then it's an emergency and I need to go to the hospital for treatment." The monitor beeped, and the reading showed him his BSL was really low. He switched it off. "Yeah, I'm going to need to go to the ER. Hopefully it will just be a quick trip. It's too low. I can't keep anything down to get it back up again."

Nick was understanding of Jeff's desire to know more about what was going on, and Jeff had to admit that was comforting. It meant that Nick wasn't freaked out by it, and was okay to let Jeff that little bit closer. And Jeff would be lying if he said he didn't want to get closer. He wanted to get to know Nick better, and spend more time with him. There was something about spending time with the other guy that Jeff just enjoyed deeply, and there was something about him as a person that Jeff felt a connection to. If there was a chance their relationship might grow into something deeper along the way, these were things that Jeff was damn well going to need to know, no matter what. "Thanks," Jeff said with a small smile. "If I'm honest, I'm really enjoying getting to know you, and if there's chances of you getting sick when we're hanging out, I should probably ask these questions."

"A virus from your little nephew?" Jeff asked, looking at the other man. "So if you do something to try to stop the hypo... Like candy or a soda like you said... Can that cause it to go to the other extreme?" he asked. He needed to know if trying to get his sugar back up could shoot it way off in the other direction in a bad way. These were things he needed to know. "Do you take insulin shots?" he asked, and it hit him just how much he had to learn. Not that he minded. He was pretty sure that Nick was someone he wanted to spend his time with, getting to know him and learning more about his life... maybe sharing his own with him. "Okay," Jeff said, not nervous or panicking because Nick didn't seem scared. More just matter-of-fact. He knew what needed to be done, and that was what they were going to do. "Are you good to walk to my car?" he asked. "Or would you like for me to go get it and drive around to the front of the building to pick you up instead? I don't mind either way."

Nick was actually contemplating whether he needed to take an overnight bag or not. However, he figured that if they were going to admit him, his family could bring him whatever he needed. He tended to sleep a lot whenever he got to the point of needing hospital stays, so it wasn't like he needed much. He shook his head. "No, you never take much of that. Just enough to see if it will help. Usually it does, but not always. I carry stuff with me anyway. I need to have shots four times a day, but sometimes your body just throws everything into chaos. If that happens it can spike badly and quickly, or drop just the same. If I get any sort of bug where I'm vomiting or, you know, the other end, it depletes my body of incoming nutrients to stay balanced and I get dehydrate quicker too because the body sort of goes into overdrive trying to produce enough insulin, but it can't. That's why too many carbs aren't good. Carbs are sugars the body will burn quicker and insulin burns those carbs. But a diabetic doesn't produce enough insulin, so the sugar all just sits in the body and doesn't go anywhere and the blood sugar levels go up and up and up. We take shots of insulin, the hormone that burns the sugars like a normal body with natural insulin does."

So far, Nick was on the okay side. Obviously he wasn't well, but he could still get on his feet and he wasn't getting those stars in his peripheral vision whenever he stood... his body's way of saying 'Ha, nice try, gonna shut down now'. That was what happened at the police department, and he had been sitting. He started to feel hot and sick, then woozy with the stars. Next thing, he was out cold slumped over on the poor cop's desk. He printed out the reading from his monitor to show the doctor at the ER and shoved it into his pocket. "Do you mind driving it up to the front? I'm okay, I don't want to freak you out. Just feeling incredibly weak all over, that's all."

"Do you often get sick when you've been travelling and it throws off your eating schedule?" Jeff asked thoughtfully. Nick had mentioned timezones, and Jeff imagined if your body was on a bit of a precarious balance and your eating wasn't on the same schedule, it probably could get a bit tricky to control. He listened to what Nick was saying, taking all the information in, because he knew it was all important. "Is that why diabetes makes people really thirsty?" Jeff continued, trying to understand as much as he could. "Because you dehydrate easier than other people?" It was good that Nick didn't mind explaining, because Jeff liked to understand things, especially things effecting the people he cared about. And it was early days, but he certainly cared about Nick. He wasn't the sort to profess his undying love on the third time meeting, after only one date, but care? There was definite care. It was hard not to care for someone who'd been so incredibly kind to you in one of the scariest moments of your life. And even harder when you'd been on a date with them and found that they were funny, charming, and incredibly talented and kind. Jeff knew that love didn't happen overnight, but he recognized a connection when he saw it, and he felt that he definitely had that with Nick.

"I don't mind at all," Jeff said with an understanding smile. "That's why I offered. It should only take a few minutes. Should I wait for you downstairs or come back up to get you?" If Nick felt woozy at all, a trip down the stairs alone could potentially get dangerous, and Jeff didn't want him to smoosh his face on top of having blood sugar issues. He gave his hand a very gentle squeeze before he headed to the door and turned to him with a smile. "Back in a flash, Nicky," he said, the nickname flowing from his lips as if he'd been saying it forever. He didn't know why... it just suited Nick as far as he was concerned, and he liked it. He hoped it wasn't one of those nicknames that Nick absolutely hated... He knew some people weren't really fans of those. But for now, he'd put it to the back of his mind as he went back to get his car.

