dreamlikenewyork | "At least we got good friends giving me great times."

"At least we got good friends giving me great times."

Who: Justin Campbell and Amarlie-Rose Satori with anyone else who wants to jump in
What: Overdue Squad Chillout
Where: Casa de Campbell, Upper East Side
When: Weekend Sleepover

It had been way too long since their squad had a decent hangout. There had been the holidays and a bunch of family shit going on - not to mention Justin discovering he had a long-lost biological birth mother out there who loved him - that time just got away and they hadn't had a chance to get together as a group. Those of them that lived at Casa de Campbell decided this weekend was it, and PJs and hot chocolate were a much, considering they were expecting snow. It was the shitty weather that had them deciding a sleepover would be fun. There was plenty of room and it would give them the chance to hang out and have fun, especially with Justin's tour due to kick off in a few weeks where he and a lot of his friends who worked with him would be on the road soon.

Dressed in his fluffy rainbow onesie PJs, Justin grabbed a Krispy Kreme donut and a can of Diet Dr Pepper and leapt over the back of the couch, dropping in the spot right up next to his sister, Amarlie, giving her a mischievous grin. "So - how about them vajayjays?" he asked pointedly, licking some donut glaze off his pinkie finger.

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Fin was back with the drinks in a flash and brought a grabbed a comfy looking pillow near the piano on his way back so Zeke could lie down. Zeke was like a brother to him these days. He, Shannon, and Zeke spent a lot of time together and Will had been in that mix more too lately. He knew Shannon felt helpless that his cousin was struggling with cancer again. Zeke reassured them recently that his latest scans showed the chemo was working but it was a slow process. All he wanted was to get rid of the stoma bag but so far, no luck. It had to be shit to want to jump in head-first with things like tonight and not have the energy for it. "Dude, just remember, tonight's about chilling. It's cool if you've gotta just lie down and watch." He cracked open the can of ginger ale for Zeke and shoved the straw into it.

Zeke gratefully accepted the offer to lie down and Fin and Shan's thoughtfulness about his drink. "You don't have to stress. Promis. I'll be okay. It's just the gut pain and fatigue. I'm happy to just lie here and chill. That's why Aunty Connie was cool with me coming tonight, it was just chilling out and taking it easy. I just can't promise I won't puke or fall asleep. Seriously fucking hate being a boring buzzkill. Fuck cancer, seriously." Sipping his drink, his gaze easily tracked to Will who was in what looked to be a serious business convo with Layla. He could catch up with him a bit later. "So freaking glad I at least get to come to the New York show. Wish I could go on tour with you guys. You gotta be pissing your pants with excitement."

"We'll get a trash can just in case, bud. Don't stress, okay? Just chill and let us know if you need anything. I'm not sure you'll be able to get home, though. The snow was expected to get worse and it's always tough getting in and out of the farm. But if you need to sleep, I know Jus or Sash will find a bed for you." Shannon stole a glance at Justin - the guy out of makeup, out of flashy costumes, without a mic or instrument in hand - and wondered how he pulled it off so well, even with shaky mental health recently. "Honestly? I still totally feel like I'm not good enough for any of this. It's like some surreal dream that it's even happening. I think while he was sick after his suicide attempt this time around, we weren't sure if it would go ahead. Now it is, I'm basically shitting myself. He puts so much faith in us. I know there's a bigger band backing us, but he's got us headlining with Damien."

Fin bounded over to Sash and quickly asked him if there was a trash can they could have on hand for Zeke, just in case. Sash directed him to a stainless steel one beneath the piano that was empty, so he brought it back and put it down where Zeke could grab if it he needed it. "Nothing worse than feeling like crap when you just wanna hang out and have fun. We ain't gonna let you miss out. The tour's gonna be way more work than play. It's an epic intricate schedule but full-on. Y'all can Skype with us any time. Can I get you anything else, dude? Just let me know if there is." He dropped onto the spot next to Shannon and draped his arm around his shoulders. "Not good enough? Seriously?! You're amazing, babe. We vibe with Justin. That's why he wanted us. You never thought you'd be a stage performer 'cause of your wheelchair, and now look! Plus? Damien's super cool."

