Caprice "Reecy" Chester (![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png)
headingforsomething) wrote in ![[community profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/community.png)
dreamlikenewyork2022-04-18 08:50 pm
headingforsomething) wrote in dreamlikenewyork2022-04-18 08:50 pm
"Any fool can make a baby, but it takes a man, to raise a child."
Who: Reecy Chester-Wilson and Kyan Wilson
What: Maybe baby...
Where: Chester-Wilson home, NYC
When: Happening while Justin and Sash are in hospital in Sydney
Normally, Reecy would be all over Kyan when he got back from his early morning run and training session at the gym with Sawyer. He had this delicious raw sexiness to him when he was sweaty and pumped with adrenaline and she liked to take advantage of that. Of course, she liked the mornings they got to sleep in together on their days off and could snuggle as long as they like. She wished it was one of those mornings.
Being winter, she wasn’t treated to the delicious view of her husband in shorts and a tank top. Instead, it was sweatpants and a hoodie but he still looked as inviting as any other day. She was sitting in their bed wearing his winter robe, the covers pulled up around her. “Ky? Can you come here for a sec, gorgeous?” she called out to him before he headed into the shower. It was too tempting to follow him in there and she needed to talk to him first.
Kyan had been heading up the hall quietly to rinse his water bottle out, assuming Reecy was still sleep. When she wasn’t well at the theatre the day before when Autumn came to see her, Kyan brought her home and put her to bed. He took care of her and fussed over her. She had the night off work at his insistence but right up until he had to head back to the theatre, he cuddled with her and stayed near in case she needed anything. He had every intention of letting her sleep as late as she wanted to and if she felt a little better when she got up, was going to make her breakfast. He backtracked up the hall when she called out to him. “Hey… what are you doing awake, beautiful? How are you feeling?” he asked, sitting on the side of the bed beside her, leaning in for a kiss.
“Ask me in a few minutes,” Reecy murmured, taking his hand and hugging it to her chest. She linked her fingers with his, enjoying the feeling of how his warm hand much larger around hers. “So, you know how we both got sick with that tummy bug and you were a little harder hit than I was…?”
Kyan gave her a sheepish smile, dipping his head and feeling the heat creep into his cheeks. “Let’s not discuss those gory details. But okay, I had the whole deal and you lucked out with just nausea and throwing up. I feel fine now, though, and you were still poorly yesterday. I think we were just germ-swapping, not necessarily hitting us at the same time.”
Reecy caught her lip between her teeth and shook her head slowly, hesitantly. She patted his hand. “I think you caught a bug but not off me,” she tried to explain. For all the rehearsing of this she did in her head, she still wasn’t sure how it was going to sound out loud. “Are you with me, sweetie?”
“Not really,” Kyan admitted uncertainly with a laugh. “Should I be? Can I buy a vowel? We were both pretty sick and wiped out when it hit. You just had the luxury of not being stuck on the toilet all morning. But we did stick with those in sickness and in health vows, no matter how embarrassing that was. You still kept me company through the door. Married life, huh?”
“Don’t worry, you didn’t lose any sexy points and you have the cutest sick face.” Reecy brought his hand to her lips and kissed his fingers. She took a breath and then let it out quickly. “Ky, sweetie, I… think I might be pregnant. I think maybe you had the bug and I had morning sickness. Please say something because I’m totally freaking out and I need you.” Her words came out in a rush and she had a distinct urge to climb into his lap and cling to him for dear life.
Kyan’s mouth dropped open and he forgot how to get words to form for a few moments. “I-I… um… don’t you have…” he trailed off, pointing to his bicep. It wasn’t so much that what she was suggesting was shocking but he was sure it wasn’t on the cards for them. They were pursuing adoption and understood that could be a long process. Reecy had bad experiences with pregnancy in the past. An abortion she struggled emotionally with and miscarrying twins. It was all something she had been open and honest with him about, that they discussed at length before they got married. He gathered himself quickly and leaned over to pull her into a cuddle. Whatever was happening, they were doing it together. “Shit, okay. Um… you think this is more likely than swapping germs with me? We share a hell of a lot of bodily fluids, beautiful.”
Reecy made a sound that was a cross between a whimper and a moan, folding into the security of his arms. “Yes, I’ve had the implant in my arm since I miscarried that time and yes, it’s supposed to be an extremely effective method of birth control. One of the best. But none is foolproof. Yes, it’s more likely we’ve been swapping germs because yes, I can’t keep my hands off you and even now when I’m still nauseous, I want to run my hands all over your sweaty body and do extensive wifely things to you. It’s just… I’m late and while that’s not completely unusual for me, it’s not the norm and you were way sicker than me but you got better and mine ‘came back’ this morning. And yesterday morning at the theatre. I’m driving myself fucking crazy. It’s like the more I think about it, the more I feel it.”
Now that she was highlighting all the points, Kyan had to face them head-on. He couldn’t deny whatever 24 or 48 hour bug that he had was different to Reecy. He was knocked on his butt for the entire time but did bounce back quickly and was feeling fine now. Hers was intermittent and now he was wracking his brain on it, it was definitely more intermittent in the mornings. But they had been together awhile now and only really used condoms for the first few weeks they were together on account of the fact she had the implant. There hadn’t even been any scares or hints there could be a chance of one. He laughed, it escaping it before he could stop it and then put his fist up to his mouth, giving her a wide-eyed glance akin to a deer caught in headlights. “Okay… okay. What do we do? What do you need me to do, beautiful? I’m… okay, I’m not freaked out. Should I be freaking out?”