"Sort of. That happens when the blood sugar is too high, not too low. Insulin is what carries the glucose to the blood cells. Without enough insulin, the glucose becomes a high concentration and the kidneys started to work in overdrive trying to filter the extra glucose out of the system. Because the kidney's don't like having extra sugar in them either, they try to filter the glucose out harder. Because the kidneys are working in overdrive, you pee more, and they start to try to pull water sources from your bloodstream and your body begins to dehydrate. It's sort of a whole chain reaction. Then once you're dehydrated, you can run into a whole other level of dangerous problems. If your sugar levels don't get corrected, the kidneys keep trying to do that and you get more and more dehydrated. When it drops, it's a whole other story. Without correct levels of glucose in your blood, your systems and organs can't work properly. Low blood sugar is lower than 70 and I'm... well, I'm at 34," Nick told him wryly as he got up and tried to remember where the hell he left his shirt. He had shed it down to his tank top when he got home because he had been so hot and clammy.

He told Jeff to go grab the car and then come back to get him. That would turn out to be a stupid error of judgement on his part. He was still trying to find his shirt when those fucking stars came back with an awful woozy sensation. It felt like the floor was trying to pull him down and he didn't know if he was going to be sick again. He aimed to at least make it to the bathroom, but even that was optimistic. Jeff had only been gone a couple of minutes when Nick passed out again, hitting the ground pretty heavily. Luckily he managed to collapse on his rug and didn't hit his head.

Jeff had to admit that he was worried when he heard Nick's blood sugar was so fucking low. He knew damn well that could be dangerous, and it put a little extra speed behind him when he was walking to the parking garage and rounding the block (hooray one-way streets) to make his way back to the front of Nick's building. He turned on the hazard lights in hopes it would give him enough time to go and get Nick before his car was towed away for being illegally parked. It was a quiet side street, but there was always that chance of some cop writing him a ticket or having him towed. Jeff doubted this would take long, though, and quickly ascended the stairs back up to Nick's apartment over his art gallery. Nick had told him to leave the door unlocked when he went out so it would be a quicker process for him to get back in and get Nick to the car. He opened the door, and was caught off guard to not immediately see Nick... until he looked to the side and saw him lying in a heap on the floor, thank fuck, far enough from the furniture to have not hit his head on anything. "Nicky," he gasped softly, because even if he'd had an inkling this might happen, he was still slightly panicked to see this guy that he was really into having passed out in the middle of the floor.

He rushed over to Nick, sinking to his knees next to him and wishing like hell that he knew what to do here. Nick had mentioned needing something sugary to boost his blood sugar level, but what the hell could he do about that when Nick wasn't conscious? He couldn't exactly feed him a Reese's Cup when he was out cold. He didn't know what to do here, so he went to the bathroom and grabbed a washcloth, wetting it with cold water, and coming back to gently press it to Nick's face. There was no way he could get Nick down to the car by himself... He could probably lift him, but the stairs would be dangerous, and Jeff didn't want to risk hurting him more. So right now, he'd just have to do the only thing he could think of. He pulled his cell phone from his back pocket, and quickly dialed 911, explaining to the dispatcher where he was, what Nick had said his blood sugar level was, and that he'd just passed out. The woman on the other line was nice and soothing, obviously able to tell Jeff was scared, and explained to him that the paramedics would be there as soon as they possibly could be. "Nicky?" Jeff whispered to Nick as he ended the call, still keeping the cool cloth pressed to Nick's forehead. "I'm here, okay? They're going to send people to help you. We'll get you to the hospital."

If Nick's head was hurting before he fainted for the second time that day, it was hurting tenfold now. Although, there was a chance he might have actually passed out on the couch when he got home when it had just felt to him like he had falling into a deep sleep. He had lost track of time and after that, had just been trying to decide if he should call someone to get them to take him to the hospital at least to get checked over. As he managed to claw his consciousness back, albeit not entirely aware of everything, including the fact he was on the floor, he just realised he was feeling worse now that he had been. He was shaking all over and his lips and around his mouth felt numb. His heart felt like it was trying to pound right out of his chest too. It dawned on him that now he really did need urgent medical attention.

The attempt to try to get up to tell someone this failed. As soon as he sort of clumsily propped himself up on his elbow, he just dropped back onto the floor when the muscles in his arms felt weak. "There's... there's an alert card in my wallet," he told Jeff but couldn't remember where his wallet was. "Medications and allergies." He wore a MedicAlert bracelet at all times and never took it off, but other than stating he was a Type I Diabetic and had an allergy to oxycodone, it just directed medics to the card in his wallet for more detailed information. He was so tired and once his head was back on the floor, he closed his eyes again. He had Glucagon injections on hand with his insulin that his closest friends and family knew how to give him if he was losing consciousness, but Jeff wouldn't know what to do. They hadn't known each other long enough for Nick to try to lay that one on him.

A moment of relief washed over Jeff when he saw Nick's eyes opening, and he reached out to take his hand and held it gently. He was shaky and weak, and Jeff murmured, "Hey, take it easy. Help is on the way. I'm not going to make you walk to my car right now, and I don't think I can carry you. Just hang tight for me, okay?" He brushed his fingers against Nick's cheek and glanced around the room to see if he could find Nick's wallet. "Is it in your pocket," he asked softly, not wanting to grab for Nick's ass, but knowing that most people kept their wallets in the back pockets of their jeans. "I'll find it for you if it's not there." He started to look on the coffee table, then the bedside table next to Nick's bed, but he couldn't find it.

