dreamlikenewyork | "Exes and ohs..."

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"Exes and ohs..."

Who: Reecy Chester-Wilson and Jude Willis
What: Faces from the past
Where: Mount Sinai Hospital
When: Friday

Reecy had just spent a bit of time visiting Justin, at least until he had fallen asleep in the middle of their conversation. Luckily, as his honorary big sister, she was used to that with him so she knew it had nothing to do with her conversation skills. He looked better than when she last saw him when she drove him up for his appointment at Four Winds and he was agitated and stressed to the point he had jumped out of his skin when she put her hand on his arm right before he lost his shit at her. She knew that had nothing to do with her either and she was so relieved to see how well the ketamine was working. It was the quickest she had seen him recover from a mood flare-up in a long time. He was almost back to his normal self, save for now being covered in a rash and sleepy. She adored catching up with him, especially hearing that the cards had been put on the table for the possibility of him touring. It was incredible for a kid who, just a couple of months before, was restrained to a hospital bed on a closed ward on suicide watch after relapsing with Ice use.

She stepped out of the elevator shooting Kyan a text to make sure he had woken up for his doctor's appointment with her dad. He had a wardrobe malfunction on stage the night before and pulled a groin muscle in the last act. Not that anyone knew that because the show must go on and all that. The way he came off stage after curtain call, Reecy thought he'd been stabbed or something. Needless to say, there was no sex last night but he did earn the uncomfortable reward of an icepack near the dick in December after they got home. Trey was going to drive him to the appointment and Reecy was just reassuring her hubby again that she was pretty sure you couldn't actually sprain a dick even if he was getting sympathetic muscle pain in the general area around it. Boys and their penises.

That was the thought in her head when she suddenly stopped short in the hospital foyer, mouth dropping open. For a moment, she was sure she had been seeing things, but she still double-backed to make sure. She hadn't been seeing things. "Jude!" she gasped, both at seeing him and seeing how well he looked. Like, hipster-level well. He made hipster look good. She was going to quit life if he told her he had turned Vegan and was living on smashed avo, though. "Holy shit. I didn't know you were back. Uh... I didn't even know where you were, to be honest. Shit, um... how are you? You look well." She didn't know if she should offer an awkward hug but instead, pushed her sunglasses up onto her head instead of onto her face where they had been poised as she hit send on her text to Kyan.

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The way Jude tripped over his over foot when he saw Reecy said a lot for how much he was expecting to see her there. Being, not at all. He hadn't let himself think about the chances of running into her. He had only been back in the country a couple of days and he spent most of those sleeping off jetlag in a basking in the fact he didn't need to sleep covered in insect repellent sweating his asshole off. His plan was to just take each day as it came. He had kind of rocked up on Billy's doorstep and asked if a room was still on offer. He had been supposed to move in with Billy and Ajay again before all the shit hit the fan that led him following Evan on the Doctors Without Borders adventure. It never eventuated. When Evan left with a family emergency, Jude was still stuck in the program. His last email from Billy, his little brother said he had big news but he refused to reveal it via email. That was enough for Jude to feel more than ready to come home. Thankfully, Billy and Ajay were glad to give him a place to live (their Upper East Side place was pretty much a mansion, a wedding present from Ajay's dad). He still didn't know Billy's news, though.

Seeing Reecy was harder than he expected. But at the same time, it was also amazing because she looked incredible. He felt his cheeks heat up when he tripped but he righted himself quickly, clearing his throat. "R-Reecy. Hey, oh wow. This is, um... fancy seeing you here." Stupidest thing ever to say. He smiled hesitantly, glancing around. "What are you doing here? Are you okay? You're not sick, are you?" She didn't look sick. She looked far from sick. But when she pushed her sunglasses up onto her head, his eyes caught sight of an extremely impressive rock on her left ring finger and... a wedding ring? Oh, shit.

Reecy tucked her hair behind her ear and pointed over her shoulder with her thumb. "Oh, I was just visiting Smooshie. He's on the better end of a bad run. Luckily on Eleven West this time. They're hitting him with daily ketamine infusions. They trialled him with it after his last psych admission and he responded really well. He was... we nearly lost him again." It was her turn to clear her throat. She didn't exactly feel a raging awkwardness, just deep uncertainty about how she was supposed to feel. Not confusion. She was very much over him. By the end, they had been so bad together and it needed to be over. So much in her life had changed since she last saw him. That was the overwhelming part. She knew Billy only had very infrequent contact with Jude but he never said where his big brother had gone, let alone anything else. She pinged his suspenders softly, shooting him a smile. "Look at you, rocking the hipster look. You actually make it work, you know. What about you? You're not sick, are you? What are you doing here? At the hospital, back in New York..." Her phone buzzed with a text. "Sorry, I just need to..." She quickly took her phone out again and was glad Kyan was up and waiting for Trey to pick him up.

