dreamlikenewyork | "I'll sleep when I'm dead."

Entry tags:

"I'll sleep when I'm dead."

Who: Richie and Karla Jameson
What: Mommas being mommas
Where: Heading home
When: Thursday evening

It had been about halfway into his shift that Richie started to feel off-colour. It wasn't the sort of off-colour he had with a bleed. There had been a handful of those lately, but generally it had eased and sorted itself again. This was the sort of slightly feverish, tired, achiness that started after his dinner break. Later, he had just finished his rounds when he was standing at the nurses' station updating the next shift of nurses on the orders he had for his patients. He got one of those sort of warning feelings in his gut that he felt like he was going to be sick. He tried to ignore it and keep going, but it wasn't going to be ignored.

No one liked puking at work. He made it to the staff bathroom, so it wasn't anything hugely mortifying but because he had made the mad-dash in front of the team, Nate sat him down in a no-nonsense way when he came out and told him he was going home early. Richie tried to protest, but Nate wasn't the sort to take shit. He cared about the welfare of his colleagues, and he was Richie's supervisor. Once again, Adrian was out of town on business, Jeff was... somewhere doing Jeff shit that Richie had no idea of lately, which left his mom.

Nate was in Serious Business Boss Mode, and offered to call Richie's mom to come pick him up from work. Again, Richie tried to protest but soon reluctantly relinquished the protests. Nate called his mom and told Richie to go lie down in the Doctors' Lounge until she arrived. He was feeling a bit shivery and hot at the same time, and when his mom arrived, he was peeling his way out of his jacket he had put on to wait for him. "I feel like I'm back in school," he lamented.

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When Karla got the call from the hospital, her first thought had been that Richie had another bleed. Nate had let her know that wasn't the case, but that her boy was feeling poorly and had been sick. She had to admit, she was more than a little nervous, given that was how he'd ended up so ill when he'd first gone overseas with Adrian, but as it stood, he'd been sick once, and Nate said he was feeling off color, but lying down in the Doctors' Lounge to wait for her. She'd thanked her son's supervisor quickly before letting her office assistant know she'd be leaving early to go pick up Richie from work. No one in her practice questioned anything when it came to Richie, because he was, and always would be, Karla's number one priority.

By the time she arrived at the hospital, Richie was already looking the worse for wear, and she couldn't help the look of worry on her face. "Why, because your teacher-doctor called your mom when you got sick?" she asked as he was trying to peal out of the jacket he was on. "What happened, Richie? Nate just said you were ill, but that he had it in hand until I could get here to take you home. Are you running a fever?" She may have been a doctor with all the belief in the world in science and precise measurements, but with her baby boy, it all came down to mom skills and her wrist pressed to his forehead. "You're warm. Really warm."

It had been, amusingly, Lorenzo who had noticed Richie wasn't feeling so hot. In all his new brotherliness, he outright told Richie he 'Looked like shit' and asked why he was there. Holly was in for another couple of nights because she had actually been diagnosed with something that could ultimately be quite serious for an infant if it wasn't sorted out. It could be controlled and maintained, but they had to put her on a whole new diet and start some medications. It wasn't as overwhelming as it could have been because Lewis actually had one of the same allergies. They weren't blood related, so it was a simple twist of fate. Lorenzo was coping much better now he knew what was wrong and was being helped with what he had to do to keep his baby daughter well.

He got out of his jacket and gave his hand a shake to get the sleeve fully off. "Been run down, I guess. Started feeling crap after dinner and when I was signing off on my rounds, just started to feel really hot and nauseous. Need to start taking vitamins and going to the gym or some shit." Or it was probably more of a fact of needing to develop his immune system with his role as a practising Pediatrician. He had only been working here a few months, and even though all infection-control protocols were followed, kids still puked on you, or coughed on you, or worse. "I feel like shit, Momma."

