dreamlikenewyork | "At least we got good friends giving me great times."

"At least we got good friends giving me great times."

Who: Justin Campbell and Amarlie-Rose Satori with anyone else who wants to jump in
What: Overdue Squad Chillout
Where: Casa de Campbell, Upper East Side
When: Weekend Sleepover

It had been way too long since their squad had a decent hangout. There had been the holidays and a bunch of family shit going on - not to mention Justin discovering he had a long-lost biological birth mother out there who loved him - that time just got away and they hadn't had a chance to get together as a group. Those of them that lived at Casa de Campbell decided this weekend was it, and PJs and hot chocolate were a much, considering they were expecting snow. It was the shitty weather that had them deciding a sleepover would be fun. There was plenty of room and it would give them the chance to hang out and have fun, especially with Justin's tour due to kick off in a few weeks where he and a lot of his friends who worked with him would be on the road soon.

Dressed in his fluffy rainbow onesie PJs, Justin grabbed a Krispy Kreme donut and a can of Diet Dr Pepper and leapt over the back of the couch, dropping in the spot right up next to his sister, Amarlie, giving her a mischievous grin. "So - how about them vajayjays?" he asked pointedly, licking some donut glaze off his pinkie finger.

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Blaize snorted, amused. "Even if she was knocked up, I'm not sure it would be a foregone conclusion she would go ahread with it. Cool uncles wouldn't be a given. I just hope she's okay. He might be trying to cheer her up if it's something bad. I hope she knows she can still talk to us, no matter what it is. Justin's going away soon, so if she wants to lean on him more than us with whatever this is, it's okay. Doesn't mean we've done anything wrong. It's going to be strange not having Justin and Sash around but at least we've got plans to fly out to some of the shows. Oh, shit, do you think it might be something like that? She's going on tour with him after all? She might meet some dude on the road and decide to move away after all."

When Sasha came over to remind Justin he needed to take his meds, Amarlie planned on talking to Layla but she looked like she was still have a deep talk with Will. Justin only just reminded her how close Layla and Will had been growing up, how Layla even shaved her head when Will was going through chemo. That alone made her want to talk to Layla even more now than before, if that was somehow possible. So, now she had to take another big leap and she hadn't been avoiding it because she didn't want her trio of BFFs not to know. It was because she didn't want to complicate anything if there was nothing to complicate and sure, she got extremely distracted soul-searching and trying not to think about things too much so she could focus on her job helping Austin finalising Justin's tour ensemble now he had regained a little weight with the dialysis over. She went over to them and squashed herself in between Zenith and Asher. "Don't think I haven't noticed all those weird looks you guys have been shooting me across the room. Which one of you was worried I was knocked up?"

"Blaize takes that cake," Zenith laughed when Amarlie directly directly called them out. It was just proof how well she knew them. He leaned over and gave Blaize a kiss. "We knew it probably wasn't likely, but we also knew something was up and didn't want to get up in your face about it if you weren't ready to talk it through. Soooo... what is it, babe? It wasn't just being knocked up we thought. Maybe it was that you wanted to move back to SanFran or you were taking a job that would have you trekking around the world or something. All that aside, though... are you okay? Has something happened? It's okay if you don't want to talk about what it is but just promise us you're okay and if you're not, let us help you." He stroked Amarlie's hair and let some of the gentle curls loop his finger.

"But just so you know, if you had been knocked up, we would've been friggin awesome uncles. Like, second, third, and fourth in line after Justin. Or after Justin and Sash because Sash gives me excellent uncle vibes. But you aren't preggers, which is just as awesome. I know you wouldn't want to go through that stuff all over again like back when... just I'm glad you're okay. That nothing is hugely wrong. I think. You don't seem upset, I mean. You know what, I'm just going to shut up and stop talking so you can tell us what's going on." Asher shoved a handful of Gummi Bears into his mouth.

Blaize tried to open his can of Cherry Coke but his fingers were too swollen and painful to manage it, so he handed it to Asher to open for him. "Hey, just because my dick can't knock anyone up, doesn't mean I'm not aware of how easy biological dicks can. It could happen. Sure, if it did, I'd probably be pissed you didn't tell us you were hooking up with someone but I'd get over it. So, what gives? We deduced that if it was something bad, you probably wouldn't look so chill with Justin. Something big's happened, though, hasn't it? I'm getting a whole vibe off you, I just can't figure out what it is," he insisted, closely analysing Amarlie again as he took a drink from the can Ash handed back to him open.