"No, I'm just here to visit Evan and submit my employment papers. I was lucky they can put me back on. I'm starting a rotation in the ER next week. I'm sorry about Jus. Damn. I didn't know. Actually, I should just be honest, I don't know much of anything. I've been back in the country all of forty-eight hours and I was dead to the world with jetlag for most of them." Jude laughed and looked down at his skinny jeans and suspenders. "These? Yeah. I've kind of done a whole lot of soul-searching and discovery me lately. Turns out the inner me isn't as much of a brooding emo kid as I thought I was. Did you want to, uh, grab a coffee? I totally get it if you have somewhere else you need to be though," he quickly added, pointing to her phone in her hand. Was it her husband? Did she even have a husband? He was pretty sure she at least had a fiance. Or a fiancee. Reecy was bi, so there was that. He didn't think girls just wore diamond rings that big on their finger just to make a fashion statement. Reecy was a hella massive fashion icon and had been since she worked on Footloose, so maybe? Suddenly, he had no confidence in absolutely anything in this world and wished he grilled Billy for some more deets in general.

"I only just heard he was back and has malaria, the poor darling. With Jace so poorly too. He was doing so well in Vermont when we were up there with them a couple of days before the bad seizures hit. The ER, huh? So, you're back for good? I'm going to honest, I don't even know where you went. No one really knew and Billy was tight-lipped. He said he didn't know much himself, so I didn't push. Things were weird for awhile. I think he thought maybe our friendship would be affected we were no longer in that... family dynamic." Reecy hesitated over that. For a little while, she was sure she and Jude might get married one day but it wasn't meant to be. Ultimately, just too much against them. She quickly tapped in a reply to Kyan reminded him to tell her dad everything, including how much pain he was in and not try to deal with it valiantly like Superman. "Sure. I'd love to. Sorry, just making sure the other half follows orders. Lead the way. The look suits you. You look bright and healthy." She smiled and tucked her phone back in her bag.

Jude nodded as he fell into step beside her. There were some great coffee shops nearby so they wouldn't have to go far. "Yeah, he actually got worse and starting vomiting blood. They diagnosed him with Crohn's and he's been in a pretty big surgery to get rid of some of the diseased tissue. I was just up to see how he went but he wasn't out of surgery yet. His family are understandably stressed but they all seem relieved to have him home. It's tough being so far away from home. Which I can actually vouch for first-hand because that's where I was. After I only just scraped graduating college, I figured I may as well help people some way while figuring out what the fuck I was doing with my life. It was all very sobering and humbling. I was at the same base as Ev, so it was nice to have a mate there. I hope you put him right. I would never have wanted anything to change with you and Billy because of my screw-ups." As they walked, he contemplated if he should ask about the other-half she was talking about. "So, I, um... just noticed your rings. Engaged? I really have no clue. Other than keeping B updated that I was alive, I haven't been in touch with anyone. I needed to break away and take stock of myself. I really didn't like myself when I left, or like what I'd become."

Reecy put her fingers up to her mouth with a gasp. "Oh my god, like Ajay? The poor thing! I had no idea. This must have just happened? Damn, he won't take that well. He hates being the patient. I'll have to shoot Jesse a text later to see if they need a hand with anything. Wow, I totally can't believe you were in Africa with Doctors Without Borders. I knew you graduated. B told me that. I was kind of worried what happened with us might've gotten in your way of graduating and I was glad to hear it didn't. I know how hard you worked and you had a load off when Ajay's dad paid off your students. You were made to be a nurse. So, I guess it helped, huh? The sobering and humbling with the soul-searching. You shouldn't have to beat yourself up for the rest of your life over mistakes you made for a period of your life. You're not a bad guy, Jude. You were just a bad guy for me," she joked with a little laugh. She looked at her hand, feeling momentarily flustered but only because she was still that goof who loved seeing her these special rings on her finger. It was just starkly obvious that he didn't know about her and Kyan. "Married, actually. Things kind of took a path I never expected and, well... I'm Mrs Reecy Chester-Wilson now. Kyan and I got married. He swept me off my feet," she said with a little shrug.

