"He ain't heavy, he's my brother."

[multiplelove]

Who: Brett Jennings and Zoran Jennings
What: Heart-to-Heart
Where: Jennings home, Dobbs Ferry
When: Very early hours, Saturday morning

It was about two am and Brett was up to use the bathroom. His college break had started so he was staying with his parents until New Year, something he was grateful for with everything going on with Zoran. Brett just wasn't coping with it. None of this was anything he could joke his way through to get by, and it was tearing him up inside. He had been tossing and turning all night. Richie had found him and they were going to get a drink together, but Brett didn't want to get drunk and hungover while Zoran was going through hell having to bury his father.

Over and over, all Brett could think of was how he would feel if it was his own dad's funeral, and he had harassed himself all night thinking about how much incredible pain Zoran was, but Brett hadn't been able to reach out to him because Zoran wasn't coping with so much help. He needed to be alone. Brett understood that. He did. But it wasn't easy.

He had shared a bathroom with Zoran ever since the first night he came to them, up until they both left home. He got up to get a drink of water when sleep just wasn't coming and just as he was approaching the bathroom, Zoran came out of it, flicking the light off. Brett hesitated, because this emotional stuff was hard. Then, with his eyes teary, he just stepped up and put his arms around Zoran, hugging him. "I love you, man," he told him hoarsely.

Comments

[zedblaze]

"Be however you need to be. I know it's fucking awful and I know it's fucking hard. It's the hardest thing I've ever had to live through and how can any of you know how to handle it if I have no clue myself?" Zoran reasoned while he rubbed his hand over his face. "I'll be okay, I guess. Eventually. Not right now. Hurts too much..."

The thought of eating or drinking anything right now wasn't appealing to him at all. "No. Listen, can we talk for a bit? I don't want anyone to think I don't want them near me. I do. I want you all to understand what you can, and we haven't really talked much. I know it's got to be freaking you out. I just don't know if I'll ever be able to truly put into words what my life's bee like," he admitted.

[multiplelove]

It had to take some epic fucking hardass balls for Zoran to take the high ground like this. For a few lingering moments, Brett just looked at his brother, still in crippling pain inside for him, but also awed that he was even still here. Zoran had admitted in front of all those people at the funeral that he had nearly fucking drove a car off a cliff because he was so distressed, but once again put his dad before him. Brett had so many questions, but a lot of them he didn't need answers to. Maybe over time as Zoran began to heal and keep living his life, the answers would come to light.

He nodded. "Sure, Z. Do you want to come chill in my room? At least them Mom and Dad won't smack me in the head for not taking better care of you. It has freaked me out, but not in a way that I can't handle your shit, bro. Just... I'm fucking hurting for you. All I wanted to do was help you, but I can't. Can't ease it or take it away. I had no idea your past was this fucking painful. I knew you had pain and you had been abused, but not like this."