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Okay, well, here's the thing... you got home safely, so it's all good, right?

I don't drink. I can't drink. I'm on meds, I'm an ex addict. WTF is even anything?

I'm gonna barf.

I know. It was kind of like this... um. Well. The music was excellent. You sweet-talked the DJ into putting on a whole bunch of awesome shit, and we were all dancing and celebrating because it was an excellent press night. The show went really well, and we got a chance to hang out with the casts from Caden's other productions...

Okay, I'll wait until you're done. If you pass out in the toilet again, get your dad to call me. If he'll talk to me.

Again? Keep talking, bitch.

I can spew and Facebook. I'm clever like that. Fuck, I think I might be dying.

Edited 2015-01-07 09:34 (UTC)

Shit. Okay. We were all dancing... you're a really good club dancer, by the way. I have no idea where you learned it, but you were putting all us to shame. Anyway, you were sitting on Cokes because, you know, underage ex addict on meds. We didn't want Caden to murder us. He might still manage it, though. He's seriously pissed. The thing is, you had Cokes and Scott, Romeo, and Winnie were all on voddie and Cokes. When one of your favourite songs came on, you dragged us all out on the dancefloor and shoved me and Autumn in between you and Romeo so we would be forced to dance with/near him...

No dying. Because then we all die.

Yeah, well, your rivalry with Romeo is fucking stupid. Basic bitches.

I think that's a moot point now, considering Winnie is never going to talk to me again.

What the fuck happened? How did all of that end up with me hugging the toilet again?

You accidentally picked up the voddie and cokes instead of your virgin. You were dancing a lot, so you must have gotten thirsty and we were distracted because there was a lot of people around. We didn't realise it had happened until suddenly you were go-go dancing on a table top with your shirt off to Sonique's It Feels So Good. Your meds made you get really drunk, really quick. But I promise, all the videos people got of you, you looked totally fucking hot. Will's going to have a boner in a heartbeat.

And, um, Aut and me maybe thought for a minute that Romeo spiked your drinks to blame it on us...

Edited 2015-01-07 09:45 (UTC)

Oh my god. Oh my GOD. Hey! No one gets to talk about Will's boners but me! Quit it. That's NOT allowed!

I don't want to know what happened next. It's like hearing about a trainwreck happening.

Okay, okay. Sorry. Why are you so touchy about his boner all of a sudden?

Well, a trainwreck probably would have been less messy.

That's none of your fucking business.

Fucking hell. Please tell me you didn't punch Romeo.

Okay. Sorry, JC.

No, he blocked me. Bitch has lightning quick reflexes. But it did all kind of culminate into a massive bitchfight on the dancefloor. Like, EPIC. Winnie got so mad, he told Aut and me to go fuck ourselves and stormed out of the party with Romeo going after him. Then he defriended us both on Facebook. In the meantime, Scott was trying to get you down off the table, and the only way he managed was to get up on the table with you, and you started dirty dancing with him... which kind of got filmed on video too.

I hate you all so much right now. My dad is going to flip his shit.

He didn't. Caden did. I'm on my last warning, everyone else is on their first warnings. It all happened so quickly that it was kind of exactly like a trainwreck. Scott got you down somehow, and then you said you were going to puke so he took you to the bathroom. You passed out and Caden had already called your dad, so he came to pick you up. Billy had gone out the front with Brendan because Brendan wanted a smoke and I think he must have been chatting to Billy about Bryce. They were gone a little while and they both missed the whole thing.

Now, no more cast parties until further notice. We were just trying to protect you. We figured it would have been no one on the Footloose cast who spiked your drink because we all know what you've been through. Do you hate us?

No. I'm not angry. I figure Winnie finally ditching your ass is stinging enough.

I can't DRINK, okay? I can't. You all need to get how important that is. If I drink, I can get really sick. Not just hungover, but it fucks with my brain chemistry and that's when I do fucked up shit. Like dirty dancing with someone else's boyfriend when I have one of my own. Fuck. I know it's not your fault I picked up the wrong drink, but you've got to apologise to Romeo and Winston. Straight away.

Yeah, I feel sick about it. I've been crying all morning. I think I've finally screwed everything up. I just don't know what he sees in Romeo. I'm fag hag fail.

We didn't realise how bad it was until your dad got there. I don't think he's going to want you going to anymore functions with alcohol but he's going to talk about it to Caden. I think that was code for it not being any of our business what decisions get made. We just... all of us agreed once your dad took you home that we knew things were serious for you, but we didn't realise how bad. Like, how severe your illness is. I know. But I don't think either of them wants to listen to me.