"Yeah, unfortunately. Ajay's currently in remission, though. That's the plus side of it, it can go into remission and be asymptomatic for awhile. Ev's only just had the surgery today. After he was puking blood, they had to act fast. I spoke to Jesse and he said it all went well, though." Jude stopped talking and went quiet when the shock of what she just revealed hit him. He never would have picked this being a thing but now she said it, he knew deep down in his gut that Kyan was a perfect match for her. Kind of a Yin and Yang scenario. Now he had a bit of a closer look, he could see her wedding band was generous with diamonds too. Fate delivered her exactly what she deserved, which was everything he didn't know how to give. "Wow. Congratulations. I have been so out of the loop. He was still engaged to Autumn when I left. Life's a curious thing, huh? I'm so happy for you, Ree. Kyan's an incredible guy and I know he'll take the best care of you. How did that all happen? Catch me up a bit! Africa was... um. There's some things I should probably tell you, to give you clarity and closure on how we ended. I was in a really bad place back then."

Reecy pointed at him as they walked out into the sun. "Yes, see, I know that. Because I have a Stylist now, who happens to be Ajay. Which mostly means him letting me tap into my inner fag hag talents while he puts me in gorgeous dresses that make my ass look incredible," she joked. She wanted to keep it light because there was no need for this to be weird and awkward. All she ever wanted from him was honesty. Hopefully, now all the complicated dating shit was in the past, they could get to know each other properly. "Poor Ev. He's going to despise being sick. It's a pretty big deal you both went to Doctors Without Borders together. What, were you hooking up or something? How did that all come about? I mean, I'm not saying it wouldn't be something you would've chosen on your own... okay, I kind of am but only because Billy was just over cancer. I'm just trying to figure out what could have happened that had you wanting to take that drastic action. Do you want to go here? I love their coffee," she said, gesturing to the organic cafe that hadn't taken the concept too far like some places.

Jude smiled listening to Reecy's trademark sassy banter. He cleared his throat when she mentioned her ass. He didn't need to be reminded how amazing it was, he knew first hand. But her ass belonged in someone else's hands now. Namely, Kyan's. Who put a ring on it. And the hard part for Jude was he really adored Kyan. He was a great guy. perfect, even. Everything Jude wasn't. He couldn't hate him, even if that was the urge because you were supposed to hate your ex's new perfect partners. "Well, considering Ajay turned Justin into a gay fashion icon, literally a coverboy, I'm sure he put you right up there in the awesome stakes." He nodded and held the door open for her to enter the coffee shop. It wasn't soo busy and they found a little corner table where they could chat. He went up to the counter and ordered for them. Once he was back, he rested his arms on the table, trying to pluck up the courage to open up to her. Months and months too late, granted. He lowered his voice, making sure no one around them could hear. "Well, besides the fact I never dealt with my baby brother facing death and losing a ball because of it? I knew I had to be the big brother, but it fucked with my head. And I, um... I started using. A lot. That's why I was useless when you had the miscarriage. When you broke up with me - and this is in no way saying you contributed to the mess, you didn't - I just hit the booze and drugs harder. So hard that I got roofied at a gay club and raped. By the cunt who was sexually harassing Justin in the early Footloose days. Clint fucked him up. Lured him to a hotel room and framed him for raping him. That's when he got thrown in prison. You probably remember. It's what led to his lover stabbing Lincoln in revenge. After that, I knew if I didn't get away and stop harming everyone I loved, I was going to do myself in."

Reecy put her hands up to her face but she had no idea what she was doing. She put her fingers to her mouth because there were no words to come out of it. She didn't know what she had been expecting him to say. Though, that was probably the thing. She hadn't been expecting anything. She was open to hearing any explanation he might have had to offer even a tiny bit of closure, to close the book on that part of her life. Just days before, Kyan had managed to do the same with Autumn. This was totally unexpected. She really hadn't expected to see Jude ever again. Or maybe in passing occasionally at the holidays if he ever came home. She took in a deep breath because her stomach just twisted up into this weird nauseated knot. When she started to tear up, she squeezed her eyes shut and stopped herself before she asked any dumb questions like 'Why didn't you talk to me?'. Because that's not how addiction or mental illness worked. People in the grips of them didn't have the ability to just have a chat with someone and get better. She reached over the table and took his hand between hers and nodded, swallowing back the lump of emotion in her throat. "I'm so sorry that you went through all that and couldn't tell me about it. And I'm not going to do anything stupid like wonder if things would be different. I think we were already not the best match for awhile. Did you get help? I-I, um... I figure you did because you look really healthy and it sounds like you valued your time with Doctors. I wish I realised something was going on. I was just so messed up after the miscarriage."

