dreamlikenewyork | "It's getting better."

Entry tags:

"It's getting better."

Who: Richie Jameson, Karla Jameson, Lorenzo Chevalier (and later, Clint Chevalier)
What: That moment when awkward doesn't quite cut it
Where: Lorenzo and Lewis' home
When: Thursday

Richie was nervous about this whole introducing his mom to Lorenzo thing. There was a lot of heartache leading up to this for obvious reasons... and for all of them. For different reasons. He didn't think he would be nervous, but he was. Lorenzo had told him to get in touch when he was feeling better and up to it, and they could fit a time in around stuff. He would make time if he had to. Which really made Richie feel awesome, because for so long, he had convinced himself his brother was either 1) a deadbeat like his dad (and he felt terrible for that grossly incorrect assumption), or 2) wouldn't want a thing to do with him because he was made when his dad raped Richie's mom. It was an awful situation, but Lorenzo was an amazing enough guy to see past that and wanted a relationship with Richie.

It had taken Richie a few days after getting home from overseas to be near functioning to be out in public. He had slept a hell of a lot, but it was okay because he had been staying at Adrian's place. In the process of that, he and Adrian got to spend more time together. With Richie not feeling nauseated or puking anymore, it was a lot of lying around and snuggling or being spooned while he slept, and he was pretty sure that aided his recovery this time around. Adrian had a pile of business to see to now, and that included a meeting with Callum, that Richie helped orchestrate. Ethan and Callum had been through a lot, and Richie was happy to help them have something nice, and Adrian had been more than open to considering Callum for a job.

Now Richie was on Lorenzo's doorstep with Karla and ringing the bell. It wasn't a dive of an apartment block. Lorenzo explained on their first meeting that he had moved into Lewis' home and Lewis was quite well-off from the work he had done. Turns out Lewis had also worked with Adrian, which Richie thought was one of the coolest things ever. He liked the whole secondary connection thing going on. It allayed his nerves a little. On the cab ride over, Richie had been Skyping with Adrian while he had a lunch break. There was no doubt about the fact Richie was more than smitten with his boyfriend and he wanted Lorenzo to meet Adrian as well as his mom sometime soon too.

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"Life's full of shitty circumstances," Karla replied warmly. "It doesn't mean that we're not allowed to enjoy the beautiful people that come into our lives as a result of them. Richie is the epitome of that in my life. The most beautiful thing to ever come of a terrible thing for me." She couldn't help the hint of a humorless laugh at Lorenzo's soothing daddy tone paired with the words that, though painful, couldn't have been more true and accurate in its description of what they probably all thought about the biological father of the two young men. He was dead, and there was never going to be a "rest his soul" sentiment from any of them. They were all glad the fucker was dead and in the ground and not hurting anyone else. Karla had actually lived in fear that he would resurface one day and demand a relationship with Richie. She'd heard of rapists doing that very thing, and it had terrified her. So when the news finally came that the bastard was dead, Karla had heaved a sigh of relief, grateful as all hell that he would never show up again, try to find her, or try to take her son from her.

Like Richie, Karla was caught by surprise at the mention that Holly, Richie, and Lorenzo's eyes weren't the bastard cunt's eyes. She had seen them so clearly in that bathroom all those years ago, and it had taken a long time for her to begin to see and accept them as Richie's eyes instead of as her rapists'. And now Lorenzo was saying that they were someone else's all together. "Your... Your grandmother?" she asked softly, one eyebrow raising inquisitively. "But I thought..." She shook her head. "I always thought they were... They were his." She followed the young men into Lorenzo's place and gave Lorenzo a small smile. "I'll just have ice water, if you don't mind," she said. "Thank you."

Lorenzo had been in the kitchen getting a soda for Richie, a bottle of chilled water for Karla, and a bottle of apple juice for Holly. He didn't bother with anything for himself. He brought the drinks through and handed them out, taking a seat next to Richie so he could give Holly a drink. She was usually fine with juice, it was just feeds she struggled with when they upset her tummy. Of course, she might be too busy trying to pull Richie's nose off his face to bother with something basic like having a drink. Richie had her sitting in his lap facing him and she was looking at him with a complete look of awe on her face, like he was more exciting than Santa Claus. Though, Lorenzo wasn't sure how she would actually go with Santa this first year she was aware of things around her because she was absolutely terrified of anything with a beard. They ran into Kyle down town when he had his beard thing happening one day and she nearly screamed the whole of Macy's down. Luckily Kyle was a good sport and said that it was the reaction his husband probably wanted to have over it too.

