"Justin's not coping well at the moment anyway. He's had serious injuries himself and his prognosis is even sketchy for now. Accident recovery and rehab isn't anything I need to guide you on, that's for sure. We could let his folks know that if he wants to reach out to you to talk to you about the brain injury side of things, he can when he's ready. If that's a way you think you might be able to help. You wouldn't have to make any promises. Justin already knows most promises of something better can't be assured. But he might find comfort in talking to someone who has survived a brain injury and lives a fulfilling life. It might also be too much for him to wrap his head around yet. Of course you're worrying about them both, though. You've been there." Jesse hadn't quite prepared himself for Jace to actually ask these questions directly but it was Jace, and he should've pre-empted it as a possibility. If he was being honest with himself, though, it was making him feel shaky and upset inside, which he could recognise as a by-produce of finding himself in the grips of compassion fatigue. "As a nursing specialist, I think it's probably time to at least review your treatment and get you assessed because you've had some seizure episodes that you're not easily coming out of. But as your husband, darlin', no, I don't think you're necessarily getting worse. I just think that as your brain has developed, the way your epilepsy and brain injury interact has changed. A brain doesn't fully develop until around the age of twenty-five, so things have still been developing. How that will look for you is different to normal development. I think the seizures have evolved and make you feel much worse, which could be as simple as needing different types of treatment. You're not any more difficult to take care of, if that's what you're thinking."

Sitting on the beach in peace and having space and time to think with Jace sounded glorious. It was just a lot harder to figure out if going to visit his father's grave in Massachusetts was what he needed emotionally. He nodded and cleared his throat. "How about we just start by putting some flowers on Andi's grave for Sash and then playing the stuff with my dad by ear? Maybe we could ask Merlin and Brandon if they want to come with us, get away for a few days before they need to think about Brandon's treatment again. I don't think heading away alone is a good idea. If I have a seizure, you can't be on your own if you fall ill too. It's not that I don't want to visit my dad's grave, it's just that all I feel like doing right now is going to bed and staying there for a few days. There's just too much going on. Getting away from the city for a bit might help. I don't always know how to switch off."