“That’s okay. I think I’m freaking out enough for both of us.” Reecy was chewing her lip again and pulled back so she could get a close look of her husband’s face. He looked shocked, as to be expected. It wasn’t like she had any precedents with something like this to pre-empt how he would react. Even though she was absolutely freaking out, she hadn’t been terrified to tell him. The opposite, really. She desperately wanted to tell him as soon as it hit her when she was on her knees praying to the porcelain god - again - not long after he went out for his run. She nearly called him as soon as it hit her but it wasn’t something to do over the phone. Kyan being Kyan, the beautiful, sweet, attentive lover that he was, was immediately asking what he could do to help. But she had worked herself up so much, she was shaking. “You mean… if it was a thing, you would be okay with it…? Even though I’ve dicked you around and said I don’t want to be pregnant ever again and we’ve been dragging ourselves through the adoption process?”
Kyan took her hands and kissed her palms. “I’m going to make you a cup of tea, okay? Peppermint. I think we still have some left. I’m not trying to dodge this but I want to be able to do something to help. Even if you can’t keep it down.” He stood but didn’t leave. Instead, he kissed her forehead and tucked her hair behind her ears. “Do you know the thing about things? They can change. And, you know, honestly if you were okay with it, I think I’d be over the moon. But that doesn’t mean I wasn’t okay with our decisions before. I was. What I’m trying to say is, I’d be only okay with it if you are. I know how you feel about pregnancy with the trauma you went through. Having said all that, I don’t think you should stress yourself out on a hunch. I don’t want you stressing. It’s okay. We’ve got this, whatever it turns out to be.”
Reecy’s eyes slipped closed with the forehead kiss. He was a master with the romantic affection and she was addicted to it. She was pretty sure she always would be. She pushed the covers away. “So, we find out? I’ll put the kettle on if you want to go to the drug store to get a test. Actually, get, like, five. Different brands. I don’t know if I’ll trust the outcome of one test.”
Kyan gave her another kiss and ran out of the room, nodding with a determination like he was on some top secret special ops mission. He was back a couple of moments later. “Hold on, how do I know what I’m getting? I’ve never done anything like this before. I don’t even think I’ve been in the aisle with pregnancy tests. Ever. How do I know what I’m looking for? What one’s the best? We should get the best, right? Is the most expensive one the best or is this one of those trick situations where the best is really the most basic and accurate or something?” He stood there wringing his hands. “Okay, I’m maybe freaking out just a little bit now.”
Reecy held up her hands and then leaned over to grab his, tugging him down into another hug. “Hey, I’m not an expert on any of this. Sure, I know I had a couple of false starts but both times I was not in a happy marriage and I ran to daddy panicking my ass off. And he did his doctor thing but both times I pretty much already knew it was a foregone conclusion and my own fault. Not that I’m saying anyone’s at fault here. I just… hypothetically, say this turns out to be a thing, we have a lot to talk about and I think I’d kind of want to hold off on telling anyone. I don’t know how I’m supposed to be feeling and I haven’t had enough time or confirmation to figure that out yet. Maybe if you just go and grab whatever tests you think look good and I’ll sit here and try to will on my period so neither of us has to freak out?”
Kyan had easily fallen into her hug but now he was digging his phone out of his pocket. “Can I Google the best ones? Do they have, like, a TripAdvisor thing but for pregnancy tests? How do girls choose the tampons and stuff?” he asked, pointing at the screen. But he sat up again, wetting his lips. “Um, so, hypothetically you wouldn’t want it to be a thing if it turned out to be a thing? If it was a thing, you wouldn’t want to keep the thing? Which, that’s okay. It’s okay that you don’t know how to feel. I just want you to know that I… um, I think I’d be okay with it. If it was a thing. A thing we didn’t know could be a thing because… actually, I can’t keep calling it a thing when it might not be a thing. Let me just look up the best tests.” He was back to trying to Google what the hell he should be looking for at the nearest store at the end of their block.
“TripAdvisor for pregnancy tests?” Reecy couldn’t help bursting out laughing, probably more out of nerves than anything else. “Baby, just get the tests. One of every one if you want. It doesn’t matter. Whatever it takes to figure out if this is way more than a thing. But we figure it out together, yeah? All the way. I’m not saying I wouldn’t want it to be a thing. I’m saying I wasn’t expecting it and I didn’t think it would be something I’d face again. It would be easier if it wasn’t happening, there’s no doubt about that. But when have we ever taken the easy route?”
Kyan took a deep breath to stop himself panicking too much and cupped Reecy face in his hands to give her another kiss. “Okay. I can do that. While I’m there, is there anything else you need or want? Something for your stomach? Aspirin? I have no idea what I should be offering right now.” He swept her hair out of her face and gave her a smile, even if his stomach was flip-flopping with nerves. “I love you. We’re always going to be a team, no matter what happens.”
Reecy drew in a deep breath and smile, stroking his cheek. “That’s all I need you to offer. Being terrified together counts. I love you. Just don’t go into debt buying every test in Walgreens.” She kissed him back and pushed the covers back so she could go put the kettle on. She wished nausea would stop sloshing around in her stomach. That might mean all this was just in her head. She just wasn’t sure if she really did want it all to be in her there. The last two disasters when she fell pregnant, one she terminated and one she so desperately wanted to get right, Kyan wasn’t her partner in crime. Since they started dating, he made her feel like they could literally take on the world together and win. He was the person who made her stop thinking that she didn’t deserve to meet her soul mate.
