Ajay hadn't thought of having any firsts with anyone. The more time he spent with Billy, the more Billy was opening his eyes up to all these things he had blocked himself from wanting or hoping for. He had built large and sturdy emotional walls up around himself, and even though he had been in and out of therapy for years of varying intensity, it was now his connection to Billy and having a therapist like Gabe, doctors like Lachlan, who were starting to pull those walls down little by little. This really would be his first Christmas sharing it with someone he knew he was falling in love with. He hadn't let himself flirt with the L word yet, but the feelings were unlike he had ever had before. It was Billy who made them easier to feel. "I'd really like," he admitted bashfully, chewing on the corner of his lip around a hint of a smile.

Billy's suggestion earned a bit of a side-eye glance though. Couples watched each other touching themselves? That was... well, it was giving Ajay this unfamiliar hint of a thrill inside but he wasn't sure he was even ready to see Billy's private parts yet. That might push him into panic even if he was intrigued. Still, his eyes did drop momentarily to Billy's lap and quickly up again. He was processing this carefully, wetting his lips. It had to just be his urge to use the bathroom that was giving him that feeling, right? Or maybe not. Maybe there was a tiny bit of confidence sparking, tempting him to just see what this was like. "Will you try it? Touching me a little, I mean..."