"Thanks, dude. You're awesome," Zeke said gratefully to Fin. He knew Shannon wanted to help as much as he could but Fin was a legend doing these bits of running around to help so Shannon didn't have to in his wheelchair. There had been days where Shannon was having physio or doctors appointments and Fin was there for Zeke to help out. It was just nice. He was super over the moon that his cousin had found a boyfriend like Fin. They were a perfect match, and their mutual love of music and both being musicians is how they ended up on the band their friends formed and now touring with Justin. Fin was an outstanding drummer and Shannon sang, played keys, and guitar. After his accident, Shannon never thought he could be a performing musician because of his disbility. Then Justin came into the mix and was like 'My mine and my friends' beeers'. "Fuck, yes. Listen to your man, Shan. Of course you're freaking good enough! Not just that, you guys do so much for charity. Even without Justin, you've got an epic following. Don't be dumb. You're good enough. If people on Tik Tok can get famous, like, singing to a piece of toast, you guys can do it being awesome musicians. It's okay to shit yourself with nerves, but none of that not good enough shit. And I have cancer, you have to listen to me."

Shannon couldn't help his lingering look at his cousin, hoping he would be okay. There really wouldn't be a bother if he did get sick or needed to rest. That was the beauty of their squad. Everyone got it. They had all been through shit. He knew Zeke had struck up a close friendship with Brandon too, with both of them battle cancer. Initially, Zeke had been worried about imposing on a dude who was a massive world-wide celebrity but it turned out that Brandon appreciated the companionship of one of Merlin's friends fighting the same battle. Even once Brandon went into isolation after his bone marrow transplant, Zeke still went up and visited through the glass wall and he had been giving them all updates on how Merlin and Brandon were. "'Listen to your man, Shan'. That is totally an awesome name for a country music song," he laughed and cracked open the can of soda Fin brought him to take a swig. "Ohhhh, he pulled the cancer card! How can I object with that? Here's the thing... it's more that I'm self-conscious and uber-aware I'm disabled. I know that shouldn't be a thing, but it is. But then again, I know Justin's doing all this with a disability too. His fan base are scary. What if they annihilate us on social media?"

"Self-conscious and uber-aware you're disabled doesn't make you any less talented or super awesome musician, babe. 'Cause I think Justin's disability makes him both of those things too they don't erase his talent. Same as Brandon's cancer doesn't erase his acting talent. That ain't how all this works. You don't need your legs to be a brilliant keyboardist. You've proved that. We've been playing shows for ages now and we ain't been booed off the stage once. We get to piggyback on some of the stuff Justin's created with his own hardwork and talent. You're just as rightful being there as any of us. We're all gonna be there with you. I'm gonna be right behind you, watching you be amazing, just like I always do." Fin pulled Shannon into a kiss and grinned. "You're gonna be too busy having a ball to worry about this stuff too much once we get past the first show. I just know it. We don't gotta worry about what Justin's fanbase thinks. We're gonna have our own and if they annihilate us, we know we can work on shit and just keep getting better and better. Real people in our lives matter way more than any strangers on social media."

The last thing Zeke intended was to get into was a round of the dry-heaves when Shannon and Fin were having a heart-to-heart with him about their big tour band debut but it's what happened. He contemplated running to the bathroom for a moment or two but he knew he wouldn't make it. He had to settle for hanging over the trash can for a bit until it passed. Thankfully, he didn't end up actually puking but he came close. The dry-heaves were the worst. Brandon likened them to being cut off in the middle of sex without an orgasm, it felt way better to actually throw up and get it over with. Zeke had never had an orgasm but he was pretty sure Brandon had loads of them, so he would take him as a firm authority. It led to Brandon being subjected to a pretty personal interrogation about his sex life on chemo but the guy had been a trooper about it, honestly answering any questions Zeke had. Brandon had used viagra and didn't mind it but he had a working cock before he was diagnosed with cancer. Zeke never had that. He was still wary. "Fuck, I'm sorry," he coughed once the worst of the nausea eased and he could sip the ginger ale again. "Shan, bud, this is all you've ever wanted to do. You were playing the piano from, like, three years old. You're not a freaking novice. You've been performing longer than Justin has. You got this."