Kyan was even more lost at the pharmacy than he thought. There was literally a wall of pregnancy test options, ironically close to the wall of condoms. They had made the joint decision for him to stop using condoms when they got engaged. Reecy had the implant thing. Once she told him she didn’t think she wanted to go through another pregnancy but they did want kids, adoption wasn’t a difficult choice. But life had this weird and surreal way of being unpredictable, even when you were sure you were on an even keel.
In the end, he piled one of every test into his basket. The better looking ones, he picked two of each. Until a customer service lady came up and asked him if he needed help, giving him a knowing smile and congratulated him on his success with Dirty Dancing. Which, of course, immediately triggered an absolute panic in him. But she must have anticipated that too because she winked at him and told him he had her confidentiality and she really could help out if he needed it. He gratefully accepted it with a sigh of relief and all she said to him was, ‘Remember, she has to pee on all these. When have you ever peed that much?’ He was pretty sure that was the best advice he could have gotten.
He came away with five. All seemed to do the same thing, just in a different way. He liked the idea of the little digital screens, figuring they must be more accurate or something. Really, he was mansplaining all this to himself via an inner monologue and actually had no effing clue what he was doing. Mostly, it was just controlled panic and overthinking about what was supposed to happen when they got the results - positive or negative. Because it was opening a dialogue between them that they hadn’t needed or wanted before.
On the way home, he took a quick detour to the candy store where he was conscious he was still in his workout gear and hadn’t even showered. He tried to avoid getting too close to anyone in case he smelled. He was pretty sure if he had a BO problem his wife would have clued him in, but he was always the sort to play it on the safe side. He bought a big bag of Reecy’s favourite candy and two pints of her favourite Ben & Jerry’s (Triple Caramel Chunk, she was a caramel girl through and through). He was battling with his key in the front door lock when it hit him how ironic this predicament was hitting right when both their exes returned to New York after extended absences. He felt a little like he was the starring act in a sitcom. He only got it unlocked when he realised he had been trying to open it with the garage key.
“Reec, baby?” Kyan called out when he finally got the door open and came in lugging the bags. He dumped everything on the kitchen counter and raked through the bags to find all the tests he got. And things went downhill from there. Reecy didn’t answer him, which was weird. Even in the shower, she would have heard him. The bathroom shared a wall with the hallway. He had no idea how he kept his shit together as well as he did when he found her passed out on the bathroom floor with blood dripped across the tiles. Everything after that was a weird blur of panic.
“I’m so sorry I scared you, gorgeous. I feel so fucking stupid,” Reecy murmured where she was now sitting propped up in bed amongst a mound of pillows while Kyan was so carefully tending to a cut on her forehead.
Kyan paused in dabbing Reecy’s nasty looking cut with some antiseptic on a cotton ball and gave her an incredulous look. “Hey, why are you apologising, baby? You passed out and hit your head. I’d freak out if you had a paper cut that drew blood. I love you, that’s my job. I was literally two seconds away from calling 911 when you came-to. And just for the record, I’m still freaked that you passed out but I know you don’t want me to call your dad because of… the thing. Possible thing. I’ve never known you to pass out, not even when you’re drunk.”
On top of the nausea, Reecy now had a headache but Kyan was being so gentle and tender with her, she was barely feeling the sting when the antiseptic hit the cut. “Except… when I’m pregnant,” she revealed and gave him a sheepish look, scrunching up her face. “I was anemic both times and got borderline hyperemesis with the first and the full-blown bitch when I had the twins pregnancy. I couldn’t eat when I had morning sickness. Plus, I think I might be dehydrated. Or I’m just overthinking absolutely everything because it all feels like a sign of… the thing. I need to take the test. At least one of them.” She pushed the covers aside to get up.
“Whoa, whoa, hey! No. No, you have to take it easy or you’ll pass out again.” Kyan stopped her before she could get off the bed. But he knew his wife and she was a champion at being headstrong and stubborn. Even if he thought it was best she stay in bed and rest, at least until she wasn’t woozy anymore, she wouldn’t. He heaved a long-suffering sigh, giving her a knowing smile before he scooped her up into his arms carefully. “I realise I’m distinctly risking being vomited on here. It could finally be payback for my terrible faux pas in Colorado.” He carried her to the bathroom where he had dropped the bag of tests as soon as he saw she was out cold on the tiles.
Reecy smiled, despite feeling pretty rotten. She was madly in love with how beautiful he was and how he had that nurturing TLC thing down like a pro. It came naturally to him and she loved reciprocating. Even through these recent days where they were both feeling sick, she still wanted to take care of him. Which is how she realised whatever she had might be different to what Kyan was suffering with. He was taken down hard and quick, but recovered in a couple days. A couple of days more lately, she was still in this mess. “Just because I love you so much and happen to really love this tank top on you, I’ll try my best to aim away if that happens.”
Kyan felt like she was extremely breakable and took great care placing her down to sit on the closed toilet. He scooped up a handful of test boxes from where they were still strewn on the floor and handed them to her. “Okay! I’ll, um, wait in the kitchen? Just down the hall. Call me if you need anything or if you feel dizzy again and I’ll be right here. Do you need, like, a glass of water or the tap on to help you go or something? I don’t want you moving too much.”