"His...?" he said in confusion at first before the penny dropped what Karla was saying. He shook his head. "Oh, no. My father had, like, pale hazel eyes. He was half Creole, see. My grandfather was Creole and all this is from his wife, my grandmother," he explained, pointing to his face and waving his finger around in a little circle. That didn't mean either of them were going to just take his word for it if it was a thing. He realised as he was explaining that Karla had obviously see his father's face when the attacked happened and that just made him feel nauseated. "My Granmomma was amazing, though she passed away when I was about eight or nine. She had a stroke and a heart attack. She was French. Blue-eyed, brunette. Very dark hair. She was a fashion designer. Designed wedding gowns. She came over here to start a new life and married my grandfather quite young. They had two children. My dad and a daughter, my aunt, Angelle. Ultimately, after my grandmother passed away, my grandfather died of a broken heart less than a month later. They never knew what a cunt my father was. She looked like Vivien Leigh when she was younger. Which is why this one's middle name is Scarlett." He gave Holly's chin a little stroke beneath and then got up to get an old family photo album from the bookcase. He flicked through it and found a page with pictures of his grandmother when she was a young woman and handed it to Karla to see.

Edited 2015-10-10 15:37 (UTC)

It was as plain as day to Richie how amazing a father Lorenzo was. Holly was content, she was clean, dressed neatly, bright-eyed, and she accepted her bottle when Lorenzo was offering it. All she did was just wrap her little mouth around it and start drinking whilst still looking up at Richie's face with those huge blue eyes. She was quite little for her age, but Lorenzo explained that there had been growth issues because Holly's mother used on and off throughout the pregnancy. She was healthy, but probably always small. Though, when he saw Richie, he made a comment that maybe it was somewhere in the genes. Richie knew he was a bit of a short-ass and he looked young. He would happily be in that same boat with his baby niece.

He listened to what Lorenzo was saying, following along and making sure he didn't miss any links. It felt weird to know he had family (in the genetic sense) that existed which he knew little of. It was also extremely surreal to hear he got his eyes off a grandmother he never knew, and would never know because she had passed away years ago. Not that he felt any sort of hole in his life. That had never been the case. He had a mom, and he had grandparents. That was all he ever needed. He never yearned for any paternal family connection, because as far as he was concerned, there wasn't one. There hadn't been one until he learned Lorenzo existed and then had struggled to let it all go. Still, even then, it took a very long time for him to pluck up the courage to take this step. Now he was learning all these things. He couldn't actually see what Lorenzo was showing his mom from where he was sitting, but he still raised his head up to try to look. He was a ~~nosey~~ curious person. Always had been. As a kid, he would be into anything and one of those kids who could move like Greased Lightning if he wasn't watched closely. Despite the fact he was nodding, he was soon coming out with, "So, who's Scarlett then?" Talk about epic little-brother-of-a-Southerner-fail.

Edited 2015-10-10 16:11 (UTC)

It had absolutely stopped Karla in her tracks when Lorenzo said they were his grandmother's eyes, and even more so when he said that his father's eyes hadn't been blue at all. Why did she have such a vivid memory of her attacker and his incredibly blue eyes? She had questioned herself on it a little... on her memories of what happened... but when Richie had come into the world with stunning blue eyes that never changed to her own brown ones, she'd been sure that she remembered correctly. Maybe it had been the lighting, or maybe the fear had twisted her memories, but she'd been so fucking sure. It was pretty obvious that she was wrong, though. Lorenzo would know what color his father's eyes were, and he'd know where he and Holly had gotten their blue eyes from, too. It was overwhelmingly emotional for her to hear that Richie's blue eyes had come from a good, kind woman whom Lorenzo had truly adored, and when Lorenzo was handing her the photo album to show her his grandmother, she couldn't hold back the tears. Over two decades worth of pain were beginning to melt away, because there in the album were the eyes that she saw in her baby boy's face. They were this beautiful woman's eyes, not the eyes of a cruel bastard, and Karla wasn't falling to pieces here, but her cheeks were wet with tears just the same.

