[ FACEBOOK ] Group Chat - Squad

[theateroflove]

Anyone have any idea how Justin's going? Cas and I were chatting about him at work, and no one really had any updates. I tried texting Sash, but I didn't get a reply.

Comments

[beautifulday]

Sorry, dude. I'm sick. Jus is holding up okay, all things considered. He got some tough news which might set him back, but he's in the right place.

[ifeelthelove]

Tough news?

[theateroflove]

Shit, I didn't know you were sick :( Didn't mean to bother you, buddy.

[beautifulday]

Um, yeah. There's a lot going on. You're all our friends and I trust you, so I should know that Jus and I are both being treated for possible HIV exposure.

[genderfailure]

Dude, fuck.

[theateroflove]

Holy shit. What happened? If you're up to talking about it. You don't have to, Sash. All this has got to be seriously hard for you.

[ifeelthelove]

Oh my god. Is this why he was so suicidal?

[beautifulday]

No, but self-harm is the reason for it. There was only a small chance he might've been exposed, but they still had to take precautions. Because he was psychotic and dissociated when he took the Ice, they can't be sure he didn't use a contaminated needle or cut with a contaminated blade. He doesn't remember anything of the period he was psychotic. None of our hangout, none of getting or taking the drugs.

[ifeelthelove]

But why are they treating you too?

[genderfailure]

Sash, did you...?

[theateroflove]

Oh, shit.

[ifeelthelove]

What? What am I missing? You did drugs with him after all?

[beautifulday]

I had sex with him when he was psychotic that night. I hoped it might help ground him, but I regret it. Not because of what's happened, but because it felt like sleeping with a stranger and it didn't help at all. And before anyone asks, no we don't always wrap. Haven't since we got engaged. I didn't think about anything like this. I feel stupid now, but it is what it is.

[ifeelthelove]

Aw, Sash. You're not stupid. You just love him. Considering you're ace-spec, that had to have been a huge thing for you to do. Is that the bad news? They think he contracted it?

[theateroflove]

I probably would've done the same. Don't regret it, Sash. You love him. Love is tough.

[genderfailure]

Sash, it's gonna kick you harder because you're demi. Sex for you isn't right unless you have the beyond deep emotional connection, which wouldn't be there if he was psychotic. But don't beat yourself up for it. You were probably desperate to help him in any way.

[beautifulday]

He was still high too, he hadn't come down. All of this was because his biological mom was trying to contact him from prison. Now news just came that she died a couple of days ago, and he's revealed more about his childhood. Much more horrific stuff than we already knew. It's been a horrible time in general, but he's doing okay. He's getting all the help he needs.

[ifeelthelove]

Fuck, how could it have even been worse.

[musthavebeenlove]

Fuck, she died? Good. I hope she burns in hell.

[friendsforever]

Shit. How did she die? Tell me someone choked her on her own insides.

[beautifulday]

It's probably not anything he'll ever talk about much again. It's that traumatic for him. And really, you guys don't need all the details anyway. Just keep loving him, it's the best thing you can do. She bled to death. That's all I really know. Sam said it would've been a painful death, so fucking good. But none of it can make up for how much she hurt him. She's gone, though. She can't hurt him anymore.

[playingtowin]

You got to see him? Last we spoke, he wasn't wanting visitors.

[friendsforever]

Can we send him flowers? Or would that be too overwhelming? Did you see all the messages online for him after the Tonys? So many people love him and are showing him support. It's beautiful.

[ifeelthelove]

He loved getting flowers last time he was in. The rooms are pretty miserable. Brings a little brightness, you know?

[beautifulday]

He'd love flowers. It's just like he has SO much in his head that's not filtering or processing properly right now, he's struggling with having people around him. I've seen him and I'm hoping to get back today if I can move more than three feet from a bathroom. I haven't seen the messages, but Caden said a load more mail has come to the theatre for him. But after what happened, Ari's going to screen it all more closely before we pass anything on. There's a lot of things that could trigger him.