Merlin exhaled so heavily, he made himself cough with his throat still feeling a bit parched and scratchy from the anaesthetic. "I didn't even fucking look. Shit. I guess I was just thinking about seeing the match for myself. It was too much of a mindfuck, I ain't really been thinking straight. It's just been one shitty moment from the next lately and yeah, the timing of this couldn't be worse. Damo, I get it's a mindfuck and you're probably wondering why I'd even wanna do it. I've got Mom and Dad, I never even gave a thought to the fact I've obviously got a biological dad out there somewhere. If I do it, it ain't gonna be because I think my family's lacking or I'm missing something. I ain't. At all. Even if it was a lot to learn I was adopted and for a long time, it felt like I wasn't enough for you because I didn't share your blood. It's fucked, I know, but I couldn't stop the places my mind went when I realised y'all kept that secret from me my whole life. That was back then. There was a whole lotta shit I had to think and feel before I knew how to accept it. You know my head, it's in overdrive more often than not. There's something else too. The guy said his dad, uncle, and grandfather have got ulcerative colitis. Like, I guess it's hereditary? Think maybe I just... I dunno, panicked? It felt like maybe he Googled me or something and knew too much. But then Bran asked me if I'd put it out there to anyone that I had UC and I ain't. Family and friends, yeah. I Googled myself and UC and nothing came up, so it was just dumb. Fuck, I just feel like I'm losing my mind lately. Everything was settled, like. Now everything's gone to shit." He took his phone back and scrolled back to his DNA results. "Um, 32% Georgia and Florida Settlers. South Carolina and Atlanta, specifically. 17% England, Yorkshire. 51% Ireland. Down, Northern Ireland. I- I just... will you talk to him, Jess? You'll know if he's genuine."