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[bemydownfall]

That awkward moment when your heart feels like it's gone five rounds with Muhammed Ali and it shows no signs of stopping.

Comments

[artsdesire]

Does it matter if he is or not? It's not about what you give, it's the gesture. Did he used to be someone who would like flowers?

[bemydownfall]

When we were kids, he loved flowers. We used to pick them together.

[artsdesire]

Then he probably still does, dude. I don't think there's many people who don't. Do you know Lorenzo or Mitch? Go see them. You can't beat them for florists.

[bemydownfall]

I've met Lorenzo before. It was actually at his florist shop when I was an intern at my job. I had to pick up flowers for an event. His work is beautiful

[artsdesire]

He's a hardworker. I'm always a fan of giving my money to real people than corporate franchises.

[bemydownfall]

Me, too. You know that it's actually helping someone make a living instead of some dude in an office somewhere buy his fifth vacation home.

I'll definitely try the flowers, though. Even if they're not his most favorite thing ever, I'm sure he'll understand the gesture.

[artsdesire]

Lorenzo has a baby daughter. He was a single dad before he got married, so it's definitely helping him.

Sometimes when you're feeling like shit, there's only really the little things that can help you feel not so shit.

[bemydownfall]

Small businesses are where it's at. Most of the people who own their own business take that much more pride in what they do, too.

If I can make him not feel so shit in any way, no matter how small, I'm willing.

[artsdesire]

How did we stumble upon a boring as fuck conversation topic as small business?

Just don't be a try-hard. No one needs a try-hard. He might not want you so up in his face all the time if you haven't seen him in ages.

[bemydownfall]

I think I'm just in brain overload right now, dude.

No, I don't want that. And I don't want to be up in his face. I just want to help him if I can.

[artsdesire]

Maybe you should talk to him about what he wants with you then. Give him the chance to set some boundaries. It doesn't feel like a good situation to just feel around blindly in and hope you stumble upon the right formula.

[bemydownfall]

No, you're right about that. I've been doing that, and we see how that turned out so far.

[artsdesire]

I just think sometimes people need to be given the option to say how they feel and what they need. Not everyone, but I think people going through stuff deserve it by default to help prevent things getting more complicated for them.

[bemydownfall]

I think I have to be careful, because a huge part of me is just so glad that he's here and I'm seeing him again that I just want to be there, but that doesn't mean he wants me around all the time.

[artsdesire]

It's not always easy to unpack someone's trauma either. They way it exhibits to other people is not always how they're feeling it. You're going to react to what he's showing on the outside. On the inside, it'll be a much more complex and intricate pile of issues.

[bemydownfall]

I'm willing to take the time and effort and walk through it with him, if he's willing to let me. I know it won't be easy. But being without him was harder.

[artsdesire]

Just prompt him. Ask him how he would cope with things the easiest, what you can do to help, that sort of thing.

[bemydownfall]

He has no reason to believe me until I prove it. Which you're right... I can't do without knowing what he needs and wants from me.

[artsdesire]

And considering you don't know him, it might be best to just be straight-forward rather than hoping he might tell you.

[bemydownfall]

Hoping and wishing doesn't get you very far in the grand scheme of things.

[artsdesire]

Maybe it does for some people, who knows?

[bemydownfall]

I guess it does, but hoping and wishing I'll stumble on what he needs instead of asking him about it won't work.

[artsdesire]

No, it'll probably just piss him off. At least, if he's like me and doesn't have a high tolerance for bullshit.

[bemydownfall]

I'm really not getting the feeling that he is.