“Ky, babe, you’re my husband. Just wait while I pee. We’ve been married long enough to buck modesty.” Reecy quickly analysed the boxes and picked the one that looked like it would do a good job (Clearblue, digital), tearing it open. She handed Kyan the empty box and the instructions, then quickly got to doing what she had to do with the stick.
Kyan looked away, still feeling shy about invading her privacy, even if it was by invitation. “Is this a thing couples usually do? I mean, I know guys pee in front of each other but… okay, I’m sorry. I’m nervous. I’ll shut up.” He shook out the instructions, trying to concentrate on reading them. Concentrating was impossible. He busied himself with picking up the rest of the tests and shoving them back into the pharmacy bag.
Reecy smirked and finished up, setting the test stick on the edge of the vanity on a strip of toilet paper. She got up slowly to flush the toilet “Set your timer for three minutes, honeybunch. And yes, couples pee in front of each other, gorgeous. You’re just more shy than, well, probably most guys ever. Which I find adorable but I have absolutely no shame peeing in front of my husband or my husband peeing in front of me, by the way.” She washed her hands, fighting the urge to grab the stick and watch that damn hourglass until it flashed back a result.
Kyan set his phone and put it down beside the test stick. He moved over to the closed toilet and sat down, pulling Reecy into his lap. He cuddled her close and nuzzled her neck. “You realise that once this is done, no matter what the result, I’m taking you back to bed to rest. I’ll call Caden and tell him you’re still not well. I’m worried about you. I was freaking out that you slipped and put yourself in a coma or something. I just… shit…”
“I know.” Reecy put her head on his shoulder, her arms wrapped around his waist. “I’m sorry. I thought we had this marriage thing all worked out. Now this. Now you have to see me pee,” she added, joking to try to lighten the mood a little.
Kyan laughed, closing his eyes and shaking his head. “Oh, the tragedy. Does this mean you’re going to want me to reciprocate. Tit for tat? You realise I have extensive performance anxiety? Whenever I can get away with using a stall in the men’s room, I do. Urinals come with a whole lot of issues I’d rather not deal with.”
Reecy was laughing too, about to banter back but the timer started to buzz, signalling the time on the test was up. She made a little squeak of surprise, pressing her fingers to her lips. “Oh my god, I can’t look. Can you look? I can’t do it! Whatever it says, we’re going to be okay, right? We can figure it out somehow?”
“We can look together, okay? All of this, we’re together. Of course we’re going to be okay.” Kyan reached over and picked up the test stick but before he looked, he he gave Reecy a gentle smile and kissed her forehead, then her lips. “I won’t even ask if you’re ready, I know you’re not. We look on three?”
Reecy inhaled quickly, biting her lip. She swallowed around a lump of anxiety and nodded. “Okay, three. One… two… three…” She watched as Kyan turned the stick over and held it up so they could both see what the reading on the little digitala screen was.
Pregnant
3+ weeks
Kyan blinked, not sure his eyes were working properly. “Oh, shit,” he gasped. “Oh my god. Okay, um… are you okay, baby? Is this… I, um… holy hell. Y-You’re really pregnant?”
Reecy nodded, tears welling up in her eyes. She laughed through them. “It looks like it. And I… I think I might be okay with it. Are you okay? Is this okay? Are we okay?” Her voice was shaky as she got hit with a whole pile of emotions at once. She felt strangely exhilarated with it, but the nausea was still there. She was sure if she didn’t hear how Kyan felt about this in the next few moment, she might end up puking again if the shock set in. “Say something?”
“Shit, I’m over the moon!” Kyan admitted with a grin, the words coming out in a rushed whisper when his own emotions choked him up. He wrapped her in another protective hug and gave her an excited kiss, placing his hand gently over her stomach. It was yet another moment in his life it was going to hit him that his mom wasn’t there and wouldn’t be there to meet her grandchild, if that was where all this lead. He welled up too. “Oh my god, I can’t believe you’re pregnant. Are you really okay with it? I know you were scared and you didn’t want this. We can talk about it. We should talk about it…”
Reecy shook her head and softly put her fingers to his lips, hushin him before he got too worked up and panicked. “We’re going to have a baby. And I’m terrified and freaking out it’s all going to go wrong again but this time, I have you. I’m not doing it alone. We’re pregnant,” she corrected with a shaky laugh. She spotted his tears and wiped them from his cheek with her thumb. “I have the best baby daddy in the world. We’ll figure it out, right? I just… I don’t want to tell anyone yet. I mean, beyond an OB/GYN to get checked out and figure out what the hell I’m supposed to be doing now. Can we wait? Maybe just until we get over the point I miscarried last time. I’m scared to get my hopes up.”
Kyan nodded, stroking her hair. “We can wait as long as you need. Whatever it takes, I’m here. I’m going to take care of you… of both of you… I promise. Anything you need, I want to help. But first, you need to be in bed.” He lifted her into his arms again and couldn’t resist giving her another kiss. “I can’t believe this is happening.”
“I hope that’s not an innocent taking me to bed because now it makes sense why I’ve been so horny these past couple of week.” Reecy grinned, her nose scrunching up. “I mean, it’s scientific fact you can sleep better after an orgasm. Just saying…”
Kyan took her back to bed, shaking his head fondly. “How about I meet you halfway on that arrangement? Halfway… down,” he added for emphasis as he placed her on the bed and started to untie the sash on her robe.