Amarlie took a deep breath and looked between the three of them, letting it out heavily. "Okay, boys... I'm going to put something out there. Something that I have a feeling might not be too surprising but maybe not... expected? Just before I get to that, I want you to know that I have been talking to Justin about it. But only tonight. Up to now, I haven't really spoken to anyone about it. I just thew myself into the last minute rush of work with Austin putting the finishing touches to Justin's tour ensemble and getting swept up in that because ohmygod, my little brother is legit going on a world solo tour, most shows of which are sold out in giant concert halls and I was okay being distracted by that. Working with Austin has been a dream come true and he's amazing. I never thought I'd have the chance to work with someone so fashionably talented as he is but... I'm not going to get caught up in that just now." She hesitated and cleared her throat. "Okay, so I had sex with Layla at the New Year's party. Yes, I was kind of drunk but not enough to forget any of it. So, I've been kind of having this surreal crisis of sexuality, without it really being a crisis. Just... not used to not being straight. If that's what it even was. And I think it is, because I want to do it again and I can't stop staring at her."

Well, that definitely wasn't what Zenith had anticipated Amarlie would say and he knew bis boyfriends didn't either, the way both their heads whipped around to look at her when she finally revealed what was going on. It wasn't a shock. Not really. Amarlie had always been a free-loving spirit so figuring out she liked girls, as well as guys, wasn't out of the realm of possibility. Or there was always the chance this was a sexual awakening for her. She might not be into guys at all and didn't know it. That's what experimenting was all about. He took her hand and broke into a grin. "Oh, wow. Fuck, that's incredible. Girl, you have awesome taste in chicks. Layla's freaking smoking hot. So, what's the delay? You're not sure what label or you're scared to take a leap of faith to see if it might be something more than a hookup? What words of wisdom was Justin offering?"

"Wait. Am I the only one who always thought our girl had at least a few percentage of bi vibees going on? I'm a cis very, very gay dude - I mean, I am polyam and dating two guys - and even I can see Layla's freaking hot. And as much as I love Maryanne and we're still pals with her, she went home and Lays is single now. You're going to be flying in and out of tour stops with Austin. You could always invite Layla to go with you. She'd love it. Once Maryanne was no longer with the band, she told me she was only going to be able to see a few of Justin's shows once they hit the road." Asher was poised to jump right into cupid mode. He was grinning with both excitement and pride. "Well! Spill1 Tell us about how it all happened! The sexy times and figuring out you wanna test drive swinging both ways."

"Was it just sex or more? That's where you have to start. Sex when you're drunk is a grey area because it doesn't necessarily mean anything more than getting off while you're drunk. But if you remember it all and you remember how you felt, then that's a big clue. You're here telling us and you've been talking to Justin. I think you're at least bi. Then again... you've had relationships with guys and you were never quite sure it stuck. How did sex with a guy compare to sex with Layla?" Blaize had been in Amarlie's shoes back when he went in all systems-go on his medical and surgical transition. He discovered he was pansexual when his attractions weren't related to gender at all. Other things came into it for him. He had had been with guys, girls, and NB people, it was all awesome. But that deeper sexual arousal was usually what indicated your sexuality. "You've got good taste, she's freaking gorgeous. If you ever want a three-way, feel free to give me a shout," he added with a grin.

Amarlie knew she could count on her boys to throw all the valid questions at her. Justin had taken more the emotional route, while her Terrific Trio here were thinking logistically. "Yes, she's gorgeous. Extremely gorgeous. It was exciting when we started, then it was this whole avalanche of feelings I can't even describe. So, I'm pretty sure it was more than just sex. The 'more' is what I'm confused about and when I say confused, I don't think that's exactly what I mean. At the very least, it's a complex confusion. It's like..." She paused, chewing her lip in thought and found her looking over to where Justin was sitting at the piano and Sash was standing behind him, cuddling him while they laughed together. "I've had LGBT+ people around me my whole life. Across the spectrum and everything in between. It's never been unusual to me. But for some reason, I always just assumed I was straight. That's the part I don't get. Shouldn't I have felt it more by now? Had some sort of inner inkling?"