Karla instantly scooped his jacket up and set it aside so it would be out of the way, before she sat down next to him. He was horribly pale, but with that feverish flush to his cheeks, and brightness to his eyes that she knew all too well from the too many times he’d caught bugs as a kid. Karla had often told patients at work that she never caught anything from her patients, but from her son, and it had been true, too. Richie had notoriously brought home every bug from school known to mankind, and if Karla was going to get sick, it would almost without fail be something that Richie brought home from school, not something one of her patients had brought it. Infection control was a big thing when you were a doctor, but it was just never quite as much on your radar when it was your baby who was sick.

“You look like you’re feeling like shit, baby,” Karla replied, brushing his messy curls back out of his face. “You have to take it easy on yourself. I know that you’re studying to be a pediatrician, and you have to do your rounds and everything, but you also have to take really good care of yourself. You’ll need to rest as much as you can when you’re not working. Your immunity will develop, but it will take time, too. Vitamins and the gym aren’t bad things, but until your body gets used to all of that, they’ll be a help, but not a cure for catching all the bugs.” She shook her head and leaned close to give him a kiss on his too-hot forehead. “We need to get you home and to bed,” she said. “You’ll come to my house until Adrian gets home. Nate won’t want you in here with a fever anyway.”

"Noooo..." Richie moaned when he stood up, face scrunching up. "I don't want him to know I'm sick. He's going to think I'm too high maintenance and get fed up because I'm some sort of sick magnet." He was being over-dramatic and borderline whiny at this point. Generally, he wasn't a whiner. He put up with the hand he had been dealt, but he was starting to worry Adrian was going to be all 'Oh, FFS, is this dude EVER well?!' That was a question he had been asking himself lately. He had a dry run for ages. Not a single bleed, or bug, or germ, or injury. Now he was like the walking wounded. But on the flipside, he had a new boyfriend who he was completely smitten with and wanted to spend a lot of time with. Only all this was really, really cramping his style.

They left the Doctors' Lounge and heading out through the ward to leave. A couple of the nurses stopped him and told him to go to bed and rest, reminding him to keep the fluids up. They passed Nate, who also told him to take care and he would call him to see how he was doing. But only after giving him a Serious Business look and telling him to do as he was told. His whole body was achy and his stomach was still upset. When they got to the elevator to wait for it to arrive on their floor, he stepped over to the wall and leaned against it heavily. He had been planning on visiting Lorenzo and Holly before he went home after his shift, but in light of the fact he clearly had some sort of bug, he sent Lorenzo a text and told him he had to give it a miss so he didn't pass anything on to Holly. "You know, you really should be getting busy with Carter instead of this."

"Honey, that's the last thing in the world Adrian is going to think," Karla reassured him. They weren't empty mom words just to make him feel better. She knew that Adrian would not only want to know that Richie wasn't well, but he'd want to get back to him as soon as he could to help take care of him. "Adrian's a sweetheart, and he adores you. He isn't going to suddenly decide you're too high maintenance for him and want you to fuck off." Once Richie was standing, Karla draped his jacket over her arm, and wrapped the other arm around his waist to give him a little extra support... and just out of a momly need to cuddle her baby when he wasn't feeling well. It was another thing that you never got past as a mom, especially when you were as close to your kid as Karla was to Richie.

"Carter and I haven't 'gotten busy' yet," she told him, though she couldn't deny she was wondering if that might be on the menu sooner rather than later. She really genuinely liked him, and he was the sort of person that she could see herself being with. She hadn't dated in a long time, and she didn't intend to continue dating anyone that she didn't feel a connection to, but with Carter, that connection was there, and it was something very sweet and special to her. "Besides, Carter's a dad who has a son who's been sick, too. He understands when I'm in Mom mode." The got onto the elevator, and Karla draped his jacket over his shoulders, because they'd be going out into the cold soon, and despite feeling feverish, the last thing the poor boy needed was to catch a chill when he was already sick and not feeling well. "We'll get you home and to your bed and you can rest. I think you need that probably more than anything else."

Richie was threading his fingers through his curly hair, which had been getting longer lately. When he was younger, he used to hate his curly hair. Adults would all say how adorable it was, but kids were shitheads, and he got teased for it quite a bit. That, and being small. Of course, he had three triplets always at the ready to run in and punch anyone who teased him, but that was beside the point. Now, he just grew into them maybe and it was easier than having to get his hair cut every other week because it was long and the curls sprouted when it was more than an inch long. "I just... you know," he said, somehow expecting his mom to have Mom ESP on this one. She did a lot of the time, so he had to give her that, but without any elaboration, she had little to work with.

