Cillian saw Jesse withdraw just a little but it was short-lived before he regained his composure. Whatever was on his mind was difficult and Cillian respected what he was going through doing this for his brother. He definitely didn't have to but he was grateful for Jesse's time and open honesty. "Still, that doesn't make ya' trauma disappear. It's human nature for any siblin' who is close to their brothers or sister to need to protect 'em any way ya' can. Wantin' to take his pain, I get it. I truly do. But from what I've learned o' Merlin so far, I'd his heart'd break for ya', knowin' ya' survived conversion therapy and an abusive upbringin' because o' religion and bein' gay. Of course, I don' know 'bout Merlin's own journey with his sexuality or comin' out. If he even did. Not everyone considers themselves as havin' a comin' out. I know Brandon's was significant and probably traumatic. Did he not wanna be out in the spotlight? I only read small amounts online 'bout him when I was tryin' to decide if I should try to contact Merlin. I can see he's extremely private 'bout his personal life. Merlin seems like an easygoin' kid who posts a lot on his social media but again, nothin' considerably private. Valuin' privacy through a serious illness is understandable. They don't owe their fans anythin. But sounds to me like he's definitely lucked out in the brother stakes and it's comfortin' to know he has so many folk 'round him and that he has two brothers and a husband who'd protect him and care for him with their lives. Honestly? That's all I wanted to know. I could walk away right now if he decided not to meet me and be happy with that. 'Course, I still hope to actually meet him but I don't want to add to his pressure. I'm sure if I even had an inklin o' the depths o' what he's goin' through, I'd have not reached out to find him."

He nodded, smiling. "I'm already awed by him. It's very hard to explain but I feel all these emotions that are overwhelmin' at the moment but I don't regret the decision I made. I haven't played any part in him becomin' the amazin' young man he sounds like he is but I gave him life and I'm proud o' that. Aye, completely serious. My sister danced for five years with the Royal Ballet in London and owns her own dance studio here now. Kind o' an offshoot o' Mum's studio in Ireland. My family are all quite chuffed too, 'cause his name has Celtic origin and Dad's favourite movie is Excalibur. They're all a wee bit less measured than I am, only 'cause they're excited. They'd all have come with me if they could but we don't want to overwhelm him anymore than this'll already been a mindfuck. I tried to get tickets to the show but haven't been successful with the lottery process. 'Course, I'd prefer to see it when Merlin's performin'."