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[headingforsomething]

I apparently have a whole posse of friends my age, but I'm a solitary fifth wheel hanging out with my middle-aged dad and his boyfriend, and 16 year old sweethearts. Yep, my life is in need of one fucking hell of an overhaul, and stat.

Comments

[wordsofwisdom]

Let's find you a cowboy to ride, girl! None are as gorgeous as mine, though. Just saying.

[headingforsomething]

Not even any competition, sweetie! How are you feeling after The Great Epic Steak Fail of 2016?

[wordsofwisdom]

He is the best rider here and he is going to slay all the people. Empty. So very, very empty.

[headingforsomething]

He is, and this is why I got us FIN FTW t-shirts made so he has his own cheer squad. Hey, at least we can say you won the title of biggest puke for the night.

[wordsofwisdom]

You just became my second favourite. Are they red? Red's his favourite colour. Unless it's roses, then it's yellow. I did. I should get a crown, it was that spectacular.

[headingforsomething]

They are, indeed, red. I weasled that little piece of info out him when I bought him icecream one day after school. I was too busy watching how adorable it was that Fin was holding your hair back to notice, cutie.

[wordsofwisdom]

Hell, yeah! You know, for someone who isn't officially a big sister, you've got the skills down. He did do that, didn't he? Aww.

[headingforsomething]

That is one of the sweetest things anyone has ever said to me, Shannon. He did, and it was sweet. You two just keep on doing what you're doing, because you have it down way more than most of us adults do, kiddo.

[wordsofwisdom]

It's true, though. I have two big sisters, so I'm an expert in it. You think so? I really want to get it right with Fin. I fucked up the other day, and I hurt him. It felt crap.

[headingforsomething]

So, you think I pass the test? I know so, cutie. You can't fake stuff like that. if it comes naturally, you've got it made.

[wordsofwisdom]

I'd adopt you, but I think Fin has dibs on that. And Justin. He's special, I love that it comes natural but I think he makes that easy.

[headingforsomething]

I'm happy to big sister all you kiddos. You make me smile. Oh, yeah? I think he thinks you're the one making it easy.

[wordsofwisdom]

Do you ever wish you had a real brother or sister? I know us little siblings can be a giant pain in the butt sometimes, though. Even if I got angry and yelled at him?

[headingforsomething]

Briefly when I was younger, but only because back then, I was too young to understand that daddy couldn't make a baby without a mommy. My BFF and I grew up together just like brother and sister, so that was plenty. I happen to like being surrounded by giant pains in the butt. They make me happy. Sweetie, we all screw up and hurt people we love sometimes.

[warmredautumn]

We miss you in New York, honey, but I hope that fifth wheeling is still somewhat fun? Your dad's boyfriend's little brother is the cutest thing ever. He brought his boyfriend to Footloose. They're adorbs. ♥

[headingforsomething]

Yeah, they're cute.

[warmredautumn]

I get the feeling that when you get home, a major girls' night is in order?

[headingforsomething]

To achieve what?

[warmredautumn]

I didn't know that girls' nights had to achieve anything other than two gals catching up and spending time together. Talking about what's going on.

[headingforsomething]

Even if I'm bitter and miserable my supposed partner needed an invitation written in blood to both invite me to move in with him and propose to me, and our sex life has died in the ass because there's no spark?

[privateinvestigations]

private messages

[headingforsomething]

And I might just fucking do that. Maybe that's exactly what I need.

[privateinvestigations]

You were pretty open about his shit with Renz, so what's the difference? What's going on with you two anyway?

[headingforsomething]

I have no idea. I need a break to figure out what I want. I'm not happy, and I deserve to be happy. A ripped cowboy will at least offer an epic orgasm.

[privateinvestigations]

I'll get a fucking bitchslap if I call you Ross and Rachel, won't I? You do deserve to be happy, love. That much is indisputable. What are you searching for?

[headingforsomething]

You'll get a fucking punch. In the dick. My soul mate. I'm searching for my soul mate, and when I find them, I'm giving them one giant fucking hug that I don't want them to let go of. I'm just scared that maybe my soul mate is a gay man.

[privateinvestigations]

Let's not fucking do that. I love my dick. Winnie? Wait, are you into chicks too? You said 'them'.

[headingforsomething]

Linc loves it too and I don't want to upset him. Once upon a time, I wondered about Winnie, but Rom's his soul mate, without a doubt. Yeah, bitch. I'm bi. Always have been. I've just been surrounded by cock for so long, I haven't gotten my lady-lovin' on in a long time.

[privateinvestigations]

Pretty sure he'll want it to be working if his sex drive ever comes back. So, you got over wanting to bitchslap Romeo as a hobby? How about you come back NYC, hook up with a chick, and let me watch?

[headingforsomething]

It'll come back when he feels better. He's not himself at the moment, and that's okay. I was 100% in the wrong with that. He's a great guy, and adores Winnie. That's all I ever wanted for him. Tempting. If the cowboy is a flop, I might just do that too.

[privateinvestigations]

He's doing really fucking well. I'm proud of him. For once in my life, fucking isn't the priority. Hell must be freezing over. Fag Hag approval is serious fucking business. What went wrong with you and Jude? I sent him a text, but he doesn't seem to want to talk to me. Maybe we need to send in the big guns of Renz.

[headingforsomething]

He is. It was great to have a little visit with him the other day. There's more than just fucking in something that matters, bub. It's a lesson I knew you'd eventually learn. The accurate question would be 'What went right?' It just bottomed out. I don't want that sort of relationship. I want the happy everyone else's having, even my dad. Renz doesn't need to. It is what it is.

[privateinvestigations]

Catching up with folk means a lot to him. He was over the moon to see Hols the other day too. Linc's worth fucking learning it for. Your dad hooking up must've been a huge thing for you too, love. You're okay with all that? The kid seems like a cool dude.

[headingforsomething]

That's adorable. I hope you got lots of pictures. She's growing up. Almost makes me clucky. Are you happy, Clitty? It was hard to adjust to at first, I'll admit that. I wasn't sure I fit in easily with his new life. It's better now, though. Fin is one of the sweetest kiddos. Some of us adults could do with taking some leafs out of his book.

[privateinvestigations]

Renz did. Dad prerogative. Good, I don't need you on the same train as Ange and Em. Yeah, I'm happy. Fucking shit ain't easy, but I'm happy he's still alive and still wants a bar of me. If that what got you thinking? Your dad's hooking up and happy, but you weren't?

[headingforsomething]

Wait, what? Ange and Em are having a baby? I could tell you were by the way you were looking at him when I visited. I just wanted to hear you say it. It was a part of it, definitely. It's been a lot of different factors, though. Why keep fooling myself? Especially when I've always tried to be real with myself.

[privateinvestigations]

Well, they asked me to fucking jizz in a cup. That's the last I know on the subject. Yeah, he's changed the way I fucking look at everything. You're a great gal, love. You deserve all that nice shit.

[headingforsomething]

You as the baby daddy?! OMGLOL. And that, right there, Clitty, is everything I want. Someone who changes my world, into a better place.

[privateinvestigations]

Settle down. No one is fucking calling me daddy. Ever. You can have the world, love. You're already starting to conquer it.