Zed shook his head, but didn't scramble for any words. Words weren't needed. He said what he was feeling and there was no need to flog the dead horse. He had taken on board everything Riley had said to him, even read between the lines to hear more than the doctor couldn't directly say without applying personal opinion. He couldn't even finish his cigarette. His stomach was upset and squashing himself out on that balcony was making the achiness worse. He was about halfway done with it, but stubbed it out in the ash tray anyway. "I really need to go to bed. Just feeling like hell, and I don't think it's doing me any good trying to fight it." He knew that his family would be over frequently to check on him. He knew his mom and dad would come to spend some time here doing some basic cleaning, checking to see if he needed laundry done, or essentials at the grocery store. They would make sure he had clean underwear, and fresh sheets so she could be warm. But they wouldn't step into the personal boundaries he always needed to maintain. They respected that he was an adult now and they would let him call the shots. But they were still family, and would do the family things that normal, loving and caring family did.
He also needed a bit of a breather in Caleb's constant stream of reassurances. Sometimes, you could only take so much of that sort of stuff. He still needed more than words with any of this. More than words, and time. He didn't know what to say in response to a lot of it when he couldn't believe it on face-value. He got up and went back inside. He switched a lamp on because it could be a dark interior if the weather got gloomy like it had been threatening earlier with a few spots of rain. In his bedroom, he looked through his drawers one-handed to see if he could find something warm and comfortable to go to bed in. He was cold, he was engulfed with this feeling that he wanted to be warm and curled up in a protective nest to try to wrap his head more around all the changes that were coming at him hard and fast. Too hard, too fast, but he couldn't slow any of it down. He made an error trying to do that, he fucked up. He didn't really want to die. He didn't want to cause anyone pain by doing that. He just wanted it to stop, he didn't see a way he could ever stop running. Soon, he located a Batman onesie that his family got for him two Christmases ago. That would do. In fact, it might be exactly what he needed. If ever there was a perfect time for a onesie, it was when you were feeling crappy and miserable, right?
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He also needed a bit of a breather in Caleb's constant stream of reassurances. Sometimes, you could only take so much of that sort of stuff. He still needed more than words with any of this. More than words, and time. He didn't know what to say in response to a lot of it when he couldn't believe it on face-value. He got up and went back inside. He switched a lamp on because it could be a dark interior if the weather got gloomy like it had been threatening earlier with a few spots of rain. In his bedroom, he looked through his drawers one-handed to see if he could find something warm and comfortable to go to bed in. He was cold, he was engulfed with this feeling that he wanted to be warm and curled up in a protective nest to try to wrap his head more around all the changes that were coming at him hard and fast. Too hard, too fast, but he couldn't slow any of it down. He made an error trying to do that, he fucked up. He didn't really want to die. He didn't want to cause anyone pain by doing that. He just wanted it to stop, he didn't see a way he could ever stop running. Soon, he located a Batman onesie that his family got for him two Christmases ago. That would do. In fact, it might be exactly what he needed. If ever there was a perfect time for a onesie, it was when you were feeling crappy and miserable, right?