burninginside: (071)
Cole Carrington ([personal profile] burninginside) wrote in [community profile] dreamlikenewyork2015-07-15 01:45 pm

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You don't realise how shit life is and how much you've truly fucked up until you get sick and you're completely alone.
arrecho: (012)

[personal profile] arrecho 2015-07-15 04:24 am (UTC)(link)
Are you home from rehab?
arrecho: (053)

[personal profile] arrecho 2015-07-15 01:39 pm (UTC)(link)
You're not well? I can come over if you need someone.
arrecho: (097)

[personal profile] arrecho 2015-07-15 01:45 pm (UTC)(link)
We got back yesterday. You shouldn't be alone after rehab.
arrecho: (169)

[personal profile] arrecho 2015-07-15 01:52 pm (UTC)(link)
I am, but I'll live.

Maybe we need to deal with that on some level then.
arrecho: (001)

[personal profile] arrecho 2015-07-15 02:47 pm (UTC)(link)
Maybe you could meet Presley. You both know Flynn. You don't have to be alone.
arrecho: (110)

[personal profile] arrecho 2015-07-15 02:52 pm (UTC)(link)
Well, tough fucking shit. I do give a fuck. You don't get to tell me if I have to give a fuck or not. You're an addict. You're not a fucking kiddie fiddling incestuous rapist because of it. You're still human, and you're not a cunt of one.
arrecho: (124)

[personal profile] arrecho 2015-07-15 02:57 pm (UTC)(link)
Because until you hit me, I loved you. Then I hated you. And then I came to just pity you, and fear for you. And I don't give a fuck either if you don't want my pity. You get to the point you ruin your life like you do, you can't avoid pity.
arrecho: (096)

[personal profile] arrecho 2015-07-15 03:02 pm (UTC)(link)
Twice. It's been destroyed twice. Some people are lucky to even find it once. You hit me, you didn't kill me. It didn't just flick a switch and stop me caring if you were alive or dead, or if you were okay. I was just terrified if I got near you again, you snap on me again.
arrecho: (014)

[personal profile] arrecho 2015-07-15 03:04 pm (UTC)(link)
That's a big part of the reason, yes. The other part was that I knew once you hit that worse stage of detox, you'd kill yourself this time around if someone didn't try to intervene. And no one else knew that but me, because I'm the only one who saw how close you came last time.
arrecho: (016)

[personal profile] arrecho 2015-07-15 03:06 pm (UTC)(link)
Was that because I came to see you?
arrecho: (080)

[personal profile] arrecho 2015-07-15 03:09 pm (UTC)(link)
You still might do it. You've got nothing and no one. All those thoughts, they're still there. I don't know how anyone else feels, but I don't have any intention of just letting you kill yourself.
arrecho: (048)

[personal profile] arrecho 2015-07-15 03:10 pm (UTC)(link)
I'm sure many other people who have suicided were too.
arrecho: (055)

[personal profile] arrecho 2015-07-15 03:13 pm (UTC)(link)
Presley used to be an addict.
arrecho: (154)

[personal profile] arrecho 2015-07-15 03:16 pm (UTC)(link)
He was an addict. He started using after his mother committed suicide. She jumped out of a window. He knows Des. He met her in rehab.
arrecho: (192)

[personal profile] arrecho 2015-07-15 03:18 pm (UTC)(link)
I don't know what he was like when he was using.
arrecho: (007)

[personal profile] arrecho 2015-07-15 03:20 pm (UTC)(link)
Because I asked him.
arrecho: (077)

[personal profile] arrecho 2015-07-15 03:32 pm (UTC)(link)
Why would I lie to you? I've been honest with you about everything right from the start.
arrecho: (099)

[personal profile] arrecho 2015-07-15 03:35 pm (UTC)(link)
I think all this is a bit beyond that sort of thing, don't you? He knows what you're going through. He's been there. Not just being an addict, but losing a loved one in a horrible way.