"Now there's a strange way and awkward feelings..."

[lifeguardoflove]

Who: Kade King and Alec Campbell
What: Shitstorm of Family Matters
Where: Sydney, AU
When: After this

Kade poured the bottle of chilled spring water from he mini bar fridge into a glass. He set it down on the nightstand by the sprawling king sized bed and collected the stainless steel bin from the bathroom, bringing it through and placing it on the floor by the bed with a mumbled sigh of, "Don't know what the fuck I'm even doing..."

Against his better judgement and the practical little voice in his head telling him not to, once Alec finished barfing up everything he had eaten in a week in hospital carpark, Kade suggested to Alec they fork out for a room in the hotel nextdoor to the hospital so Alec could lie down and try to sleep off the hangover for a couple of hours so he could get his head back in the game for his family. Kade planned to just leave him there in his own misery but both Sam and Ava's pointed words to both of them to sort their shit out was swirling around his head. Plus, no matter how pissed off he was, his conscience wouldn't let him leave Alec while he was feeling this rough.

Alec was lying on the bed where he gingerly sunk himself onto as soon as Kade opened the door to the room with the swipe card. Kade went back to the bathroom and wet one of the face cloths, coming back and handing it to Alec. Then he sat on the side of the bed, swiping a hand over his face. The anger had dissipated inside him and now he wasn't even sure what he was feeling, let alone what he should be feeling. Whatever it was, it was hard not to feel like it was the end of a very long road, one that he had encountered nothing but dead-ends on lately. He really thought he was done. There had been a glimmer of hope after they slept together in the midst of trying to talk their shit out after he came to the hospital to offer the Campbells his support, but yet again, Alec gave nothing. Kade was sick to fucking death of nothing.

Comments

[circlesofthemind]

"I don't think any of us are emotionally equipped to confront the awful possibility that this could signal the end of Justin's dance career or what's even supposed to happen if it does. Catastrophising anything pre-emptively won't help anyone, least of all Justin because he has overcome things in the past he probably shouldn't have even survived. It's just hard to be positive and hopeful. The thing is, I know Jus would be fighting all this with any iota of strength he has left but he has none because he's crushed about Sash. No one can tell him if it's going to be okay or if he should keep trying to hang on. Sash might not regain this portion of his memory, though. Then because he's brain-injured, he might not be the person Justin fell in love with anymore and that means he might not fall in love with Justin. Jus know this and there aren't enough words to describe how painfully heartbreaking it is to lose someone who is still there physically but you've lost them in mind, heart, and soul. I think Sparky feels he's too inadequate to help Jus through this and even if we can rationally know that it's his mind playing tricks on him - and Sparky even knows it - that doesn't prevent him feeling it. That's what mental illness is. The best analogy I've ever heard is if we're mentally unwell, that it's like our own brain gaslighting us all the time in varying degrees. I've been thinking about that a lot since we finally deduced Sparky has bipolar too. Genetics. Both my biological parents died from cancer. Hell, it's how they met, having chemo together. You're right, I think I just got a bit carried away last night. There's usually something I can do to help my family, but this time, there's fucking nothing." Alec gave a resolute shake of his head. "But on the upside? It forced us to have shit out finally. You called me out, just like you bloody well should have. I've been a fucking dick. We should never have broken up. If we hadn't, you wouldn't have gotten sick. Even then, I should've been with you when you did. I should've been taking care of you while you were ill and recovering. You've got to be feeling like I'm incapable of listening when you need me to the most. Or like I hear everyone else but you... and I'm so sorry for that."