"Ya' now, when I heard that he wanted ya' and I to meet first, I didn't think o' it in the sense o' a buffer. Just thought it was smart. Didn't actually realise right off that he had two big brothers and bein' both a bit and a wee brother myself, I truly did get it. Probably would've done the same thing for my sisters. Ya' not just protectin' him, ya' takin' some o' the weight so he doesn't have to go in fully blindsided. Gives ya' a chance to make a deduction on my intentions. All that. The emotional buffer is the most important, 'cause I don't need more than a wee bit o' intelligence to know that what he's been through, it'd have left him maybe not quite as able to fill his cup as much as before. That's what trauma does, robs us o' sturdy foundations 'til we have more time to heal. He hasn't. Saw from the wee bit I read 'bout Brandon to see if he could help me meet Merlin was he hasn't been in remission long, so relapse news, it's come when things are still tender. Not been enough time to find their footin' again. My timin' is absolute bollocks and for that, I am sorry. Resilience, though? I can hear ya' whole family'd have that in spades by now. The balls it takes to even agree to let me come to ya' home when ya' husband isn't well and I can see ya' fatigued. Don't forget to take care o' ya'self. Compassion fatigue or vicarious trauma, it can be swift when it hits and kneecap us before we realise it's comin'. Did Merlin and Brandon have a nice weddin'? I think I spotted one of their wedding photos on ya' mantel o'er there? Couldn't be sure from this distance. Just look a different colour scheme to the photo of ya' own weddin' photo on the wall there. Make a mighty good lookin' couple, ya' do," Cillian told Jesse, smiling. It had been hard not to take in the large amount of family photos in the living room here. It reminded Cillian of his folks' home back in Ireland and made him a wee bit homesick for his family. He knew they were all waiting for updates but he didn't have enough to give them yet.

Then, a burst of anger swelled up inside him like lava hearing the things his flesh and blood son had been subjected to at the hands of bastard kid bullies. He hadn't been bullied in school, he had always been part of the popular crowd but he always stood up to bullies. It had been tough for him climbing the ranks in the military, having to be so regimented and even aggressive when training ranks his junior. His least favourite part of his career was running drills. "I should've been in his life. Do ya' know if his folks had a preference for a closed adoption? I know if they did, me bein' here is goin' to have an additional level of difficulty for them to face. Not tellin' him he was adopted seems to indicate they did. If I'd have known he existed, I would've moved mountains to be in his life. I couldn't have given him up for adoption. Small blessin's, I guess. He had the family he belonged with. I'm real sorry ya' didn't have that too, mate."