Jude nodded, wetting his lips. "I did, yeah. A lot of back then is hazy for me. The bad part about going through a trauma like this is it mutes the good parts and amplifies the painful parts. I understand on some level what Justin faces and what Ajay's been through. I'm relieved I don't actually remember it happening. But I remember him hitting on me at the bar and when I woke up the morning after, I was covered in bruises and scratches. He fucked me without a condom. But I was too scared to report the rape or go get a rape kit. I was so fucking ashamed. I know I did everything wrong. I had the worst three months of my life with a HIV scare, waiting for the test results. But I was clear. That's why Clint did what he did. The guy was a serial rapist. Clint set him up and got his DNA and it checked out against a case in Philadelphia. They think he was furious Justin got him kicked off the show and rejected him. That me being a link to you. I don't know. The bottom line is, if I wasn't on drugs, I probably wouldn't have been out trawling gay nightclubs, and it wouldn't have happened. But I went away to rehab and had a fuckton of therapy. I finished college. I have used since, nor will I ever. That's not me anymore. I'm comfortable with who I am and I'm really happy to be home. It was time. I don't want to make excuses for how much I hurt you. I own that. And I'm really happy you and Kyan found each other, that he makes you happy."

"I... um... do you know everything that happened with Clint and Renz after all that stuff?" Reecy was struggled to get her mind to focus with all this new information churning around in it. She wanted to go to Kyan for a big hug. Just because she and Jude were no longer romantically involved, she still loved him as she did the rest of her family and friends. She would always care about him. She hoped they could strike up a friendship now he was back because she was extremely close to Billy and Ajay. "There's a slew of people in this world who turn to poor choices to drown out pain. Just because it contributed to ending out relationship doesn't negate that you're just as susceptible. But, fuck, sweetheart... you know me. I'm not going to hold any grudges. I've forgiven you, I've moved on and it was a very organic and natural progression for me. Kyan and I were there for each other when we hit our own rock bottoms. You belong here with your family, near Billy and Ajay. They need you and I know you need them. You need all your friends. Just because you kicked it doesn't eradicate that you were an addict. Your trauma isn't any less trauma because you can't remember it. And I want you to know, if you need any help - any at all - I'm here. Life's a bit nuts right now, Justin's just... well, I'll let Billy fill you in on that. But no one is going to hold your past mistakes against you. So, Renz might be a bit pissed, but after the initial bitchiness, he'll come around. Wait until you see Holly, it'll blow your mind. She's a mini Renz."

Jude shook his head, puffing his cheeks out with a held breath that he soon let out in a rush. "No, but I know something major went down. Billy wouldn't tell me by email. I was in the thick of things overseas. We were posted to a pretty intense place and the work was hard. I guess the only way to deal with homesickness is to try not to think too much of home. I'm wired different to Evan. He needed to stay in touch with his family so he could be sure Jace was okay. That's part of his psyche. For me, thinking about everything I left at home unfinished or unresolved, knowing the hurt I caused, it made me really, really homesickness, which made me feel like a failure. So, I just threw myself into the work and took a day at a time. There was a therapist over there and I spent a lot of time with them working through things. It got easier, little by little. I think a lot of it was grief over Billy's cancer and trying to be things I wasn't. And I don't think I was ready to move on with us when I had no clue who I really was. After the assault, I had no idea who I was supposed to be anymore." He laughed and nodded, nudging the salt and pepper shakers to the side of the table with his fingers. "I expect Renz to be bitchy. He knows I was raped but he doesn't know the mess I got into after it. I'm a bit nervous to hear what it was that's gone down between him and Clitty. Do you want to give me a clue?"

There were a few moments when the waitress brought their orders over and Reecy had the chance to gather her thoughts. Considering what they were talking about, she knew they would both need that. Jude had some serious balls here opening up to her about all this knowing she was married to someone else now. This wasn't about any attempt to reignite what they used to have. He just wanted to finally be honest with her and she didn't have enough words how much she respected him for that. "Okay, so here's the thing. I don't think they need anyone to keep this from you as some sort of big surprise because everyone knows. It's been common knowledge for awhile now, once they both got used to it. So, I'm just going to put it out there so you can go in and just talk about the important things with them. Clint and Renz aren't cousins. They're brothers. Twins, actually. It sounds like some sort of fucked up movie plot but their father was a murderous cunt. Not to mention a violent abuser and a rapist. Family secrets came out, Clint discovered things. Their father killed their grandfather and Clint remembers witnessing it. Apparently Clint was a sick baby and their mom sent him to be raised by the grandmother so he was safe, and passed him off as Lorenzo's cousin. They can give you the details, but... crazy, huh? They even have that freaky twin sense. I think everyone will be glad to have you back and know you've healed. Billy's going to adore having you back."