He could feel his cheeks burning from the fever and his scrubs felt restricting. "Just after the bullshit with my last relationship, I don't want to fuck this one up. Not that I think he's a cheater. He wouldn't do that, but he might find someone better and less of a pain in the ass. He's busy, he works hard. He's telling movie stars what to do on a daily basis and earning millions for it. As a side note, his brother used to be a supermodel and is the Fashion Editor for FABULOUS, and he's got me as a boyfriend. Who bleeds a lot and pukes and is a perfect height for blow-jobs, but what else?" That had been a running joke since he had started to date Adrian, and Adrian surprised him at work after his last business trip. Adrian was pushing 6'2" and Richie was lucky to have scraped a 5'6". But Richie liked that heigh difference. "Mom, what are you waiting for? Ask him in for coffee one night. You know, coffee," he emphasised, waggling his eyebrows suggestively but tiredly at his mom.

Karla did sort of get where Richie was coming from, even if she couldn't exactly one hundred percent be sure what specific thing he was talking about, she knew her boy, and she knew that Adrian had quickly come to mean the world to him. The thought of losing him would break Richie's heart, and she didn't blame him at all for that. But deep down, Karla had known from the moment she met Adrian that he wasn't going anywhere. He loved Richie, and that much was utterly clear. She gave his back a gentle rub, letting him know that, despite the lack of elaboration, she did understand where he was coming from. She knew how badly he'd been hurt in the past, and going through that again would rip him apart.

"I know where your head is, baby. But Adrian's not that kind of person. He loves you dearly, and I don't think that you being sick is going to change his mind about it. Besides all that, you don't ordinarily have random bleeds and puke a lot. You're building up your immunity, and you'll get there. In the meantime, I don't think Adrian's the sort to duck out on you. You're not being a pain in the ass. You're being human. We get sick. It's a thing we do. You're training to be a pediatrician, sweetie. You're coming in contact with weird and wonderful bugs every day. Adrian knew what you did for a living when you met." She had to laugh at Richie's far from subtle suggestion, and shook her head. "When you're in your twenties, isn't your one-track mind supposed to be about getting yourself laid?" she asked, arching an eyebrow in amusement. This was her boy, and he did genuinely care about her. "Maybe after our next date. We'll see," she said, reaching over to ruffle his curls out of motherly habit.

Richie's nose was scrunching up when they got into the elevator and he went back to leaning against the nearest wall. He didn't mean to be harbouring all these insecurities because, in a way, it was belittling Adrian's commitment to him. It was unfair to even slightly compare what he had with him to what he had with his ex. But he was scared, because it did mean a lot to him. He just had a run of bad luck with his health, and there was the one time he had the big bleed because of what happened with Zed. Zoran. Whoever he was. It happened, and that was just a by-product. Faced with the same situation again, he would do the same. "I just don't want to be a pain in anyone's ass."

"I am getting myself laid. I mean, not right now, but when he's here, it's awesome. Might even be the best I've ever had," he mused, now that he was thinking about it. It didn't have anything to do with Adrian's skills in the bedroom, but they certainly weren't at all lacking. It was about the feelings involved. Adrian was so tender, kind, and a very generous lover. He gave as much as he received, which had been absent in Richie's last relationship for awhile before it all crashed and burned. Even when they weren't having sex, and were just being intimate, it felt the same as if they were outright sleeping together. All of this were things he would normally have talked to Jeff about, but Jeff could go eat his own balls for all Richie cared right now. "It's just nice. I want you to have the same. You've never had it before."

"You're not a pain in anyone's ass, baby," Karla promised him. "At least, not since you were 10 and wouldn't go to bed because you were too excited to play with a new Lego set. You were a pretty major pain in my ass, then. But your being sick has never been a pain in the ass. You're human, baby. Most humans go through rough patches with their health for one reason or another. I'm sure Adrian's been sick before, too. He doesn't seem like the type of guy who would write off a guy he seems to really, truly care for over that." Still, she knew that her baby had been hurt before by a relationship, and she wasn't about to judge him for being afraid. "I know what happened before really hurt you, sweetheart. But I don't think Adrian would ever hurt you like that."

