"I don't want to miss a thing..."

[lastfirstkiss]

Who? Nick Matheson and Jeff Hinton
What? Last chance to get it right
When? Saturday morning
Where? The Matheson house, Florida

Jeff had been known to make a crazy decision here and there in the past. It wasn't something that he was ashamed of. It was just a part of who he was. It was how he and Richie had ended up with matching BFF lip piercings (which had then led to Richie nearly bleeding to death, and a stern bitching out from Karla), and now it was how he'd ended up on a flight to Florida in the early hours of Saturday morning, determined to get a chance to make this relationship with Nick work out. He was falling for him, but like Richie, Nick hadn't quite gotten the attention that he deserved as a part of Jeff's life when they were just starting off dating. So he'd let Caden and the second understudy know that he would be out of town unexpectedly, just in case Justin couldn't perform for whatever reason, and hopped the first plane he could get.

Once he'd arrived in Florida, he took the address that he'd gotten from Curtis, and hailed a cab, handing the address over to the driver. The nervous feeling in his stomach was overwhelming, but Nick had said he needed passion and fun... two things that Jeff was usually never lacking in, but clearly hadn't been providing in the relationship. And he couldn't think of anything much more hardcore than flying to Florida from New York to see the person that he cared about. A quick stop off had him picking up some flowers, too, and then he was arriving in front of the beautiful Matheson home. He went to the door and rang the bell, nervousness overwhelming him to the point he was wondering if this was all a bad idea.

The door opened to what Jeff assumed had to be Nick's little brother... younger, but very similar in appearance, and Jeff asked for Nick himself. The younger guy turned to call over his shoulder for Nick, and Jeff stood there awkwardly, flowers in hand, hoping he wasn't going to get the door shut in his face.

Comments

[lastfirstkiss]

Jeff wasn’t going to stay and keep pushing Nick if it wasn’t beneficial, and it seemed to only be making things between them worse. He didn’t want to do that. He wanted to improve things, not make them worse. “If that’s what you want, then I’ll go,” Jeff told him. He wasn’t going to push. “I know that you have no reason to believe me, because I haven’t given you one. But that’s why I came here. I wanted to show you that I meant what I said. That I’m serious, and I’m not going to just walk away from you without giving this everything that it deserves. I want to have something special with you. And I know that what I’ve been doing isn’t going to sustain that.” He sighed softly and shook his head. “But I’ll go. If that’s what you want for me to do, I’ll go.”

“Maybe it is,” Jeff agreed, after Nick had ended the call… In Italian, which only took Jeff back to their first meeting. “I haven’t been thinking about how you’re feeling, and I should’ve been all along. You do deserve better than that, Nick. Trust me, I know. More than anything, I’ve realized that over and over again.”

[artsdesire]

Nick just wished it wasn't something Jeff had to 'realise'. This whole thing was depressing him, and on the tail of promising himself he wouldn't let another damaged relationship make him feel the way the one with his ex had. He was angry and upset, and it was why he needed the time to get his head together and figure out what he was feeling in his heart. His gut was telling him to abort mission, without a doubt. "I'm pissed off and I'm hurt and I need space. I told you that before I left for here. I told you I didn't want to talk to you, and I meant it. And I'm pretty sure after everything, I'm entitled to that. Stay if you want, I don't care. But I still need space to figure out if I could be bothered still trying to make any of this work when all it has been are false starts."

He pushed Jeff's coffee over the counter to him and picked up his own mug. "You can show you that you meant what I said by respecting that right now, I'm too pissed off to talk to you. Can you see what you did? You're trying to prove a point that you're going to be better by cutting off a text message conversation completely without warning. You pulled the plug again and I'm supposed to just be 'Yay, Jeff! Let's kiss, make up and fuck!'. No. That's not at all how I feel."

[lastfirstkiss]

Jeff took the coffee that Nick gave him. He wasn't a big coffee drinker anymore, but one didn't hurt, and he did like coffee, even if he didn't drink tons of it at a time. "Nick, I'm sorry," Jeff told him softly. "You're right. Coming here when you'd said you needed time away from me wasn't fair. I should've respected what you said. The truth was, I just didn't want to let this end without at least trying to show you how much I care. But ultimately, I wasn't taking in what you were asking for, and that wasn't right. Nick, I'll go. If you need space, my staying here and trying to push a conversation you're not ready to have isn't going to help anything. It's only going to make things that much worse, and I don't want that."

He took another sip of his coffee, because if he was going to be turning around to get right back on a flight, it only made sense to at least try to wake up a little. "For what it's worth, I didn't expect you to want to kiss, make up, and fuck. Not even close. I just hoped maybe we could start to talk things out together and maybe start to fix them. If we can't, that's okay. I get that, too. I just really wanted to try. That's all."

[artsdesire]

Nick threw up his hands in frustration. "Not only do you not actively converse with me until I'm telling you to piss the fuck off, but you don't listen to me. This is too much goddamn hassle for me. It's too messy and I don't like it. This is my family time. I told you that. Right now, there's nothing at all between us that I would remotely consider you as an extension of my family. And I just don't care if that's a hurtful thing to say to you, because everything you've been actively not saying to me has been as hurtful as fuck. I shouldn't have to ask for anything. Who wants a fucking relationship where you have to ask for shit for it to work? I certainly don't. I can't think of anything worse."

He shook his head. "Not on my family time. You haven't earned the right to cut into my family time yet. Not even close. It takes someone very fucking special and amazing to have that right." That could be what was upsetting him the most. Whatever it was he had been trying to make work with Jeff, there had been no immediate urge to tell his family about it and share it with them. That felt foreign and uncomfortable for Nick. It was what he based most things in his life on.