The moan from Zed had Caleb tensing, almost as if he were afraid that he was hurting him. But it was followed by the tension releasing a little from Zed’s body, setting in a sense of calm for Caleb, too. When he was settled, Caleb felt more settled, too, and he shifted so that he could rest his chin on top of Zed’s head. The warmth of the room settled in around them, serving to soak into their bones after the cold from sitting outside together, and Caleb found himself thinking he’d rather be here than anywhere else in the world, no matter how fucking awful the circumstances might be. If Zoran was Positive, they’d face that together. It mattered… He’d never be so naïve as to say it didn’t. But it didn’t change his feelings for him… it didn’t make him want to leave. It didn’t take away the love that he felt deep inside him. All that it did was make him that much more determined not to walk away again. Zoran needed people he could love and rely on… people who weren’t going to hurt him more than he’d already been hurt, impossible though it might have seemed. And this time, Caleb was bound and determined to be one of the people who was solid and committed to him, loving him every step of the way.
“Why did you wait?” Caleb asked softly. He wasn’t accusing or angry. His words were tender and concerned. It was more a matter of wondering what had been going through Zed’s mind when he learned that he’d been exposed in the first place. “I mean, if you knew you’d been exposed, and that PEP was the best chance you had not to be infected…” He trailed off. He didn’t want Zoran to feel that he was judging him, because he wasn’t. He was just terrified for him. Sure, HIV wasn’t the death sentence that it used to be, but it was still a serious illness that would chance Zed’s life forever, and Caleb wanted so much better for him than that. “Will Riley be the doctor who treats you if the tests come back Positive?” he asked, hoping he wasn’t overwhelming Zoran with the questions. “I thought he was an ER doctor. Then again, there’s a hell of a lot of doctors, and you guys seem to know most of them, so I may just be getting people confused.” He shrugged, shifting a little so that he could press a gentle kiss to the top of Zoran’s head. Whatever they found out on the tests, they’d deal with it together if Zoran would let him. He wasn’t backing down from that. Not now or ever.
no subject
“Why did you wait?” Caleb asked softly. He wasn’t accusing or angry. His words were tender and concerned. It was more a matter of wondering what had been going through Zed’s mind when he learned that he’d been exposed in the first place. “I mean, if you knew you’d been exposed, and that PEP was the best chance you had not to be infected…” He trailed off. He didn’t want Zoran to feel that he was judging him, because he wasn’t. He was just terrified for him. Sure, HIV wasn’t the death sentence that it used to be, but it was still a serious illness that would chance Zed’s life forever, and Caleb wanted so much better for him than that. “Will Riley be the doctor who treats you if the tests come back Positive?” he asked, hoping he wasn’t overwhelming Zoran with the questions. “I thought he was an ER doctor. Then again, there’s a hell of a lot of doctors, and you guys seem to know most of them, so I may just be getting people confused.” He shrugged, shifting a little so that he could press a gentle kiss to the top of Zoran’s head. Whatever they found out on the tests, they’d deal with it together if Zoran would let him. He wasn’t backing down from that. Not now or ever.