Jude's mouth dropped open and he failed to get any words out. Even when he tried to find a response, he still couldn't find words. His brain clicked into overdrive trying to figure out how the hell that was even a thing. Clint and Renz were born the same year, but had birthdays in different months... right? Sure, they looked alike. Okay, they looked very similar. He knew Lorenzo's father was a rapist (see Richie as proof, who also had the same features as Clint and Renz), and now a murderer? "H-Holy fucking hell..." He pushed his hat off and scraped his fingers through his hair. A nervous, confused laugh escaping him but he wasn't amused. Just completely stunned. "Are... u-um... are they okay? Shit, I really need to see them. I shot Renz a text but he said both Hols and Lew weren't feeling well, which is fine. I get people's lives more than continued without me. I need to edge my way back into the mix. He said Clint was undercover somewhere with Lex. So fucking awesome she's in remission."

Reecy laughed too because now they could. At the time, not so much. Clint revealed an epic fuckton of shit when it was all going down and she was pretty sure they didn't even know the half of it. Clint had that way about him, where people just knew he knew more about the world than he would ever let on and had probably done many more that could never be proven. Clint didn't just have skeletons in his closet, he had a whole fucking graveyard, but that's what made his huge rough and raw heart even more special. He would literally die for the people he loved. "They're great now. After the initial shock and adjustment, they went back to normal. Perhaps just closer. The initial shock wasn't even about the fact they were twins so much as how much time they lost knowing it. Once it was out there, it seemed obvious. Oh, you wouldn't have met the gorgeous little button, Zephyr, yet, will you? You think Hols has the Chevalier looks, you wait until you see him. He's Clint all over. He's a tiny wee thing but thriving after the initial complications. You want my advice, hon? Don't wait for him to set up a time. Just go over there. He might push back if he's feeling bitchy and not sure how to feel about you being back. Just go over and face it. You know Renz has always done better when you kept it real with him. Prove to him you still can. With how much his life changed, I don't think he'll hold anything against you. And Holly's your goddaughter, you should see her."

"No, not yet. Which kills me because the fact Clitty had a baby and I wasn't here to witness the moment he became a dad? I know that's never a moment to recreate. As much as I adore bubs and would have loved to have run over there to get my share of cuddles, I want to see Renz and Hols first. I owe them that. Renz knows why I had to go, on some level. He doesn't know I hit hard drugs. I couldn't face him with it after all he went through with Mara. I was so fucking ashamed and I still am. That doesn't take away the fact I missed out on so much here because of my shit mistakes. But... hang on... complications? With Zephyr? What happened? Is he okay? He Ange?" Jude shook his head, his mind ticking back to the very brief and bog-standard emails from Billy every few weeks, no more than a few lines. His standard response was he could catch up on everything when he got back and he would tell him if anyone died. In a lot of ways, Jude coped better being away from home not knowing much and it gave him the chance to heal. He nodded and smiled at her across the table. "You're right. But you always usually were when it came to this stuff. I wish I listened to your wisdom more, I wouldn't have ended up in so much crap. You really think he won't be pissed if I rock up there when Hols and Lew aren't well?"

Reecy laughed again, nodding as she stirred a little sachet of stevia into her latte. "Yes, Clint had a baby. Just don't couch it like that when you talk to him or you might get a punch in the dick. Ange had a baby, she shares parenting with Clint, Linc, and Lexie. And it really works for them. Way more than anyone probably anticipated and Clint is an incredible dad, believe it or not. Once he got used to the fact it was real, that is. At first, he was kind of only sperm in name only. You're going to adore Zeph. He's this tiny little ball of adorable. Angela had a ruptured placenta and she nearly bled to death. They had to deliver him a couple of months early and we nearly lost them both. So, he's small for his age, but he's got Chevalier genes, so he's tough. Happy little thing, laughs a lot." She unfolded her napkin and put it in her lap. "Jude, don't keep beating yourself up. You'll get forward much more smoothly if you just be present in the moment, remember to communicate, feel what you need to feel, and take each day. Honestly, that's all any of us can do. That's why, no, I don't think he'll be pissed. I think he'll be happy to see you."