Nick's weakness was apparent, and Jeff wanted more than anything to somehow care for him and try to help. "Is there anything I can do that might help?" he asked, a calmness in his tone that he very much didn't feel. "A soda or something? Do you think you could keep something down to help bring your sugar back up?" He returned to Nick's side empty handed, and sat next to him on the floor, his hand gently returning to Nick's arm in a gesture of comfort. "The dispatcher said that the ambulance will be here soon," he reassured him. "Hopefully there's one close by that they can send." Nick's skin was clammy to the touch, but it didn't repel Jeff. Instead it just worried him more. It was scary seeing him so sick, but Jeff had no intentions whatsoever of leaving.

Nick was frustrated with himself that it had to get to this point. He was going to end up in hospital for a couple of days at least on infusion to kind of reboot his system into levelling his sugars again. This didn't happen often, and he really hoped Jeff wasn't freaking out internally that this might be an always thing, because that would be a pain in the ass. Thankfully, most of the time, Nick's condition was controlled. As long as he took his insulin at the right times, made sure he focused on not fucking with his diet too much and monitored his intake, as some other medication in pill form, he was generally good. It was just a fact of the matter that sometimes, if he had a virus or something like jetlag disrupting his system, it could tip him into the dangerzone. "Kitchen counter, I think..." It was usually wear he emptied his pockets when he got home, but his brain wasn't firing on all cylinders when he got home, so it could have ended up anywhere.

"No, it's beyond that now. They'll give me shots. Straight into the bloodstream." He was feeling really ill by this point. He knew if he tried to take anything, he was going to end up vomiting and if he did that, it could make him that much more sicker. He knew the routine. In the early days following his diagnosis, he had so many up and downs until they found the insulin dose and regime that kept him on an even keel a majority of the time. But he was quite used to being carted off in the back of an ambulance or waking up in the ICU when he came out of a come. The nausea was increasing badly, but the wooziness was too. The room felt like it was spinning and he only vaguely realised he was dropping in and out of consciousness when Jeff's words started to sound muffled, like he was talking to him through a long tube or underwater. Hopefully he didn't end up choking on his own vomit or anything awkward like that. This wasn't exactly the look anyone would be going for when they were starting to date someone.

Jeff knew that Nick was fading from consciousness pretty quickly, and he was on his feet quicker than he knew he was capable of to try and find Nick's wallet which, thankfully, was where Nick had expected it to be, on his kitchen counter. Jeff found it quickly, and searched for the card Nick had mentioned, finding it pretty quickly, before he came back over to where Nick was lying in the floor to stay close to him. By that point, Nick was pretty out of it, and Jeff just stayed by his side, gently stroking his hair back as he did. His heart ached to see the other man so sick, and he hoped Nick knew that he truly didn't mind being here for him. Sure it was a little scary... maybe a lot scary... but it wasn't scaring Jeff away from wanting to be with Nick. Right now, he just wanted to be close to him so he wouldn't be alone. No one should be alone in a moment like this. And Jeff was going to make damn sure that, no matter what, Nick wasn't. He couldn't help the fact that his eyes were misting over, though, when there was nothing else to do but sit there and wait and hope like hell that the ambulance made it quickly.

"Nicky?" he murmured softly. If Nick had any consciousness of things at all, Jeff wanted to be sure he knew he wasn't alone, and if there was a chance that talking to him might help him stay awake, there was that side of things, too. He couldn't be sure. He'd never been around someone who'd passed out before, and he didn't totally know what to do or say, but he was damn well going to try his best to help here. "Nicky, I promise, they're going to be here soon. They'll get you to the hospital and get you some help." He really didn't want to cry here, but he couldn't stop a few tears. Nick had pretty much told him the doctors would be able to help, and he hadn't seemed scared, but that was before he passed out, and now Jeff wasn't sure how much danger he was in -- though he assumed it would have to be pretty bad for him to be passing the fuck out.

It was always difficult to explain how this felt to people who hadn't experienced it. 'Very sick' sort of covered it, but Nick knew that his family and friends had all tried to get a better understanding of how he felt. When they knew they couldn't really have a full appreciation of it, they had just all learned how to help him if this happened. They knew what to do, knew the warning signs that came when eating some candy wasn't going to work. Nick had episodes where his BSL could go up dangerously high, or drop dangerously low. It was scary when he was diagnosed, but he was better off when people learned how to help him in times he was too sick to direct people nearby what they needed to do. He wasn't completely out of it here. He was drifting in and out, but he still had an awareness of what was going on.

He gave Jeff's hand the weakest of squeezes. "S'okay. M'gonna be okay," he reassured him in a weak mumble. It wasn't that far off when you got food poisoning or a stomach bug, and you got to the point that all you could do was lie on the bathroom floor and wait until you felt better. Even if Jeff had tried to get him up and to the car, it wouldn't work. Nick didn't have the strength to help him and he would be a dead weight. It was best to just wait for the paramedics who would know exactly what to do, and would likely give him a shot as soon as they got there. Still, after an episode like this, Nick always felt wrecked. It would take a few days, possibly even staying in hospital, until he started to feel better enough to get his normal functioning back. "Oh, god. Think m'gonna be sick."

