"Not recently. I was seeing one for awhile but it started to feel like I was just rehashing the bad stuff. It was easier to just bury it away and get on with the job. I'm sure there's probably some way to psych-evaluate even that choice but it is what it is. The sticking point was always that... I just feel like I distracted you that day, took your eye off the ball, so to speak. It was the first time we'd seen each other in years and the first thing we do is snog like no time has passed at all. Again, sure there's capacity for psych evaluation but seeing as I know that wasn't one-sided and seems to be a thing with us, it feels like it shouldn't be a problem. But clearly it is because we're still here, trying to sort this shit out, meaning there's shit to sort out. That's the part I get stuck on, though. Am I just too much of a distraction for you when you need to be focused on your family?" It was a massive thing for Kade to finally get out there, to put into words and finally hand to Alec. That one thing that kept churning over and over in his head, born of that moment when they were kissing each other at Bondi like no one else in the world existed, right at the moment Justin walked into a rip fully-clothed to drown himself, when moments before, Alec had been sitting on the sand with Justin and watching him. He exhaled heavily, not realising he was taking in such a deep breath to get the words out, and took a mouthful of his tea, holding it in his mouth and keeping his eyes locked on the cup in his hands. Maybe he just needed the answer he didn't want to this, to get closure for everything. He really didn't know anymore.