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[laluchadora]

There is nothing on earth that hurts more than watching the people you love most suffer through hell on earth.

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[strips4u]

Which one?

[laluchadora]

Emilio. Cole. Both of them right now. I can't imagine for a minute what Emilio's going through and how he feels about everything, but Cole... I've been where he is, at least with withdrawals, and it's miserable.

[strips4u]

I don't think many people still alive have been where Cole is. That's the worrying part. If he doesn't get clean, he'll be dead.

[laluchadora]

This is kind of his last chance. If he uses again, there won't be another time to get clean.

[strips4u]

No, he'll top himself. He told me that last time he was trashed.

[laluchadora]

Seriously? Christ. Ordinarily, I'd want anyone who did what he did to Emilio to die a long and painful death. It's not as easy when he's my best friend.

[strips4u]

Can't really blame him, though. He's lost everything.

[laluchadora]

Everything except Emilio, which I can't decide how I feel about. Ultimately, it's not my choice, but if he hits my brother again, I can't promise anything about what I might do.

[strips4u]

What do mean, Emilio? They haven't spoken in months.

[laluchadora]

Emilio's gone to see him. He went along with me. I have a patient at the same rehab as Cole's at.

[strips4u]

Oh fuck. This could either end horrifically or really well.

[laluchadora]

I'm not sure which it's going to be, but I'm hoping like hell it's the latter.

[strips4u]

Cole's track record probably negates those chances.

[laluchadora]

Did I ever mention that one of my biggest turn ons is people who tell me the truth and not what I want to hear? that's probably why I fell for you.

[strips4u]

Who's telling you what you want to hear? I don't give a fuck what people think of what I say. You only live once.

[laluchadora]

Certainly not you, hon. You've always been painfully honest with me since day one.

[strips4u]

Who, then?

[laluchadora]

No one at the moment. I was more just appreciating the fact that you don't.

[strips4u]

Sure? You seemed to be drawing on experience. Or are we talking Cole here?

[laluchadora]

One of these days, I'm going to figure out that you read people better than I give you credit for. Yeah, it's Cole.

[strips4u]

What's he done now?

[laluchadora]

Nothing lately. He's too sick to do anything right now... Withdrawals like a motherfucker. It's mostly the fact that I know the signs of relapse. I know the signs of what he's done. But because I care about him, I wanted to believe the best, and he kept feeding me the lines. The same stupid lines that I know are bullshit, but I wanted to believe because it was Cole. Then again, that's probably more my fault than his.

[strips4u]

You don't have to worry about that anymore. I told you I'd watch out for him when you wanted to cut him loose after what he did to Emilio.

[laluchadora]

It still blows my mind how everything can be going so well, and then go to hell in a handbag with one moment. It's something I know, but it's hard as hell to wrap my head around sometimes.

[strips4u]

It wasn't ever really going well, though. Cole in rehab and Emilio nearly dying in a car crash wasn't well, so it was never going to work out in a happily ever after. Just be real with yourself, babe. The world won't explode. Sometimes, situations are just shit.

[laluchadora]

Why is it that it's so damn easy to be real with my patients and want them to be real with themselves, but when it comes to my life, and the people I love, I want to make with the rose-colored glasses??

[strips4u]

Because you're not living their life. You feel like a failure in your job because Cole didn't stay clean, you feel like a failure as a sister because he hurt Emilio.

[laluchadora]

Well... Fuck. And here I was thinking I was decent at hiding my feelings.

[strips4u]

They big boys. They can even wipe their own asses. Besides, Emilio seems happy right now.

[laluchadora]

He and Pres are sweet together. I'm still kind of shocked they haven't slept together yet, but if they're happy, I'm happy. Cole's about the furthest thing you can be from happy, though.

[strips4u]

I spoke to Pres about that. There's reasons behind it. Cole's damaged, happy takes energy he doesn't have right now.

[laluchadora]

That's what he said... It made sense when he told me that. We can worry about the other shit after he gets clean. Clean comes first.

[strips4u]

If he gets clean. He can check himself out any time he likes.

[laluchadora]

Yeah. If he gets clean. That's no easy task, and it's not a foregone conclusion.

[strips4u]

I gave them all our numbers in case of emergency. I guess a lot of it will be telling on what Emilio says to him.

[laluchadora]

Good. I hope that conversation goes as well as it can, but I'm not putting any expectations on them.

[strips4u]

I don't think any conversation with Cole has the ability to go 'well' right now.

[laluchadora]

No. Not really. It's going to be worse before there's even a chance it gets better.

[strips4u]

I don't know how the Presley factor is going to go down either.

[laluchadora]

My guess is, not very well. I know that Cole will know, at least on some level, that he can't just expect Emilio to wait around and hope he gets clean. But I still don't think it's going to be the easiest conversation ever. Then again, that was a foregone conclusion when it was a conversation between Emilio and his ex who's going through withdrawals and hit him once... So there's that.

[strips4u]

Did you introduce Pre to Emilio because you wanted to make up for what happened to him with Cole?

[laluchadora]

No.

Yes...

I don't know, maybe.