The squeeze of Nick's hand, weak though it may have been, was reassuring for Jeff. It meant that Nick hadn't completely lost consciousness, and he was still talking, even if his voice was weak. Jeff also couldn't help being that much more attracted to Nick for the fact that, even as sick as he was, he was concerned with Jeff, not wanting him to be scared or freak out. Not that there was really any stopping that. Jeff was scared and freaked out. But certainly not the kind of scared and freaked out that meant he'd get Nick to a hospital and then never speak to him again. That wasn't Jeff's way, and a diabetic hypo certainly didn't turn off the fact that Jeff was attracted to Nick and was really enjoying getting to know him along the way. He'd be lying if he said that he hadn't thought about Nick almost 24/7 since they'd met, and even more since they'd had their date together. He didn't want to jump the gun by any stretch of the imagination, but he was enjoying the getting to know each other stage, and hoping very much that it would progress past that to a knowing each other and still enjoying spending time together stage.

Jeff had a brief moment of panic when Nick said he was going to be sick, but he recovered fast enough to make a grab for the nearest trash can and carefully tuck his arm under Nick's head to raise him up and help him turn to the side so that he wouldn't be sick all over himself. "It's okay, babe," he said, holding the trashcan so it wouldn't get bumped away. "I've got you." And he meant that, too. No matter what it took or how sick Nick was, Jeff was determined to be right here next to him when the paramedics arrived, looking after him and being sure that he was as safe as he could be given the circumstances. When Nick had finished, Jeff quietly asked him, "Do you want to lie back down or do you need a minute?" If Nick wasn't done being sick, Jeff didn't want him to lie down there again and risk choking on his own vomit or something equally awful.

Nick felt terrible that he had to lay on Jeff something like needing to help him puke. They had a fun date, and whilst they hadn't gotten to the point of deciding what would come next, Nick was definitely interested in seeing where it went. Even moreso since learning they had connections beyond themselves and had mutual friends along the way. That was nice, and way more appealing than trying to connect with a complete stranger and figure out if there was any chemistry there. Nick had ended a frankly ridiculous relationship when he was over in Italy. Before he left, the guy seemed nice, they went on some dates, he was open to Nick's many quirks and seemed to have a genuine interest in his art. Dude turned out to be a gold digger, using Nick to have free accommodation in Italy and then wanting a quickie marriage when he realised Nick was earning a huge commission from the job over there. Nick told him to fuck off and die, and said if he ever tried to contact him again, he would make sure he never had the ability to text message again. Thank fuck the dickhead got the hint. Nick was sort of, as Dani liked to tease him, a bit of a hippy in mindset. He was an artist, he was a free-spirit, he did what he felt in his heart. He didn't need a relationship to be who he was, he just liked the thought of having one to compliment his life, not make it.

"M'so sorry," he mumbled, slightly breathless from the exertion of throwing up. "Maybe just a minute..." He still felt sick. Throwing up hadn't really helped to feel better like it could sometimes. It just zapped the depleting energy stocks he had left and he was now, without meaning to, leaning heavily in against Jeff. That was when the paramedics arrived. There was a knock at the door and someone called through that it was the paramedics. Jeff told them to come in and up the hall. Nick realised straight away that it was Andrew and Carmen, and he couldn't stop a slight whimper of relief at the familiar faces. They were on the ball, Andrew asking him if his levels were up or down, and how many times he had been sick. Nick confirmed this was the third time since that morning. His oxygen stats were low, so Carmen put an oxygen mask on him while Andrew immediately administered a glucagon injection and it was literally just a couple of minutes before Nick started to get a bit of colour back into his face and he felt less hazy in the head. Only to have Nick rather embarrassingly poke himself in the eyeball when he shoved the oxygen mask up onto his forehead to be sick again, this time in a bag Carmen was holding for him.

Jeff had always been a tenderhearted person... and luckily one with a strong stomach, because he had the feeling he wouldn't have lasted very long in a veterinary office if things like vomit bothered him much. So maybe this wasn't exactly how anyone wanted a relationship to start... It wasn't the lighthearted fun most people expected from the early days. But Jeff didn't care. What mattered to him was that Nick wasn't alone when he was hurting and sick. He knew that the other guy had family here in the City, but he'd gotten sick so quickly, and he knew that Dani was busy with her own son who was sick, too. She may not have even seen Nick's post. Nick was so sick, but he'd told Jeff he was going to be okay, and Jeff could only hope that was true and not just meant to help allay Jeff's fears when maybe they were justified. "It's okay," Jeff reassured him, brushing his hair back even still as he held him up in case he needed to puke again. "Don't be sorry, babe. You're sick. That's not your fault," he said, kissing him gently on top of his head without thinking about it. He kept Nick supported with his arms as they sat there, and was grateful as fuck when the paramedics arrived.

Andrew and Carmen were no strangers to Jeff, who knew them through Alex and Vanessa, but also through seeing them in action when his buddy had broken an arm playing basketball. They were excellent paramedics, and Jeff was really happy they'd been the ones to respond to his call. Carmen and Andrew took over quickly, but Jeff stayed close by. He didn't want Nick to think he'd just showed up out of some sense of obligation, and would be gone as soon as it was "someone else's problem." He wanted to be here. He wanted to go with Nick to the hospital and ensure that the other guy was okay. Jeff felt relief wash over him when the shot Andrew gave Nick almost immediately made him less pale, but the sickness was coming back, and Jeff hurt for him. "I just went down to pull my car around front of his building. He said he felt okay, but just needed it to be a little less space to walk. But by the time I got back he'd already passed out," Jeff explained, not sure if any of this was helping or not. Carmen gave him a nod, though, and assured him that they would get Nick the best treatment possible. Not that Jeff doubted that at all. He knew they were the best of the best, and that if anyone could be trusted to help, it was them. But he was still nervous for Nick.