Karla had to smile at that. She and Richie didn't keep secrets from each other, and he was never one of those kids who wouldn't talk about sex with his mom. She'd bought him his first box of condoms, and given him the sex talk, but it had never been one of those sit down and draw diagrams things. Karla and Richie had always just had an open dialogue about any and everything that either of them felt the need to talk about, and ultimately, Karla felt it had been incredibly beneficial to them along the way. They were a team, in thick and thin, and they always would be. "Well, that's good to hear," she told him. "I'm glad to hear my baby is being treated right. If I'm being honest... I never let myself want anything like that until I met Carter. He makes me think about and want things that I had LONG ago decided weren't going to be a thing for me. He's a sweetheart. A good person, and a good father. I'm really enjoying dating him." And ultimately, she did hope it would develop into a nice, deep relationship.

As shit as it was, Richie's condition did have a pattern of ups and downs. When he was first diagnosed, he was bleeding all the time. Luckily his mom and grandpa had the same blood type as he did, because they both, to this day, give blood to keep him in transfusions. If he had a bleed, one of them would go in to donate blood, or both, if needed. Sometimes it was bad enough that he needed even more than that. Then it could go dormant for a little while and he would have none. It was just kind of ass that it had to flare up now while he was trying to start a new relationship and was falling pretty damn hard. It just also coincided with a lot of stress, which didn't make his condition worse, but if he was run down and picked up bugs like gastro or the flu, sneezing, throwing up, coughing, all of that could cause small bleeds that could turn into monsters because his type of hemophilia was classified as severe. Meaning, when he bled, he bled a lot and it time for the bleeds to ease. "I know he wouldn't, but at the same time, this can't be pleasant grounds for a new dating life."

It was true, when he was well, the sex with Adrian had been incredible. Mindblowing and breathtaking. Their first night together, Richie would never forget. He just hadn't had that deeper connection to anyone before, and certainly not his ex. They had sex, but it wasn't amazing and addicting like this. He was rubbing at his eyes tiredly, the same way he did when he was a toddler that was always the sign for his mom that he needed a nap, even if he spent a good portion of his toddler years fighting both naps and re-diapering. "I know you're scared, Momma. I do. I get it. But after stuff with Zed and meeting Lorenzo and hearing what he's been through, life's a pretty a pretty awesome thing to have. And having someone special really just makes it all that more great. Sex is good. It feels really good," he said with a shrug.

“No, I can understand that,” Karla said, giving Richie a nod. It wasn’t the best footing to start things off with in a relationship, but maybe there was a benefit to seeing the worst in the early days. There was nothing like sickness and rough times to really show you what someone was made of, and so far, Adrian had proven to be sweet, understanding, and loving when it came to Richie’s illness. He didn’t seem to see it as a reason to back out of the relationship. In fact, she’d been impressed beyond measure at how tenderly and sweetly Adrian had looked after Richie, even going so far as to fly her in to be there for him because he’d never had to be sick without his mother. “But sometimes, I think starting things off in the midst of a rough time really shows you what things are made of right up.” Maybe she couldn’t really be sure of that, since it had been so long since she’d had a relationship of any kind romantically, but she knew what she saw in Adrian’s eyes when he looked at Richie. She knew that there was love and an intense connection there, and though Richie feared that he would prove to be too much of a pain in the ass, Karla didn’t get that feeling at all.