"I feel like I should throw the mic over to B for this one but... not necessarily, if you're pan. That's an option on the table, right? We know pan is regardless of gender. It's about sexual attraction to the person beyond the gender, whatever gender they are. Whereas for me, being omni, I'm attracted to all genders. So, gender comes into it a lot. But I know it doesn't for B. Maybe the reason you haven't felt it more now is because no one who is female has attracted you until Layla. Sexuality doesn't have to be an exestential crisis. Sometimes, people just know when it happens and it makes sense from the start. You could be confused because there's actually nothing to be confused about." Zen looked at Blaize with a laugh. "Babe, you have a three-way pretty much every night. Mars doesn't need to share her girl with us."

"And look at Sash. He didn't even know he was anything beyond straight until he met Justin and had those feelings. Granted, he's ace, but not everyone just knows. Sometimes people don't know until they meet the right person. Could be why all your relationships with guys sucked so much. The good part here is we all already know Layla's an amazing person with a massive heart. Look what she did for Will when he was sick with cancer. She wouldn't be one of your brother's closest pals if she wasn't special. Plus? None of us rang in the New Year getting laid, so that's, like, bonus points right there. Not even us and there's three of us." Asher held his hands up. "But the most important part is, how much have you been thinking about having sex with her again since it happened or has it just been all worrying about whether you're a lesbian or not? And have you been thinking about other couply stuff with her too?"

Blaize started playing with Amarlie's hair, knowing that navigating one's sexuality or sexual identity was a slippery sucker for a lot of people. "You might just be sexuality fluid, sweetheart. You might not want labels. You might be cool with feeling what you are however you need to when you're dating. Don't put pressure on yourself to just figure it all out or that you need to have some massive coming out with us. It doesn't matter to us how you identify, we'll love you no matter what. I think you should just let yourself see what happens with her. You two at least have to try a date or two. Do something special, enjoy it. You fucking deserve it. So, straight's been your default, like getting something in factory settings. You don't have to keep them. What are you feeling right deep down inside, where that warm cuddly niggle of our conscience sparks?"

Amarlie felt like Batman with three Robins at her disposal. Her boys had always been her confidantes. This time, she leant on Justin first because he knew Layla and he wheedled it out of her first. But she always intended telling her ChAmarlie's Angels because she knew they would offer her multiple facets of wisdom to think about. Nothing made her happier than the three of them realising they had polyamorous love for each other. They were adorable together and made so much sense. They all made this sexual identity thing look easy. So did Justin and Sasha. So did Layal, for that matter. That's where Amarlie was getting caught up. She thought it would feel easier. Then again, it didn't feel hard, just bewildering. "Fluid..." she murmured, nibbling the corner of her lip. "Yeah, maybe that's it. Maybe that's what I've been feeling. That's how it feels. Like it's... changed over time or something. I can't stop thinking about her. I haven't felt anything for guys recently but I did before. I just don't feel like I've switched sides. Am I even making sense? I'm so nervous, fuck. Deep down inside I feel like I want to hold her and kiss her and... I don't know, slow dance with her and go for ice cream and all that stuff. It's not just about sex, even if I'm really curious about girl-on-girl sex now."

"You can't stop looking at her, girl," Zenith noticed with a smile, kissing her cheek. "I'm proud of you for not being scared of this. You're not scared, you're just worrying about not being lesbian enough for her. It's new, love. All new things are nerve-wracking when you're trying to figure it all out. We can all see as plain as day that you're into her and open to this. You don't have to figure every little facet of your sexuality just because you're into someone the same gender as you. Let her help you figure it. That's part of the fun of it. It's what us three got to do when we figured out what might be happening and that it wasn't just a threesome. Sash had to do it when he met Justin. Plus, if you think you might be fluid, you won't really know until you test drive it more anyway. You could always invite her to stay with you tonight. Everyone's staying over anyway but you've got a comfy king bed at your disposal. Go over right now and ask her to slow dance with you. There's a jukebox here. You can pick any song you want."

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"At least we got good friends giving me great times."

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