It was a relief to see Jace's appetite had returned. It was always a battle after his seizures. Whether he had issues with texture or taste, whether he couldn't swallow anything more than fluids or pureed food, whether he was too nauseous to keep anything down, or often all of the above. Banana smoothies had become a staple. Bananas had been a favourite of Jace since he was a kid and it was one of the only flavours his brain had been able to identify when he was recovering from the brain injury and receiving speech therapy. He reverted to some of that immediately after his more severe seizures. Jesse was always terrified when his most basic of functions were disrupted. It could always very rapidly lead to a serious medical emergency where Jace's life was on the line. He had learned a lot about nursing brain-injured people since meeting Jace. "That's why I'm here. Why we're all here. To do everything we can so you don't have to explain. But I know it gets you real upset when it's happening. You're scared and feeling awful. None of that is your fault, darlin'. I've noticed since Evan's been back that when he's not feeling well, you watch him a lot. Are you worried drinking caused the Crohn's and think somehow that's your fault? You push him away a lot when you're not well. I didn't know if it could be something going on in your subconscious. We don't have to talk about it, though. You're allowed to feel whatever you need to about being disabled and having to live with the trauma. I don't want to get you upset."

This was something Jesse knew Jace would forever had a lot of anger around. Evan had told him how the confrontation between Jace and Jesse's mother had gone down. It was the most angry Evan had ever seen him. Jesse had no intentions of ever speaking to his mother again, though. He would never tolerate having to justify his and Jace's existence and love ever again. "I'll tell him," he promised quietly, more playing with the food on his plate with his fork than eating much of it. "Cillian's a lovely guy. I think he can only bring love and positivity to Merlin's life at a time he really needs to be reminded of all that. But he comes from a very, well, traumatic background himself. He used to be in the Air Force. A pilot with medical training. He was nearly killed in action when his helicopter was shot down and now he's a paraplegic in a wheelchair. There's a lot about him that Merlin will need to process and feel a lot of complicated things in learning about. I felt the same sort of way when I found out my father had died before I got to meet him. I'm glad Merlin doesn't have to face that. He's got the chance to meet him and I know he'll value that once he can wade through everything else weighing on him right now. I still really struggle with the notion of missing someone I never met. Some days, I miss him so much, it hurts a whole lot. I don't have any parents because my mother was a serial adultress who didn't give a fuck about the lives she created in the process."