Reecy’s intake of breath was sharp with anticipation when he moved to settle between her legs. Her fingers reflexively went to thread through his hair. Arousal shot through her, possibly more intense with apparent pregnancy hormones rushing through her. “Baby, this is an arrangement I’ll never have any objections to…”
LOG, COMPLETE
What: Maybe baby...
Where: Chester-Wilson home, NYC
When: Happening while Justin and Sash are in hospital in Sydney
Normally, Reecy would be all over Kyan when he got back from his early morning run and training session at the gym with Sawyer. He had this delicious raw sexiness to him when he was sweaty and pumped with adrenaline and she liked to take advantage of that. Of course, she liked the mornings they got to sleep in together on their days off and could snuggle as long as they like. She wished it was one of those mornings.
Being winter, she wasn’t treated to the delicious view of her husband in shorts and a tank top. Instead, it was sweatpants and a hoodie but he still looked as inviting as any other day. She was sitting in their bed wearing his winter robe, the covers pulled up around her. “Ky? Can you come here for a sec, gorgeous?” she called out to him before he headed into the shower. It was too tempting to follow him in there and she needed to talk to him first.
Kyan had been heading up the hall quietly to rinse his water bottle out, assuming Reecy was still sleep. When she wasn’t well at the theatre the day before when Autumn came to see her, Kyan brought her home and put her to bed. He took care of her and fussed over her. She had the night off work at his insistence but right up until he had to head back to the theatre, he cuddled with her and stayed near in case she needed anything. He had every intention of letting her sleep as late as she wanted to and if she felt a little better when she got up, was going to make her breakfast. He backtracked up the hall when she called out to him. “Hey… what are you doing awake, beautiful? How are you feeling?” he asked, sitting on the side of the bed beside her, leaning in for a kiss.
“Ask me in a few minutes,” Reecy murmured, taking his hand and hugging it to her chest. She linked her fingers with his, enjoying the feeling of how his warm hand much larger around hers. “So, you know how we both got sick with that tummy bug and you were a little harder hit than I was…?”
Kyan gave her a sheepish smile, dipping his head and feeling the heat creep into his cheeks. “Let’s not discuss those gory details. But okay, I had the whole deal and you lucked out with just nausea and throwing up. I feel fine now, though, and you were still poorly yesterday. I think we were just germ-swapping, not necessarily hitting us at the same time.”
Reecy caught her lip between her teeth and shook her head slowly, hesitantly. She patted his hand. “I think you caught a bug but not off me,” she tried to explain. For all the rehearsing of this she did in her head, she still wasn’t sure how it was going to sound out loud. “Are you with me, sweetie?”
“Not really,” Kyan admitted uncertainly with a laugh. “Should I be? Can I buy a vowel? We were both pretty sick and wiped out when it hit. You just had the luxury of not being stuck on the toilet all morning. But we did stick with those in sickness and in health vows, no matter how embarrassing that was. You still kept me company through the door. Married life, huh?”
“Don’t worry, you didn’t lose any sexy points and you have the cutest sick face.” Reecy brought his hand to her lips and kissed his fingers. She took a breath and then let it out quickly. “Ky, sweetie, I… think I might be pregnant. I think maybe you had the bug and I had morning sickness. Please say something because I’m totally freaking out and I need you.” Her words came out in a rush and she had a distinct urge to climb into his lap and cling to him for dear life.
Kyan’s mouth dropped open and he forgot how to get words to form for a few moments. “I-I… um… don’t you have…” he trailed off, pointing to his bicep. It wasn’t so much that what she was suggesting was shocking but he was sure it wasn’t on the cards for them. They were pursuing adoption and understood that could be a long process. Reecy had bad experiences with pregnancy in the past. An abortion she struggled emotionally with and miscarrying twins. It was all something she had been open and honest with him about, that they discussed at length before they got married. He gathered himself quickly and leaned over to pull her into a cuddle. Whatever was happening, they were doing it together. “Shit, okay. Um… you think this is more likely than swapping germs with me? We share a hell of a lot of bodily fluids, beautiful.”
Reecy made a sound that was a cross between a whimper and a moan, folding into the security of his arms. “Yes, I’ve had the implant in my arm since I miscarried that time and yes, it’s supposed to be an extremely effective method of birth control. One of the best. But none is foolproof. Yes, it’s more likely we’ve been swapping germs because yes, I can’t keep my hands off you and even now when I’m still nauseous, I want to run my hands all over your sweaty body and do extensive wifely things to you. It’s just… I’m late and while that’s not completely unusual for me, it’s not the norm and you were way sicker than me but you got better and mine ‘came back’ this morning. And yesterday morning at the theatre. I’m driving myself fucking crazy. It’s like the more I think about it, the more I feel it.”
Now that she was highlighting all the points, Kyan had to face them head-on. He couldn’t deny whatever 24 or 48 hour bug that he had was different to Reecy. He was knocked on his butt for the entire time but did bounce back quickly and was feeling fine now. Hers was intermittent and now he was wracking his brain on it, it was definitely more intermittent in the mornings. But they had been together awhile now and only really used condoms for the first few weeks they were together on account of the fact she had the implant. There hadn’t even been any scares or hints there could be a chance of one. He laughed, it escaping it before he could stop it and then put his fist up to his mouth, giving her a wide-eyed glance akin to a deer caught in headlights. “Okay… okay. What do we do? What do you need me to do, beautiful? I’m… okay, I’m not freaked out. Should I be freaking out?”