"She was beautiful, Lorenzo," she finally said, when she got her wits about her to speak. "You three all got your eyes from her without a doubt. I always thought they were his, because the blue eyes in my family are few and far between at best. I would've had to have a recessive gene for them somewhere, but my Richie got them. They're hers without a doubt, though," she said, shaking her head in disbelief as she shifted in her seat, moving to hand the photo album to Richie... though she stopped short when he asked who Scarlett was. "Did you seriously just... Who's Scarlett? Jesus Christ, I've failed you as a mother. Utterly failed you."

Lorenzo went and got some tissues from the bookcase. There were always tissues or wipes on hand with a baby in the house. "My mom and my best friend were raped. I was... um... something like that. I know what it's like. I understand all those sorts of things, and all the continual flowing shitstorm that follows. I know how much it messes with your head. I know you never forget. I know that it can take years before you even know how to compartmentalise sex and rape as different entities. I know trauma. My husband was kidnapped, held hostage in a basement, tortured and nearly murdered. I watched my dad beat and assault my mom. I tried to intercept, so he started beating me. Holly's mother schizophrenic and she could quite often get violent. Holly is here because she forced herself on me and wouldn't let me wrap. She never remembered to consistently take birth control, and thought a coil was a doctor trying to plant spy devices inside her, so no one could touch her. When she gave birth, she thought the doctors were trying to kidnap the baby for some governmental conspiracy. The woman who walked in front of a bus and killed herself at the end of last year in Manhattan? That was Holly's mother. Right in front of me and Holly. I just want to lay all these cards on the table. There's no lack of understanding here whatsoever."

All of this was hard to just put out there, but he knew he had to. He knew it was only fair. He couldn't expect Karla and Richie to come in here and try to breach some sort of gap because of genetics and think he had no true respect for what they had dealt with or the level of pain that came attached to it. He didn't believe that just because Karla was raped twenty-something years ago that she should just be better now and free of the memories or scars. She didn't think there should be any need for anyone to try to palm off natural reactive emotions so there were no eggshells and no one felt awkward. After everything he had been through, cards on the table was the only way he knew how to face this himself. His father had raped Karla. It was incredibly hard for him to learn and process too. "She was the Princess Leia of her time," he soon said with a smirk and despite the heavy weight of the subjects they were trying to work through, he couldn't help but smile when Holly started to giggle uncontrollably at Richie. She had this real little baby giggle that was infectious.

It was surreal that there was this innocent little adorable baby giggling happening in amongst all this horror Lorenzo was laying on the table. It showed that Holly was, of course, completely immune to the terror and pain of it, and he knew Lorenzo would shield her from that as much as he could, if not completely. She was only about nine months old, so way too young to understand anything being said. Richie was just glad she was comfortable with him and seemed happy to be held by him. He knew kids and babies from work, he knew how to interact with them, and Holly seemed to adore him. That made his whole year. He was basking in being an uncle and having this opportunity while she was still so young to be a part of her life. He was still patting her little back and rocking her gently while she giggled at him, but he had put his fingers up to his lips, just completely speechless at what he was hearing Lorenzo say. Lorenzo had hinted at some of it, and elaborated on other parts. To hear it all like this, it was hard, and it hurt. But at the same time, it was nice Lorenzo was opening up here... he was reaching out to his mom, and that meant the world to him.

He didn't say anything at this point. He was at a loss for words, and he knew this was a junction his mom needed to process all this too. Lorenzo understood, and he didn't want shit to be weird because of how all this came about. Lorenzo was just as much a collateral victim of rape as he was. "S-So... you mean, Holly's kind of like me in a sense? Sort of? I mean, in a way. I know you stood by her and understood she was sick. You mentioned that, but is this... this is why you didn't lose your shit and completely just turn me away? Not that I think you would. You're not a cunt. Just... it's because you get it."

