"Last chance, honey..."

[starttomakeitbetter]

Who? Jude Willis and Reecy Chester
What? Give me just one more chance
When? After Lorenzo's text, late evening
Where? Reecy's apartment

Jude knew that this was a last chance thing, without a doubt. If he didn't get this right with Reecy now, he'd lose her forever, and with damn good reason. In the end, they didn't know each other all that well, but Jude knew that she was an amazing person, and one deserving of being treated like a princess, not like an afterthought. It wasn't fair to expect her to accept sub-par treatment from him, and if he were honest, that wasn't what Jude wanted to give her either. He wanted her to feel special and amazing... things she really was and the things that Jude had been attracted to in the first place.

So he'd stopped at one of his favorite restaurants and ordered enough food for two before picking up a small bouquet of daisies, and then heading to Reecy's apartment. He remembered where it was from having stopped by there to grab her an extra change of clothes when she'd stayed with them after the abortion. And as soon as she opened the door, Jude was speaking, knowing that there was a very valid part of her that might want to close it in his face. "Reecy, I know I have fucked up royally a million times over, and I know you probably want to slam that door in my face right now, but all I'm asking is a little time to talk... I brought food and flowers, and I realized when I was buying them that I don't know yet what your favorite flowers and foods are, and I want to know all of that. You're a special person, Reecy, and I want to make you feel that way. I know I don't deserve another chance, and I wouldn't fault you for telling me to go fuck myself. All I'm asking is for this one last chance, and if you're still feeling like it's not the right thing, I'll bow out. It's up to you."

Comments

[starttomakeitbetter]

Reecy was an amazing person, and Jude had the weirdest feeling that he was falling in love with her with every passing moment. Maybe it was cheesy and cliche, but she was his exception in every conceivable way, evidenced by the way they were sitting here, close together, Jude letting her be close to him, touch him. He needed this... the reminder that not all touch was bad, and that in fact, some of it was very good -- very special and above all that? Welcome. "You know... despite the tragedy of what happened to your dad, both of your dads were incredibly lucky to have a love like that," Jude mused, still holding onto Reecy's hand. "And I'm pretty damn lucky they did, too, because it made them want a family together, and that's why you're here. Grief is different for everyone, I think. But you're right. Some people just... You lose them, but you don't ever let them go. I think it's good, though... to remember them and hold onto the bits of them that we have." He shifted a little, resting his cheek on top of her head as he held her close. This wasn't anything Jude had ever expected to find for himself... especially after how everything else had gone with them both lately.

"That's probably not a bad idea," Jude agreed softly. Reecy was incredibly wise for someone who'd so strongly doubted herself before, and Jude couldn't help being impressed by her even more. The first night when they'd met and slept together, it had been a purely physical thing. She was a sexy little thing, no doubt, petite and gorgeous... Feisty and full of life to the point that he'd been trawling for dick that night and hooked up with her instead. Their night together had definitely been booze-fueled, but Jude had certainly had a great time with her. She honestly had a great sense of fun that just stood out to him. And the next time he'd seen her, she'd knocked the shit out of his face which had only managed to make him like her more. She had certain expectations from a relationship... namely the expectation to be treated with respect, and Jude had appreciated that about her, too. And it had been a hell of a long journey here, but here they were, and now that they'd gotten this far, Jude had no intentions of letting go of her again. "He's a great kid from what I hear. I was really impressed with him when I met him. He's smart, quick... Definitely a hard worker and he has more talent in his little finger than most people have in their whole body. It makes me sick that fucker hurt him, too, no matter to what extent. Anyone who's close to him should be trying to help keep him safe, not hurting him." Jude honestly felt like he could watch her smile forever and be happy with it, and that might have sounded stupid, but it was true. "It's okay," he teased, turning so that she could see his face. "I'm happy with what I have, but I'm nowhere near as hung as Lewis is." He laughed, but his face showed seriousness as he nodded at her requests. "I want to be with you. Occasionally sleeping with Clitty or Lew and Renz doesn't mean that I want to just sleep with everyone. And I don't really. I don't feel comfortable with it, and honestly, I'm with you. If you're open to me still screwing around with them, that's awesome, and I probably will, because those guys are some of my best friends, and that's sort of how our relationships started. But other than them, there's really not anyone else I want to be with. I want to be faithful to you. I want you to be my girlfriend at the end of the day. And as far as getting off on gay sex, I'd be willing to bet Clitty wouldn't be ashamed to have an exhibition for you." He shook his head with a laugh. "He jerks off over his wife getting down and dirty with other women. Ultimately, I just want us to be happy together and have something that works for us. Other people can think what they think, but other people aren't us, and they're not living our lives. So they have no right whatsoever to judge."

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Reecy nodded. "They were. I guess that's why I always had high expectations and standards for love. I'm no innocent by any means. I'm not some perfect little princess who will only settle for princes and fairy tales. I didn't even like half the Disney movies when I was a kid. The chicks always pissed me off, being all moony-eyed over dudes that didn't seem to have a clue about them, and how bad their lives were until the prince came and saved the day. But Dad raised me how they both always wanted to, and it was to teach me that I deserved to be respected and loved, and if someone wanted to love me that way I loved them, I wasn't imposed obligations to them. My Dad said that isn't how love works. It's a two-way street. It's give and take. Sometimes, someone needs to take more than they can give, and sometimes you need to give more than you take. But it should all still balance out. Problems are shared, no one should feel like a lesser person for the other person's gain. And sex should just be natural, the physical side of the love, not an expectation or responsibility. At of the time these days, I wonder how he managed to still teach me all that single-handedly because it can't have been an easy gig when already there was a lot of judgement of gay couples and their choices back then. He admits that some days it all felt too much and he felt like he wasn't enough for me."

