"Late nights got me staring into the moon."

[headingforsomething]

Who: Reecy Chester-Wilson and Jude Willis
What: Late Night Deep-and-Meaningfuls
Where: Sydney, Australia
When: After this

The night sky was clear and covered in stars while the near-full moon cast a glittery streak across the surface of the ocean in the distance. There was something about the Australia sky that just seemed so much more crisp, clear, and fresh than Reecy had ever seen in her home country. She had a soft spot in her heart for this place, considering her baby brother in every way but blood was half-Australian. Though, some days, Justin seemed 100% Aussie. It had only really been since his real birth mother appeared that it was obvious how much of her genes he also shared. It was common for people to say Justin was Mark all over, which he was in so many ways, but you could see Alexis in his looks and there was no doubt all his musical and artistic talent came from her. Reecy thought Alexis was amazing and absolutely stunning. She wished she'd been able to spend more time with her and the way they would come to do that now was awful and made Reecy's stomach hurt far beyond even what the morning sickness was doing.

She picked up her wine glass and took a sip of the pretty decent non-alcoholic prosecco, trying to let the peaceful view of the ocean and beach beyond the backyard fence calm her. It wasn't really working. Her heavy heart was struggling with the enormity of knowing she had to try to visit Justin - and Sash - in the hospital tomorrow. It was unclear how his condition was and he didn't want visitors, though Justin's grandmother called her earlier and told her that Sash's mother was finally able to get to the hospital after all the covid roadblocks and Justin hadn't turned her away like he had been with everyone else. Right at this moment, even at this late hour, Mrs Stanford was still with both boys so no one really knew if she had any success breaching Justin's severe depression and grief trying to deal with the consequences of the car crash and hearing his dad had fallen off the booze wagon. Reecy was so worried about him. But she was also conscious she wasn't a blood relative and that trying to push Justin when he wasn't capable mentally or emotionally seeing people. He only ever shut down like this when he was having a severe episode with his bipolar or C-PTSD.

Further along the upper floor balcony where she had been sitting alone with her thoughts, she heard one of the glass doors slide up and Jude stepped out in just a pair of boxers and went over to lean on the railing, taking in a deep long breath and letting it out slowly. "How's the patient?" she asked, hoping she wouldn't startle him when he spotted her sitting there alone with only the moon and some fairy lights strung over the railing for light. "You look like you need a drink but I can't offer you anything with a kick, I'm afraid but it's as close to the real deal as you can get."

Comments

[underyourskin]

"Do you miss working with him? I know things are totally awesome for you and Kyan for Dirty Dancing and were basically made for the role but I know the whole dynamic with the OG Footloose bunch was pretty special. You all protected him and took care of him, even if he was, like, technically leading everything. I remember how devastated you were the first time you heard he attempted suicide. This is just as hard, I know. An accident like this, it affects more than just the victims of the accident. There's no way of knowing an accurate prognosis. You can't predict if there'll be complications or issues with healing or rehabilitation. And that's only considering Sash waking up. The aneurysm alone could've killed him. The longer he's unconscious, the worse his prognosis could get. All things that are no doubt spinning around and around in Justin's head constantly. Any of us would struggle to cope, let alone a kid with an already disabling mental illness. You've got that look all over you, that you feel so useless. But what I also know is you're his big sister in every way but blood and he's always opened up to you. Just being there will help him. You're not useless, hon. You need to try to stop stressing so hard. You have to take care of you and the bub. But I know that's easier said than done. As soon as Winston's head is feeling better, he'll be on hand to be your BFF rock. That's pretty much why we came over. Not to mention that you picked one of the best husbands in the business. I know he'll make sure you're taken care of." The kettle finished boiling so Jude filled the kettle, gave the tea leave a little stir, before leaving the teapot to steep.

He scooped up the mugs, milk, and sugar to take them over to the large living area that was skirted by a large modular sofa that faced outwards to another large window with views of the water. He put everything on the coffee table and flopped onto the sofa. "Yeah, yeah. I know that rationally now. I've just been overthinking everything too much. We're definitely going to share a room. Things have progressed since I offered him the room anyway. It's nice he's letting me take care of him and I love listening to him talk. It's nice and it's easy. I guess I've just been conscious about not wanting to rush things in case it goes wrong. But it doesn't even feel like it's rushing. So, what you're saying is, if it feels right, maybe it just so happens to be right and that's okay? We should just get the fuck outta our own way and enjoy it? I mean, you're nailing it, so who am I to deny the advice?"

