Cillian's mouth dropped open in surprise and he cupped his hand under his chin with a shake of his head, listening to Jesse walk him through the six degrees of separation he never knew he had to his son. It was so close and it blew his mind. New York was the biggest city in the world, it hadn't occurred to him Euan might know Merlin or even know someone who knew him. It had been a long time since Euan was last in Ireland and Cillian and his cousin had a pint with him. Euan always said to give him a call if he was ever in New York but it had been years since Cillian ever made the trek to the US. "Fuckin' hell. Aye, that's who I mean. His reputation precedes him, o' course. But I don't know what I'm even 'sposed to do with that. It's just real hard to reconcile that I've missed so much. I've got a kid but he's not a kid and he doesn't need a dad. He has this whole... complicated, painful, beautiful life that doesn't really need me in. I've no experience as a parent but there's this strange pull inside that I just want to do anythin' I can to help him. Probably the hardest and most confusin' thing I've e'er felt in my life and I guess that' sayin' somethin' considerin' I'm sittin' here without the use o' my legs. I'm not sure I'm even doin' the right thing anymore." He cleared his throat, shifting into territory he wasn't sure how to begin to figure out. "Can I ask how ya' connected with him once he found out he was adopted and ya' were his brother? He knew ya' as his brother's friend but that's a world apart from brother, on a deep emotional level."