Karla took the tissues Lorenzo offered and wiped the tears away from her face. The stories he was sharing were heartbreaking, and there was something comforting, if painful, in the bond of shared experiences. Karla would never in a million years wish what had happened to her on anyone... not even her worst enemy. And the knowledge of what Lorenzo had gone through was heartbreaking. When she'd wiped her eyes, she stood up from where she was sitting and walked over to Lorenzo, putting her arms around him in a momly hug. She just couldn't help it. She looked into his eyes, and saw Richie, and the thought of Richie suffering the pain that Lorenzo had been through broke her in a way that she couldn't even imagine. She hugged Lorenzo close to her despite the good eight inches of height he had on her. If not for the heavy emotion of the moment, it might have been comical how much height difference there was between Lorenzo and Richie, but Karla wasn't laughing right now. Pulling back out of the hug, she gave his arms a gentle squeeze. "For what it's worth, honey, you're Richie's brother, and you always have family with us as far as I'm concerned. I'm not your mother, and I know that, but I'm here for you and Holly. I want you to know that."

Little Holly was giggling in Uncle Richie's lap, and though this moment was intensely emotional for all of them, Karla couldn't help her own smile at the tiny girl. "You must bring your daddies so much joy, little one," she said to her, giving Lorenzo's hand a squeeze before she went over to kiss Richie on top of the head. "Your Uncle Richie is a lot like you in that," she said, gently tapping the end of Holly's nose with her finger tip. "He brought happy to me when I was sad, too." She shook her head and looked up at Lorenzo. "Thank you for meeting us and letting us meet your daughter, too. If there's one thing I know, its that, when you've seen the worst parts of the world, it's hard to let anyone new into your kid's life for any reason. It means the world to me that you're giving me and Richie a chance."

Clint had a key to Lorenzo's place... though after today, he probably wouldn't anymore. He always had, in case Lorenzo needed urgent help with Mara, and it had continued as a thing when Lewis got kidnapped. It was just a safety precaution, but Clint being Clint, he was never one to follow the rules. Besides, he had, sort of, run a security check with Lorenzo to make sure he and Lewis didn't like a bit of a fuck on the kitchen counter or the sofa whenever it took their fancy. But he knew that right now Lewis was out-of-action, so Clint took it upon himself to drop in on his cousin... as one does. He opened the door with his key. "Renz? Dude, you will not believe the orgy Linc and I just got back from. I have never seen so much giant dick in my life. Nearly made the missus gag when I gave her all the gory details..."

By that point, he had arrived in the living area, only to discover Lorenzo had company. And Lorenzo was giving him one of the most impeccable Death Stares to ever exist in the history of the universe. He had the decency to pause in his cock journey reporting with a, "Oh, hey." It took all of two seconds, maybe less, for him to realise the guy sitting holding the rugrat was basically a mini carbon copy of Lorenzo. Of course, Clint laughed. "Oh my god, you've legit got a Mini Me!"

"Cli-- nt!" Lorenzo hissed, with quite obvious hesitation where he stopped himself snapping at his cousin using his favoured nickname. He was pretty sure that wouldn't be an appropriate thing to say in front of Richie's mother. And even though he didn't actually verbalise it, you could fill in the gap of 'For fuck's sake!' after the exclamation. Clint was notorious for his shit timing, so he wasn't at all surprised, nor was he surprised about the subject matter. Clint was a no-holds-barred kind of guy. He had no filter, and didn't give a fuck if anyone thought he should have one either. Neither he nor Lewis minded that Clint had a key. They had a baby in the house, so they hadn't at all gotten into the habit of just randomly screwing around the apartment, even when Lewis had been perfectly fine. It was pretty much confined to the bedroom or the bathroom, and there had maybe been a few times out on the balcony but they had been clothed for that. "Can you just keep your friggen voice down? Lewis is sick, he's sleeping. Can you make a vain attempt at a bit of a filter while we have guests?" he added pointedly.

He just rolled his eyes and gave a shake of his head. "Clint, this is my brother, Richie, and his mom, Karla. Richie, Karla, this is Clint. My cousin. My dickhead father's sister, Angelle, is Clint's mom." He pointed to Clint's face by way of more evidence. "Same eyes. Just this time, connected to a pain in the ass manwhore. This is probably the part that where I should explain that Clint has absolutely no filter, no shame, and is married to a lesbian, and dating her brother. Despite all that, he's family and the closest thing to a brother I've had before now. He's loud and irritating, but I love him and he's always had my back. Clint's a PI, and he recently framed the rapist who raped my best friend and also a sixteen year old kid. You probably know about Justin. He's kind of like a, uh... knight in shining ass-less chaps and cockrings."

