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[imtoofabulous]

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[americanskin]

Shit. Is he okay? Not much usually knocks him.

[imtoofabulous]

Nope. All he's been doing is spewing and sleeping. Looks like our trip to Vegas on the way back is off.

[americanskin]

#priorities. You're an ice princess, Linc :P

[imtoofabulous]

Nah, I'm only kidding. I can be a good lover when I need to be. I don't want him feeling sick.

[americanskin]

Are you guys going to be alright getting home?

[imtoofabulous]

We're coming back early now. He's a miserable fucking bitch when he's sick. And, you know, it sucks being away when you feel crap.

[americanskin]

You're right, he is. So, Elsa's heart isn't completely frozen over?

[imtoofabulous]

Shush, don't fucking tell anyone :P

[americanskin]

I know your secrets, bitch. You just take care of my boy.

[imtoofabulous]

Yeah, I won't let him drop dead. I'm pretty fucking fond of him myself.

[americanskin]

Who would've thought that would ever be a thing. At least some of us are getting it right.

[imtoofabulous]

It's a hot thing. We still fight like bitches in heat when we clash, but who fucking cares when the sex is fantastic. Ange, what went wrong? What happened? I thought you guys were a sure thing.

[americanskin]

That won't change until either of you drop dead. Nothing went wrong, bub. Things just stopped going at all. I won't be anyone's afterthought. I'd rather be single than someone's Plan B to everything else.

[imtoofabulous]

No, and I like it spicy anyway. I'd be bored as fuck otherwise. I don't do domestic. That's Renz's forte. Is it true, you went on a hot date to The Hamptons and had a lot of hot lesbo sex with someone?

[americanskin]

Yes, I've heard you and Clitty being spicy many times. It wasn't a hot date, it was just a bit of a hook up and some much-needed company. It wasn't some random.

[imtoofabulous]

Earbuds, darling. Earbuds. Who was it?

[americanskin]

How about you take the earbuds and stick them up your ass? It was Jazz.

[imtoofabulous]

Was that a preggo moment? Jazz? Phwoar, she's hot. Go you!

[emilywhereverimayfindher]

I let you fuck my husband and you let him get sick? You're fired.

[imtoofabulous]

It's not my fault. He probably swallowed more than cum when we fucked in the shower.

[emilywhereverimayfindher]

You better take good care of him. Bring him back to me in one piece.

[imtoofabulous]

Bitchpls, I take awesome care of my lover.

[emilywhereverimayfindher]

You better. I love him, even if he's still pissed at me.

[imtoofabulous]

You know... you're harder to talk to these days. You just said the exact same thing twice in a row and IDEK how to respond to it without telling you it's probably the reason your relationship died.

[emilywhereverimayfindher]

I was just trying to reiterate the point... I didn't realize this was going to be added to a reasons Em sucks as a girlfriend list.

[imtoofabulous]

When did you get so self-sacrificial?

[emilywhereverimayfindher]

I'm not sure. I don't like it. I don't like this version of myself anymore than you or Clitty do.

[imtoofabulous]

Yeah, well, I want my sister back. Not this clone who forgets about people and no one knows how to talk to it.

[emilywhereverimayfindher]

I don't forget about anyone, Linc. I do a lot of fucked up things, but I don't forget about people.

[imtoofabulous]

Oh, really? Then you must just ignore them then.

[emilywhereverimayfindher]

I want my family back, Linc.

[imtoofabulous]

Okay. Whatever.

[emilywhereverimayfindher]

What do I have to do to make you not pissed at me?

[imtoofabulous]

Why should I do your fucking dirty work? You got yourself into that mess, you need to figure out why you've changed into someone... not you. Because, to be honest, I've been feeling exactly the same way as Ange has lately. Like you have no fucks to give about anything unless we're calling you out on it.

[emilywhereverimayfindher]

I have plenty of fucks to give. I love you guys. You're my family. It's been a shitty go of things lately. That's all.

[imtoofabulous]

I don't really know how to talk to you anymore.

[nothingelsematters]

Come over here when you get home. You guys can stay over here until he's feeling better.

[imtoofabulous]

Dude, we can't do that. You have a baby and a Lewis.

[nothingelsematters]

A baby and a Lewis LOL. Lewis is flying out for Australia with Jude at the ass-crack of dawn tomorrow, and you guys are family. Come over. You can stay in the guest room. If he doesn't feel any better, I can get Richie to check him over.

[imtoofabulous]

Shit, that's tomorrow? Yes, let's do that. I can finally meet the new brother/cousin/mini-me person. Seriously, dude, I don't want to put you out.

[nothingelsematters]

Yep. I was going to take them to the airport, but it's crazy enough trying to get a baby up and on the go on a normal morning. They're catching a cab. You're not fucking putting me out. I don't mind. He's not contagious, is he?

[imtoofabulous]

Don't worry, if Judie doesn't take care of your man, I'll make him sit on a cactus and spin. Nah, no one else is sick. They warned us about the water.

[nothingelsematters]

Lew's probably more likely to be the one taking care of Jude. He's just that subtle discreet Alpha Male type of person. Just don't tell Jude I said that. Bring him home here, we can take care of him together. It'll distract me from missing Lewis.

[imtoofabulous]

Is that housewife language for power top? Didn't you ban Jude's cock from going anywhere near Lew's ass anyway? Okay, but he's in miserable bitch mode. At least, he was. Now he's just gone quiet, which means he's feeling pretty shit because he's never fucking quiet.

[nothingelsematters]

Housewife? Bitch, fuck you and yo' momma :P Yes, I fucking did. Lew's ass is mine and I'm not sharing. Wow, he is sick. If he goes quiet and can't stomach smokes, then it's SRS BSNS.

[imtoofabulous]

And Renz cuts hard with a yo' momma insult. Are you guys going to do a three-way again any time soon? He's trying to smoke, it's not all that successful.

[nothingelsematters]

I'm no fucking housewife. Lew's been out of action, so I don't fucking know. If he gets better, I get first go. I'm going to call Richie.

[imtoofabulous]

Yeah, you are, and you love it. And now he's going away? Dude, have you worn your wrist out? No, don't. You know he has to be nearly dead before he'll see a doctor.