"I do feel a bit better... I swear," Nick said, though even his words sounded weak and the fact his stomach wasn't cooperating wasn't very good evidence of this. By now, he really was wondering if he caught Benny's tummy bug. He had babysat for him and they had slept together smooshed onto Benny's toddler bed. Benny had been vomiting and he had diarrhoea, so there was a risk Nick might have come down with it, no matter how careful you were. Luckily, Andrew told him then that he would give him something to help the nausea and vomiting, and Nick felt like he wanted to kiss the guy. It wasn't that he didn't get sick like that if his levels dropped or peaked, because he did. Often when he started to get that woozy feeling like he was about to pass out, he would be sick because the body kicked into overdrive trying to right what was going wrong. Nick would come out of it feeling awful, and often in a mess if he didn't have anyone there to help him.

They helped get him onto the stretcher, and Carmen was tucking a blanket in around his neck and putting the oxygen back on him. The good thing about Nick was that he didn't try to be a pain in the ass and fight when he needed the medical attention. He had to just let them do their thing so he could feel better. If he had to be in hospital a couple of days, so be it. "Does this mean you'll visit me when I'm in hospital?" he joked to Jeff, albeit clearly drained from what had just happened but wanting to make a bit of a joke about it. You had to be able to laugh at it if he wasn't in a serious way and his life was on the line. This was just his lot in life. He had dated people who found this too much baggage, but for some reason, he didn't think Jeff was one of them.

Though Nick was saying he felt better, Jeff wasn't totally sure he believed him. Not after what he'd just seen. He was grateful as fuck, though, that Andy and Carmen had made it so quickly, and had known just what to do. It was only after they'd already done everything they needed to do that Jeff realized he was still holding Nick's wallet in his hand, because the paramedics knew what they were doing. They knew Nick, and hadn't even needed the information on the medic alert card in the wallet. He'd hold onto it for Nick, because he was planning to follow the ambulance straight to the hospital. He wasn't going to leave it in their hands now without following through. He and Nick were definitely early days, but he couldn't help that he really liked him and had every intention of following through and getting to know him better as they went. And that meant learning more about his condition so that, when things like this happened, Jeff could be more helpful than just getting his wallet and holding the trashcan to help him puke.

Jeff couldn't help the grin when Nick was teasing him, and he gave him a nod. "I'll be right behind you, gorgeous," he assured him, giving his arm a gentle squeeze through the blanket Carmen had just tucked in around him. "Although, I might be a little bit jealous that your ride has more flashy lights than mine," he added, his hand still resting there. Not really even thinking about it, he leaned over the stretcher to kiss Nick on the forehead. "If I get caught up in traffic, don't fall in love with any hot doctors before I get there, okay? I'll show up and be crushed." He moved back quickly, though, to get out of Carmen and Andrew's way so that they could get Nick on his way to the hospital. He made his way over to the kitchen counter to grab Nick's keys as well, because he was pretty sure Nick would need those, and ran down the stairs behind Carmen and Andrew to get to his car so he could follow behind the ambulance.

By the time they got to the hospital and Nick was put in a bay to be seen by a doctor, he was tired but the antinausea medication had kicked in and stopped him throwing up more. That was part of the aim of this, because the more he was sick, the worse condition he could end up in. Riley had come and assessed him, examining everything and taking bloods and other samples to make sure nothing else was at play here causing the sudden drop in blood sugar. He was immediately started on infusions and Riley told him that once the test results came back, he wanted to admit him for a couple of days just to try to get his levels balanced and stable again. Riley told him to rest and use the buzzer if he started to feel really sick or dizzy again. The risk of being put on infusions was that the blood sugar could rapidly go the other way and spike, which would put him at risk of coma. It was an urgent situation, but he was in good hands now.

That was when Riley brought Jeff through to him, saying he had a visitor and Nick offered Jeff a weak smile. He was now changed into a hospital gown and had three different IV lines feeding into him, oxygen prongs in his nose. It was a bit serious business, but necessary evils, unfortunately. "I really though you might want to take the out and just cut your losses here," he said, but he was joking. He would leave that ball in Jeff's court. If any of this made him uncomfortable, Nick would understand. "What I can promise you is that it doesn't get to this point every time I have instability in my BSL. Usually it will level if I eat something, or take the insulin. Sometimes, they just like to exercise my insurance policy."

When they arrived at the hospital, clearly Jeff couldn't stay with Nick while he was being changed and treated, nor would he have wanted to -- not because it bothered him, but because he felt sure that Nick needed a bit of privacy and didn't want a guy he'd only just started dating to see him in the midst of all that. He had to admit he was thankful when they got to the hospital that Riley was the ER doctor on call. It was one of those things that gave Jeff comfort because he knew Riley well and he knew that he'd take the best possible care of Nick. If ever there was a doctor that it paid to have on your side, it was Riley. So Jeff sat in the waiting room, holding Nick's wallet in one hand and his keys in the other, bouncing his knees as he sat there and trying to somehow focus on anything other than how worried he was about Nick. But of course, having struggled with ADHD throughout most of his school years, now that he was older and took meds, he had a near laser focus on the one thing he wished he could keep his attention away from.