Before Richie could stop himself, he was snickering through a snort of amusement. He couldn't help it if he was a typical boy. But at the Mini Me comment, he was looking at Lorenzo, at his height, and realising it was 100% accurate and he couldn't deny it. He was a short-ass. He had been basically his whole life. He looked like he had never made it beyond puberty, and his nickname at the hospital was Dougie Howser. Holly was still giggling at him, and Richie's attention was drawn back to her and he tickled her little belly. She was really attentive and bright. She was watching him, making eye contact and responding to him. Even if she was little, she was adorable and clearly thriving. There was nothing wrong with being little. Maybe Richie would finally have a short-ass sidekick while everyone else towered over him by inches (in height - he always had to clarify the inches were in height).

But this was his cousin? He knew there was a cousin. Lorenzo had filled him in on some details over the time and said he had a cousin here in New York who was an ex-cop turned Private Investigator. And yep, the same eyes. No doubt about it. In fact, he was looking from Clint's eyes, to Lorenzo's, to Holly's. It was all there as plain as day. He gave Clint a wave. "Hey. Um, nice night for an orgy then? Wait, you what? You framed Justin's rapist? How the hell...?" he trailed off with a stunned blink, looking at his mom to see how she felt about this. But he also got up and stepped over to give Holly to her for a cuddle. She knew his mom loved babies and Holly was a real cuddlebug. If all this was going to be a family thing, Holly was a big part of that... albeit the tiniest part.

A part of Karla was a little shocked by the new person in the apartment, coming through with the announcement about orgies and giant cocks and his wife, but once Lorenzo had explained a little, she couldn't really be surprised. Boys would be boys, that was for absolute certain. "I really hope you used condoms," she said, unable to hold back the loud mom voice inside her. She saw it all the time... People with risky sexual behaviors ending up in deep shit because they didn't take care of themselves. It only took a moment, though, before she was smiling again as Richie deposited the warm bundle that was Holly in her arms, and she pulled her in close for a snuggle. "Hi, precious girl," she murmured into her hair. "Your Uncle Richie and I are so excited to have you in our lives. Yes we are! You're such a tiny little thing. I bet you'll be small like Uncle Richie," she said with a teasing wink in her son's direction.

"Hey," she said with a shrug. "I have a gay son, and while I don't think he's been in any orgies, I'm aware that it's a thing that happens. I'm a doctor. I see all kinds of interesting things in my job. All I care about is that the people who are part of my life are safe as much as they can be. Other than that, live how you see fit. I don't judge." She paused, her face quite like Richie's with the stunned WTFness. "How the hell did you frame a rapist? I mean, if he's a rapist and he's in jail for it, good on you, but... I don't understand how you managed to do that."

"Nah, I only like barebacking," was coming out of Clint's mouth. It was true, he had no filter, and he was also a sarcastic bastard with a dry sense of humour. He knew how quickly Lorenzo could go from long-suffering to full bitch-mode, so he held up his hands in surrender before he ended up with his cock slammed in a door. "Sorry, sorry. What are you glaring at me for anyway, Renzie? You're the one with Hep C, not me." Seeing as this was a huge expose all the things ever sesh going down here. This was weird for him. Every single thing since he had come back from his year deep undercover was weird, and he hadn't dealt with it all very well. For one, Lorenzo nearly completely pulled the plug on their relationship, related or not, when Clint struggled to come to terms with the fact he had a baby, and didn't know anything about babies. Clint was pretty sure he was getting better with all that, but he still had a long way to go. Then Jude went and got raped, he and Lincoln hooked up, Lewis got kidnapped and then they got hitched. Now Ange was pregnant with the baby of a gay dude. There was no other choice but to go with the flow.

