"I know what you mean, darlin'. One thing I'd never think is that you believe I can't handle it. Something that you really discount in yourself is how much balls it took for you to trust me to care for you and with your most private, vulnerable aspects of your life when we first met. You never once made me feel like I had to prove that you could trust me or that you doubted I was capable of taking care of you when you were sick. The only thing worrying me about doing it again is that I might lose you. I'm not gonna dwell on it or anything. I know you want to try to go into it this time more prepared and optimistic that it won't be as harrowing. And you should. This time, you're going in with the oncology dream team and we know what chemo did to you last time, so we'll see the signs if it's getting worse again. Is this what we were planning on going into the next phase of our marriage? No. Did we think you were out of the woods and on the home strait? Also no. We won't let it be Groundhog Day, baby. You do whatever you need to do for as long as you think you can manage and I'll have your back every step of the way. My marriage vows are, and always will be, the most sacred things I've ever said out loud. I want you to know I truly mean that." Merlin kissed the tip of Brandon's nose and then his forehead, enjoying the way he was snuggled in against his side. He really wished he could coax Brandon to lie on top of him but that was off the cards until his stomach healed more. "You were feeling so sick that day but somehow, it still turned out to be the most amazing day ever. I thought maybe if things go okay, I could show it to Cillian. If he's interested, that is. Are people really interested in watching other folks' wedding videos? I mean, ignoring the fact TMZ would probably pay a packet for ours because, well, you're you and the tabloids are butthurt you only ever released one wedding photo to the world."

He swallowed, tracing his tongue over his lips to wet them. "I, um... we gotta have a conversation about all that too at some point, darlin'. Not now. They told me in hospital that because I've got an autoimmune condition that is 'active', I think they called it, I can't be your donor again right now. But I know Lachie has some frozen or whatever. And like, maybe I ain't the best match anyway, because of how sick you got with the GvHD. It's a lot to get my head around. I don't wanna prematurely freak out about it." He looked up at the ceiling, trying to remember what he knew of Jesse and Justin meeting their biological families. "Justin, I think it was. Only because he was so starved for love and care by the time he found his dad and Mark had no hesitation stepping up. I wasn't there at the time and by the time I met Jus, he was real close to his dad. I think it was a bit different when he met his birth mom but it was because he was anxious about telling her his realities of being mentally ill. Jess had to learn his dad had passed away too. Even if it was a bit weird at first, they're close now. Shit, all my parents in one place at one time? I think I already feel an anxiety migraine coming on. Like, just ripping the band-aid off, huh?"