"I just can't imagine it, you know? A little person out there that Clitty made. It's almost scary. That they could even convince him to be a worthy participant. I remember when he got back from overseas undercover and met Hols for the first time, it was like she was radioactive or something. He didn't even wanna hold her. But I know if he and Lorenzo are twins, and Renz makes babies as gorgeous as Hols, there's no doubt the family genes will have spilled over into Clitty's gene pool." Jude would be lying if he didn't admit he was excited to see Clint in action as a dad and catch up with Lorenzo. They were like brothers one upon a time. He hoped Renz had enough energy in his heart to be able to forgive him for the fuck ups. "I just want to get settled back home and be near my family. Maybe have another shot at love myself eventually. I learned from my mistakes, I swear to god. I gotta say, you make it look real good. What was your wedding like? Totally not conventional, I bet, if I know anything about you. Then again, Kyan's about as good old-fashioned lover boy as they come. I swear, that's totally a compliment. He has to clue some of the rest of us dudes in on his secrets."

"You wait until you meet him. You'll be even more speechless. He's this tiny little thing with huge blue eyes and he just smiles and giggles a lot. He's so bright and happy. But he has four parents who adore him and a live-in uncle on hand to uncle the hell out of him. And even more uncles who don't live there wanting their turns. The Chevalier gene pool is exceptionally talented. But I knew that from the days I used to hook up with Clint." Reecy smirked at that, even if it was literally a lifetime ago. Once upon a time, she was all about only casual sex and Clint was the most talented at that, equal first with Flynn. But she had discovered now married sex trumped all of that and then some, because Kyan was the ninja sexpert in the sack. His shyness and introversion be damned. Their wedding night had been out of this world. "That's because it is real good, amazing even, when you find the right person. It just clicks, you don't have to overthink it or question it. We sort of eloped in a sense. We were in Australia for Mark and Gen's wedding. We flew down to Sydney to stay for a few days afterwards. We decided to just do it. Mark and Justin pulled strings with Aussie connections. We had a private cruise on Sydney Harbour at twilight. Dad and Sawyer were there, so was Fin and Shannon. Justin and Sash. Winnie and Romeo. Trey and Brendan. Couldn't have been more perfect. Very much not conventional but still traditional enough for what Kyan wanted. Emotional because his mom couldn't be there. I think sometimes opposites are a perfect match."

Jude was grinning, remembering again how much he missed everyone being away. "I can't believe how much everyone has evolved. I feel like I've stepped into a different dimension. In a good way, though. Clitty seems like the glitch in the matrix, though. I'd be almost scared to see him but I know even with all this morphing around him, he probably hasn't changed at all. He'd probably rather shoot himself in the dick than change. But Renz was always like his opposite, you know. He balanced him. Other than Linc, he was really the only one who ever did." He sat back, resting his hands behind his head. "Eloped. I knew you wouldn't have done the white wedding thing. Or whatever the hell it was Autumn was trying to plan with him. It was like she forget Kyan was even involved in the equation. It sounds like you got the rock chick fairytale you deserve, love. Seriously, I'm happy for you both. There's no better guy I could have hoped you moved on with. He ticks all the boxes. I'd ask if he doesn't happen to have a gay twin, but I know he has and he's taken too. Damnit," he laughed.

Reecy smiled at Jude over the top of her mug. "But hasn't Clitty always been a glitch in basically every matrix out there? If he was predictable, that would defeat his entire purpose. I think he's pretty fond of his purpose. Wait until you see him with Zephyr. It'll blow your mind. None of what has happened has changed him. I guess that says a lot about how firmly set he is in being true to himself. He's the truest person I know. Life has this completely surreal way of morphing around us and changing everything. Which is good, because if it's going bad, you know you just have to weather it. It won't last forever." She shook her head, laughing, and swept her hair from her face when it fell into her eyes. "I wasn't sure I'd ever do the wedding thing, let alone the white wedding thing. Autumn just fell into that dangerous showbiz trap of fame and hero-worship. She lost sight of her old goal posts. Oh, honey, Trey would probably eat you alive. He's totally not your type. I think you need someone who can fulfil everything you're searching for, and you do the same for them. The thing about me and us, I don't think I was ever searching. I think we did the best we could, we just weren't compatible."

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"Exes and ohs..."

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