Another reason it was good that Riley was there was that he knew Jeff and had no problem taking him to Nick's room once he was settled in. Even though he'd known from what Nick was telling him that most of what was wrong could be helped in the hospital, he couldn't help the relief that washed over him to see the other guy fully conscious and awake, even if he did have IV lines. Jeff just hadn't quite known what to expect here, and now that he was seeing that Nick was better, if not 100% okay, he wasn't quite so freaked out about things. "Not a chance in hell, gorgeous," he said with a gentle smile as he made his way over to the nightstand by Nick's bed. "I brought your wallet and keys," he said as a side note. "I figured it would suck to get out of the hospital and not have a way back into your apartment." He shifted to take a seat on the edge of Nick's bed, careful to ensure there were no IV lines in the vicinity of where he was parking his ass. "In all seriousness, I don't want to cut my losses at all. I feel like I'd lose a lot more by walking away from things before I gave them a chance to happen. I know we're only just getting to know each other, but I'm really enjoying it so far. I don't want to cut it short." He watched him for just a moment before asking softly, "Do you feel a little better?"

Nick did wish the doctors at the hospital had this cool medical magic wand to wave to make him bounce right back to feeling normal but he still felt ill because he was ill. When a diabetic's body went into overdrive, it wore them out and he was just wishing he could go home to his own bed. He had always been quite independent and only really accepted help from his family and friends if he was in too bad a condition to care for himself or stop himself veering into further danger. In hindsight, he probably should have gone to see his doctor after the episode at the police station early in the day. He had even woken up not feeling 100% and he was usually a morning person. He had been tired and not overly hungry, but palmed it off as jetlag, which could take over a week to get over sometimes. That didn't improve the more you travelled if you had a tendency to it.

Now that the flurry of getting him checked over was done for now, he as feeling that tired you felt where you were too tired to even go to sleep. Like the act of actually falling asleep would take more energy than you had at your disposal. "Um, well... I don't feel as bad?" It was a start, right? 'Better' was reaching at the moment, but he didn't want to linger on that too long. He didn't want Jeff to assume all this was some great big ongoing pain in the ass where he would be sick all the time. He wouldn't, but when this happened, he needed to recover from it before he began to feel better. When he had the infusions, it would help more, but after that, he would go home and need a good week of taking it easy until he was back to normal. A week where his family watched him like a hawk and made it impossible to do anything but rest or he would be on the rude end of a bitchslap. "What sort of things do you want to happen?"

"Hey, at least 'not as bad' is better than passing out cold," Jeff said with a small smile as he looked at Nick. He was glad to see the other guy conscious and talking coherently again. It was a start, and a good one at that. Jeff's hand rested lightly on Nick's arm as he sat there on his bed. He knew this probably wasn't really what Nick wanted out of their third time hanging out together, but Jeff just needed to know that the other guy was okay and being seen to. And more than that, he wanted Nick to know that he wasn't just going to duck and run at the first sign of a problem. That wasn't the kind of person that Jeff was. He knew that life could get complicated sometimes, and people got sick. That didn't mean that they didn't just as much deserve to be cared for and loved just because they were sick. Jeff didn't believe in that.He believed in being there for the people you cared for when things were hard... even when you were just getting to know them and building a relationship there.

Maybe he should've but Jeff hadn't totally been expecting Nick's question. But he didn't fight it. Instead, he gave it a few moments of honest thought, his hand still resting on Nick's arm as if to make sure he knew that Jeff was still there and was listening. "I want to get to know you better and make sure we continue to click. But I'll be honest with you here. I think I'm the kind of person that's made for real, long term, dedicated relationships. Don't get me wrong... I'm not the sort of guy who expects anyone to put a ring on it. I just like the things that come from being close and having a lover, not just someone you occasionally sleep with. I don't want to make assumptions or anything, but I also just want to be honest, you know?"

Edited 2015-09-11 11:26 (UTC)

Nick's eyebrows rose but he didn't answer immediately. He just wet his lips, wondering how he should respond to this. He couldn't help but feel a little awkward that this conversation had just started happening literally the third time they met. "Okay, well, as long as we're being honest here, how the hell do you even know anyone is that potential so early into things? That's all a bit... well, soon," he said, because he really didn't know how to take Jeff's confession here. It was heavy and a bit full-on. Nick had always been the sort to trust his gut instinct, but even then, that was wrong sometimes. "Now I just feel like I'm kind of being studied and assessed on whether I fit whatever criteria you think it makes for 'real', 'long term', 'dedicated relationships. Because, holy shit, that's a whole lot of heavy to lay on a dude literally the third time you've been in his presence..."

He wasn't being rude. If Jeff wanted honesty, this was his. "I mean, how the hell does it work if I'm the sort who doesn't like to look too far into the 'long term and dedicated' and prefer to just take each day and see how it all pans out? You don't want to put a ring on it, but you're going into it all dead-set on long term and dedicated, and nothing else makes anything 'real'? Seriously, I want to understand here, but this is a little too heavy and soon for me, personally. Maybe we should just stick to the friends thing and you can find someone else who wants long term real dedication right off the bat."

Edited 2015-09-11 14:13 (UTC)

Jeff could tell from Nick's face and his response that he maybe didn't handle that the best way. Nick had asked what Jeff wanted to happen, and Jeff had gone way, way too far into his answer. "Wow. I totally just went into awkward land with that," he said, shaking his head. "Okay, let me try this again. What I meant is, I want to get to know you. Because I'm really attracted to you, and I like what I've seen of your personality so far. I've enjoyed the time I've been getting to know you, and I'd like to continue that. I don't want you to feel like you're under a microscope, because even if dating doesn't work out for us, I'd like to still be friends." He really wished he hadn't just run off at the mouth as he did from time to time. "I don't have a checklist I'm assessing you on. And I know that it probably just sounded like that from what I said. Here's the thing. Ultimately, what I really mean is that I'm not really into just hooking up and then never talking again."

