"I felt the earth beneath my feet. Sat by the river, and it made me complete."

[ifeelthelove]

Who: Cassidy Cohen and Merlin Larson
What: Heart not the head choices
Where: Blue Mountain Reservation Trail, NY
When: Thursday

Cassidy, with the help of Justin's sassy gay Yoda advice, decided to take a massive leap of faith and agree to a date with Merlin. Although her head really did want to keep feeding her negative stuff right now, there was a tiny handful of things she couldn't deny. One, Merlin was sweet and they talked really easily together. Two, they both did need some fun after a pretty shit few weeks. Three, fresh air was apparently really good for depression. Four, Merlin promised it would be no strings, and just to have some fun. Finally, Cassidy had to take the rest of the week off on doctor's advice. She had an early morning therapy appointment, where she plucked up the courage to broach the issue Justin had tried to call her out on. It was likely a few different issues compounding, so she would go back for another session the following afternoon prior to the weekend. They wanted to prevent an admission to Four Winds this time. She was packed away with a sick note for two days and a recommendation to do one thing that day to make her smile.

So, she said yes. She had no idea what she was going into, and had just assumed it was a trip to the movies, and that would be it. Instead, Merlin went above and beyond, and they ended up upstate at Blue Mountain Reservation Trail with a picnic lunch to go for a leisurely hike to get some fresh air. She had barely mentioned it in the text when she accepted the offer of a date, and he ran with it. She discovered he owned a car. Nothing fancy, just a little thing not unlike a bubble, and he explained to her on the drive up that he was a Southern boy at heart and he needed a way to get out of the city to breathe sometimes, even if it was just getting out of Manhattan every now and then to hear himself think. He had needed that more than he ever anticipated, discovering he was adopted and his childhood was a messy string of lies and deceit, even if it was intermingled with love from his adoptive family.

Driving up to the location, Cassidy had already felt some of the tension she had been feeling melting away. Merlin seemed to just enjoy company and chatting, and it was easy to respond to. Justin's voice was filtering somewhere through her mind, telling her to just chill out and not overthink it. The therapy session at helped too. She was still going through a rough patch, but she at least woke up a little more optimistic that day, and managed to get out of bed. Which was a success.

They had found a nice little spot near a stream and Merlin spread a rug out for them to sit on together. She had no idea what he had packed, but he had told her to leave it all to him and he would take care of it. "This is really nice, you know. Thank you. I think this is exactly what I needed today. I wasn't going to say yes. Nothing at all to do with you. All my head stuff, and not wanting to get hurt again, I guess. Doubting I was cut out for normal stuff..." she confessed quietly, watching the water trickling down the stream. "Not really thinking I had a right to want it, because of what I am."

Comments

[ifeelthelove]

Cassidy was mostly just sitting there looking at him in awe. He didn't seem real. He was polite, kind, sweet, friendly, funny. Even through the challenges he was facing. He was also a gentleman. He had been opening doors for her, pulling out chairs for her. Now, preempting what she may or may not like to eat, and coming along with a backup plan just in case. But most of all, he seemed to enjoy talking to her and spending time with her. He would strike up their text conversations, and she wasn't left hanging in the middle with no resolution. The best thing, though, was that he noticed the little things in life. The things that made life beautiful, and for her, that had always been a huge thing. When all else failed, the most beautiful things were seen in life's little offerings. "I love baking, but general cooking? Well, let's just say I need more practice. We definitely need to have a cookie-baking date. Like, you've set the precedent now, I'm totally going to hold you to it. I do eat meat, but that doesn't mean I'm not going to try that salsa. It looks yum."

She started to help herself to a bit from each container. She made sure nothing was touching and it all had its own little place on the plate. She listened as she shuffled everything around the plate with her fork. "It's hard to break free from any stereotype. They're age-old mindset locked together like a stuck vice. Trust me, I know how it feels. And you've got to be feeling angry and betrayed. That's inevitable. But it also means literally everything has changed for you now, and that's really hard to deal with. You shouldn't feel guilty for experiencing it." She nodded, smiling. "We all went camping as a group a little while back. It was great fun. Us girls are definitely outranked by the boys, though. Fart jokes and dick banter abound."

[magicmoments]

Merlin was a typical guy with a huge appetite usually, but the stress he had been under lately throttled his appetite. He took some of the food, but he really just wanted to get to know her more and was enjoying the company. Not to mention the location was beautiful and peaceful. No one else was around and it felt like they could forget the race race for a bit. "So, you love baking, and yes< cookie-making date is totally going to happen. What else do you like to do? Do you like school? College plans? Tell me a little more about you. It doesn't all have to just be good stuff. You can tell me about the hard stuff too. I get it. Friendship isn't just about the highlight reel."

He didn't mean to stare, but he was watching how she made sure nothing was touching. Had she not had taco salad before? It was generally all supposed to be piled on top of each other and eaten a bit like nachos, but he didn't want to tell her what she should or shouldn't be doing. She took so little of everything too. Was she just being polite saying it looked nice? He could feel a nervous anxiety building inside him. He was so inexperienced with this stuff, he was just playing it by ear. Maybe she just wasn't hungry. It wasn't about the food, he had to stop overthinking everything. He was a bit emotionally sensitive and fragile right now. He was just pleased to have her company. "I think that's the biggest part. That it's changed everything, and I don't know how shit is supposed to look going forward. But then I see Jace, who almost literally came back from the dead and survived being hit by a car that should have killed him. His whole life changed, and he's a happy and kind guy. He's so perfect for Jesse, oh my god. Jesse's a different person. So much happier and at peace. I want that, you know? Hey, maybe fart jokes and dick banter are just what the doctor ordered?" he said, giving her a shy smile.