Merlin didn't know why Jesse's gentle and simple observation hit him so hard. It was like a metaphorical slap in the face, a reality check that was hard to hear but he knew he needed to hear it. He didn't even really know what to say at first because he had to take time with it so it could really sink in, even more so having just been under an anaesthetic. "Maybe I should ask him if we could go away for a bit of a break together, maybe at the Cape Cod house or Justin and Sash's Vermont lake house. They said any of us could use it whenever we want. I just feel like there's this... this... huge gaping canyon between us at the moment. Like, emotionally. We're not really having problems, we're just missing the mark with communicating what we need, I guess. I think back to the first time, the road trip. We had to talk so much then because we were getting to know each other. He was such a wall when it came to sharing shit, so we had to learn to take care of each other and work through things. I know just about all the misfires are because he wants to protect me and that's a huge thing, that sorta love. It's not something I ever thought I'd find. But I'm doing the same thing, trying to protect him. It really, really does not fucking work. Most of the time, it makes things worse. But I miss how close we were on that road trip. Everything we conquered together on it. Before he starts his treatment, maybe we should try to replicate that somehow? Just confront it, talk it all out, away from everything. He said he usually gets away to learn his scripts for shooting anyway. That's why he bought the Cape Cod place. He'd go away there by himself and just mad cram his lines. Maybe we could kill two birds with one stone?" He sighed and looked between his big brothers. "I wanna hold him and tell him it's all gonna be okay. But I can't, 'cause we don't know that. I know what happened to Beau when he relapsed. He nearly died. That's why I'm terrified. It's he same type of cancer. Beau survived because he had a full marrow match from his brothers."