It was a strange change of roles in some way… her son giving her this sort of advice. But it was just a testament to how close they’d always been, and how much Richie cared for her and wanted her to be happy. The two of them had been together through thick and thin, seeing each other through a lot of things, but Richie had never seen Karla date, because she hadn’t. Dating made her nervous… No, nervous wasn’t really the word. Richie had hit the nail on the head. Karla was scared. Dating came with sex and sex came with facing things she hadn’t been able to face in over twenty years. She loved Richie, and she was incredibly grateful that he was in her life, but the way he’d been conceived would never stop be a traumatizing memory for her. It was hard to associate sex with love, and intimacy, and feeling good after what had been done to her. But she knew deep down that it was. She hadn’t been a virgin the night she was raped. She’d had good sex before, in the long ago past that felt like another world… another Karla. “Have I ever told you how proud I am of you?” she finally said to her son. “You’re so wise for someone so young. I know sweetie. I do. I’m terrified, but I like Carter. I think I’m… Letting myself want things with him that I didn’t think I’d ever let myself want again. It’s just a lot to take in.”

Richie had shoved his hand up under his scrubs shirt and was rubbing his stomach while he used the wall to keep him upright. He wasn't sure how he had gotten this far into his shift when he had started off feeling tired as it was. He had a full caseload too and he was still learning about case-planning, how to determine which patient took precedence, who he could delegate, and who he might need to refer for joint management if there was more than one diagnosis. He loved his job, and knew this was what he was made to do, but when you weren't well, it was exhausting and stressful. "I've got these horrible images of going to one of his business dinners and suddenly shooting blood all over the expensive people like some sort of horror movie. Sure, but not everyone randomly bleeds, and a lot, and is trying to date a movie-making superstar in the middle of it all. Which is okay. It is. I just don't want to keep disrupting him or being precious where he starts to think, shit, I can't get any work without him calling me up and bitching about being sick." Not that he did that. He was one of those people who minimised what he was going through because he didn't want people to think he was complaining.

"But is it really a lot to take in?" he asked when the elevator got to the ground floor with a ding. He pushed away from the wall when the doors swung open and he stepped out after his mom. "I mean, it only has to be a lot if you make it a lot. Dating someone's really pretty simple. If you find someone who matches you, anyway. If it turns bad, it's not simple and it hurts. But you're not a teenager or anything. I don't think Carter's going to run around cheating on you with people online and calling you a bitch behind your back all over social media. You've both got grown up kids, you both work, and you're both nice people. Is it really a lot to take in, or is it how easy it seems that is scaring you?"

"You make it sound like a scene out of Carrie," Karla replied, shaking her head. But she knew that this was all because Richie did care so deeply for Adrian. He didn't want to screw this up or hurt this person that he'd fallen for by somehow damaging his career or just generally being a pain in the ass, but Karla knew that Adrian didn't see Richie as a pain in the ass. He loved him. He wanted to look after him. "It's not being precious when you're really sick. And we both know that you're the least likely to be bitching about being sick. Hell, if it weren't for the fact that your boss called me, I wouldn't have known you were sick at all. You're not a whiner, baby. We all know that." He was her baby, and she just couldn't resist momming him along the way when he needed it. He would whine to Karla if he really needed to have a whine, but even that wasn't the most common thing. He didn't like it. It wasn't his way, but when he did, he knew that Karla was a safe person to get his whine on with.

Karla looked at her son, arching an eyebrow at how easily and quickly he'd found the root of the problem here. She hadn't even truly come to the conclusion herself, but Richie had, and now she was just staring at him in surprise. "I... Think that's exactly it," she confessed. "I think it's how easy it is that terrifies me. He's so kind and easy to talk to. It seems like nothing should be that easy, and if I get too comfortable with it, it's sure to blow up in my face. That probably sounds stupid. But Carter's wonderful. He's handsome and charming, but not the kind of charming when you know he's trying to charm you. The kind of charming where he's just genuinely sweet and it makes you like being around him. He's been through a lot himself, and he talks about it... Makes me feel like it's okay to talk about the things I've been through, too."

Edited 2015-11-24 17:18 (UTC)

"It could be," Richie pointed out. Maybe there was a touch of drama queen happening here because he was sick, but in all honesty, some of the worst bleeds he had since his diagnosis had been a pretty horrific sight. That first time, there was blood everywhere and he had been terrified. He nearly screamed the whole place down. The whole throwing up blood was a horrible thing to experience and to see, for anyone who was around him. His condition was quite controlled, though. And if he had flare ups of it, there were other regimes in order for emergency treatment that helped him. "I'm just still not quite sure why he wants me, out of all the people in the world he could have. He's bi, so that sort of doubles the ratio of options too. Not that I'm saying I'm a bad person. I'm not. I've been raised better than that, but I think I'm just average, in general."

