"That would've been a lot easier to deal with, darlin'. But you didn't. I know you struggle the most with losing those basic functions, even if I'm your husband and it's nothing for me to take extra care of you when you need it. That's why we have disability aids on hand to use for the bad days." Jesse sniffled and wiped his eyes, knowing that if he let himself dissolve into a sobbing mess, it would be hard to pull out of as tired as he was. The lack of sound sleep was definitely compounding a lot. It's just that the 'a lot' was a significant lot all on its own, without throwing inability to sleep well into the mix. Life always had a way of dumping steaming piles of crap on you all at once, though. Most of it wasn't even his primarily, it was because he was trying to support his family as much as he could, however they needed it. He supposed he'd inevitably have eventually buckled under the additional pressure. Life was already weighty for him and Jace, both dealing with their illnesses and Jesse being Jace's carer because he was brain injured significantly enough for it to be a disability. The extra things were taking the additional toll. "I don't know how I got so lucky to have you. Every day, I wake up and think that. It scares me when I've got to face losing you. Even losing parts of you. Not just because of the loss, but your loss. I want to do all I can, whenever I can, so you can maintain the quality of life you have. I'd take every damn bad day off you if I could. When you didn't want me to help you, I really thought I'd have my shit together better and shoulder it. It's just part of your illness, I know that. Things are just extra raw with Merlin and Brandon, and meeting Cillian brought up things for me I didn't anticipate. Or just thought I'd dealt with and adequately put to bed. We should eat, beautiful. The only thing we been able to get into this week is some banana smoothie here and there. Let's go out on the terrace and eat. It's a lovely night. Make the most of the weather while we have it."