Jace ran his tongue over his lips and answered with just a bit of a shrug but it wasn't really his only response. Just a stopover while he tried to figure out where his mind was with his health and with the Evan stuff. He nodded but he knew Jesse's question was more rhetorical than anything because Jesse knew him, way more than even he knew himself. Jesse knew when things were bothering him and usually had at least an inkling of what. But he was always so gentle and never pushed. Jesse always gave him the space he needed to sit with things and talk about them when he was ready. He wasn't always. He could get extremely upset and frustrated trying to work through something before he had capacity to confront it. Sure, that meant sometimes it all built up inside to boiling point and caused emotional outbursts. But even those, Jesse had all the time in the world for him. Before meeting Jesse, Jace didn't believe in soul mates. Now he knew without a shadow of doubt that they were real and he found his. "It feels like the seizures are more intense and taking longer to recover from but I guess I don't know if that's true or just feels like it. I always feel like utter shit until I don't. Then it's hard to know for sure what actually happened when I was sick. Would you tell me if you thought they were getting worse or would you only tell me if I asked? Ev would never tell me. Not unless there was something that really impacted on my life. When I was a kid and younger, it didn't matter. Now I'm grown up and married. It matters. It matters because it affects you. It's not that I don't want him to be my doctor. I just want him to be my big brother more. Like, maybe Ethan can do it and Ev just jump in when I'm real bad? Fuck. I don't know if I even know what I'm trying to say. Everything just feels... hugely big again after Sash..."

"Maybe we should go up to Boston and visit them both, then? Sash can't so we could go and ask her to try extra hard to get him through this. I mean, miracles can happen but he needs help. Do you think they know? People who have died, when the people they had to leave behind need help? Dad used to say he liked to think my grandma was watching over me when I was still in a coma but I don't know. I don't remember anything but it's nice to think about her sitting at my bedside holding my hand or something." He brushed his hand over Jesse's thigh, giving it a soft squeeze. "It's okay if it doesn't feel natural at first. Or if you try and you think it's not something that works for you. But I think if our loved ones we lose check in now and again to make sure we're okay, your dad would probably like to hear from you, hear how you are? Especially if that's not so good at the moment."