“That’s okay. I think I’m freaking out enough for both of us.” Reecy was chewing her lip again and pulled back so she could get a close look of her husband’s face. He looked shocked, as to be expected. It wasn’t like she had any precedents with something like this to pre-empt how he would react. Even though she was absolutely freaking out, she hadn’t been terrified to tell him. The opposite, really. She desperately wanted to tell him as soon as it hit her when she was on her knees praying to the porcelain god - again - not long after he went out for his run. She nearly called him as soon as it hit her but it wasn’t something to do over the phone. Kyan being Kyan, the beautiful, sweet, attentive lover that he was, was immediately asking what he could do to help. But she had worked herself up so much, she was shaking. “You mean… if it was a thing, you would be okay with it…? Even though I’ve dicked you around and said I don’t want to be pregnant ever again and we’ve been dragging ourselves through the adoption process?”
Kyan took her hands and kissed her palms. “I’m going to make you a cup of tea, okay? Peppermint. I think we still have some left. I’m not trying to dodge this but I want to be able to do something to help. Even if you can’t keep it down.” He stood but didn’t leave. Instead, he kissed her forehead and tucked her hair behind her ears. “Do you know the thing about things? They can change. And, you know, honestly if you were okay with it, I think I’d be over the moon. But that doesn’t mean I wasn’t okay with our decisions before. I was. What I’m trying to say is, I’d be only okay with it if you are. I know how you feel about pregnancy with the trauma you went through. Having said all that, I don’t think you should stress yourself out on a hunch. I don’t want you stressing. It’s okay. We’ve got this, whatever it turns out to be.”
Reecy’s eyes slipped closed with the forehead kiss. He was a master with the romantic affection and she was addicted to it. She was pretty sure she always would be. She pushed the covers away. “So, we find out? I’ll put the kettle on if you want to go to the drug store to get a test. Actually, get, like, five. Different brands. I don’t know if I’ll trust the outcome of one test.”
Kyan gave her another kiss and ran out of the room, nodding with a determination like he was on some top secret special ops mission. He was back a couple of moments later. “Hold on, how do I know what I’m getting? I’ve never done anything like this before. I don’t even think I’ve been in the aisle with pregnancy tests. Ever. How do I know what I’m looking for? What one’s the best? We should get the best, right? Is the most expensive one the best or is this one of those trick situations where the best is really the most basic and accurate or something?” He stood there wringing his hands. “Okay, I’m maybe freaking out just a little bit now.”
Reecy held up her hands and then leaned over to grab his, tugging him down into another hug. “Hey, I’m not an expert on any of this. Sure, I know I had a couple of false starts but both times I was not in a happy marriage and I ran to daddy panicking my ass off. And he did his doctor thing but both times I pretty much already knew it was a foregone conclusion and my own fault. Not that I’m saying anyone’s at fault here. I just… hypothetically, say this turns out to be a thing, we have a lot to talk about and I think I’d kind of want to hold off on telling anyone. I don’t know how I’m supposed to be feeling and I haven’t had enough time or confirmation to figure that out yet. Maybe if you just go and grab whatever tests you think look good and I’ll sit here and try to will on my period so neither of us has to freak out?”
Kyan had easily fallen into her hug but now he was digging his phone out of his pocket. “Can I Google the best ones? Do they have, like, a TripAdvisor thing but for pregnancy tests? How do girls choose the tampons and stuff?” he asked, pointing at the screen. But he sat up again, wetting his lips. “Um, so, hypothetically you wouldn’t want it to be a thing if it turned out to be a thing? If it was a thing, you wouldn’t want to keep the thing? Which, that’s okay. It’s okay that you don’t know how to feel. I just want you to know that I… um, I think I’d be okay with it. If it was a thing. A thing we didn’t know could be a thing because… actually, I can’t keep calling it a thing when it might not be a thing. Let me just look up the best tests.” He was back to trying to Google what the hell he should be looking for at the nearest store at the end of their block.
“TripAdvisor for pregnancy tests?” Reecy couldn’t help bursting out laughing, probably more out of nerves than anything else. “Baby, just get the tests. One of every one if you want. It doesn’t matter. Whatever it takes to figure out if this is way more than a thing. But we figure it out together, yeah? All the way. I’m not saying I wouldn’t want it to be a thing. I’m saying I wasn’t expecting it and I didn’t think it would be something I’d face again. It would be easier if it wasn’t happening, there’s no doubt about that. But when have we ever taken the easy route?”
Kyan took a deep breath to stop himself panicking too much and cupped Reecy face in his hands to give her another kiss. “Okay. I can do that. While I’m there, is there anything else you need or want? Something for your stomach? Aspirin? I have no idea what I should be offering right now.” He swept her hair out of her face and gave her a smile, even if his stomach was flip-flopping with nerves. “I love you. We’re always going to be a team, no matter what happens.”
Reecy drew in a deep breath and smile, stroking his cheek. “That’s all I need you to offer. Being terrified together counts. I love you. Just don’t go into debt buying every test in Walgreens.” She kissed him back and pushed the covers back so she could go put the kettle on. She wished nausea would stop sloshing around in her stomach. That might mean all this was just in her head. She just wasn’t sure if she really did want it all to be in her there. The last two disasters when she fell pregnant, one she terminated and one she so desperately wanted to get right, Kyan wasn’t her partner in crime. Since they started dating, he made her feel like they could literally take on the world together and win. He was the person who made her stop thinking that she didn’t deserve to meet her soul mate.
