Quentin Guy Lawrence (![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png)
breakthesilence) wrote in ![[community profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/community.png)
dreamlikenewyork2015-08-18 06:59 pm
breakthesilence) wrote in dreamlikenewyork2015-08-18 06:59 pm
"Lost that lovin' feeling."
Who: Quentin Lawrence and Gen Hart
What: Long time, no see
Where: Mount Sinai, NYC
When: Tuesday morning
Tanner wasn't well again, and Nate had insisted if that happened, they should bring him back to see him. Quentin didn't know what was wrong, but Tanner had a fever all night and he had been crying on and off. His belly seemed to be sore too, so rather than just trying to settle him, Quentin called the hospital and asked when Nate's shift started in the morning so they could see him when he got there. After what happened in Mark's office a few days ago, Quentin had quietly requested that he take Tanner to the hospital on his own this time. It was just something that he needed to do. All that was still a work in progress. Quentin had been sleeping on the couch since the appointment.
So, now he was sitting in the hall waiting for Nate to see them. Of course, Nate's more serious patients had to be seen to first and at this point, Quentin had no idea that Justin was one of them. He hadn't heard the bad news. He had Tanner on his lap nursed against his chest. Tanner had fallen asleep with his head tucked in against Quentin's chest and Quentin was rubbing his back softly while he waited. He didn't matter how long he had to wait. Tanner knew Nate and trusted him. Quentin would wait there for a week for that if he had to. For now, he was just glad Tanner had settled snuggled in against him because it had been another long and unsettled night.
What: Long time, no see
Where: Mount Sinai, NYC
When: Tuesday morning
Tanner wasn't well again, and Nate had insisted if that happened, they should bring him back to see him. Quentin didn't know what was wrong, but Tanner had a fever all night and he had been crying on and off. His belly seemed to be sore too, so rather than just trying to settle him, Quentin called the hospital and asked when Nate's shift started in the morning so they could see him when he got there. After what happened in Mark's office a few days ago, Quentin had quietly requested that he take Tanner to the hospital on his own this time. It was just something that he needed to do. All that was still a work in progress. Quentin had been sleeping on the couch since the appointment.
So, now he was sitting in the hall waiting for Nate to see them. Of course, Nate's more serious patients had to be seen to first and at this point, Quentin had no idea that Justin was one of them. He hadn't heard the bad news. He had Tanner on his lap nursed against his chest. Tanner had fallen asleep with his head tucked in against Quentin's chest and Quentin was rubbing his back softly while he waited. He didn't matter how long he had to wait. Tanner knew Nate and trusted him. Quentin would wait there for a week for that if he had to. For now, he was just glad Tanner had settled snuggled in against him because it had been another long and unsettled night.
no subject
He just looked at her briefly before his gaze shifted. As much as she might have been joking about going to bitchslap Kevin for him, it was just one more thing on top of a whole pile of other things Quentin had been trying to drag himself through that made him feel like a completely incapable waste of space human being who couldn't function in this world without people doing things for him. Maybe it was the straw that broke the camel's back, but he wasn't going to correct her on the fact. He wasn't going to say that he hadn't been talking about the letter, or anything else. The joke about not being able to deal with Kevin himself was just one thing too much and he couldn't switch of the anger. He felt so fucking alone in the world right now, maybe moreso than he had all along. Whatever way he looked, he felt like he couldn't get out of this awful life. Some days, he wondered how he was even still living. Now, there was Tanner, who was a reason that, for now, he had to keep living and the only way he could cope with any of this, with people who had piles of money at their disposal, was to focus on the toddler because everything else made him so angry and hurt. He was hurt, because he had enough of being made to feel useless and incapable. He made himself feel that way plenty when he had to give his son up for adoption. "How can you not understand why? I know the answer to that. Because you've never been left with absolutely nothing, not even your dignity and self-worth. You don't understand how completely mortifying and offensive it is to have people think that you're some sort of fucking charity case who you can just wave a magic wand - or a credit card - around and save everything. You don't understand, and you're incapable of being able to because your first reaction was to wonder why I wasn't just letting Kevin do it. That's why I'm angry, and that's why, right now, I'm sick of people who don't understand what I've been through trying to tell me how to suck eggs of my own life."