Shannon shuffled his bum a bit closer so he could rub Zeke's back while he battled with one of those waves of nausea that had him looking the paler side of green until it passed. He had kept his cousin company through bouts of sickness both times he fought cancer and he would never not want to help in any way he could. But Zeke seemed to be purposefully leaning away and more into Fin's direction. "Dude, are you trying to hide that you're feeling sick from Will? I know you think you're being a buzzkill, but you're not. Please don't tell me you're having those feelings again like you did with Jett and wanted to let him off the hook so he wasn't saddled with cancer. That's not how it works. You were at Merlin's wedding. That's how it works. Just don't get married quickly or I think all your family spread out across the country will want to bitchslap you." He massaged some little circles to the back of Zeke's neck with his thumb. Though, moments like these, he did worry Zeke might not ultimately beat this. "Don't apologise, cuz. Never apologise. Have you seen Merlin? Has he said they're any closer to getting Brandon out of there?"

Fin pursed his lips and patted Zeke's shoulder, wanting to offer more help but also not wanting to frustrate Zeke by fussing over him. There had been times Zeke got snappy or shitty when he was frustrated with being a sick person and people hovering around him. Everyone in his family had copped it and Fin usually did too by default if he was staying at Shannon's when it happened. There was even one time where Zeke accidentally walked in on them having sex and they copped a mouthful for simply having dicks that worked. They all laughed about it now, especially Zeke, but at the time, the poor guy was so upset and hurting about dealing with cancer, spending the week with the flu on top of chem side effects. Who wouldn't be pissed off at everyone and everything? "I used to think Will was a prized cunt after thumped Sash that night but he's turned out to be a cool dude and he'd just wanna take care of you, no matter what. But at the same, I get not wanting to saddle him with it. Sometimes when you're poorly, the last thing you want is inflicting folk with having to deal with it."

"Brandon had complications with the transplant. His system was rejecting Merlin's cells. But it's not an uncommon thing with a non-blood related donor. They have ways of treating it. Just makes him feel even more shitty for awhile and they need to take extra care because his body's not holding up the best. Once they get that sorted, they'll probably let him out, but mostly on bed rest." Zeke laid there, letting himself enjoy how comfy the sofa was and how nice it felt to just be lying there but this time in the company of all his friends. "I'm not forcefully trying to hide from him. He's amazing. I love him like hell. But he stresses and he doesn't have to stress tonight. He's helped me so much, he deserves a night off. If I start feeling worse, I'll tell him. He hasn't had a chance to catch up with Layla in ages. He's not a prized cunt anymore. He was dealing with a lot of shit back then. The breakup was real tough on him, he made bad mistakes. It cost him a lot but he got help. I just have those days sometimes where I wish didn't have to deal with this shit. I just want to be normal for awhile."

Shannon knew his cousin. They were the same age and even if they didn't live in the same state growing up, they had still been really close. Their family was huge and someone was always throwing gatherings where they saw each other. The hardest part was - without a doubt - when Zeke was at his worst with his first cancer battle and Shannon had his accident in the middle of it. They had both been terrified the other was going to die and there was no way to see each other for reassurance. Shannon had been in a coma in the ICU for months and had amnesia when he came out of it. He hadn't even remembered Zeke had cancer. Most of his memory came back but he still didn't remember the day of the accident. Now, Shannon was really overprotective of his cousin and it took a lot for him to accept he was dating Will, the guy who hurt Justin when they had been together. But he knew better than to keep blaming Will for his past mistakes, especially when Justin didn't even blame him. Now Will was the guy Shannon loved and it was getting serious. "Z, dude... what's bothering you about all this? Is this the sex thing? Shit, did you try it and didn't like it? Did something go wrong?"

Fin's eyebrows shot up and he tried to scrutinize Zeke for a moment, trying to see if it seemed like he had recently lost his virginity. He remembered when he lost his own, his stepdad basically knew as soon as he walked into the room. But then, Fin was a healthy fifteen year old at the time and loved everything about sex. The only time he couldn't successfully do it was after he had a dizzy episode or Shannon's pain was flaring up. But both he and Shannon were 100% sexually functionable. Zeke wasn't. It was a different thing for him. "You're looking a bit less green, Z. You want a soda or a cup of tea or something? I guess you, like, don't wanna make Will all scared his cancer might come back and stuff. But I think he'd tell you if that was it, yeah? You gotta talk. You talk to him about stuff, yeah? Not just trying to all spare him from the burden. That never really works, you know."