He shrugged a little. "I realise this is going to sound epic hypocritical considering what I'm worrying about myself, but don't overthink it, Mom. If it's all that easy and feels right, just roll with it. Just enjoy it. If he seems like a nice guy, chances are, he is one. He might be lonely too. I think that's what it's all about. If you can talk, and there's no one being passive-aggressive or self-centred, then it means there's some chemistry there. But if you don't just go for it, you might lose the chance. Don't forget, he probably quite the eligible bachelor, all things considered. But you're the one he's comfortable talking to."

Karla was more than used to Richie's drama queen side. She'd been his mom a long time now, and he'd had that drama queen streak since he was tiny. She could still remember more than one argument dominated by his baby sassy bitch, and it had definitely been no surprise when he'd gotten older and come out. "It could be, but the likelihood is pretty low," Karla countered. "I could stand here and list off about a million reasons he'd want you out of all people, but you'd just roll your eyes and give me that 'Mooooom' look that you give me, so I'll save my breath. But that being said, baby, he's already chosen you. Out of everyone in the world, he's chosen you. He doesn't care about his options. You're the only option he wants, so clearly you're above average to him."

"He's lovely. Being around him is nice, and he's been nothing but easy to talk to. I'm enjoying it. He isn't passive aggressive or self-centered at all. He's actually wonderful, and I can't deny the chemistry. On our first date, he told me I was beautiful. Not that I looked nice, but that I'm beautiful. I don't want to lose the chance with him. He's lovely. He's the first guy I've met in... decades, really, that I could honestly say I could see myself with for the long term."

"This whole me and him is out of a very low likelihood. People like him don't usually just stumble across people like me and something amazing spark from it. I'm just really aware of that. I'm not saying he's too good for me. I don't think that. Because if not me, someone else out there would have him, and they can kiss my ass because he's mine." So, there was most certainly a possessive streak in Richie when it came to Adrian. He couldn't help it. He hadn't ever really felt like that in a relationship before, so it was a sign this time, it was a lot more special than the other times. Which would make sense, seeing as the other times all failed. Not that he was the one being dumped all the time, he had ended a couple of relationships himself because he didn't get that nervous thrill in his belly that he couldn't label but seemed a big deciding factor. He had that with Adrian, and he felt it that first night at Adrian's apartment when they shared their first kiss that turned into some incredibly hot sex.

He was listening to his mom and he was about to reply when he broke into a pretty intense sneezing fit when they got outside and cool air hit him. In fact, he sneezed so much he started to dry heave and he was leaning over trying to catch his breath and decide if he was about throw up again. Not a good look for a doctor in scrubs to be standing out there looking like he was infected with the plague himself. He stood up again, holding his hand up. "False ala--" he began but cut himself off with three more sneezes. He found a pack of Kleenex in his bag and took some out to wipe his eyes and nose. "It's the little things, Momma. The little things people take for granted and don't realise are special until it's all gone. The little things make up the big things. But if the little things keep going real nice, sex is kind of inevitable."

Karla couldn't help smirking just a little at that possessive side of her son. He was definitely head over for Adrian, and it was really sweet to see. "Anyone who's seen the way he looks at you wouldn't question for a minute that he's yours, sweetie," Karla told him, kissing the top of his head, something that hadn't gotten any harder for her to do since he'd become an adult. He'd never gotten to be very tall, which in a way, was kind of special for her as a mom. He was an adult, but he was still not too big for those comforting, mom things. "It's been really special for me to see you finding happiness with someone who loves and respects you as much as Adrian clearly does. Which is what you deserve, kiddo. I love him because it's clear how much he loves you, and I love seeing you treated the way you should be... loved up and happy. It's gorgeous, honey. And you deserve it."

