"I guess what I was actually trying to say was I don't want you to feel obligated and now it's out there, it sounds dumb and not what I really mean anyway. It's just reflexive of the awkward limbo we've been in. The reality is, I've missed you so fucking much and when I sick and at rock bottom, you're the one I wanted there with me. So many fucking times, I nearly called you. I know Mum nearly told your mum but I made her swear not to. The last thing I want is for you to feel like you have to keep reassuring me you're going to be there, so just chalk it up to me trying to find my feet with this again. A lot's changed since last time and it'll take time to find our feet. We don't need to rush the process. Let me just backpedal and say, yeah, the flares are pretty shithouse. The pain really does a number on my mood too. I realised that when even Keegan told me to chill and stop being a cunt one day when he was just trying to help me. Legit, I was being a cunt," Kade confirmed with a laugh, taking Alec's hand and letting their fingers easily lace together. "I want to say it's not obvious on the outside when I'm having a flare but it is. But I'll let you know. I can make that promise. Only thing is, I'm kind of a germ magnet after the infections, so I don't always know it's a flare. But I'll tell you if I'm feeling shit. Besides being there for your family, how's things been you? Life in general, all that shit. I asked Mum if she had any updates and she told me if I wanted to know, I should ask you myself."