She laughed fondly, unable to help it, despite the heaviness of the situation. "This is why he gets along so well with Billy. They're similar. Both bright sparks with a wicked sense of humour. Which is why it has been so fucking hard on everyone to witness them in pain, crumbling under it all. The thing is, we can tell when Justin's not quite well. We've learnt how to help him, when he wants help, when help might make him worse. We know not to get on his case if he seems all over the place. Sometimes, it's better for him to just focus on getting through the show because it actually keeps him balanced. Knowing that someone has destroyed all that, shattered all the pieces the kid has worked so hard to pick up, it's horrific." She went right back to laughing about Lewis. "Lewis is a sassy one. He might seem like the cool, calm and collected sort, and he is, but he's also spent his whole life being a thinker, so he's wise. If you feel like he's giving you a basic bitch look, it's usually more that he's trying to figure out why what you're saying is basic. I think he'll be fine with whatever arrangement you guys had. He wouldn't have agreed to it unless he wanted to. Hey, if I spent my life worrying about what other people thought, I'd be a miserable and angry person all the time."

[starttomakeitbetter]

Jude gave a light laugh at that, shaking his head. "I'm glad, because I'm pretty sure I never got the memo on a bisexual Disney prince with tattoos who got his princess. Which is cool with me, because my hair will never look like theirs anyway. But I want to love you the way you deserve to be loved, and fuck Disney, but I still want to make you feel like a princess. I've never done the relationship thing before, but I don't want to use that as an excuse not to do it right. I think that all makes sense, and it's ultimately what it's all about. Give and take. It used to be easy to give, because I had my life on an even keel, and giving, believe it or not, came pretty naturally to me. Lorenzo went through a lot, and I was able to care for him... And then I lost my footing. It's not an excuse... And I don't want it to be, either. I'm going to be here for you and let you be here for me. Your dad sounds like an amazing dude. I'd really like to meet him someday. I mean, I assume if we're dating, I will... But he sounds like someone I'd like to know."

"Billy always talked about him all the time after rehearsals and shows. He loves the kid to death, and it's been hard on him knowing Justin's not well, and he's not well to be able to help him. My brother has fucking ball cancer, and his first concern is still everyone else... Making sure Ajay's well and cared for as much as he can be... worrying about Justin and how he's coping with everything. Billy's an amazing dude. I'm really proud to have him as a brother. I'm going to take your advice though, and go have a chat with Justin. I don't want him to think I'm falling to pieces and somehow blame himself for it. I get a feeling he'd end up doing that. Among other things. It would probably be good for both of us." He was quiet as she continued to explain about Lewis, and it was hitting him that even after everything, Reecy knew his best friend's boyfriend better than he did, and that was something he needed to remedy, and pretty damn quickly if he could. "I like the guy. He's good to Renz and he obviously loves him to the moon and back, so that pretty much makes him a favorite for me right off. But he's a smart dude, too. He won't put up with people being basic if they need to be put in their place, but I like that... Because I know it means he's not letting basic bitches fuck with my best friend. I don't care what other people think, either. At this point, I just want to hold onto the people that I care about and treat them the way they deserve to be treated. End of story."

[headingforsomething]

Reecy gave him a point. "Ahh, you wait. Winnie's a writer, I'm onto him about that imbalance in fairy tales. It's time Disney got its shit together. I'm waiting for a Disney movie with two gay princes and I will love the fuck out of them. Ariel, eat your heart out. I don't need to be treated like a princess. I really don't. I know there are some chicks out there who demand it to obnoxious levels. Or you get the ones running around bleating feminism and they don't need anything from a guy to be a better woman. That's not me either. There has to be a nice, happy balance between the extremes. Just do what you feel is right, and what's you. It's the only way we'll have a hope in hell of knowing if we're truly compatible. It's better to figure that out sooner rather than later. Dad will want to meet you, but it's nothing to be intimidated by. He's not the sort of guy waiting there to threaten you with a shotgun if you hurt me. He knows hurt is all part and parcel of life. He knows those choices are mine to make. He just wants to be kept in the loop so I know I can talk to him about anything I need to. My other dad, though? He probably would have been the shotgun guy," she admitted with a fond smile, albeit with a hint of sadness in her tone.

She nodded as she listened. "It's true. But that will always be Billy. Maybe even moreso now that your inner circle has expanded to include people like Ajay and Justin, Lewis with Lorenzo, Ajay's brother. All that. I think that will ultimately be what gets Billy through this anyway. Cancer's terrifying, and he's lost a part of him that ultimately defined him on some level. The balls are part of being a man, so he's probably thinking about that too... worrying he might not be attractive to Ajay or if it will feel different and weird. If sex will feel the same. All these things are probably swirling around in his head, but at the same time, he'll still have focus on the people he cares about and how they are, because that's Billy. But he is extremely close to Justin and it might give him some peace to know you've reached out to Justin and stepped in where he couldn't. As for Lewis, he's very easy to love. He doesn't judge. He questions, but he doesn't judge. He's a funny guy too. He'll tell it like it is. I think he's been an armchair therapist to all of us he works on for the shows. But he's had his own life struggles. Has a family that doesn't believe in homosexuality and basically doesn't know who he is, let alone to love who he is. That's where you're rich, Jude. You have a family who love you unconditionally and accept you for who you are, even through the mistakes and confusion. That's something priceless some people will never have."