Zed Blaze (![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png)
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dreamlikenewyork2015-10-30 10:35 pm
zedblaze) wrote in dreamlikenewyork2015-10-30 10:35 pm
Entry tags:
"We live through scars this time..."
Who: Zed Blaze and Caleb Leary
What: "But I've made up my mind."
Where: The Bondi, NYC
When: Friday afternoon
There were three people to thank for the fact Zed was sitting on a stool on the stage at Luke's bar that afternoon. Jax and Luke, who had suggested he come there to hang out so he didn't just go home to be alone when he was discharged from hospital. And Richie. Richie most of all, because it was after spending hours talking to him the night before. At first, Richie had just come after his shift to check how Zed was doing and even though Zed said he was fine so Richie had the open road to go home to spend time with his boyfriend, Richie saw something in his eyes and heard something in his voice. He didn't leave. He stayed, and he told Zed he would stay even if he didn't want to talk.
What happened then was that Zed basically poured his heart out to Richie about everything. For some reason, Richie was just easy to talk to. Or maybe it was because Zed was ready to talk. Probably both. It was more than Zed had spoken of Caleb in a very long time... perhaps even ever. Zed got to a point where, in tears once again, he said he didn't love Caleb anymore. He just couldn't do it. Richie had just looked at him and told him love didn't work like that, and then asked him if he didn't love him, or he didn't know how to be loved by him. It was the million dollar question and it had completely floored Zed. It was the floodgates opened, and for the first time in his life, Zed freely told someone his deepest and most painful thoughts that he had locked away tight and never wanted to visit again.
Zed's arm was still heavily bandaged and braced because of the surgery. He couldn't play guitar, and there was a chance he wouldn't be able to again. He didn't know what he would do if that happened. He knew he looked really rough because Jaz outright told him he had the right look for Halloween. Jax, who was pretty musical, mostly a drummer but could also play guitar, was messing around jamming with Damien, who was there to soundcheck for a gig he had that night. Zed saw Caleb arrive as soon as he walked into the bar. He didn't really know what to do here. He had been telling himself he would know when the moment came, but it wasn't that easy. He had chatted to Jax and Damien about a song he wanted to work on, and he had been having trouble getting the strength to hit the notes.
Jax had quizzed him about whether it was for someone, mostly teasing. Even though his friend was standing a few paces for him, Zed couldn't really look away from Caleb across the bar. It was like there was no one else there while his head and heart tried to converge and figure out what he should do now he had gotten Caleb here. Was it too premature? Should he overthink any of this? Why were fear and pain the easiest emotions to feel above all else, especially love?
The stare he had locked with Caleb was broken when Jax started to play the song, and Zed's eyes shifted to glance at Jax, who just did his sexy curious eyebow thing. So, he just put his hand around the mic and started to sing...
What: "But I've made up my mind."
Where: The Bondi, NYC
When: Friday afternoon
There were three people to thank for the fact Zed was sitting on a stool on the stage at Luke's bar that afternoon. Jax and Luke, who had suggested he come there to hang out so he didn't just go home to be alone when he was discharged from hospital. And Richie. Richie most of all, because it was after spending hours talking to him the night before. At first, Richie had just come after his shift to check how Zed was doing and even though Zed said he was fine so Richie had the open road to go home to spend time with his boyfriend, Richie saw something in his eyes and heard something in his voice. He didn't leave. He stayed, and he told Zed he would stay even if he didn't want to talk.
What happened then was that Zed basically poured his heart out to Richie about everything. For some reason, Richie was just easy to talk to. Or maybe it was because Zed was ready to talk. Probably both. It was more than Zed had spoken of Caleb in a very long time... perhaps even ever. Zed got to a point where, in tears once again, he said he didn't love Caleb anymore. He just couldn't do it. Richie had just looked at him and told him love didn't work like that, and then asked him if he didn't love him, or he didn't know how to be loved by him. It was the million dollar question and it had completely floored Zed. It was the floodgates opened, and for the first time in his life, Zed freely told someone his deepest and most painful thoughts that he had locked away tight and never wanted to visit again.
Zed's arm was still heavily bandaged and braced because of the surgery. He couldn't play guitar, and there was a chance he wouldn't be able to again. He didn't know what he would do if that happened. He knew he looked really rough because Jaz outright told him he had the right look for Halloween. Jax, who was pretty musical, mostly a drummer but could also play guitar, was messing around jamming with Damien, who was there to soundcheck for a gig he had that night. Zed saw Caleb arrive as soon as he walked into the bar. He didn't really know what to do here. He had been telling himself he would know when the moment came, but it wasn't that easy. He had chatted to Jax and Damien about a song he wanted to work on, and he had been having trouble getting the strength to hit the notes.
Jax had quizzed him about whether it was for someone, mostly teasing. Even though his friend was standing a few paces for him, Zed couldn't really look away from Caleb across the bar. It was like there was no one else there while his head and heart tried to converge and figure out what he should do now he had gotten Caleb here. Was it too premature? Should he overthink any of this? Why were fear and pain the easiest emotions to feel above all else, especially love?
The stare he had locked with Caleb was broken when Jax started to play the song, and Zed's eyes shifted to glance at Jax, who just did his sexy curious eyebow thing. So, he just put his hand around the mic and started to sing...
no subject
Caleb gently rubbed Zoran's stomach, trying to help to ease the pain in any way he could, but he really couldn't be sure this was helping. He didn't really fully know what to do here -- what any of the answers were or how to find them even. But right now, in pain and sick and needing comfort, Zoran was choosing to get that comfort from him, and Caleb would never take that for granted.