Kyan was even more lost at the pharmacy than he thought. There was literally a wall of pregnancy test options, ironically close to the wall of condoms. They had made the joint decision for him to stop using condoms when they got engaged. Reecy had the implant thing. Once she told him she didn’t think she wanted to go through another pregnancy but they did want kids, adoption wasn’t a difficult choice. But life had this weird and surreal way of being unpredictable, even when you were sure you were on an even keel.
In the end, he piled one of every test into his basket. The better looking ones, he picked two of each. Until a customer service lady came up and asked him if he needed help, giving him a knowing smile and congratulated him on his success with Dirty Dancing. Which, of course, immediately triggered an absolute panic in him. But she must have anticipated that too because she winked at him and told him he had her confidentiality and she really could help out if he needed it. He gratefully accepted it with a sigh of relief and all she said to him was, ‘Remember, she has to pee on all these. When have you ever peed that much?’ He was pretty sure that was the best advice he could have gotten.
He came away with five. All seemed to do the same thing, just in a different way. He liked the idea of the little digital screens, figuring they must be more accurate or something. Really, he was mansplaining all this to himself via an inner monologue and actually had no effing clue what he was doing. Mostly, it was just controlled panic and overthinking about what was supposed to happen when they got the results - positive or negative. Because it was opening a dialogue between them that they hadn’t needed or wanted before.
On the way home, he took a quick detour to the candy store where he was conscious he was still in his workout gear and hadn’t even showered. He tried to avoid getting too close to anyone in case he smelled. He was pretty sure if he had a BO problem his wife would have clued him in, but he was always the sort to play it on the safe side. He bought a big bag of Reecy’s favourite candy and two pints of her favourite Ben & Jerry’s (Triple Caramel Chunk, she was a caramel girl through and through). He was battling with his key in the front door lock when it hit him how ironic this predicament was hitting right when both their exes returned to New York after extended absences. He felt a little like he was the starring act in a sitcom. He only got it unlocked when he realised he had been trying to open it with the garage key.
“Reec, baby?” Kyan called out when he finally got the door open and came in lugging the bags. He dumped everything on the kitchen counter and raked through the bags to find all the tests he got. And things went downhill from there. Reecy didn’t answer him, which was weird. Even in the shower, she would have heard him. The bathroom shared a wall with the hallway. He had no idea how he kept his shit together as well as he did when he found her passed out on the bathroom floor with blood dripped across the tiles. Everything after that was a weird blur of panic.
“I’m so sorry I scared you, gorgeous. I feel so fucking stupid,” Reecy murmured where she was now sitting propped up in bed amongst a mound of pillows while Kyan was so carefully tending to a cut on her forehead.
Kyan paused in dabbing Reecy’s nasty looking cut with some antiseptic on a cotton ball and gave her an incredulous look. “Hey, why are you apologising, baby? You passed out and hit your head. I’d freak out if you had a paper cut that drew blood. I love you, that’s my job. I was literally two seconds away from calling 911 when you came-to. And just for the record, I’m still freaked that you passed out but I know you don’t want me to call your dad because of… the thing. Possible thing. I’ve never known you to pass out, not even when you’re drunk.”
On top of the nausea, Reecy now had a headache but Kyan was being so gentle and tender with her, she was barely feeling the sting when the antiseptic hit the cut. “Except… when I’m pregnant,” she revealed and gave him a sheepish look, scrunching up her face. “I was anemic both times and got borderline hyperemesis with the first and the full-blown bitch when I had the twins pregnancy. I couldn’t eat when I had morning sickness. Plus, I think I might be dehydrated. Or I’m just overthinking absolutely everything because it all feels like a sign of… the thing. I need to take the test. At least one of them.” She pushed the covers aside to get up.
“Whoa, whoa, hey! No. No, you have to take it easy or you’ll pass out again.” Kyan stopped her before she could get off the bed. But he knew his wife and she was a champion at being headstrong and stubborn. Even if he thought it was best she stay in bed and rest, at least until she wasn’t woozy anymore, she wouldn’t. He heaved a long-suffering sigh, giving her a knowing smile before he scooped her up into his arms carefully. “I realise I’m distinctly risking being vomited on here. It could finally be payback for my terrible faux pas in Colorado.” He carried her to the bathroom where he had dropped the bag of tests as soon as he saw she was out cold on the tiles.
Reecy smiled, despite feeling pretty rotten. She was madly in love with how beautiful he was and how he had that nurturing TLC thing down like a pro. It came naturally to him and she loved reciprocating. Even through these recent days where they were both feeling sick, she still wanted to take care of him. Which is how she realised whatever she had might be different to what Kyan was suffering with. He was taken down hard and quick, but recovered in a couple days. A couple of days more lately, she was still in this mess. “Just because I love you so much and happen to really love this tank top on you, I’ll try my best to aim away if that happens.”
Kyan felt like she was extremely breakable and took great care placing her down to sit on the closed toilet. He scooped up a handful of test boxes from where they were still strewn on the floor and handed them to her. “Okay! I’ll, um, wait in the kitchen? Just down the hall. Call me if you need anything or if you feel dizzy again and I’ll be right here. Do you need, like, a glass of water or the tap on to help you go or something? I don’t want you moving too much.”
“Ky, babe, you’re my husband. Just wait while I pee. We’ve been married long enough to buck modesty.” Reecy quickly analysed the boxes and picked the one that looked like it would do a good job (Clearblue, digital), tearing it open. She handed Kyan the empty box and the instructions, then quickly got to doing what she had to do with the stick.