He sat there awkwardly for a moment, trying to think of how he could better explain what he meant without digging himself into a deeper hole. "I'm not looking for a person who's ready to move in and be boyfriends right away. That's not what I meant. And something can still be real and special without sitting down and saying, 'We're going to be together forever and ever.' I didn't mean it like that. I don't want this to be heavy. It hasn't been so far, and I've liked that it's just been light and easy with us getting to know each other. I didn't mean that we had to be prepared to get married tomorrow. God... I'm really sorry. That was incredibly fail. I know we don't know each other that well yet, and I'm not looking at it waiting to see if you fit some crazy criteria. That's just... Not at all how I meant for that to come out."

It was awkward, no doubt about that. Nick was glad when a nurse came to take his obs again, which would happen like clockwork every fifteen minutes until his test results came back and they started to fuck about with his infusions to get his system in equilibrium again. But soon enough, he and Jeff were left alone again. They hadn't even slept together yet and then there was a the whole 'real, long term, and dedicated' thing. Nick had just gotten out of a relationship that came on too hot and heavy way too quickly that he had no interest in repeating any of that. "You hardly know me," he had to emphasise here. All Jeff really knew so far were skin-deep things, which is why Nick was uncomfortable with this. To go from barely scratching the surface to 'I'm looking for long term dedicated realness and that's it', he was a bit overwhelmed.

He just shook his head. "I'm sorry, I don't agree that anything can be real and special after three meetings. Anything real and special takes longer to evolve and be cherished than that. It's the time and dedication that makes it real and special, not saying 'I want real and special with you, and that's what it's going to be because I said so'." He was tired and not feeling well. He could feel this was upsetting him more because of that. Had this just been a usual conversation with him feeling perfectly fine, he probably would have navigated it better. Still, his feelings would have been the same either way. "What have I done or said to make you think I would disrespect you by just hooking up and never speaking to you again? If I was hooking up, there would be a clear line drawn in the sand and everyone would be on the same page. We haven't even slept together, I don't know what made you think this was just a hook-up."

If ever in his life Jeff had wanted a redo on something, this might have been it... and that was considering he'd done some really stupid shit in the past, too. He felt like an utter moron right now, because he'd clearly gotten his point lost somewhere in the shuffle of it all. "I know that I hardly know you," Jeff countered, because he wasn't a complete idiot, contrary to the fail he was presenting right now. "And I definitely don't think that we've established a lifelong romantic relationship right now. Trust me, I do know that. What I'm getting at is that I like you a lot so far... what I know of you... and what would be cool is if we continued to hit it off. I didn't mean to jump right in and put it out there that I had expectations like that. I'm not putting that on you as an expectation. I just mean that I like relationships. Not that they need to be rushed, but I like the steps. I like the getting to know each other part, and taking our time. A relationship doesn't have to happen right fucking now. In fact, if it did, I don't think it would work. Despite how all that sounded, I'm not trying to jump into anything or push anything. I know getting to know a person takes a lot of time, and nothing real and special comes without that."

"I didn't think you would do that," Jeff said, wondering why the fuck life didn't have a rewind button. "I kind of said that more as an extreme example. I don't think this is just a hook-up. And I'm glad about that. I don't want it to be. Fuck... can we just rewind and pretend I never said any of that and let me try answering your original question again?" Jeff asked, trying to smile, but feeling really awkward and wondering if he'd just screwed up his chances with a guy who he was really attracted to, and who he was enjoying getting to know. He took a deep breath and started over. "What I meant to say was this. What I want to happen is that we get to know each other better, continue what we're doing now, which is dating and taking those getting to know you steps, and see if there's a possibility that it will go further for us in the future. I felt a spark when I first met you, which I realize was mostly physical attraction. I don't believe in love at first sight. But I was that much more attracted to you because you were so kind to me when I was really scared, and you didn't have to be. You could've told me where Euan's office was and went on about your business, but you talked to me and kept me company. What I mean is, we're in the early days, and I don't know what might come next. But what I want out of this is just the chance to find out. I didn't mean that we need to be ready to be together forever right now the third time we've been in the same place."

Nick found himself still giving Jeff an uncertain side-eyed look of wariness. He couldn't deny he had just experienced a whole big wave of, 'WHOA, HOLD UP'. He did want a relationship, but he wanted it to progress organically where he could enjoy it along the way and not think too far into the future. As soon as Jeff had said these things, he was immediately thinking they were on way, way different pages and he was the sort to pull the plug on things if he thought they were going to work. He had gotten a completely different feel from Jeff before that specific comment, so he was understandably confused and taken aback by the flip. If that was what Jeff had been looking for, Nick would have just stepped back so he could go on his merry way to find whatever it was he was looking for with someone who wanted the same sort of thing. Nick just wasn't the sort to consider serious or committed the third time he had conversed with someone in person. The things he wanted out of a relationship were deeper, more spiritual in a sense, and as such, he felt they took longer to cultivate. Especially after the dropkick he had told to go fuck himself when he was overseas.

