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[valuetosurvival]

Will Jackson is single.

Comments

[biggusdickus]

Whoa. Dude... you okay?

[PM]

[valuetosurvival]

Not really. I begged Luke to get me drunk, but I got noped. So mostly I've been crying all day.

[biggusdickus]

You don't want to get drunk, dude. I did that once, it was horrible. I barfed all over the place and got in trouble not just off my folks, but off Haley and Patto. What happened with you guys?

[valuetosurvival]

Yeah, well Luke isn't gonna let me anyway, because he says he's not giving booze to a 16 year old cancer survivor. He said we couldn't work anymore because me and Kolbie were talking about being bothered by the fans mobbing him when we're out together.

[biggusdickus]

I've never even had cancer and I still got in epic shit for it. That's fair enough. I can see both sides. But he's pretty hot shit right now, so I guess people want to meet him and stuff. If I ran into, like, Noel Fisher right now, I'd want to hug the shit out of him.

[valuetosurvival]

I just want to stop feeling like I'm dying. Which sounds stupid coming from someone who really was dying at one point, but I feel like I can't breathe right. I mean, I get wanting to meet him. He's amazing. But it's the ones who can't just say hi and hug him and move on.

[biggusdickus]

Not really. I know that feeling from being bullied. Maybe not the same sort of thing, but the same type of feeling anyway. I guess you can't just pick the ones you think are good and single them out of a crowd. People would get hurt and upset if it wasn't fair game.

[valuetosurvival]

It's just... It feels like life isn't how it's supposed to be now. No, you can't. Then people just sort of think you're a dickhead.

[biggusdickus]

Maybe not, but how do any of us really know how life is "supposed" to be?

[valuetosurvival]

I don't know. I just know that I felt right with Justin, and I don't feel right without him.

[noreasontorun]

If it's any consolation, he's not talking to me either.

[PM]

[valuetosurvival]

He's upset that we told each other about our issues with his fans instead of talking to him about it. But that's just part of it. He's not well, but I don't think it's just about being sick.

[noreasontorun]

I didn't mean to be such a bitch about any of that. I was just frustrated because I never get time with him. Most of the time, he's cancelled on me or had a billion other things on his mind at the same time. I feel like I'm right back at square one, though. He's cut me off before.

[valuetosurvival]

I guess mine was more selfish, because I do get to spend a lot of time with him. But it's mostly just... I don't know, it's the fans who are rude or who don't just say hello and take pictures and move on. I don't know. I don't know what to say to him.

[noreasontorun]

The difference is, you haven't seen how he can be when he wants to push people away this much. This is just how he deals, I guess. I'm not sorry for what I said, because it bugged me that his time was thwarted like that.

[valuetosurvival]

He tried to push me away once before. But not this bad. I'm not really sorry for it, either, but it feels like I'm being selfish.

[noreasontorun]

I'm not going to say he doesn't listen, because that's not at all true. He listens, and probably too closely. He pushed people away when having to think his own thoughts and then someone else's is too much, and it makes his head all fucked up. At least, now that I know he's sick, that's how I translated the time he yelled at me to shut up and fuck off right before I never heard from him again.

[valuetosurvival]

I know it's hard for him to find his feet in times like that... when he's trying to take on board what everyone else is saying, and his own feelings, too. I should've just told him in the beginning how I felt and we could've worked through it.

[noreasontorun]

Sure, but would you have ever gotten used to the fans? I've watched him with them. He just sort of responds to them. There doesn't seem to be a thought process in it. He doesn't really let them engaged with him for a long time either. He moves them along quickly. Just, when there's hoards of them, it feels like that takes forever and next thing you know, the time is up and he has to go to work.

[valuetosurvival]

I feel like if we'd just talked about it, maybe I wouldn't have gotten so upset about it before I came to understand how he felt about it. Maybe if I'd just listened to him and talked to him about it, I wouldn't have upset him so much.