Because you've made no effort to get to know Romeo. You were just blinded by the bitching. Everything you don't know what Winnie sees in him is everything Winnie DOES see. What about my Uncle and Mikey? Do you think Mikey's friends ran around sticking their noses in saying they shouldn't date because Paris is a giant bitch? No, because Paris is a bitch, but he's also a really lovely guy and Mikey loves him for the bitch and despite the bitch. Would you expect Will to have given up on me for all the bad things I've done?

Really Bad. With capitals. Look, I've only told people the bits I can handle talking ABOUT. Everything else, it's private between my family and me. And Will. It's the only way I can cope with it. I think staying away from anything with alcohol is... it's a good idea. You know, you do an awful lot of thinking and not enough doing. Stop assuming and fix things.

Edited 2015-01-07 10:14 (UTC)

I feel like such a cunt. I've lost Winnie and I don't know how to fix anything. I don't know when I turned into such a judgement asshole. I just want him happy, I want him to have the best. I guess I just accidentally assumed I have a say in what does that for him.

So, you've done some really bad things with it? I didn't know, Jus. I mean, I knew there was a lot more than I knew, but I didn't realise it was a really severe type. Because when you're good, you're so good. Bright, happy, cute, funny, sweet.

It's okay. I'm hardly in a position to judge someone being a cunt. Then you have to just try. The longer you leave it, the less chance you have of fixing it. Maybe go straight to the source and talk to Romeo. You had a say. You and Aut had a LOT of says. That's the problem.

I went a really long time not being diagnosed. I did really bad things, yeah. But then, I had a lot of bad things done to me too. I just don't want to talk about it. I'm in a good place now. I have my dad, I have a mom who cares, a boyfriend who loves me, a family who protect me. Great doctors, meds. I want to be here. I don't want to be back there. Pretty sure I could club dance sober with the right music for the entertainment factors, and then there's no risk of me trying to fly off a building or make friends with a kitchen knife.

Fuck. You're right. I need to try to talk to Romeo or I'll lose Winnie forever.

Maybe after last night, it would do none of us any harm to stay away from boozy places for awhile. Kind of like a personal support group where we take care of you but you don't need to talk to us about why. You got rhythm, boy. No wonder you were Caden's Ren from the start. Did you audition when you were sick and still nailed it?

Be prepared to fight for him. If you're not, you don't deserve him.

I would really love that. But I can't expect anyone to deny themselves things just because I'm sick. That's sweet, but I'm getting better coping with it. I know everyone hopes that in the times I'm better, I will stay like that and somehow there's been some miracle fix. It doesn't work like that. This is me. I come with ups and downs, and I know it can be a complete buzzkill sometimes. But look at it this way. This time last year, I wouldn't have ordered virgins to start with. I was just diagnosed when I auditioned, so yeah, I was somewhat sick. I had a lot of people tell me I shouldn't do any of this because it was faggy and only poofs sing and dance.

Edited 2015-01-07 10:28 (UTC)

What if I've fucked everything up for good?

Well, I'm going to do it. You and me, and I think Brendan's teetotal anyway, so that's the three of us. You're not alone. Any boozy place you need to avoid, I'm going to be there with you. We can stay in and watch cheesy 80s movies. Starting with Footloose, of course. Oh, honey, I know gay guys who would KILL to be able to dance and sing as well as you do. I also know straight guys who are in the business and still love pussy. Look at Scotty. Prime example. I'm proud of you, JC. I hate that we fucked things up last night, but you're my little matey and I just want to help if I can. Not make it worse for you.

If I can turn my prized fuck-ups around, you can.

I think I love you right now. HEY. Footloose is NOT at all cheesy, bitch. I hugged Kevin Bacon, I protect his honour until my last breath. I know all that now, but back then? I believed it. I believed I was nothing, no one, a waste of space. Look, I'm not going to blame anyone. Just... let me sleep the hangover off and pretend none of this happened. If you want to be helpful, blackmail some people into deleting those videos for me.

Hey, I'm not a little firecracker like you. Says Casper.

I surrender! All hail the Holy Bacon! Go sleep, babyface. At least, try if you can stop puking. Can you tell your dad I'm sorry again? I don't think he really cared what any of us had to say last night. I love you, JC.

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