"Well, just cool the extreme examples, alright? Then we'll have a deal. I'm not a fan of extreme anything, and throwing stuff around like that is... awkward. I don't want things to be awkward. At least, no more than getting ill like this and putting you in this position so soon into whatever we have going here anyway. I'm only looking for something to compliment my life, not to change it or have it forced into some ideals that might not happen in that way or on that time limit. That's just not me. It never has been me. So, I'm honestly not really sure what it was inside you that had you responding to my question like that, but truly, if that's what you want, then it might be a sake of us not being on the same page," Nick had to point out, because what Jeff said came from somewhere. Now that it was out there, he was doing some serious back-pedalling and even if he wanted to rewind and take it back, Nick felt like it should be addressed on some level. "What made you say it in that way...? That's all I want to know. Neither of us deserve forcing something if we want completely different things."

Edited 2015-09-14 14:26 (UTC)

Even as they were talking things out, Jeff was realizing that he really hadn't needed to go quite so hard with the expectation level there. Nick hadn't asked him what he wanted to happen years down the road. He'd asked him what he wanted to happen, but he hadn't been asking about ten years into the future. What Jeff wanted was to get to know Nick better, because if there was a chance that it could be something special, Jeff didn't want to miss out on that. It wasn't that he'd made an assumption that it was going to become something big and serious in the future. It was just that, if it did work out that way, it would make him really happy. There had been a spark, one way or another, and Jeff wouldn't deny that. He seriously wanted to see where this could all go.

"Okay," Jeff said, with a small nod of understanding. "I didn't really mean to go that far with what I was saying. And things weren't awkward with us when we first started chatting and spending time together. I liked that. And maybe I should've thought of that a little better before I shot off at the mouth with crazy, over the top stuff. I don't have us on a time limit in my head. I'm not thinking that if we haven't moved in together or something by a certain date, we shouldn't keep seeing each other and spending time together. I guess what I was getting at was just that I like you. I like spending time with you, and I hope that it can continue, and maybe down the road as we go, grow and develop along the way." He thought about that for a moment, and finally spoke, trying to answer Nick's question. "I think... Well, what I was trying to say is that I do want to see what might happen if we spent more time together. If we got to know each other better and it turned into something more along those lines, it would be really cool. But I didn't mean it like I was already putting you on a timeline for it. Like I said, sometimes I sort of have normal ideas that come out of my mouth as these out there extremes... I do want a relationship someday, but that isn't to say that it needs to be happening now. It's just that I'd be happy if our getting to know each other led to us realizing that we really do enjoy each other's company and want to keep things going. That's what I meant. Without the OTT stretch there."

Nick was still nauseated and a little woozy, but it most definitely helped to be lying down and off his feet. He knew he was getting right treatment, that had started with the paramedics but there had been no magic button that had been hit to switch off the awful feeling to get him bouncing back to perfect health. It just didn't work like that. A diabetic episode taxed a system, and like any illness, it took some time for him to recover from in. All of that was why he really wouldn't have been capable of any deep and meaningful relationship conversation, even if he was more a lover of fast-tracking everything like some people could be. What he had meant with his question was just wondering what Jeff anticipated as happening next with this. Usually if you went on a date with someone, a conversation happened about what came next... that really was all Nick had been asking. He hadn't meant for an intense conversation to ensue. If he was honest with himself, all he wanted was a bit of a distraction from feeling so shitty. He should've asked about the weather.

He put his hand on his stomach, trying to nurse it through the discomfort. He might need to take Riley up on that offer for another option for the nausea if the first didn't work. It seemed to try to work, but now he was feeling sick again. "Things probably weren't awkward because no one was analysing projected relationships," he pointed out wryly. "We don't know each other's relationship history, we don't know basically an extensive portion of who we are. I'm not ready to do anymore than just take our times getting to know each other before we think about what is supposed to happen by way of more progressed things. You know, the only way people build a bridge is to start one side and build on getting to the other. Anyone tries to cross that bitch too soon, what happens? They'll fall over the edge and get a rude shock. Relationships are different to that concept at all. I don't know if that's how you've gone about relationships in the past, but I'm more partial to enjoying the ride and waiting for the bridge to be built sturdy and effectively."

Despite having had the shit scared out of him, Jeff was glad that he knew about Nick's health problems. If he were ever to get sick and not be able to tell Jeff what was going on, at least Jeff would have some idea and be able to tell paramedics if they weren't lucky enough to get ones like Carmen an Andy, who already knew Nick and had known what to do right off. In other circumstances, they might not be so lucky, and Jeff couldn't bear the thought of something bad happening to Nick. If Jeff had stopped and thought for a minute, maybe he would've been able to figure out what Nick had meant by his question, but he'd managed to fuck that up totally. He could only hope that there was a shot in hell of recovering from the fail, but Nick wasn't giving him the GTFO yet, which was a start as far as Jeff was concerned. It meant that they were still here, still talking. And that was a start.

"That probably did help quite a bit," Jeff replied sheepishly. "You're right, though. I don't want to rush things. I like the pace we had going. I think I sort of answered that question that you probably meant for now in the way I'd probably really be supposed to answer it much further down the road, provided things work out that way. I'm enjoying getting to know you. That's the short term answer. I want that to keep happening. I'd like to keep dating, get to know each other more, and better. No. The only other real relationship I've had came about pretty organically. I know it's not a thing where we wake up in the morning, and confess our undying love and never ever separate or whatever. But I'm liking where we are with things." He had to laugh a little, because Nick had quite a way with words. "Let's not go running over bridges, then. I'd just like the opportunity to build as we go and see what might be on the other side."

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