"Yeah, I have to admit, I'm somewhat relieved I was only seven when I got meningitis and came out of it with epilepsy. I don't have much recollection of life without it and of course, wasn't at an age where I had any real independence or agency over my life. I grew with it and it grew with me. Not to say that it was ever fun being teased and bullied for having fits and doing embarrassing things because of them but it's no secret that kids can be assholes. Damien was always my biggest protector. He's a pretty laidback guy but he's definitely not quiet and introverted like I always was and he called the assholes out when they were assholes. Outright threatened them if he needed to. Probably why he was such an awesome big brother to Merlin from day one. It was very shortly after I was sick and in hospital that Merlin was born. It as pretty fucked up for me to realise that at the time I nearly died from meningitis and was fighting for my life with it, my mother was pregnant with him. Damien's mom actually told me my mother was overseas at the time I fell sick but I don't much memory from around the time. It was after I was diagnosed with epilepsy and discharged from hospital that she told Mrs Larson she was pregnant. She was crying to her about how she didn't think she could take care of a new born while she nursed a sick kid but she couldn't have an abortion either, because of her religion. It all leaves a very bad taste in my mouth and I don't like to talk about it much these days because I've never wanted Merlin to think I'm upset at him or his existence. Nothing could be further from the truth. I was over the moon to learn he was my biological brother and I love him more life itself. But it doesn't erase that my parents are toxic homophobic bigots who were both very cold as parents. All the family love I knew were from the Larsons or a couple of my non-religious aunts and uncles, and their kids, my cousins. And the Turners now, my in-laws. They are basically the polar opposite of my family life. I'm so blessed. It's through meeting Jace and becoming a hands-on carer for him and my work as a nurse that I very much understand the struggle of fighting to retain agency. Brandon was fiercely independent and strong-willed before he fell sick and it's been a challenge for him to accept he needed so much help over the months. He had a tough and lonely childhood, so he learned to fend for himself for a young age. He has let Merlin in with everything and never diminished the help he's been to him. But of course, he was trying to rebuild and I think a big part of that was wanting to be the one to care for Merlin for a change. That's definitely something Jace and I get. The push-pull of caring for each other. Some days, you just feel shit being incapacitated and unfortunately, we take that out on those we're closest to." Jesse gave Cillian a smile, knowing if there was a paramount concept of what they were discussing here that Cillian would have empathy with, it would be that. Anyone who became wheelchair-bounded went through it and you never meant to spite your loved ones for tyring to help you through it. "Jace was twenty-one when we got married, I was twenty-three. Almost twenty-four. We were so lucky, we just clicked together. Everything made sense after I met him. Getting his family to relinquish trust to let me care for him, though? Definitely another story. Especially his big brothers. There's a big age gap between him and them."

He checked the app on his phone to see if Jace was still sleeping. "I'm just going to duck in to make sure I can still rouse Jace. I'll be bright back." Jace was still sleeping soundly and this was the worst part for Jesse, having to rouse him to make sure he wasn't having continued seizures. Jace was always bitchy when he got woken but this time, just nudge Jesse's hand away and re-burrowed under the covers, crashing out again. He returned to the living room, picking up his mug again. "It's natural to wanna buffer this whole thing for you and Merlin so he doesn't feel pressured but I really don't think he's going to reject you and cut ties. It's a unique situation, sure, but there's a big reason I'm pretty sure he will wanna give you a chance. His co-worker and close friend, Justin. Not sure if you have any familiarity with Justin Campbell's story but he came to New York to find his dad when he was fifteen and now they have an incredible close father-son bond. You don't need to buffer Merlin as much as you feel you need to. He's an old soul and has a big heart. He just needs time to process big emotions. Of course, I understand if you need to buffer yourself. It's okay to let yourself be a lil' excited that you found him, though. None of us could deny you that. Yes! Tara and Lachlan. I actually work with both of them at the hospital. I'm specialised in trauma and emergency medicine, so I straddle a few different wards at work. Did your sister study medicine too? Do you have a big family?"