He dropped into one of the free armchairs, making himself at home. "Whatever is said here can't go beyond these four walls. The trial is pending, and a kid's mental health and life depends on it being a success. He's one fucked up kid and none of us want him taking his life on our conscience for a fuck-up. I know people. I had some help in high places. I lured the cunt to a hotel room, told him I liked it rough and to do his worst. Before he did, I drugged him and planted shit on him. When he passed out, an ex-crim who owed a mate a favour came in and beat the shit out of me to make it look authentic. The cops were called, I was taken in for a rape kit and yeah... no, he wasn't Positive. I made sure someone else pulled some strings for me to check his path before I did it. There's one thing I fucking can't stand, it's rape, and hurting kids. This cunt did both, and hurt people I love. I wasn't just going to sit there and watch the case fail on technicalities like slut-shaming Jude or finger-pointing a mentally ill kid for being deluded and paranoid to poke holes in their testimony. So I removed the onus from Jude and Justin, and put it on me. Unlike them, I know how to work a jury."

Lorenzo had sat back down too and his head dropped against the back of the chair with a sigh. "Not from unprotected sex, dickhead." He looked at Karla because he had to clarify now. "Not from unprotected sex. I tried to avoid that as much as I could. There were times I was in contact with a lot of Mara's blood for... she had suicide attempts, and when she was hit by the bus, it was... yeah, you get the idea. It could be worse. At least this is treatable and I should be back on track in around twelve months, give or take. It's not me I'm concerned about right now anyway, it's Lewis. I'm fine." He knew that Clint had to deal with a lot returning to a situation that was absolutely nothing like he had left it. Lorenzo did respect that, but it was harder to when Clint was being typical shithead and frustrating the fuck out of him. But that was their relationship. Through it all, they were still really close, they were just very different and always had been.

He had closed his eyes through hearing this again, massaging the corners of them with the tips of his fingers. He still didn't know how he really felt about all this inside. It had hit him hard to hear about it, and he kind of lost his shit over it when Clint revealed it. But at the same time, he had gone to Louisiana and married Lewis, so they were all guilty of reckless abandonment on some level. It was a really fucked up situation, and he knew it must sound incredibly freakish in a nutshell like this. He opened his eyes again. "I'm sorry about all this. I know it sounds unbelievable on a lot of levels, but Clint's reckless. He has this weird gut feeling that's always right, and he's never been one to play on the safe side. He does a lot of shit we don't want to know about. It's just what he does. But this was to put a serial rapist away. Justin and Jude weren't the only ones. There was another dude in college years ago. Now it's come out that he was following Justin from the theatre one night. It's all a huge mess, but it just is what it is. I'll totally understand if neither of you want anything to do with it all."

This was definitely information overload. Richie had come to just be sitting and listening with his mouth hanging open slightly. Though, he was now looking at Lorenzo in concern. This was something Lorenzo hadn't revealed, but it didn't seem to be something he was ashamed of. It was just a bitch and he had to deal with it. It more seemed to be something he didn't feel necessary to add in amongst all the other stuff. Now, to look at his new brother through scrutinising doctor's eyes, Richie could see Lorenzo didn't look entirely well. There was nothing blindingly obvious, but he was quite pale in the face, dark circles under his eyes, and probably had a general and ongoing malaise. Beyond that, he seemed more concerned about his husband than himself. "Did you need someone to check Lewis over? We don't mind. I mean, I can do it, or Mom can. She's a GP. If it will give you some peace of mind..." The part about Mara's blood nearly had his stomach turning, and he, of course, wasn't squeamish about blood. It was the way the contact had occurred that was horrifying. It must have been horrific for Lorenzo to witness. "So, you... watch Mara kill herself, and then months down the track had those videos of Lewis chained up in a basement being harmed? How are you not in a mental health facility?"

He shook his head. "No, don't be sorry. We're not going to say anything. Actually, it's pretty damn amazing what you did, Clint. I can't believe you forcefully got yourself hurt to do that. I mean, were you okay? That had to be pretty disgusting to go through." He did know some of the details about Justin. Actually, one of Justin's recent admissions had been the week Richie started work at Mount Sinai, and he had been present for an assessment of him when he was still unconscious because Nate was his doctor. There was a recent history of psychosis, and a past history of sexual abuse. He knew how messed up Justin was. None of this changes anything. We can handle it. It's just complicated, and we're not averted to complicated."

