“No, I can understand that,” Karla said, giving Richie a nod. It wasn’t the best footing to start things off with in a relationship, but maybe there was a benefit to seeing the worst in the early days. There was nothing like sickness and rough times to really show you what someone was made of, and so far, Adrian had proven to be sweet, understanding, and loving when it came to Richie’s illness. He didn’t seem to see it as a reason to back out of the relationship. In fact, she’d been impressed beyond measure at how tenderly and sweetly Adrian had looked after Richie, even going so far as to fly her in to be there for him because he’d never had to be sick without his mother. “But sometimes, I think starting things off in the midst of a rough time really shows you what things are made of right up.” Maybe she couldn’t really be sure of that, since it had been so long since she’d had a relationship of any kind romantically, but she knew what she saw in Adrian’s eyes when he looked at Richie. She knew that there was love and an intense connection there, and though Richie feared that he would prove to be too much of a pain in the ass, Karla didn’t get that feeling at all.
It was a strange change of roles in some way… her son giving her this sort of advice. But it was just a testament to how close they’d always been, and how much Richie cared for her and wanted her to be happy. The two of them had been together through thick and thin, seeing each other through a lot of things, but Richie had never seen Karla date, because she hadn’t. Dating made her nervous… No, nervous wasn’t really the word. Richie had hit the nail on the head. Karla was scared. Dating came with sex and sex came with facing things she hadn’t been able to face in over twenty years. She loved Richie, and she was incredibly grateful that he was in her life, but the way he’d been conceived would never stop be a traumatizing memory for her. It was hard to associate sex with love, and intimacy, and feeling good after what had been done to her. But she knew deep down that it was. She hadn’t been a virgin the night she was raped. She’d had good sex before, in the long ago past that felt like another world… another Karla. “Have I ever told you how proud I am of you?” she finally said to her son. “You’re so wise for someone so young. I know sweetie. I do. I’m terrified, but I like Carter. I think I’m… Letting myself want things with him that I didn’t think I’d ever let myself want again. It’s just a lot to take in.”
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It was a strange change of roles in some way… her son giving her this sort of advice. But it was just a testament to how close they’d always been, and how much Richie cared for her and wanted her to be happy. The two of them had been together through thick and thin, seeing each other through a lot of things, but Richie had never seen Karla date, because she hadn’t. Dating made her nervous… No, nervous wasn’t really the word. Richie had hit the nail on the head. Karla was scared. Dating came with sex and sex came with facing things she hadn’t been able to face in over twenty years. She loved Richie, and she was incredibly grateful that he was in her life, but the way he’d been conceived would never stop be a traumatizing memory for her. It was hard to associate sex with love, and intimacy, and feeling good after what had been done to her. But she knew deep down that it was. She hadn’t been a virgin the night she was raped. She’d had good sex before, in the long ago past that felt like another world… another Karla. “Have I ever told you how proud I am of you?” she finally said to her son. “You’re so wise for someone so young. I know sweetie. I do. I’m terrified, but I like Carter. I think I’m… Letting myself want things with him that I didn’t think I’d ever let myself want again. It’s just a lot to take in.”