Kyan looked away, still feeling shy about invading her privacy, even if it was by invitation. “Is this a thing couples usually do? I mean, I know guys pee in front of each other but… okay, I’m sorry. I’m nervous. I’ll shut up.” He shook out the instructions, trying to concentrate on reading them. Concentrating was impossible. He busied himself with picking up the rest of the tests and shoving them back into the pharmacy bag.
Reecy smirked and finished up, setting the test stick on the edge of the vanity on a strip of toilet paper. She got up slowly to flush the toilet “Set your timer for three minutes, honeybunch. And yes, couples pee in front of each other, gorgeous. You’re just more shy than, well, probably most guys ever. Which I find adorable but I have absolutely no shame peeing in front of my husband or my husband peeing in front of me, by the way.” She washed her hands, fighting the urge to grab the stick and watch that damn hourglass until it flashed back a result.
Kyan set his phone and put it down beside the test stick. He moved over to the closed toilet and sat down, pulling Reecy into his lap. He cuddled her close and nuzzled her neck. “You realise that once this is done, no matter what the result, I’m taking you back to bed to rest. I’ll call Caden and tell him you’re still not well. I’m worried about you. I was freaking out that you slipped and put yourself in a coma or something. I just… shit…”
“I know.” Reecy put her head on his shoulder, her arms wrapped around his waist. “I’m sorry. I thought we had this marriage thing all worked out. Now this. Now you have to see me pee,” she added, joking to try to lighten the mood a little.
Kyan laughed, closing his eyes and shaking his head. “Oh, the tragedy. Does this mean you’re going to want me to reciprocate. Tit for tat? You realise I have extensive performance anxiety? Whenever I can get away with using a stall in the men’s room, I do. Urinals come with a whole lot of issues I’d rather not deal with.”
Reecy was laughing too, about to banter back but the timer started to buzz, signalling the time on the test was up. She made a little squeak of surprise, pressing her fingers to her lips. “Oh my god, I can’t look. Can you look? I can’t do it! Whatever it says, we’re going to be okay, right? We can figure it out somehow?”
“We can look together, okay? All of this, we’re together. Of course we’re going to be okay.” Kyan reached over and picked up the test stick but before he looked, he he gave Reecy a gentle smile and kissed her forehead, then her lips. “I won’t even ask if you’re ready, I know you’re not. We look on three?”
Reecy inhaled quickly, biting her lip. She swallowed around a lump of anxiety and nodded. “Okay, three. One… two… three…” She watched as Kyan turned the stick over and held it up so they could both see what the reading on the little digitala screen was.
Pregnant
3+ weeks
Kyan blinked, not sure his eyes were working properly. “Oh, shit,” he gasped. “Oh my god. Okay, um… are you okay, baby? Is this… I, um… holy hell. Y-You’re really pregnant?”
Reecy nodded, tears welling up in her eyes. She laughed through them. “It looks like it. And I… I think I might be okay with it. Are you okay? Is this okay? Are we okay?” Her voice was shaky as she got hit with a whole pile of emotions at once. She felt strangely exhilarated with it, but the nausea was still there. She was sure if she didn’t hear how Kyan felt about this in the next few moment, she might end up puking again if the shock set in. “Say something?”
“Shit, I’m over the moon!” Kyan admitted with a grin, the words coming out in a rushed whisper when his own emotions choked him up. He wrapped her in another protective hug and gave her an excited kiss, placing his hand gently over her stomach. It was yet another moment in his life it was going to hit him that his mom wasn’t there and wouldn’t be there to meet her grandchild, if that was where all this lead. He welled up too. “Oh my god, I can’t believe you’re pregnant. Are you really okay with it? I know you were scared and you didn’t want this. We can talk about it. We should talk about it…”
Reecy shook her head and softly put her fingers to his lips, hushin him before he got too worked up and panicked. “We’re going to have a baby. And I’m terrified and freaking out it’s all going to go wrong again but this time, I have you. I’m not doing it alone. We’re pregnant,” she corrected with a shaky laugh. She spotted his tears and wiped them from his cheek with her thumb. “I have the best baby daddy in the world. We’ll figure it out, right? I just… I don’t want to tell anyone yet. I mean, beyond an OB/GYN to get checked out and figure out what the hell I’m supposed to be doing now. Can we wait? Maybe just until we get over the point I miscarried last time. I’m scared to get my hopes up.”
Kyan nodded, stroking her hair. “We can wait as long as you need. Whatever it takes, I’m here. I’m going to take care of you… of both of you… I promise. Anything you need, I want to help. But first, you need to be in bed.” He lifted her into his arms again and couldn’t resist giving her another kiss. “I can’t believe this is happening.”
“I hope that’s not an innocent taking me to bed because now it makes sense why I’ve been so horny these past couple of week.” Reecy grinned, her nose scrunching up. “I mean, it’s scientific fact you can sleep better after an orgasm. Just saying…”
Kyan took her back to bed, shaking his head fondly. “How about I meet you halfway on that arrangement? Halfway… down,” he added for emphasis as he placed her on the bed and started to untie the sash on her robe.
Reecy’s intake of breath was sharp with anticipation when he moved to settle between her legs. Her fingers reflexively went to thread through his hair. Arousal shot through her, possibly more intense with apparent pregnancy hormones rushing through her. “Baby, this is an arrangement I’ll never have any objections to…”
LOG, COMPLETE