The better part of twenty years ago, Karla had watched Richie nearly bleed to death, the logical mind of a young doctor not able to overtake the terrified mind of a young mother who was watching her baby bleed out. His physical health and well-being had hung all too delicately in the balance, and it had been the scariest thing she could remember. But now, there was that same familiar maternal pain, but this time, directed toward Lorenzo. She wasn't his mother. And perhaps it wasn't her place to worry for him the way she worried for Richie, but worry she did. He had no mother here to love and care for him or worry after him. Though he apparently had a beautiful husband who cared for him dearly, Karla still had this overwhelming need to be here for him since his mother couldn't be. She sort of just wanted to wrap him up in cotton wool, much as she had a much younger Richie after his diagnosis with hemophilia, and protect him. "Richie's right, Lorenzo. Either of us is more than happy to check on him for you, if both of you feel up to it. Unfortunately, medical ethics won't allow a sneak attack checkup, as much as I might wish they did sometimes." With that, she shot a pointed look in Richie's direction, remembering many times that Karla the doctor had to put Karla the mom in her place.

"What is said here stays here," Karla agreed. "Justin's Uncle Sam is a friend of mine, and I'd never do anything to jeopardize that poor kid. He's been through so much already, I think he's had quite enough. Richie's right, though. If we were in the habit of backing down from complicated, our lives would certainly be a hell of a lot different now. We're not going anywhere. Clint, you weren't here a moment ago, but I told Lorenzo, and this expands to you. You're my son's family, and as far as I'm concerned, that makes you my family, too. I don't have a list of snooty bullshit about how you have to behave to be allowed in my family. All I care about is that the people that I care about care back and aren't just takers... And it's pretty obvious that you guys have giving hearts when it comes to the people you love. At the end of the day, if you have a lot of ink, or a lot of sex, that doesn't change anything for me."

As hard a bastard as Clint could be, he had a definite soft side when he needed to. For all the banter and insults he and Lorenzo flung at each other, mostly out of affection, for most of their lives, Clint was always concerned and worried about Lorenzo. First the family violence, and then what he got into with Mara. Sure, she killed herself and succeeded in what she had been attempting since they hooked up, but it left Lorenzo in a bad place that could have really finally been the straw that broke his psychological back. Though, Lewis was a new factor, and Clint really adored the guy. He had been everything Renz deserved all along, and they were obviously deeply in love, despite the hardships. But when Lorenzo talked of Lewis, it was with such helpless lethargy. He wanted to take care of Lewis and protect him the way Lewis had for him, but he was obviously feeling like it was out of his grasp or he was failing on some level.

"Renz, it is what is is. Que sera sera. Life can be seriously fucking shit, but we're here. Whatever help you need while Lewis is sick, just let us know. And I know you're exhausted and like to get the shits with me because I'm the one who pisses you off the most, but shit happens and you know I've got thick skin. I'm not going to fuck things up on any level with you getting to know your new family. I'm over that whole feeling weird about new people coming in and trying to take my place," he added sheepishly. "That's not because I'm a selfish cunt. It's just because it was Renz and me for so long in a pretty shit environment that we always had each other's backs. At least, until I had to go deep undercover overseas for a year, and it was when all this shit happened and Renz still hasn't quite forgiven me for it..."

Lorenzo shook his head. "It's okay. Thanks, but I know what's wrong with him. He's just no so sure about it. It's withdrawal. Lewis is... how shall I say it... an alternative thinker. A deep thinker, and sees the world through a different spectrum to most. He blows my mind sometimes." At this, he looked over with a side-eyed glance at Clint, a mere silent warning not to make any puns about Lewis blowing more than his mind. "Which means, he had a very sturdy set of beliefs, and a valid background to support why he thinks the way he does. Long story short, after he was kidnapped and badly hurt... like, badly hurt, he did bounce back. It took a little while, but he seemed to just deal with it and didn't want to let it bring him down. Only, it was just like a band-aid over festering trauma beneath the surface. He ended up having trouble sleeping, leading to bad nightmares when he would finally crash that had flashbacks. He drove himself into exhaustion going back to work too soon and had a nervous breakdown. So, he was put on some medication to help him sleep, and anti-anxiety meds. He tried valium at first, but it made him very woozy and out of it, so they changed to Xanax XR. He's really smart, though. Did all the research, knows it's not good to stay on benzos long-term. He wants off them to try to adapt without meds, but he's gone cold turkey and I think that's what is making him sick. Usually if it's a bug, all three of us get it. He was vomiting when he woke up and had the sweats."

