Ajay just nodded with a small sigh. "Yeah, 'fuck' is a good start, I know. You said you live here in the city? You've probably heard of Paris and Gen Hart, they built the fashion magazine, FABULOUS, up from nothing. I was Gen's PA for a few years. We were very close. I came to New York because I quit college in the middle of one of my bad relapses and I just couldn't handle going back to Vermont with my father. His wife wanted a baby, and that was all everything was about. I applied for the job and it sort of gave me this avenue to focus on Gen and not on myself, if that makes sense. I've never been well per se, but I was better working there. Until I got really sick with a bowel obstruction and they thought it was from laxative abuse, but it turns out it was this other thing that went undetected."
It was hard, and he was a little inwardly agitated. It was showing visibly by the way he was knotting his fingers in the edge of the sheet over his lap. "So, I got really sick on a flight home from a business trip overseas with Gen and rushed to hospital the day after. But I could never tell anyone at work about the eating disorder. I was ashamed, thought they would think I was a lying and sham because the magazine is very proactive on things like breast cancer and eating disorders, printing all these self-help guides about warning signs and where to go for help. Which made me try to cover it more. I quit, and Dad took me back to Vermont where he promptly had me admitted to this fancy state-of-the-art eating disorder rehab clinic. It worked for awhile, but I was in a bad place so I relapsed as soon as I was out and I've been like that ever since on the constant pendulum of it controlling me. Billy got my job when I left. I came back to see Gen to apologise, but she had all these problems of her own and I felt terrible for being so selfish. I tried to go to a group therapy but I got in a bad way, and that was the night I got shot. I wouldn't blame you in the slightest if you want to back right off and cut your losses. Most just think I'm attention-seeking or doing nothing to help myself. But I've done it all."
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It was hard, and he was a little inwardly agitated. It was showing visibly by the way he was knotting his fingers in the edge of the sheet over his lap. "So, I got really sick on a flight home from a business trip overseas with Gen and rushed to hospital the day after. But I could never tell anyone at work about the eating disorder. I was ashamed, thought they would think I was a lying and sham because the magazine is very proactive on things like breast cancer and eating disorders, printing all these self-help guides about warning signs and where to go for help. Which made me try to cover it more. I quit, and Dad took me back to Vermont where he promptly had me admitted to this fancy state-of-the-art eating disorder rehab clinic. It worked for awhile, but I was in a bad place so I relapsed as soon as I was out and I've been like that ever since on the constant pendulum of it controlling me. Billy got my job when I left. I came back to see Gen to apologise, but she had all these problems of her own and I felt terrible for being so selfish. I tried to go to a group therapy but I got in a bad way, and that was the night I got shot. I wouldn't blame you in the slightest if you want to back right off and cut your losses. Most just think I'm attention-seeking or doing nothing to help myself. But I've done it all."