Zeke struggled to pull himself up with a slight shake of his head. "Nope, I think I'm actually gonna hurl and I don't wanna ruin everyone's fun by doing it in front of them all." He somehow - messily - got himself up off the sofa with only a slight hit of dizziness getting upright. He headed for the door with his hand to his mouth just in case, even if he was truly appreciating Shannon and Fin trying to have a heart-to-heart with him. Cancer didn't operate on any convenient schedule. He had that hot nauseous sick feeling all over and he had plenty of experience with this to know when his gut was sending him warning signals. He made it to the bathroom and flicked the toilet seat up, leaning over it and taking some deep breaths, waiting for the inevitable. Just because he was an expert in throwing up didn't mean he wanted it anymore than the next person. What he probably needed was to be curled up in bed with a hot water bottle but he what he wanted was to be with his friends having fun. This wasn't fun. It hit hard and came with another wave of wooziness, breaking out in a cold sweat. How the fuck was he supposed to feel sexy like this?

Shannon's stomach clenched with worry and with Fin's help, he whipped himself back into his wheelchair so he could go help Zeke if he needed it. It was just in time too. He got to the bathroom as Zeke finished throwing up and swayed woozily. Shannon managed to grab him around the waist just as he passed out and clumsily pulled Zeke onto his lap. "Fuck, he should be in bed! Oh shit!" Even out cold, Zeke was still throwing up and Shannon copped the brunt of it over his knees and legs. "Do you think you can get him to lie down on the floor, babe? Just get him into the recovery position. I don't know how long he'll be out for. Fuck, I hate cancer. I fucking hate it. Should we ge Will? I'd wanna know if it was you who was sick."

"Yeah, for sure. I'll go ask Sash, too, if he's got a change of clothes you guys can follow." Fin got Zeke down on the bathroom mat and covered him with a towel so he didn't get cold. He didn't go back to the chillout room right away, though. He got Zeke a glass of water and cleaned up some of the mess with another towel and face cloth the best he could. He gave Shannon a kiss. "I'll be right back, babe. He's so sick, he should be in bed but I know he misses hanging out."

He hurried over to where Sash was still chatting with Cas but he couldn't spot Will. "Hey, sorry, Cas. Can I borrow Sash for a bit? Can you give us a hand, dude? Zeke's just gotten sick everywhere in the bathroom and we were wondering if he could borrow a change of clothes. He ain't doing well, he passed out. I think he's just gotta be in bed."

Sasha pushed up off the sofa and nodding. "Fuck. Yeah, of course. Cas, can you let Will know when he comes back with Layla? I thought he was looking sick when he got here. He's been pushing himself too much because he's panicking about not getting better. I know why too. He's coming up to the timeframe when Andi was told she was terminal after her second diagnosis. It's easy to lose hope and try not to admit to yourself you're losing hope," he told Fin and once they got to the bathroom, Zeke was coming around. He crouched down beside him, rubbing his back. "Z, it's Sash, buddy. Don't try to move yet, okay? Wait until it passes a little more. I'm sorry you're feeling so bad. I think we need to get you to bed to lie down. You don't have to go home, you're welcome to chill in our guest room. Think you can keep a little water down or you're not done being sick yet? It's okay, you're not alone. We're right here."

Squinting against the bathroom lights, Zeke groaned and put his hand over his face. "Oh fuck, I'm on the floor again." Sash was now there too, so apparently his body had gone and betrayed him again. The puke smell was unavoidable and the more he came around through the achy wooziness, he realised he must've thrown up all over himself, exactly what he had been trying to avoid. The only silver lining through all of this was he still had a stoma bag so his other end couldn't go out in sympathy too like it would when he had a functioning bowel. "I hate this. I'm so fucking sorry, guys. This is bullshit when it's supposed to be chillout time. 'Kay, I admit it, I need to be in bed. Fuck. Fuck everything..."

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"At least we got good friends giving me great times."

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