Zed had wanted to see if it still felt the same as it had done all those years ago. Another thing Richie had told him was not to make half-choices. He hadn't been sure what that meant, so he asked. Richie told him not life choice should be an uninformed one. That fear and pain was only one perspective of his life, and it was drowning out love's opinion. Talking right into the early hours of the morning after Richie had worked a long shift already, he still managed to come out with so many wise words. "I still need time," Zed was soon saying, but his hands were resting on Caleb's arms. He wasn't cutting off the contact. "I'm still fucked up. I'm still confused and in pain. I just need to take it one thing at a time. I need it to go slow or I won't keep up with anything. I've started to talk to my family, and that's going to take time too. Hang on, I need to sit down..."

He was hit by a wave of dizziness, which his doctor had told him could happen. He wasn't going to get out of hospital and feel well with the flick of a switch. He was still on PEP, and he had promised he would keep that up and call for help if he started to feel overwhelmed again. He was advised to go home to bed, but he hadn't wanted to be alone. There were people he could have called, but didn't want them sitting around babysitting him. Jax and Luke's offer was timely and he had been taking it easy. It also gave him a little something to focus on than just his issues and trying to pick up the pieces he had shattered all around him from a suicide attempt. He moved over to the closet seat and sat heavily. There was a moment or two where he felt like he was going to be sick, so he draped his arm over the table of the booth and rested his head down on it. "Sorry. It should pass," he said softly.