[headingforsomething]

Reecy nodded with a wistful smile. "I do. A lot. I miss all the old crew. But we've grown up a lot since those days, we're all different people. Justin's different in that he understands his illnesses more now, so he knows what he can achieve. He lets his strengths guide him so the weaknesses he has from being so unwell are buffered much more than they were. I'm hoping to still work with him again if he recovers to perform again. He asked me to do backup vocals on the album he had in the works. He's been writing music for an album simultaneously to working with Will writing his book. This accident couldn't come at a worst time. But the thing in, he could retire tomorrow and still be completely set for life. If Sash is going to have a permanent TBI, Smooshie might choose to retire and be his carer. I don't think it's off the cards. It'll definitely be one of many things going around in his head and honestly... if it were Kyan and I in Sash and Smooshie's place, I'd probably do the same thing. Wouldn't even think twice about it. He means more to me than my career ever will. Music is Smooshie's medicine, though. I don't think he can remain stable without doing something performance related. He came close to quitting it all after Bondi. Any trauma re-opens old wounds for him."

"Having sex and wanting to share a bed isn't really rushing things, babe. It's just two consenting adults enjoying being together. It's all the other relationship stuff that can - and will - take time. But even then, there's no right or wrong way to do it. You go at a pace you're both comfortable with and that's all that matters. When you're living a life that is busy and has countless other things going on around you, you shape it as you go. Thinking about what shape you want that to be, wanting to look forward and not back, that's okay. You should be contemplating it. I think if it was wrong, by now you'd both be getting the gut feeling it was. This is why I wanted to lay all the cards on the table for you both right up, so things that don't need to be obstacles are packed up and left behind where they belong. Leaves room for the better things and the better things are really freaking amazing. It clicks into place like two puzzle pieces. You might both be different to one another and bring different pasts to the table, but that doesn't mean you won't fit together." She laughed and shrugged. "Hey, I'm far from an expert. But getting out of your own way is probably peak advice at this point in a relationship. Winnie's a lot like Ky in that it takes a lot for something to be an issue for them. It makes it easier to stop and smell the roses. Hell, they make you want to sit and watch the roses grow. That's what it's all about."

[underyourskin]

Jude wasn't foreign to that mask of worry Reecy got when she was concerned about Justin. He saw it many times when they were dating and had been with her on some of the occasions she got terrible phone calls that Justin had harmed himself again. She had confessed to him early on in their relationship that she knew she would never be able to fully shake a streak of inner fear she always had that any one of those next phone calls might be the one notifying her Justin had lost the battle. She'd had bad dreams about being at his funeral. "Knowing him as you do, what do you think he'll do? If Sash wakes up and even if it comes to light he has permanent damage from the brain injury. Do you think Justin would return to being a performer? It's what keeps him alive. It might be the worst thing for him to retire and step out of the spotlight. The spotlight isn't why he does it. It's just a byproduct of why he does. I get it, though. Any time I've been on an ER shift and he's come to us, whether from self-harming or complications of his illnesses or treatments, he says he wants to quit. Not quit music. Quit 'being him', is how he put it. I know we have to take assume that is verbiage of suicidal ideation or intention but I always wondered if it just meant he was tired of trying to be Justin Campbell, the global superstar, when he was suffering being Justin Campbell, the severely mentally unwell and scared teenager. Do you still lie awake at night stewing on that stuff or has it gotten easier since he met Sash and settled a little?"

"That's the thing, though. The pace does feel fast with us, it just doesn't feel like fast is a bad thing. It's almost like having that history with you for both of us, we've been able to bypass some of that early dating bullshit. The small talk, the getting to know each other from scratch. We already know enough to jump ahead a few levels and it feels good. It feels safe and peaceful, which does scare me. I've never really had anything safe and peaceful. But it does feel like what I witness Renz getting with Lew when they met. For want of a better analogy, yeah, just like puzzle pieces go together easily without needing to figure out where they go or having to force them to fit. I want to live with, I want to share a bed with him, have all those domestic comfort things with him. That's secondary, though. Primarily, it's just because I want him close and to spend as much time with him as I can. It just seems that the overreaching general consensus of the world is going too fast isn't the best thing. Then again, I know people where it's been the best thing for them and they're still going strong." He sat forward so he could pour the tea for them, making Reecy's mug for her first and handing it to her. "Winston's clearly a sensitive person and I'd say he's huge on the gut feeling thing. Do you think he'd be getting it by now if it was going to happen? And more, would he tell me if he was? For me, I can really see a future with him."