His nose crinkled a little, but he couldn't deny he was still a bit pissed at Clint. Only a bit, though, and it was more the fact it was a whole fucking year without any word. "Only because I was fucking worried you were dead, bitch. If you got yourself friggen killed undercover, no one would know to tell me, would they? So, if I'm still a bit pissed with you when I'm in my seventies, you'll just have to fucking wear it. I wish I could tell you why I'm not locked away in a mental unit somewhere. Some days, I feel like I should be. It's been a lot of crap and a lot of the time I haven't coped, but I had to keep going for Holly. She's my life, and my life is hers. You just sort of... do it when you're a parent. I don't even know how to explain it, you just keep going."

"I can see why he would want to do that because it's true, they're best not used long term unless you really need them. It's admirable he wants to give it a go, because many wouldn't. But you need to be careful he doesn't dehydrate. Just keep him drinking. If he can't keep water down, you'll need to get him to the hospital for IV fluids. Just give me a call, I'll be able to arrange something. I think the most important thing about someone trying to recover from trauma is to let them keep as much control over their decisions as they can. You'll know that, it's a little easier to cope if you have that control. If it doesn't work, it doesn't work. Try another strategy. Maybe a staggered reduction in dose rather than cold turkey, or don't go back to Xanax, try something a little less harsh on the system. Plus, there's always alternative remedies to try. Some people swear by meditation or herbal remedies, and there's some great naturopaths here in the City. Even things like massage or vitamin supplements can contribute. If Lewis things more peripheral to mainstream, he might be open to the ideas," Richie suggested, because he really did just want to help on some level. Plus, no doubt about it, Lorenzo would be worried about his husband no matter what it was. It might bring him a little peace of mind to know there were other options on the table to help Lewis if he didn't want the meds.

Then he was watching the exchange between Lorenzo and Clint in amusement. They really did seem like brothers on some level. They obviously cared about each other, even if there was mocking. Lorenzo seemed like such an open and honest person, and Clint clearly his polar opposite. He knew there was no doubt about the fact that his mom would be very much identifying with what Lorenzo was saying here, and as such, probably thinking she wanted to take him under her wing and be his adopted mom. She might try to accidentally mom Clint in the process, but Clint was probably the sort of smooth-talker who would just end up making her laugh rather than letting her win at that game. This new family thing really might just work.

"Clint's right," Karla agreed with her son's cousin, looking over at the same stunning set of blue eyes. "Life happens. No one is going to judge you for having an illness, Lorenzo. If anything, we're all going to want to be here to help you and support you while you fight it. And we're here for Lewis, too, even if we haven't met him yet. I do know a few naturopaths here in New York who are fantastic... A lot of people seem to have the idea that it's all silly, 'out-there' kind of stuff, but it really isn't. I know some very scientifically minded people who use natural means to treat illnesses and I've seen a lot of good results from their work. Not every person is the same, and Lewis sounds like the kind of person who could benefit from something a little different. Either way, whether you go that route, or different medication, or just wait out the withdrawals, we're all here to support you guys. I can go ahead and let you know that any time you need a babysitter for Holly, I volunteer my services happily. She's a beautiful sweet baby, and I know that you guys probably have hoards of babysitters on standby, but I would love to be one of the hoard if that's allowable." She gave Holly a sweet smile as the baby cooed at her and tried to put a handful of Karla's dark curls in her mouth.

"I can vouch for that parent thing like crazy," she agreed. "Their life is all that matters to you. It's everything. You spend your days worrying about them, thinking about them. Doing what's best for them, no matter what it is that you think might be fun. Richie's my world. Even now that he's an adult, I still want the best for him. Granted it's not my place to provide it for him anymore, but it still matters to me. I still give advice... sometimes totally unsolicited, but he's pretty good about not telling me to fuck off... So I get that part. Protecting her... Doing what's best for her? That will always be your priority. And then what's best for you and Lewis as a team will come next." That was one she had no experience with, but definitely got the concept of.

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

"It's getting better."

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