It was clear that her boy was sick, and Karla hated seeing it... even more so when she worried about the possibility of bleeds, like what had happened when he was overseas with Adrian. "I think maybe you're just allergic to work," she teased him with a grin. "I know the little things are really what matter most, kiddo. And the little things with Carter have been so lovely. He's been so sweet and understanding, and incredibly open about his own experiences as a parent, and just in general. He's kind and generous, and I've honestly treasured all the time I've been able to spend with him. I don't want it to stop." She paused, thoughtful for a moment. "I think I could be okay having sex with him. Not that it isn't a little scary to take in, but... somehow he kind of makes that bit of it less scary."

When you had your heartbroken, it wasn't always easy to think about trying the dating game again. Richie just hadn't wanted to get involved again. He had thought he was cool with that. He loved his job, he had a lot of friends. He wasn't sure he could have considered himself 'looking'. Which is exactly when Adrian had just come into his life, and without a single iota of romantic intent. It had been innocent intentions and neither of them had been setting out to find a date that night. Even once they started talking, that intent wasn't there. The spark had come a little later in the evening when Richie caught himself just gazing at Adrian as he talked. Then he had caught Adrian doing the same back to him, and it was a heated kiss that had started everything. Neither of them was the 'instigator'. It happened naturally, they both wanted it and it turned into a pretty intense night of passion once it became obvious there was a lot of physical attraction and arousal that had sparked between them. "He just feels nice. He gives amazing cuddles. I've never had that sort of, I don't know, physical connection. Not on this level. He just one of the sweetest people I've ever met. That's not the rose-coloured horny glasses talking either. He's sweet with everyone, not just me, and that's really, really hot to me."

The sneezing left him sounding congested and his throat was really starting to feel like he had swallowed glass. He was glad when a cab pulled up for them because he wanted to be somewhere warm and comfortable right now, maybe with a cup of tea and a hot water bottle, because all those sorts of things couldn't hurt when you were feeling shitty. "Just when I was getting used to the pay cheque too," he joked, climbing into the cab and scooting across to the other side. "You're swapping parent stories. Holy shit, poor dude having that inflicted on him. I'm still waiting for grandpa to start spilling all my embarrassing secrets to Adrian. Mom, rape is scary. Sex isn't. I mean, crap sex can be borderline scary and you wonder why you wasted those life minutes, but good sex feels really great when it's with someone special."

"I just remember after the last relationship, how much that broke your heart. But Adrian felt different to me from day one. Granted, he sort of won me over from the start when he brought me across an ocean to be with you when you were sick. At that point, I was pretty much sold. And I saw how he interacted, not only with you, but with the doctors and nurses who were caring for you, and he was incredibly kind and polite. Even though he was worried about you, he was never short or snappy with anyone. That, in and of itself, says a lot to me, both as a mom, and as a medical professional. How you treat the people caring for your loved ones says a lot about your character." She meant that, too. She was incredibly grateful that a guy like Adrian had walked into Richie's life when he did, totally unexpectedly. If it had been set up as a date, Richie probably wouldn't have gone through with it, afraid to get back into the dating game. But as it had happened, it hadn't been something that Richie could preempt and put a stop to before it happened. And that was probably precisely how it had managed to work out for them. "I know you're not seeing through rose-colored horny glasses, for the record, too. You love him. He's not just a fuck buddy."

Karla crawled into the car behind Richie, snapping into her seatbelt before she gave the driver the address to her house. It would be a pricey cab fare, but she didn't care. It was most important to her to get Richie home as quickly as possible and get him off to bed for a good rest, which he very clearly needed. "It's really too bad," she joked back. "We're going to have to give you a more hypoallergenic job, clearly." She shook her head, but took Richie's teasing with a grain of salt. "Yes. That's what old people do. Swap parenting stories. Oh, he'll get to. Just you wait. Grandpa never misses a good chance to tell your embarrassing secrets. Or show off nudie pics. But honestly, I'm not afraid that Carter would hurt me. I know he wouldn't. I'm a pretty good judge of character. I just... Haven't been that intimate with someone in so long that I'm not sure... I don't know. It's a change. A big one. And probably a good one, but it's still a shake up."

Richie nodded because he couldn't argue with that. "Sure, but maybe this is one of those situations where I was put through hell to know exactly how to adore and appreciate my true love when he finally stumbled across my path. No one's life is perfectly balanced. I tried the love thing before, and it was wrong for me. I wish I had seen it sooner to I didn't waste as much time on it as I did, but it's a new start now. There is nothing like this with Adrian than it was with my asshole ex. He's just in a different realm. Right from the first moment I met him outside that auction, he just felt right. Not that I immediately took him at face value. I was really hesitant and thought he was playing at something. Then I discovered he wasn't. At all. He was going to respectfully walk away. And yeah, I know we slept together the first night I met him, but it wasn't some sordid one night stand. We talked for hours first, and it was just a natural spark. It felt right. It still feels right. Sometimes great sex just automatically goes hand-in-hand with an amazing person. Hell, that's probably why the sex was great."

He was shivering and leaned forward to the driver. "Do you mind turning the heat up a little. If it's not too much of a pain in the butt." Thankfully the driver was obliging and told Richie it was no bother. Sometimes, you could get cab drivers who were angry bastards where everything was a goddamn effort. "If all goes according to plan, I'm going to chug OJ all night and wake up tomorrow feeling perfectly fine. It doesn't really have to be a change or a shake up, Momma. Maybe it can just be something really, really nice that happens naturally and makes you feel good?"

“I guess ultimately happiness isn’t quite as strong when you have nothing to compare it to,” Karla admitted. “When you’ve been heartbroken and at the end of your rope, there is no limit to the incredible amount of happiness that you can feel, and how much more you feel it because you can compare it to something that doesn’t feel amazing.” If she were honest with herself, that’s what she was feeling with Carter. The total opposite of the horrible things she’d felt in her life, of which there were many: being raped, suffering post-partum depression, the feeling of total disconnect looking her beautiful baby boy in the eyes, and fearing that almost every man she met for the first few years would harm her. Then there was Richie growing up, and not being able to talk to him about sex the way a “normal” parent would, but feeling the need to warn him about how awful some people could be and how they used sex for power and for harm. But things like seeing her baby boy growing into a beautiful man, becoming a doctor himself, those things were beautiful, and she treasured them that much more because of having been through the pain to get here. “I would really like to hope that’s true. Because if I have sex with Carter… When I have sex with Carter, I hope it feels as nice as it sounds like it is for you and Adrian.”

Karla gave the driver a small smile, grateful that he was being so accommodating for her sick kiddo. “I hope that’s how it works out. We have to get you rested up and well ASAP. But I think you’re right. It doesn’t have to be scary. Carter isn’t scary. He’s incredibly sweet and kind. I can’t believe sometimes that I’m actually dating someone as amazing as him.”

"Unless you love being miserable, in which case, I guess you do everything in your power to avoid people making you happy in case they succeed and you don't have anything to moan about anymore," Richie said with a shrug. As much as he wish he hadn't, he had met people like that and they just made him wonder a great big WTF. They were also awkward to be around, because no matter what came out of your mouth, they always had some sort of problem. That was what he was worried he might sound like with Adrian, and it was stressing him out because he wasn't like that. He had a run of bad luck, and sometimes, his condition just flared up and there could be a few bleeds in a row until his body balanced itself again. That was just the way the wind blew with what he had. "I know being happy all the time isn't possible. Everyone has bad days, and everyone has even worse days than that. But with Adrian, my worse days, he's wanted to be there for me and I worry it's made him feel obligated. I don't know. Maybe my brain is just too full of snot to think rationally. Oh, we've upgraded to when, have we?" he asked in amusement.

"You know what I learned yesterday? The Beaumont Unit in the kids' ward for children with progressive diseases is named after Carter and his family because they funded the whole unit to be launched at our hospital. It was some multi-million dollar project initially and now kids from all over the country come there to have their treatment, a lot of which is developed by his company, to try to slow the progression of what they have. It's got everything from Musical and Art Therapists to experimental child psychology programs. I had no idea it was them until Nate told me when I mentioned to him you were dating Carter. There's a six degrees of separation thing there. Nate's husband was raped by the same cunt who raped Harley's cousin, Liam," he explained.

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

"I'll sleep when I'm dead."

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